“Kids?”
“No. I would have told you by now if I had kids.”
“Of course.” I purse my lips, wondering if I’m firing off too many questions. “Why do you sound so American? I noticed most people here have a French accent when they speak English, but you don’t. I assume the school system isn’t bilingual?”
“No, but my father is American, so we spoke English at home, and I studied in Washington. Art history and literature,” Syd adds. “I couldn’t get enough of college, so I went for two degrees.” She laughs. “Must have been all the pretty girls there.”
“And then you ended up being a tattoo artist?” I quickly wave a hand when I recognize how that must have sounded. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that being a tattoo artist isn’t a good career choice, it just seems an unusual one for someone who’s highly educated.”
“Maybe. But inking is a form of art too. I combine what I’ve learned with what inspires me to create my designs, and I want them to be meaningful. I’m interested in knowing things, but I never had a desire to work in commerce. I just want to have fun, and teaching or sitting in an office is not my idea of fun.” She chuckles and shoots me an apologetic look. “No offence, I think it’s super sexy that you’re high up in a big company and working in finance obviously suits you, but it’s not for me and I doubt it ever will be.”
I laugh, not taking offence in the slightest. “Each to their own. I like my job but yes, I get why you’re not into the corporate vibe. It’s not for everyone and it can suck the life out of you if you let work overtake your life. That used to happen to me sometimes, but since my divorce I’m enjoying life more; I let go when I get home now and focus on other things.” I chuckle. “Like reading lesbian erotica and calling you every night.”
We eat our breakfast and talk about our parents and it seems so normal to sit here in bed with her, sharing personal stories. The bedroom door is open, and I keep glancing into the hallway, thinking of that locked room. I remind myself that it’s none of my business, that she doesn’t owe me an explanation, yet I can’t help wondering what lies behind it.
“Tell me, Syd, because I just have to know. Is your sex dungeon in that room?”
“What? The one that’s locked? You really can’t let it go, can you?” Syd laughs and shakes her head. “Not quite. But it is the place where all my fantasies come true.” She decides to leave it at that, and now my curiosity has gone through the roof.
“That sounds intriguing.”
Syd frowns and bites her lip, and I silently hope she’s going to tell me after all. But then she shakes her head and laughs it off. “Believe me, it’s not what you think.” Changing the subject, she asks: “Want to have a shower with me?”
18
We walk down Rue du Petit-Champlain, where she lives, and enter a maze of narrow streets, passing beautiful churches, galleries, courtyards and quaint shops inside the walled city. The old cobblestone streets are a little hard to master on my heels, so I buy a pair of black lacquered loafers that look decent with my black slacks and red, silk blouse. When I change my shoes, Syd is taller than me and it’s nice when she wraps her arm around me and pulls me in.
As we meander down the antique and art district in the lower town, she acts as tourist guide, giving me a brief overview of the history and architecture of the city. She’s clearly passionate and highly knowledgeable about her home city, and I absorb everything she tells me like a sponge. She’s fascinating to listen to, and even more fascinating to look at. Her jeans and old ragged gray sweater accentuate the carefree, sexy tomboyish vibe she gives off and, as we walk, I can see other women eyeing her up, perhaps envying me.
“I like your city,” I say. “It reminds me of Paris; I lived there a year, for work.”
“Is that why you speak French? I heard you talking to the sales lady in the shoe store. It’s pretty impressive, not many Americans speak French.”
I laugh. “It’s hardly impressive. But I get by just enough to survive, and I understand a little.”
Syd nods, and listens intently as I tell her about my time there. It was before I met Brian, my second year in my first job. Everything was so exciting back then, and I think of it fondly. She seems genuinely interested in my stories, and asks me lots of questions, taking my hand while we walk. It’s nice to just walk and talk; it’s simple, relaxing, and holding her hand is definitely something I could get used to. The way her thumb lightly brushes my skin, letting me know she appreciates the contact. I’m not uncomfortable in public with her. Quite the opposite; I’m proud to be by her side and it’s nice to feel close to someone again.
“I like LA too,” Syd says as we sit down for a coffee. “It’s not somewhere I’d necessarily want to live, but it’s fun and I’m a big fan of sunny beaches.”
“Then maybe you should come and visit me in return.” I feel myself blush as I say it and I’m aware of the goofy grin that’s plastered all over my face.
“I’d like that.” She stretches her long legs out under the table and brushes a foot along my calf. The way she flirts with me sends me insane, and I can’t get enough of her touch. “So, was that an invite?”
“It was.”
“Good. Because you know I’ll come.” Her blue eyes lock with mine and I know I could sit here and stare into them forever. “I really like you, Val.”
“I really like you too,” I say, and realize we need to talk about this. “Maybe it’s a little early for this conversation, but what are we actually doing? I didn’t expect this to be anything more than sex.” I hesitate. “But I’m having a really good time with you. In and out of bed.”
“Me too. And I want to see you again.” Syd’s expression turns serious. “I feel like we click. Technically, we couldn’t be more different, but we seem to work naturally, you know? I never really thought of anything beyond sex either, especially since you told me you were straight.” She arches an eyebrow. “Or at least you thought you were, but I’m not so sure about that.”
“No, you’re right. I’m not so sure anymore either. Whatever I am, the lines have definitely blurred.” I would never have doubted my sexuality if I hadn’t met Syd and I would have put my love of lesbian erotica books down to some weird fetish. But I did meet her, and here I am. “Why did you approach me online?” I ask, even though I’ve asked the same question before.
“I found you attractive. Your profile picture, I mean,” Syd clarifies. “And we read the same books. When you told me about your favorite Sadie London book, that kind of turned me on, so I wanted to chat to you in private.” She bites her lip and pauses for a moment before she continues. “Sadie London writes about a lot of things we haven’t done together.”
I take in a quick breath and my lips part as I process what she’s saying. “Yes, she does.” My words are a near whisper, and I feel my body heat up, arousal coursing through my veins.
“Have you ever been tied up before?” She asks then, lowering her voice. The coffee shop is busy, and I look around to make sure no one is listening in.
“No.” There’s a long silence between us in which we’re undoubtedly having the same indecent fantasies.
“Would you like me to tie you up?” Syd’s eyes never leave mine during our steamy exchange, her profound stare setting me on fire, and at the same time scaring the hell out of me.
“Yes,” I whisper, trying to control my breathing. The thought of being at Syd’s mercy—submissive and yielding to her touch—turns me on like nothing ever has. I’ve read about bondage, fantasized about it, but I never thought I’d be in the position where I’d consider it, and even agree to it. It’s as if we have an understanding now, and silent communication passes between us until she finally speaks again.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” I shift in my seat, thinking I should really respond with something other than a monosyllabic answer. “Even though I don’t really know you…” I pause and take a deep breath. “Yeah, I trust you.”
&
nbsp; “Good.” Syd licks her lips, her eyes lighting up as her mind goes elsewhere, distracted for a beat before she snaps back. “Then that’s what I’ll do. Tonight.”
19
After a wonderful walk and a couple of stops for coffee and lunch, we get back late in the afternoon. There’s tension in the air as we step into her apartment, but of the good kind, and after our talk, that was hours ago by now, my body is tight with anticipation.
Syd seems kind of self-conscious too, as we linger in the hallway. “I haven’t been entirely honest with you,” she says out of nowhere.
“What?” My eyes narrow in confusion as I observe her. Syd’s made me swoon, I’ve given myself to her and I’ve been nothing but open, and now she’s telling me there’s something I should know? I’m not sure I like where this is heading. My mind and body are on high alert as she sorts through her key ring, presumably looking for the key that opens the door. “What do you mean?”
“When you told me you’d never been with a woman before… that was probably the right time to tell you I had a secret too, but I didn’t and I’m sorry about that.” Syd looks at me intently. “I had to meet you first because I wasn’t sure if I could trust you, so I really hope you understand because what I’m about to show you needs to stay between us.” She takes my hand as if preparing me for what I’m about to see and now I’m seriously getting worried that there might actually be a person in there, shackled to the wall. “But if we’re going to do what we discussed,” she continues, “there has to be mutual trust and you need to know the important stuff about me too.”
When she unlocks the door, I hold my breath as I enter and prepare myself for anything. Nothing could have surprised me more though, when Syd switches on the light and shows me a rather dull looking office. There’s a storage cupboard, desk, a leather office chair, a laptop and shelves full of books. A couple of boxes are stacked up against the back wall but other than that, there are only a bunch of plants and some framed photographs on the walls.
“I don’t understand… Why do you keep this locked?”
Syd nods toward the bookshelves. “Look closer.”
I walk past the rows of books on the wall-mounted shelves and see that they’re all Sadie London books. She has at least five copies of each title, which is a little weird. Then I notice the framed pictures are book covers, also by Sadie London. “Is this some kind of shrine? Are you obsessed with her?” I ask. “Because as much as I like her books, even I’m a little uncomfortable seeing this.”
Syd laughs and shakes her head. “No, I’m not obsessed. But you like her books, right? Within the genre anyway,” she adds. “I have no idea what else you read.”
I nod, confused as to where this conversation is going.
“Well, the thing is… I’m Sadie London.”
There’s a silence while I process what she’s telling me. Is she making this up? But then why would she do that? “You?” I ask incredulously.
“Yes. I use the book clubs to get honest opinions on my books. I’m a member of a couple, I have been for years. Sadie London is my pen name and Sydney Heller is my real name, which I use for the chat groups.” Syd looks worried as she fixes her eyes with mine. “But I never expected to meet someone like you on there.”
At that, I tilt my head and my lips pull into a small smile. I understand why she couldn’t tell me; I wouldn’t trust my secret with someone I’ve never met before either. It still takes a moment before it sinks in that Syd’s the reason I started reading lesbian erotica in the first place, and I’m now in her apartment, after what can only be described as the best night of my life. It’s like fate threw me into this situation. “It’s okay,” I finally say. “I get why you didn’t tell me, but I’m glad you have now. So, you’re really Sadie London?” Now there’s another big question on my mind—one that I need to know the answer to. “Do you make a habit of having sex with your readers?”
“No, I never do this.” She points between us and something about her voice tells me she’s speaking the truth. “Only with you. No one apart from my parents, brothers and a handful of friends know I write, and I never invite people I don’t know into my private space. But with you… I guess I had a good feeling about you, and I couldn’t exactly put you up in a hotel now, could I?”
I feel honoured that I’m one of the few to know this about her, but then more questions enter my mind. “When you said you needed to get inspired… Have you been using me for research purposes?”
“No, I’ve been using you for my pleasure, just like you’ve been using me for yours. And yes, you’ve inspired me—I mean, how could you not—but there’s nothing wrong with getting inspired by pleasure.”
I nod because she has a point. I’ve had more pleasure these past twenty-four hours than I can handle and frankly, I’ve never felt so sexually satisfied. It also doesn’t help that I find her more fascinating now, and my head can’t seem to stop replaying the steamy chapters I’ve read over and over, knowing that they came from her mind. They’re her thoughts, her fantasies, and I’m here to make them come true. “Okay. Your secret is safe with me,” I say, lowering my gaze to her lips. I want to kiss her, but something tells me I should wait. It’s like there’s been an even bigger power shift and I feel like I need to leave everything up to her from here on in.
“Thank you.” Syd lets out a deep sigh of relief and shoots me a grateful glance. “I’m glad you understand.” Her eyes darken, and she licks her lips, no doubt a lot of things running through her mind, now that we’ve got this out of the way. For a moment, I think she’s going to take me right there and then, but instead she composes herself and opens the storage cupboard taking out a large, black box. “Are you ready to go into the bedroom?”
20
I’m lying down in the middle of the bed, listening to my own heartbeat. My pulse is racing; I can feel the vein in my neck pumping with adrenaline. Syd has stripped me down and I’m only wearing my black, lace panties. We haven’t kissed and other than undressing me, she hasn’t touched me. Syd, who is still fully clothed, is calm and seems to know exactly what she’s doing. I watch her place the black box on the floor next to the bed and take out two leather cuffs with a piece of long rope hooked through a D-ring on top of the strap.
“May I?” It’s the first thing she’s said to me since we entered the bedroom. Everything happened in silence, and it’s like we’re partaking in some secret ritual. “If you want me to stop at any point, just say ‘red’ and I’ll untie you immediately, okay? I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to find out what you like.”
I nod and hold out my hand, allowing her to lock me in the buckled cuff and then secure my arm to the bedpost. Then she walks around the bed and repeats the action before giving the rope a quick final tug. She steps back, taking me in and I can see that she’s incredibly turned on by me lying here naked and with my arms spread wide. I am too, and my heart starts pounding even faster when I realize I can’t free myself.
“Are you okay?” Syd strokes my face and looks into my eyes.
“Yes.” I sound like I’m out of breath, my chest is rising and falling fast. I’m trapped, but I know she’ll let me go if I tell her to. An ache starts in my pussy when I see she has two more cuffs, but for now, she just places them on the bed next to me, so I can get used to the idea, I assume. She looks me over once more and reaches out to run her hand over my breasts. Never taking her eyes off mine, she pinches one of my nipples and holds it, then pinches harder until I flinch and suck in a quick breath through my teeth. My eyes are wide with surprise and I’m trying to figure out whether I like it or not. I think I do, because I want her to do it again.
Syd repeats the action with my other nipple, and now that I know what to expect, the reward is a flash of heat that strikes me between my legs, making me moan. She doesn’t ask me if I like it; she can tell by my reaction that I do. Her hand slides down over my ribcage and my belly, then stops at the edge of my panties. I jerk my hips up, wanti
ng her to continue, but she simply smiles and steps away, pleased with my reaction to her teasing.
Reaching into the box again, she takes out a brand-new black riding crop, removes it from the packaging and holds it up for me to see.
Again, my body reacts with a feverish need and I nod, letting her know I want this—or at least I want to find out if I do. The soft leather of the crop tickles my skin as she traces it along my face and neck, then over my collarbone and my breasts, teasing my nipples. I’m in two minds; loving the rush of arousal its touch gives me but also scared of what’s to come. Just when I start easing into the caress of the crop, thinking this is going to be simple, she rapidly raises it and strikes the side of my breast. My chest shoots up and I take in a quick breath, tugging at my restraints. Instinctively, I want to put my hand there to protect myself but my bindings prevent that. It doesn’t really hurt, but I hadn’t expected it and so I tense up, preparing myself for the next strike. Syd stops to take me in, decides I’m okay and does it once more, a little harder this time.
“Fuck!” I yelp, more out of shock than pain. It stings a little, but it’s a nice sting that leaves a warm glow on my breast. I note that I’m highly turned on and my pussy is dripping wet. I like this.
“Hold it.” Syd places the crop between my teeth and it’s a little uncomfortable, but I like the taste of fresh leather against my tongue. She moves along the bed to slowly pull down my panties, her movements careful, handling me like I’m a porcelain doll. The thought of her seeing how wet I am makes me quiver and another silent moan escapes my mouth when she stares between my legs, the corners of her mouth tugging upward. She tosses my panties on the floor and bends over me before she takes the crop back, reflecting my thoughts: “You’re so into this.”
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