by Ford, Mia
“I thought you were going to cut back on the drinking, too?”
“I have,” Sam said. “Today is the first day I have had any drinks for several days. Maybe even a week, but I’m not counting days.”
“You are still drinking way too much,” I said. “When the baby comes you have to cut it down way farther. I’m not going to have my baby raised by a lush.”
“Oh, please,” Sam said. “I’m far from being an alcoholic. My therapist even said that.”
“Well, I doubt you tell your therapist how much you drink, but it is becoming an issue.”
“This had nothing to do with drinking,” I said. “I hustled some moron in pool. I only had one beer. I wasn’t even remotely drunk, not even tipsy.”
I shook my head. I was tired of having the same exact argument with this man. I hated that I was harping on him so badly, because he had come a long way and made great strides in improving himself. I just wished to hell he would grow up and stop doing these juvenile things like he was still some college freshman.
“Why were you hustling pool? It’s not like we need the money,” I said.
“I was bored, and I thought it would be fun. I used to do that for the same reason.”
“You should have been home! Why couldn’t you just come home?” I demanded. I was yelling now. And I hated yelling.
“Because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. I didn’t sell anything today. I had a bad day at work.”
“You will have bad days,” I said. “It’s going to happen. You can’t go off the rails.”
“I didn’t go off the ---watch out!”
Sam’s words blasted in my ear a moment before I saw the car about to slam into the driver’s side door. I didn’t have time to think or react, even though it felt like it was all happening in slow motion.
All I could do was think, “Please don’t hurt my baby!”
And then I felt the pain and everything went black.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Sam
“She’s going to be ok.”
Those words were supposed to be comforting, but to me they sounded like the prophet of doom had said them. Everything that happened, every thought, every action—all of it sounded sad to me. I could barely breathe. I had to keep reminding myself to take breaths and to calm down, but my heart was racing, my head was pounding, and I felt that everything in the world had suddenly turned against me.
How did this happen? How did this happen to my sweet Kay, and my angel daughter?
I glanced up at my father who was trying to be comforting. It felt good knowing he and my mother were here. They had come instantly when I called to tell them about Kay. When they arrived I was a nervous wreck. My father was a man who never showed emotion, and it helped me keep it together. His strong presence was enough for me to remain hinged when I felt like my entire world was collapsing and I was so close to having an epic meltdown.
So far we hadn’t heard anything about Kay’s condition. She’d hit her head during the accident when the car blindsided us. I didn’t have a scratch on me, but Kay was out cold. They had taken her back for emergency surgery. The baby was in distress and they were working hard to get both her and Kay stable.
That had been almost an hour before. I was freaking the hell out.
I stood up and started pacing, as I did when I was nervous.
“Son, sit down,” Dad said. “This isn’t going to help.”
“I know,” I said. “I just feel so helpless with everything. I feel that this is my fault.”
“A driver ran a stop sign; that is not your fault.”
“Yeah, meanwhile that jerk is just fine, while Kay and the baby…”
I burst into tears. I couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“Son, it’s ok,” my mother said. “Kay is a tough woman. She and that baby are going to be just fine.”
I nodded and sat back down wiping the tears back. It just seemed so heartbreaking that every time something good happened, something worse came along to destroy it. That was the story of my life and I didn’t see an end to that pattern coming anytime soon.
The doctor came out just then.
“How are they?” I asked.
“They are both fine,” she said. “There were some complications and we had to do an emergency C section. So your daughter is fine, but she will need to be under observation for the next few weeks, since she is a bit premature.”
“And how is Kay?” I asked.
“She is resting, but she came through everything with flying collars. She hit her head pretty good during the accident and has a slight concussion, but barring any complications I don’t see her having any issues. She should be awake soon. I’ll take you back to see her.”
My dad hugged me closely. The relief washed over me in wave moving up and down my body. I slowly felt my sanity coming back.
I found a way to put one foot in front of the other and followed the doctor to the room where Kay was still sleeping peacefully.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kay
“She is so beautiful,” I said.
“Yeah, she is,” Sam replied.
We were standing outside looking in at our daughter in the NICU. She was so peaceful, just lying there resting, trying to further her development. It blew my mind to think at one time she wouldn’t have had a fighting chance being born so early, but thanks to the modern world we lived in our daughter would most likely be just fine.
But that terror of the “what if” still loomed in my mind. I was going to be on pins and needles until she was home safe and sound with us. I think we both were, actually. I couldn’t believe how scared and nervous Sam was about it all. It was comforting to know that he had a lot of the same fears that I did and to know that he was there with me through it all was the most comforting thing.
When I woke up after the accident and the doctor explained everything to me I was on the verge of total terror, but Sam talked to me and helped me calm down. He kept blaming himself for the accident, but I told him it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t. I didn’t blame him.
He swore up and down that he would do better and that he would never again get in some stupid fight or get himself arrested like that. And he vowed to stop drinking completely. I was shocked that he said that because he’d never said he would stop completely before. But when he said it I could tell he was deadly serious.
And that made me feel so safe.
“So, have we settled on a name, yet?” Sam asked me.
I smiled. We’d been debating a zillion names for the past few months. I wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal or hard to decide, but we had narrowed it down to a few that we both liked.
“I really like Tabitha,” I said. I wasn’t sure why, but that name had always called to me, ever since we’d started to debate on this topic.
Sam thought a moment and smiled. “Tabitha sounds great. I guess we can finally inform them so they can update her info.”
I laughed. As of right now, she was known only as Baby Allan.
Sam hadn’t wanted to do the naming without me. I appreciated that he waited.
“I’m just so anxious,” I said. “And scared. These upcoming weeks are going to be the hardest of my life. The unknown is always so scary.”
Sam wrapped me up in his arms. “It’s ok. Everything will be fine.”
And his words were so comforting. I believed him. Everything would be fine.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sam
(Six Weeks Later)
“She looks so perfect,” I said. “Do you think she realizes that she is finally home?”
Kay smiled and pulled close to me. “I think so. See how peaceful she looks.”
We were standing over our daughter lying in her crib in her nursery we’d set up in the guest bedroom. She was beautiful. She was perfect. Everything about her was just amazing and bright, and I knew that she had the world by the tail and she would go into it with strength and
guidance that we would give to her. And I wanted to be there any way I could to help her along the way. I wanted to protect her, teach her, and show her that the world is waiting for her to do great things, and I couldn’t wait to see what she did.
“Wow,” I said. “I can’t believe she is finally home. That was the longest six weeks in history.”
I was so tired, but I was too excited to be sleepy. It felt like I’d spent every waking moment at the hospital the past few weeks. Luckily my dad had given me a lot of flexibility in my work schedule and I think the time off work had helped my concentration and focus because I’d been selling like crazy. The money I was making had reached ridiculous levels and I had to admit I was having a lot of fun with it.
We left our daughter to rest and went out into the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of sparkling white grape juice since I no longer drank alcohol, but the bottle was fancy and looked like a wine bottle, so it was the same thing…
Kay laughed at me as I pretended to be pouring a glass of expensive merlot, including the twist motion on the bottle at the end to make it official. I couldn’t go around spilling precious drops of grape juice.
“Cheers,” Kay said.
“Cheers,” I replied as we toasted. “To Tabitha. To health. And to us.”
“Yes,” Kay said.
“I need to send your parents a fruit basket or something,” Kay said. “They’ve been so awesome.”
“Well, what about yours? They were here as much as they could be,” I said.
“It was so sweet of your dad to fly my parents down here,” I said.
“Yeah, the old man has softened up since becoming a grandpa. I think he is going to spoil that kid totally rotten.”
Kay laughed. “That’s fine, I’ll let him.”
“Agreed,” I said.
“I’ve noticed you and your dad are getting along a lot better,” Kay said.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’m not sure if it’s just because of how well I’m doing at work, or if it’s having a family of my own. But whatever it is I’m glad we are making some progress. But I still think he is a bastard, no matter how sweet he might act sometimes.”
“I’ll keep my guard up,” Kay said.
I smiled and pulled her close. I kissed her on the lips softly and then hugged her again, this time kissing her on the ear a few times.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” She whispered back.
“Come here,” I said. “I’ve got something to show you that I want our daughter to be present for.”
Kay laughed. “What? She’s sleeping.”
“Yeah, she can sleep, but I just want her there,” I said. I was nervous but I’d been planning this for a few weeks now.
I escorted Kay into our daughter’s room. We were now standing beside the crib.
“What is going on?” Kay asked.
I swallowed and took a deep breath.
“Kay Allan,” I said. “You are my everything. I can’t imagine a single second of any day without you in it and when I am apart from you I just struggle until I have you by my side once again.”
“Babe…” Kay said with tears in her beautiful eyes.
I got down one knee then and pulled the ring box out of my pocket. As Kay’s eyes widened in amazement and absolute shock I opened the box to reveal the large diamond ring.
“Kay Allan,” I said. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes! Yes! Of course!” Kay exclaimed.
I slid the ring on her beautiful finger. Then I stood up and she fell into my waiting arms. I held her tightly and kissed her again and again.
I couldn’t believe that the woman of my dreams was now going to become my wife. As we held each other tightly we both looked down at the miracle that was our beautiful daughter and we smiled, both of us with tears in our eyes and total joy in our hearts.
Life was beautiful.
Epilogue
Kay
(6 months later)
“Well, that is the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
I turned to look over my shoulder at the voice coming from the doorway. It was my mother standing there beaming waves of happiness and pride. She looked as if she might burst into tears of joy at any moment, but she was doing a great job of holding it all in. I was proud of her. And I knew that she was proud of me.
“Hi, mom,” I said.
I was sitting in front of my mirror in my wedding dress. My hair was done. My makeup looked perfect. Now I was just waiting to get the show on the road. I was so nervous I felt that my bladder was about to burst at any moment and ruin my wedding dress, but I’d gone to the bathroom right before, and I was very careful about not drinking any fluids that morning. I felt dehydrated and I was starving, but I did not want to mess with the hassle of getting out of this dress to go to the bathroom. No way was that happening.
I was so nervous. I had never been this nervous and excited at the same time. My mind kept racing from one extreme to the other. I wondered how normal this was.
“Darling, you look amazing,” My mom said. “I’m so happy for you.”
I smiled warmly. “Thank you so much. It means the world to me that you and Dad are here.”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t we be here?” My mom asked.
I didn’t respond, but we both knew why. I loved how open and supportive my mother and father had become of the love that Sam and I shared. It was not easy for them and I appreciated it, but they had both been wonderful.
“Your bridesmaids are beautiful, too,” Mom said.
I had to agree that April, Callie, and Peggy all looked amazing. I’d chosen Callie to be my maid of honor and she’d actually accepted. Both of my oldest friends had openly apologized to me and realized that they were wrong and closed minded about everything. It was a process, but after I got out of the hospital and they’d both learned what happened with the car accident it seemed to put things in perspective for them and they called me. We were all able to bury the hatchet. I’m not sure exactly why I forgave them initially, but somehow in my heart I learned to forgive them. I believe becoming a mother and the ordeal of the accident put some things in perspective for me too. Life was too short to hold grudges and to shun forgiveness. I didn’t want to live that way.
“Do you like the color scheme and everything that I picked out?” I asked. For some reason that had me so nervous. I was worried that everything wasn’t going to be just right. In fact, Sam had wanted to get married about three months after he proposed, but I had to set him straight that if we were going to do this wedding then it had to be done right and I was going to need at least six months to properly prepare everything. And what a six months it had been. Talk about a whirlwind. I didn’t know how I was still in one piece, with being a mother, and still working hard in my career it had been hard, but somehow I made it work.
“It’s beautiful,” Mom said. “Tabitha is sitting on your father’s lap. I don’t remember him being that eager to hold you when you were first born. He is going to spoil your baby rotten.”
“That’s fine with me,” I said. “I’m actually going to encourage it.”
My mom laughed. “Wow, you don’t want to let Sam get a whiff of that idea.”
I laughed. “It was partly his idea!”
My mom held me close and looked at me again. “You’ve got a good man, there. You should cherish him always.”
I smiled. “Yeah. I know. I will.”
“They are almost ready,” Mom said. “I’m going back out and I’ll see you in a moment.”
“Ok.”
I sat quietly in my dressing room and took several deep breaths trying to get myself together. I was scared. I really was, but I wasn’t sure what I was scared of. I’d thought about this moment since I was a little girl and now that it was finally here, I was terrified. I had no idea why. But maybe I wasn’t supposed to know. Maybe it was normal.
“Just do it.”
I said out loud to myself. T
hen I gave my reflection a wink and a giggle.
Ten minutes later, I was walking down the aisle with my father. Sam was standing up front looking amazing in his dark, black tuxedo. I couldn’t believe that I actually got to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man. His strength supported me and inspired me. All he’d overcome… it was astonishing.
As I passed by my mother, I saw our little girl smiling at me. I smiled back. I truly was the luckiest woman in the world.
The ceremony itself was almost a blur. I was lost in the clouds, in my head with Sam, as if we were the only people there. The words from the minister echoed in my ears and I understood what to do and when to do it, but we might as well have been utterly alone, and I was fine with that. We were going to be together forever, just us and our child. We were in love and nothing would ever change this. Nothing would ever divide us. We’d proven that love can overcome virtually anything.
After the ceremony we greeted everyone, then we took pictures, and then I went to change for the reception. I couldn’t believe how long the pictures took, but the photographer we had hired was very consistent and thorough. I couldn’t wait to see how amazing the pictures ended up being.
The reception was perfect. When we finally arrived, we were announced and everyone cheered for us. I was not used to this much attention, even though I’d always been pretty popular. This was the first time I’d ever truly felt loved by that many people. It almost made me cry.
I ate until I felt I was going to explode and then we decided it was time to party. We busted out the beer and the wine and I have to admit that I got fairly tipsy very quickly. It had been a while since I drank so much, since before I found out I was pregnant, and I was feeling it. I didn’t care; this was our wedding and it was going to be awesome.
But soon, it was time for our first dance. Everyone parted the dance floor and all eyes were fixated on us. I was very nervous now, because I wasn’t that used to dancing in front of everyone who was watching that closely, at least not for a while.