by Jo Leigh
She wondered if there’d been a birth certificate in the apartment. If whoever had trashed the place had found it, and if the name on it was Megan Chandler or Megan Strangis. If it was Strangis, then the bad guys knew about Roy’s alias. She was sure that was significant, but she didn’t know why.
“Hailey?” Megan said, tugging on her sweatshirt.
“Yes, honey?”
“Look.” Megan pointed to the picture of a kitten. “She’s Molly and she purrs at night. And Daddy says that when I’m old enough to take care of her, we can get a real kitty.” Megan’s lips pursed and her little eyebrows came down. “I s’pose I can’t get a kitty now.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause I’ll never be old enough to take care of her.”
“What do you mean, sweetie?” Hailey asked, moving closer, her attention completely focused on Megan.
“’Cause I’m going to go to heaven soon.”
Hailey picked Megan up and put her on her lap. She wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. “You’re not going to heaven soon, my love. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re going to live with me. And I know that’s not as good as living with your mommy and daddy, but it won’t be too bad. You’ll see. We’ll be very very good friends. And when we go back home, we’ll pick out a kitty all for you.”
“Will I live in your ’partment?”
“Yes, for a while. Until we move to our apartment. One where you can have your own bedroom.”
“Will Jack live with us, too?”
“No, hon, he won’t. He’s here just for a little while.”
“Why?”
“Because he lives in his own apartment. See, Jack is a policeman. Do you know what a policeman is? He helps people who’ve been hurt. It’s a very hard job.”
Megan seemed to consider this for a long moment. She ran her foot over the edge of a red quilt square, tracing the line up and over. Hailey was amazed at how small that sneaker was. No longer than the width of her palm. Such a tiny thing to hold such huge pain.
“Hailey?”
“Yes?”
“How come Jack walks funny?”
“Because he was hurt. That’s why we were doing exercises today. To help him feel better.”
“I don’t…I mean, you said Jack helps people who get hurt.”
“That’s right.”
“So then you help Jack?”
“We can both help Jack,” Hailey said.
Megan looked at her. “I can’t help. I’m only four.”
Behind them Jack cleared his throat. Hailey turned to look, surprised he wasn’t still on the phone, then turned her attention back to Megan. “Tell you what,” she said. “Why don’t you go sit with Jack and ask him how you can help. I’ll go in the kitchen and fix us all a bowl of ice cream. How does that sound?”
“Good,” Megan said. She climbed out of Hailey’s lap dragging Tottie behind her. She headed for Jack, who’d moved to sit on the couch.
It was hard for Hailey not to laugh when she got a load of Jack’s reaction to her little plan. He looked as though she’d just condemned him to a fate worse than death. Actually, he needed a dose of Megan. Get his mind off his own problems.
Megan got to the couch and climbed up, which was no minor feat for someone smaller than the sofa cushion. Then she scooted over until she was sitting right next to him, her legs not even reaching the edge of the seat.
He looked down, opened his mouth and shut it again.
She looked up and wiped a stray curl from her forehead.
The standoff lasted a good minute.
Finally Jack said, “Hey.”
Megan shifted Tottie on her lap. “Hey.”
“So, uh, you and Hailey were, uh, talking?”
She nodded. “She said you need help.”
“She did?” He glanced at Hailey just long enough to give her the evil eye, then turned back to Megan.
“She’s right. I do.”
“She said I should help you.”
“I see. Did she say how?”
Megan shook her head. “She said you’d tell me.”
“Great.”
“I could carry something.”
“Huh?”
“I could carry something. When you walk around. Then you wouldn’t have to carry it.”
He nodded. “You know, I think that’s exactly what I need. Someone to carry something.”
She sighed, a big old chest-heaver, as if solving this problem had relieved a heavy burden. “I usually carry Tottie.”
“I know.”
“But I don’t have to all the time.”
“That’s nice of you,” Jack said.
“I know.”
He smiled and leaned closer to Megan. “Is Hailey still watching us?” he whispered, loud enough for Hailey to hear.
Megan nodded.
“Isn’t she supposed to be getting us ice cream?”
Megan nodded again.
“All right!” Hailey said, hating to move away. Watching the two of them stirred something deep inside her. Of course, her maternal instincts were in high gear around Megan, but it was watching Jack that gave her this lump in her throat. He was so big he could have picked Megan up with one hand, like a football. And yet he was so tender with her. Maybe out of fear, or maybe because of his good heart. Probably a combination of both.
He didn’t know it, but he’d make a wonderful father. For a boy or a girl. She could see the signs, and it made her wish for a crazy second that Jack could come back and live in her apartment. Megan needed a father. Of course, she’d be okay without one, but it wasn’t the best situation for a child.
She got the ice cream out of the freezer and three bowls from a cupboard. As she scooped out the Rocky Road, she thought about what had happened this afternoon. His lips on hers. Her hands on his back. The sensation of his skin, the feel of his muscled flesh, hadn’t left her. Not through dinner or dish-washing or Megan’s bath or storytime. It hovered inside her. Sense memories. She’d be in the middle of a sentence and she’d suddenly find her hand tingling. Or smell his unique scent, even when he was across the room.
She was attracted to him. Big time. Like she’d never been attracted to anyone before. Ever since she’d seen Megan on his lap back at his place. That had been the moment it changed. But so what? Nothing was going to come of it. Despite the kiss. Despite the electricity between them.
He’d said so.
But why didn’t the butterflies stop? Why did she want to keep looking at him? To catalog each feature, memorize every facet of his face?
Just her luck. Which, as far as men went, was lousy times ten. She’d stayed with Steven too long, even though she’d known he wasn’t a nice man. But the fear of being alone had been stronger than the reality of staying with him. For a while at least. Finally it had been unbearable.
She hadn’t escaped unscathed, though. And that was her biggest fear. That she would repeat her mistakes. That her desire to be close to someone would lead her down the wrong path. That she was as weak as Steven had believed her to be.
What if Jack was like Steven? Their styles were completely different and Jack was much nicer—on the surface. He was grouchier than Steven, but the way he tried so hard with Megan…
What was he like deep down? Seeing Crystal was a clue. He certainly hadn’t made that work. And his apartment! That was a big hint, wasn’t it? Nothing but the barest necessities. More a prison than a home.
She picked up the bowls and took them in to the dining room. Then she looked at the couch. Jack held Tottie up in front of him. Why, she couldn’t fathom. He lowered the doll and handed her back to Megan. She couldn’t hear his words, but Megan’s smile told her he’d done something good.
Just seeing that filled her with warmth. Made her want to touch him. To give him the home he deserved. Hailey McCabe. She tried out the name, weighed the syllables and cadence. It would fit her.
She sighed. In her dreams. This wasn’t a love story and h
e wasn’t her destiny. Circumstances had brought them together, not desire. She’d seen too many movies, that was all. Read too many romance novels.
“Come and get it,” she said, as she put the bowls on the table.
JACK TOOK HIS PILL and waited for Hailey to finish putting Megan to bed. The exercising had him aching in all the old familiar places and a few more besides. But she was right. He did need to try, even though he knew the outcome. Sure, he’d be able to lose the cane in time. But he’d limp forever. He’d have his scars forever. He’d never again be Jack McCabe. Not the Jack McCabe he wanted to be.
The problem, as he saw it, was that while they were hiding out here, Hailey was going to work with him. Touch him. He’d already decided she wasn’t going to give him another massage. Not a chance. While her capable hands had been amazing for his muscles, the rest of him had gone crazy. He’d never really relaxed. He couldn’t. Not while his libido, which had been dormant for so long, kicked into high gear.
God, he wanted her. Wanted her like he had never wanted anyone before. Undoubtedly that was simply because he’d been a monk for so many months. A man feels strange things after a month. After several? He couldn’t be held responsible.
The strangest symptom of all was the desire he felt to know her. Not just in the biblical sense. He was curious about her life. About where she’d come from and what she hoped for. That had never happened before. It confused him and he didn’t like it. Better they keep things impersonal. Once this mess was over, they’d both go back to their real lives. Of course, there was the fact that he didn’t have a life, but that shouldn’t enter into the equation.
It would have been so much easier if he was whole. If he was actively working to solve the case and focused on the one thing he could count on. His job. It had been his whole world for so long that all he was left with now was empty space. Hailey had just walked in at the wrong time, that was all.
He was no psychology expert, but he recognized the signs that his feelings for her were transference. He couldn’t have his work, so he wanted to have the woman. A textbook case. And a no-win situation.
He heard her footsteps. He felt embarrassed, as if she’d be able to tell what he’d been thinking about. If that wasn’t proof he’d gone over the edge, he didn’t know what was.
“She’s out,” Hailey said as she joined him on the couch. She tipped her head from side to side, as if working out kinks in her neck.
“You okay?”
She nodded. “I’m fine. I just wish I could do more for Megan. I don’t like it that her sleeping patterns are so irregular.”
“She’s been through a lot. Give her time.”
“I’d feel better if we were home.”
“Yeah,” he said, achingly aware of how close Hailey was. She hadn’t sat at the other end of the couch. Instead, she was just inches away. Close enough that he could easily touch her thigh.
She’d be something, without that baggy shirt. Without any clothes at all. The woman had curves where curves ought to be. She wasn’t too big, but, thank God, she wasn’t emaciated like many women he knew. He could just imagine the feel of her in his arms—
“So,” she said, breaking into his thoughts, “what did your friend say?”
“Friend?”
She gave him a questioning smile. “Bob Dorran.”
“Oh, yeah. Okay.” He shifted a bit on the couch to hide his uneasiness. “Bob confirmed something I’d heard about. Faraday, for all his public show of charity, is connected.”
She blinked. “To what?”
“Organized crime.”
“The Mafia?”
He nodded. “There’s no proof, but Frank knows people. If he says Faraday’s connected, then he is.”
“So what does that mean?”
“I don’t know. But I think it’s interesting that he’s here.”
“In Houston, you mean?”
“Yep. Setting up new offices. He’s been there for about a month. Spreading the wealth around. The stock in UTI has gone through the roof. Evidently he’s expanding into offshore oil drilling, and he’s working the environmentalists.”
“I still don’t see what it has to do with Roy.”
Jack shook his head, wishing he could tell her more. “I’m going to call Mr. Faraday tomorrow. If he’s mixed up with the mob, then it stands to reason that Roy was, too. I’m thinking Roy crossed someone he shouldn’t have. Maybe borrowed some money he couldn’t pay back.”
“They really do kill people for that?”
He nodded. “You bet.”
“But didn’t you say you saw an unmarked police car at the scene?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“So which is it? The Mafia or the police?”
He shrugged. “For all I know, it’s both.”
“Oh, my.”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
She frowned and studied a spot on the carpet. “Let’s assume that’s it. That somehow some cops are involved with the Mafia and that Roy got himself into enough hot water to get himself killed. It’s clear that the murder didn’t fix the problem. If it had, the apartment wouldn’t have been searched, and Nichols wouldn’t have been there.”
“Right. So Roy had something they wanted. Money. Or information.”
“Which doesn’t explain why the man in my apartment wanted to know where Megan was.”
“Unless they think she knows where the stuff is.”
Hailey looked at him. “She’s four. What could she possibly know?”
“I don’t think it’s the girl they’re after. But something they think she has.”
“The pillowcase,” Hailey said, nodding.
“I don’t think so,” Jack said. “We’ve looked at everything in there so many times.”
“The recipe? Could it be a code?”
“I don’t know. If it is, it’s way beyond me.” He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s the contents of the pillowcase. I think it’s something else. Something we’re missing.”
“Like what?”
Jack shrugged.
“We’ll go over everything again tomorrow,” she said. “When we’ve both had a good night’s sleep. Right now I couldn’t figure out two plus two.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Except that I’m so tired I can’t think straight.”
“You didn’t sleep well last night?”
“You could say that.”
“Why?”
She looked at her hands in her lap. “I had a nightmare.”
“Understandable,” he said, keeping his voice steady. Fighting the urge to hold her.
“I’m scared, Jack. More now than I was before. If it’s the Mafia, that’s big. Really big.” She met his gaze again, her blue eyes so troubled it hurt him. “What if I can’t go home again? I mean ever?”
“This won’t go on forever,” he said. “I won’t let it.”
“What can you do?”
He took a sharp breath as the words stabbed him right in the chest. “The bullet wasn’t to the brain,” he said.
She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I know you’re good at your job. I meant, what can one man do? You have to admit you’re pretty outnumbered.”
“There’s Frank and Bob.”
“Big whoop. That makes three.”
His wounded ego settled down as he realized what she was saying. She was right. Three cops weren’t a hell of a lot. Three hundred cops would be better. But until he knew who was involved, he couldn’t get more help. He’d thought about going to the captain, but even that was dangerous. “We’ll figure it out, Hailey.”
She nodded, but without conviction.
He reached over and took her hand, and he was immediately taken aback by how small and delicate she felt. How could these hands have given him that powerful massage? But he’d have to think about that later. “Listen,” he said. “No matter what, I’ll make sure you and Megan are safe. I won’t let anything happ
en to you.”
She looked at him for a long time, her gaze so steady he felt she was seeing more than just his face. It was as if she could see inside him. Making sure he was telling her the truth. “I believe you,” she said finally.
“Good.” He tried to withdraw his hand, but she held it more tightly, not letting him go.
“Jack?”
“Yes?”
“Would you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Can we just sit here for a little while? Not for long.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She smiled, and her cheeks turned a light pink. “Would you mind if I got a little closer to you?
He wanted to say yes. He minded very much. But he couldn’t. She’d been through so much. All she was asking for was a little comfort. It was the least he could give her.
He gently pulled his hand away, then put it on the back of her neck. “Come on.”
She scooted toward him, just like Megan had this afternoon. And he was just as uncomfortable as he’d been this afternoon, but for a very different reason.
As she snuggled against him and he felt the softness of her body, the struggle began in earnest. The wanting grew stronger as she nuzzled her head against his shoulder until she found the right spot.
He lowered his arm and held her close, tried not to think. Not to wish. Not to need.
He failed.
Chapter Twelve
Hailey woke up thinking about Jack. How he’d held her in his arms with so much tenderness it made her want to weep. And how she finally did weep, thinking about Megan, about the terrible men who wanted to hurt her. And how she’d looked into Jack’s eyes, wanting to be closer still. Wanting to make love with him.
She turned over to check on Megan, but the girl wasn’t in their bed. Hailey threw back the covers and got up, wondering if Jack was already awake, too. She needed to shower, but first, she needed to make sure Megan was all right.
She grabbed her stepfather’s robe from the closet. It was so large she almost wrapped it twice around her. When she left the bedroom, she saw that Jack’s door was still closed, and she heard Megan’s voice in the living room.
Tiptoeing, she went down the hall until she could see Megan on the floor, playing on her quilt. The story hadn’t changed, and Hailey supposed it never would. The little girl finds herself alone, and she goes to the store where she reads her book and looks at pictures and…