Shady Oaks

by Jerry Boyd

  “Yeah, I’ve seen those.”

  Jane said, “We better get you back to Grandma’s. You don’t want to be late for supper. She’s making macaroni and cheese the way you like it, with the cut-up hot dogs.”

  “Okay, Mom. Nice to meet you guys. Thanks for the treatment.”

  Dingus said, “You’re welcome, young man. Come back when you can stay longer.”

  I said, “You have any interest in a piggy-back ride?”

  “Oh boy!”

  I squatted down and he climbed on. I carried him to Jane’s car, and she pulled him off and got him loaded up. She turned to me and said, “Thank you for this, Bob. You’ll never know how much this means to me.”

  “You’re welcome. Glad we could help.”

  She drove off. I turned to Dingus. “Is he good to go, or will he need more help?”

  “The machine was able to edit his genes to remove the problem, and repair the damage it caused. It’ll take a while for him to trust it, and be as active as other boys, but in a year or two, it won’t be anything but a bad memory.”

  “You did good. You deserve a steak.”

  “It was your idea, Bob. They were going to Julie’s tonight before this happened, so don’t try and say it’s my reward.”

  “Will Mickolec be okay with nobody monitoring him?”

  “The machine can comm me if anything it can’t handle comes up, and I can put in new instructions remotely. This new model autodoc is really nice.”

  “We better go get Random, then.”

  She was still busy with reports, but we talked her into finishing them after supper. I asked, “Would it be okay if I started a diagnostic running, so my crew and I know what needs fixing?”

  “That would be fine. Do you think there’s more wrong than just hull damage?”

  “Scanners don’t just go down. There has to be a problem that started it all.”

  “I suppose that’s right.”

  Dingus said, “Young lady, you can squeeze into Bob’s truck, with him and Max, or you can ride Sunshine with me. What’s your preference?”

  “Sunshine? What’s that?”

  We left the garage and Dingus showed her. “Is that safe?”

  I said, “The bike is safe as can be. It’s Dingus you need to worry about.”

  “i don’t believe that. He’s Dingolus Slongum, the most famous Guide who ever lived.”

  Dingus turned a little red. “They have a saying here. ‘Don’t believe the hype.’ The tales they tell about me are only vaguely related to the truth.”

  “Those stories were what got me interested in the Guide.”

  I spoke up, “Dingus groupies. What’s next?”

  They both fiddled with their watches. Random said, “I was not trying to seduce Colonel Slongum!”

  “Sorry. Shouldn’t have implied that you were.”

  By the time we got to Julie’s, John and the ladies were already there. Jane and Greg were with them. Greg came over and hugged my knees. “I got to play Frisbee with Snitz. It was fun! He’s a good dog.”

  “Where is he?”

  “He stayed with Mr. Bailey. Mr. Bailey gets lonesome.”

  I asked Nikki, “Mr. Bailey?”

  “The fellow you and Snitz helped me get out of bed. Snitz is helping him a lot. He even took Snitz for a walk.”

  Then she noticed Random was with us. “Hi Random, I didn’t know you were in town. Is Micky with you?”

  Random answered, “He’s, aah, resting up at John’s place.”

  I put in, “They had some car trouble. Micky hurt his hand. Dingus says it will be fine, as long as he gets some rest.”

  Nikki caught on. “Did anyone call Lyla yet? She would probably want to know, even if you are alright, Random.”

  Random said, “I talked to her after we got in. She said she’s not coming this time, but she hopes to be here for something called ‘paintball’.”

  “That’s not till a week from Sunday. Even Bob can get you going again by then.”

  Greg spoke up, “Be nice to Bob. He’s my friend.”

  Nikki said, “He’s my friend, too. I was just teasing him.”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “No need. It’s good of you to stick up for your friend.”

  We all had supper. If anything, Julie had the cooks putting out even better food than the old management did. When we got up to leave, Greg decided Nikki and I needed more hugs. Jane said, “I can’t remember seeing him with so much pep. It’s wonderful.”

  I said, “Glad we could help.”

  Nikki said, “Go on, hug him. You won’t wear him out. Lord knows I’ve tried.”

  Jane giggled, and gave me a big hug. I caught her looking at Nikki, and Nikki nodded. Once again, Nikki had loaned me out for a kiss. I was still not comfortable with the whole idea, but I couldn’t say I failed to enjoy it.

  “Thanks again, Bob.”

  Nikki said, “I have another surprise for you, Caveman.”

  “I told you once, I’m not doing a Caveman calendar!”

  “No, silly. I’m through for the day. I’m coming home.”

  I picked her up and swung her around. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day, Space Cadet.”

  I asked Max if he could get a ride with somebody, and he said he could. We got in the truck. I asked, “Do we need to pick up Snitz?”

  “I told Mr. Bailey he could stay the night. I figured one time being woken up with an ear lick would get him thinking different.”

  “Probably right about that, but we may have to have a field trip to the pound at this rate.”

  “We ought to raid a kindergarten while we’re at it. You should have seen Greg with Snitz and the old folks.”

  “Greg is something. I hope Dingus got him all squared away.”

  “Him and Leelee in the same place would be something to see, don’t you think?”

  “Your lips to Murphy’s ears. Hush up that kind of talk.”

  “What happened to little Cavemen and miniature Space Cadets as far as the eye can see?”

  “Something you need to tell me, Space Cadet?”

  “No. Just wondering if you’d changed your mind.”

  “Not at all. It’s just beginning to sink in what that entails. We probably need more practice, anyway.”

  “Mmm, practice!”

  My comm chimed with a text. I asked Nikki to read it to me. She said, “It’s from Taz. He says they moved the welding equipment to the old shop and were able to finish the truck. The printer was open, so they just printed the connectors they needed. He wants to know what’s next.”

  “Tell him to load the grav pallet on the new truck, we need to do a pickup when I get in.”

  Nikki asked, “Random and Mickolec’s ride?”

  “Yep.”

  “What actually happened?”

  “Scanner went down. They took a meteor hit, lost pressure. Mickolec didn’t get one of his gloves on. Vacuum damage put him into shock, and Random brought him in.”

  “His suit sealed around his wrist?”

  “Yes. Saved his life, but his hand looked bad.”

  We got home. I kissed Nikki, and said, “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Caveman.”

  I told the boys to hop on, and jumped in the new hauler. I drove to John’s and backed up to the garage. John came out and said, “This is your new retrieval rig?”

  “Yep. I figured to idle the saucer and run it’s stealth all the way home.”

  “Will it fade out part of the truck?”

  “We’ll see, or not.”

  “Ha, ha.”

  Ozzie said, “Boss, could we get a little help here?”

  “Sure Ozzie, what do you need?”

  “We can pick the saucer up, but we need someone else to slide the grav pallet underneath.”

  “Just center it under the saucer?”

  “Yes Boss.”

  They picked it up, and I centered up the pallet. �
�Ease it down, boys.”

  They set it on the pallet. Taz said, “Boss, you messed up. The eye goes toward the truck.” They spun the saucer, and I saw they had added a pulling eye to the grav pallet. “Sorry, Taz. I didn’t see it. My bad.”

  Ozzie and Taz slapped hands. Ozzie said, “I told you we could fool him.”

  I replied, “Wait till paintball. You two are toast.”

  Taz said, “Did we offend, Boss?”

  “No, Taz, you guys are the best crew I could hope for. Even if you are learning how to be ornery.”

  Taz went to the control panel on the side of the truck and tipped the bed. Then he let out the winch. Ozzie hooked it into the eye on the pallet, and said, “Okay, up easy.”

  I said, “Hang on, let’s get stealth going before you do that.”

  “Oops. Good idea, Boss.”

  I went inside, and brought up stealth. I heard Taz through the door, saying “Which way did he go, which way did he go.” He could make a living as a Mel Blanc impersonator. I checked the diagnostics. There was a lot of things over their maintenance intervals. I heard a noise behind me, Dingus’ training kicked in, and I dropped and turned. Random stood there fresh from a shower, about to bash my head. She said,”Mr. Wilson, what are you doing here?”

  “We got an opening to work on your saucer tonight. I didn’t realize you were staying aboard. Sorry.”

  “That’s all right. Let me find some clothes.”

  “Take your time. I’ll be outside.”

  I went back out. John was laughing his buns off. “You could warn a guy. But no, you need your giggle. I see how you are.”

  “You could have asked. Just roll up in your new hauler, gonna drag it off to work on it, don’t even ask if anyone’s on board. You expect me to stand in front of Bob the freight train when he’s running off the tracks? When it’s gonna be this funny? You let the boys pull crap on you, why not me?”

  “Okay, okay. I get it. I did it to myself, and it was well deserved. How many puppies did you want?”

  “Poor Payback. Living in a puppy mill.”

  Random came out. “What are you two babbling about?”

  I said, “Who’s fault it was that I was in your saucer without knowing you were there.”

  “Oh. No harm done, so who cares?”

  “You mind closing the hatch?”

  She hit the button. I said, “Why don’t you ride along. We’ve got plenty of room over at the house, and you won’t have to drag all your stuff out of the saucer.”

  “That sounds efficient.”

  I said, “Haul away, Taz.”

  Taz pulled the pallet up the ramp, and then rotated the bed level. Ozzie got underneath and messed with a switch on the pallet. He crawled out and said, “locked down, Boss. Ready to roll.”

  “Thanks Ozzie. Thanks Taz. You guys get on, and we’ll be on our way.”

  I was worried the whole way home, but there was no traffic. I backed up to the barn, Ozzie and Taz reversed the procedure. I asked, “Do you want the pallet out, or do you want to leave it?”

  Ozzie said, “Just leave it for now, Boss.”

  I asked Random, “Do you have what you need?”

  “I’ll grab a few things.”

  She went aboard, and I said, “Boys, go over this one really well, It looks like it hasn’t been kept up like it should have been.”

  “No problem, Boss.”, Taz said.

  Random came out with a small bag, and we headed to the house. Taz closed the door behind us, and I could hear Clevon Little singing, ‘I Get a Kick Out of You.’

  Random asked, “What’s that?”

  “Their work song.”

  Nikki met me at the door. “I see you found another one.”

  “What can I say? I went to repossess her trailer, and she was still in it.”

  “Come on in, Random. I’ll show you to a room.”

  Nikki came back alone. “Come to bed, Caveman.”

  With no Snitz, it was coffee smell that woke me. I got up and took care of what I needed to. The coffee was calling to me. As I was getting a cup, Joanna said, “I got a text from Topper. He says my car is ready.”

  “It’ll wait till after coffee.”

  Random said, “I got a text from Taz. He says my saucer is ready.”

  “it’ll wait till after coffee.”

  Joanna stuck a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. “Eat this, you look like you need it.”

  After I rejoined the living, I said, “Usually coffee smell wakes Nikki. She must have been really tired.”

  Joanna said, “They’ve been going hard over there to get the place in shape. Everytime I go by, they all seem to be running six ways at once.”

  I asked, “Have they got enough crew to steady things out yet?”

  “They need a few more, but Jane said she was going to call some people today. She seemed to think she could get them to leave their jobs and come to Shady Oaks.”

  “What about you? Do you think it’s getting better?”

  “People playing Frisbee with a dog, instead of stoned out of their gourds watching Vanna turn letters? You better believe it’s a good thing. No one had seen Mr. Bailey out of his room for over a year, till yesterday.”

  “Snitz to the rescue.”

  “Bob and John to the rescue, more like. You boys take care of things.”

  “Ah, shucks, Ma’am. Twarn’t nothing.”

  “I’m gonna catch you washing those contacts one of these days, Bob Wilson!”

  Random asked, “What contacts?”

  I replied, “She means I’m so full of shit my eyes must be brown, and I wear blue contacts to cover it up.”

  She mumbled, “Full of shit”, while she fiddled with her watch. Her face lit up, and she giggled.

  I looked at Joanna. “Ain’t that culture pack wonderful?”

  “Sure is. Let’s go see what your boys cooked up for me.”

  I texted Taz and Ozzie to meet us at the shop for the unveiling. When we got there, Topper was standing out front, waiting on us. He said, “Ma’am, I hope this meets with your approval. I added a few things to the paint scheme.” He ran up the door. The car was low enough I could see the top. It hit me what the package from the fabric store was about. I’d seen lace painting in magazines, but never in person before. Topper had taken it way out there. The roof faded from blue to grey, front to back. The lace pattern faded blue to grey, back to front. The sides of the car had the same blue to grey fade, but with ghost flames instead of lace. Taz played back ‘Lowrider’.

  Joanna said, “It’s so pretty. Thank you boys so much!”

  Ozzie said, “Our pleasure, Ma’am. We do ask one thing, however.”

  “What’s that, Ozzie?”

  “Drive her hard, Ma’am. Drive her hard. She’s built to run.”

  Taz said, “Keys are in it, Ma’am.”

  I handed Joanna the title, signed over to her. I asked, “Do you have cash to take care of what you need?”

  “John took care of that. Even got his fella to build me a driving record so I can get insurance.”

  “Have fun!”

  She fired it up, and did a burnout for Ozzie. It’s a good thing robots aren’t set up to smile. He would have overloaded every servo in his face. She took off, and I turned to Random. She asked, “The display with the noise and smoke, is that a normal part of transportation on your world?”

  “No. It’s a display of the power of the vehicle. It’s her way of saying how happy she is for all the hard work the boys put into building her a powerful and beautiful car. Let’s go see what they did for you.”

  We got to the barn, and met Dee and Dingus. I said, “Oh crap! We put Random in your room last night, didn’t we? I got so flustered, I plumb forgot.”

  Dee said, “No biggie, Bob. What were you flustered about?”

  “Almost getting knocked out cold by a naked woman. Thanks for that unarmed combat course, Dingus. Hard as she swung, I would have been in the ‘doc a day o
r two.”

  Dee said, “Wait a minute, oh, you didn’t check if she was aboard before you started loading her saucer.”

  “Guilty as charged.”

  “John wasn’t there to warn you?”

  “I think he might have pulled something laughing.”

  “You boys.”

  “There’s coffee in the house. Nikki wasn’t up when I left. We need to see what all the boys had to do for Random’s saucer, then we’ll be in.”

  I pulled up the boys’ service log. They had quite a list of things that had been put off, some nearly to the point of failing. Luckily, they either had parts on hand or were able to fabricate parts to bring it up to standard. They had found hull sections on one of our junkers that fit. I asked Random, “How did this craft come to be in such poor repair?”

  “Mickolec doesn’t like to take downtime for such things.”

  “Mickolec doesn’t seem to want to take downtime for much of anything.”

  “I suppose not.”

  We headed back to the house. My comm rang. It was John. “Hey Bob, are the boys still free today?”

  “Yep. They finished up everything last night. What all do you need done?”

  “I’ll text you the list. What do you have on the agenda for today?”

  “I hadn’t got around to starting one, tell you the truth. Something tells me you’ve already taken care of that for me.”

  “Jane has a few experienced people who would be more than happy to come to work for us if they didn’t have to care for sick relatives. You think we could do them some good?”

  “I see a problem with your plan. We only have one ‘doc that isn’t in a saucer. Are you going to read all these people in?”

  “The ‘doc itself is going to be hard to keep quiet. The power requirements aren’t that high, though. We could run another couple on that core in my basement, and I want at least one for Shady Oaks.”

  “We would have a hard time selling a saucer with no ‘doc in it. That many units will move a couple airframes from salable to scrap. We could pull them temporarily, and put them back in once you’ve got a solid crew.”

  “We need to keep Nikki’s saucer and the freighter ready to fly. I’d like to keep that newer model autodoc mobile. Outside of that, do whatever needs to happen.”

  “You forgot about the spare that belongs to the Guide. Can’t use that one either. I’ll get with Dingus and see how many we can run on one core. Wish I had a box body on that other truck. It would make moving all this equipment easier.”