by Annie Weir
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well the first mistake was just that. She’d dropped a note under her desk and not seen it. The last two were never found.’
‘Anita, it’s not like you to talk like that.’
I am in a quandary now. Do I reveal myself, albeit a bit late, or keep quiet and hope they never know I’m here? I hear the door open again and their voices disappear out into the corridor. Well, well, well! She’s openly blaming me now. That’s a turn up for the books. I didn’t think she was that bright. I wait for a couple of minutes to give them time to get away then go to the canteen for a coffee. When I go to start my shift I give Maureen my best smile and ask if there is anything in particular she would like me to do.
‘Just count money, please,’ she says, and doesn’t smile back.
Monday 18th January 2010
Maureen has been off today but I saw her come into the store at ten o’clock. She met the shop steward outside and they had a brief conversation before going to the offices upstairs. I wonder what that can be about. She won’t like it, of course, but they can’t prove anything against her because she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. I don’t know how long they keep her in the Personnel office.
At Spanish class tonight Joanna sits with me as usual but I think she is a bit quiet. I hesitate before mentioning it, but at coffee break I ask if she’s OK. She gives me a forced smile and says yes. I don’t want to enquire too closely in case Gaynor hasn’t said anything about last Wednesday. I will be very surprised if I find she hasn’t but you never know.
‘Did you have a nice day off last Thursday?’ I ask.
‘Yes. Actually it was Ricky that was asked out but I had to accompany him. We got taken to the coast. It was freezing but good fun. Nice to be picked up and dropped off in a warm car for a change.’
She obviously doesn’t want to discuss it anymore and looks relieved when Senor Rossi comes to bring us back into the classroom. We are doing transport tonight so she is able to tell us all in Spanish that she went to the coast with her son in a car. I say that I was taken home in a taxi last Wednesday after a meal in town. We are all making such good progress.
At nine o’clock she says goodbye (ciao actually) and disappears without any further conversation. I’ll just have to play a waiting game on this. I can do that. It’s my strong point.
Wednesday 20th January 2010
Dinner at Ken’s tonight. Why did I agree to this? I text him early in the day to say that I’m going to order a taxi to bring me home, and to ask him what time he thinks would be right. I hope he picks up on the fact that it is to bring me home, and not us.
He texts back, ‘I can drive u back.’
I text him back, ‘No, it’s fine. Just say what time.’
There is a delay before I get my answer. I expect he is consulting with family. I hope he isn’t going to be grumpy about it.
‘10. OK?’
‘OK. Thanks.’ I refuse to do text-y stuff like ‘thnx’ or ‘cul8er’. I know it’s quicker to do ‘u’ like Ken just did but really, for the sake of two more letters? I go out for a walk, just for something to do. No point in dwelling on the Ivy Shipton thing. I thought some people were giving me funny looks at work yesterday but that could be for several reasons. Maureen is obviously accusing me of setting her up, I am going out with one of the managers, I was nearly in a fight in town last week, I am allegedly a widow; they can take their pick if they want a gossip. Oh yes, it might be because I took a BMW for a test drive last Thursday afternoon. Someone’s bound to know about that, after all, there is nothing I can do in Carlisle that is private. I only did it for something to do. I was a bit worried once I was there that they might have my name on a database and refuse to let me take a car out. If I’d thought of that before I would have gone to the Mercedes garage instead. That’s a bit of a trek by public transport from here; maybe an Alpha which is next door to the BMW garage. It doesn’t matter now. I test drove a 1 Series; Sports version, of course. It was lovely. I will have money again one day; I have to.
At six-thirty Ken comes to pick me up. I considered having a drink for Dutch courage before he arrived but I have learned over the last few months that it is better to stay sober and keep my wits about me. I dare say there will be wine with dinner. I ate some toast so I don’t need to drink on an empty stomach, not that I’ll have much. I’ll make up for it when I get back here on my own. I haven’t arranged to meet Joanna tomorrow so I’ll probably stay in bed for half the day anyway.
Ken drives through town and out towards his parents’ house off London Road. He pulls into a lay-by and I think he is going to kiss me. It’s like being a teenager. He doesn’t, though.
‘Judith,’ he says, ‘I wanted to drive you home later to talk about Maureen, off the record, you know.’
‘About her accusing me of setting her up?’
‘How did you know that? Has she said something to you?’
‘No. I overheard Anita and Sal talking about it in the locker room. They didn’t know I was there, and I was too embarrassed and upset to tell them. I just heard a snatch of their conversation then I had to go and work with Maureen for an hour before her shift finished. I should have told you, Ken, but I was so upset. I didn’t know what to do.’
‘You should have told me, silly.’ He puts his arm around my shoulders.
‘I didn’t want to get her into any more trouble. I saw her outside with the shop steward on Monday and guessed what was going on.’
‘Yes, well, that was inevitable after the last episode. There was no excuse then; it wasn’t busy and there were no relief staff in. It was just the experienced people.’
‘What’s going to happen to her?’
‘Well, nothing’s been proved so nothing except that she’s being watched. She’s a bundle of nerves, and blaming you is just making everyone think worse of her.’
I do my best shocked look. ‘Everyone? Who’s everyone?’
‘Well, Mary M and the personnel manager.’
‘Oh my God!’
‘No, it’s OK. Nobody at all is blaming you. Nobody; well, except Maureen herself. I promise you that, Judith. I just thought you should know about it, and know that nobody believes anything she’s saying.’
‘Oh my God,’ I say again a bit more faintly. ‘Poor Maureen.’
‘Poor Maureen, nothing,’ Ken says firmly. ‘Come on, let’s go and meet my family. I could smell dinner cooking before I left.’
Friday 22nd January 2010
Today is the first day that Maureen and I have been alone together in the cash office for ages; certainly the first time since I heard about the outrageous allegations she has been making. I think it’s time for a little confrontation.
‘Maureen, can I have a word about something?’
‘I’d rather not right now. I’m busy.’
‘Well, we’re nearly done and Sal will be here soon. I wanted to ask you something in private.’
She avoids my eyes. ‘Well? What is it?’
‘I have heard a little rumour that you are blaming me for the missing money.’
‘Not exactly.’
‘I’ve told you before; if you have a problem with my work I want you to tell me. I like to do a good job. Actually I need to do a good job. I thought I was doing a good job in here.’
‘Your work is fine, Judith, you know that.’
‘What is it then? How is the missing money my fault if my work is OK?’
‘I don’t know,’ she says, and then suddenly finds some of her old fighting spirit, ‘but be sure that I will find out.’
Oh, this is more like it. I prefer a fight to the sulks. There is nothing more annoying than someone having a nervous breakdown before your eyes. Bring it on!
The buzzer cuts through our moment of silence and Maureen jumps a mile. My
, my, we are on edge, aren’t we? I get up to let Sal in but Maureen gets to the door release button before me.
‘I’ll do it. You finish your work.’
Monday 25th January 2010
The store really is very quiet. Maureen and I work silently. She is still edgy but there have been no more mistakes, and she has taken my advice and started spot-checking everyone’s work. I ask whether I should do hers, just so that we have covered everything. The look she gives me!
‘No thanks, Judith,’ she says, ‘I have already asked Anita to check mine.’
‘She’s not in today,’ I pick away.
‘Oh, I forgot about that. Sal can do it then.’
‘That’s a good idea,’ I say, mainly because she dislikes it as much when I agree with her as when she perceives criticism. ‘Better really, because she hasn’t been here all morning.’ It’s all for nothing, of course. I’m not going to do anything else. I know when to stop, and I am if not happy, at least fairly content with my lot at the moment. Now that I have firmly shifted the power-base in here, we can all find our rightful places.
Joanna seems a bit brighter at Spanish tonight. We move onto deeper subjects than eating, travelling and public holidays and find ourselves talking about the recession. To be fair, we don’t know a lot about it in English, but we discuss the jobs situation in Cumbria and the price of houses. Senor Rossi tells us about the price of houses in Spain, and how it might be a good time to buy as a lot of English people are selling up. I look interested but know the state of my bank balance. When my mother dies I will inherit half her house and savings, if there are any left after Mill View has taken their fees. I know I should think about doing something more lucrative than working in the cash office, but don’t seem to have the motivation. Contentment is a strange feeling, and not one I am used to.
At tea break Joanna asks me, in Spanish, whether I am still thinking about buying somewhere in Spain. I say no, but am thinking about buying somewhere in Carlisle. I say it because it seems an easier story to maintain but actually feel as though I mean it. What on earth is happening to me?
Alison asks whether anyone is going for a drink after the class, and Joanna says no because she is being picked up straight afterwards. I look at her but she doesn’t offer any further explanation. A few people say yes, and I do too.
Friday 29th January 2010
Maureen tells us that our refurbishment will take place on Tuesday night next week. Tuesday is a quiet day and she has arranged for two of the part time staff to come in earlier to help with packing files and paperwork, and moving everything that we can do without in the afternoon and evening to a storeroom. One of the security staff will come in during the evening shift to unscrew table legs and remove chairs, those being the last things to go. The new furniture and shelves will be put up overnight and someone will be in all night to move our things back in as the furniture men finish. She has it all organised and I simply offer my help if any should be required.
‘Thank you, Judith,’ she says, ‘but I think I have covered everything.’
‘OK,’ I nod, ‘but just say if you change your mind.’
Chapter 10
Hexham, January 2009
Thursday 1st January 2009
Judith drove up to Mill View after lunch. Her mother had been moved back in as the hospitals always try to empty beds before the New Year’s Eve onslaught. Fiona and Rosie had gone for lunch but Judith felt she couldn’t bear it. It was a nice enough afternoon for them all to have a walk around the grounds as long as they wrapped up warmly. There would be afternoon tea and biscuits then she could leave with a clear conscience. She braced herself for the ordeal that was getting through the security doors.
‘Hi Judith. Tina wants to see you before you go through.’ It was one of the staff; one who knew everybody’s business and Judith smiled through gritted teeth as she thanked him.
‘Come in Judith,’ said Tina, ‘I need to make you aware of something.’
Judith had the feeling that she had been summoned to an interview with her head teacher. She sat down and waited for the telling-off.
‘If you are to be a named person on your mother’s contact list, and especially the first next of kin, we need to be kept informed of your whereabouts and availability,’ she launched straight in.
‘Tina, I merely took off for a week’s holiday,’ she said trying to keep her voice light and even.
‘Yes, so I believe. Your mother had a nasty fall. It could have been a lot worse. I have decided that I am going to change our records and have Fiona as the first point of contact for us.’
Bloody cheek, Judith thought, but took time to consider before answering. She decided to be nice. ‘I think you’re right actually, Tina. Please do so.’ Ha! Now it would seem as though she was ordering Tina to do it.
‘I already have. I just wanted you to know.’
‘Oh, OK, thank you. I’ll go and see my mother now, if you don’t mind.’
‘No, of course I don’t mind. This is her home. Please feel free to see her whenever you both wish.’
‘Thank you,’ Judith said again, wondering why she still felt that she was in trouble and not completely in control of the situation.
‘They’re all in the lounge.’
‘Thank you.’ God, I must stop thanking that woman.
Monday 5th January 2009
Judith and Helen were back at work, their first day working together since Judith’s holiday. They exchanged pleasantries about holidays and thanked each other for the gifts. Judith asked Helen to make some coffee before they started work on the business of the forthcoming week.
‘I’ve put the advert in the paper to try to drum up more clients,’ Helen said, ‘I did the same one that you did before Christmas.’
‘Yes, good. I’ll ring round the people I met at Chloe’s Christmas drinks as well. And there’s a new course for business start-ups at the Enterprise Centre next week; I’ll see if I can go and give a talk to them.’
‘Good idea. Shall I make up a leaflet for you to hand out?’
God, this woman thinks of everything, thought Judith, but then again I suppose I have left her with nothing to do for a few days. ‘Yes please, that would be really useful. I must see who I should have rung the week I went away; some of them are bound to be upset.’
‘Some rang here and I dealt with them so you don’t need to.’ Helen went through the list and ticked the ones Judith didn’t need to contact. Judith noticed that James’s was one of them. She took the list from her, along with the files that needed to be worked on during the week and queries that needed her attention. There was nothing of any note to worry about.
‘That’s great, thanks Helen. You are truly efficient.’
Helen smiled. ‘I’m glad you think so,’ she said and left to draft some leaflets for Judith’s talk.
Judith worked on two clients’ accounts during the morning and made some placatory phone calls. She waited until Helen had gone out for lunch before looking at the ones she said she had already dealt with. She watched out of the window until Helen had walked around the corner to the town centre then went through to the filing cabinet. Along with James’s, another one of the people ticked had a green sticker and the last one had a red one. She called Stuart James first.
‘Hello Stuart. It’s Judith Dillon here. I owe you an apology for not calling you the week before Christmas.’
‘No problem in the end,’ he said, ‘your assistant helped me out with a query.’
‘OK good. Nothing I need to get involved in?’
‘No, she was fine. Very knowledgeable, actually. You’ve got a good one there.’
‘Yes, she is a treasure. Well, as long as you’re OK now.’
‘Fine, thanks. See you soon.’
So, thought Judith, knowledgeable about acco
unts is she? And there was me thinking I’d employed her for her secretarial skills. She dialled the next number on her list. It was the other green-sticker company which was a bed and breakfast business just outside of town.
‘Bluebells B and B,’ came Sally Fisher’s sing-song voice down the phone. Judith had known Sally for many years.
‘Sally, it’s Judith. How are you? I owe you an apology for not getting back to you before Christmas.’
‘It’s fine, Ju, it would have waited. I just wanted some advice about something.’
‘It must have been more than that if you rang to chase me up; or were you bored and wanted someone to talk to?’
Judith was joking. She knew that Sally had three daughters who had all had babies in the last couple of years and who all took advantage of her. ‘You are joking! When do I have time to get bored? Anyway I didn’t chase you up; your assistant phoned to see whether she could help.’
‘And could she?’
‘Yes, thanks. All sorted.’
‘Excellent. I’ll let you get on, then. How many are you looking after today?’
‘Just one this morning, but expecting another to be dropped off at any minute. Bye.’
So, Helen had rung her; even more interesting. She called the last one, the one with the red sticker. When Judith finally got to speak to the Managing Director, he didn’t know anything about a phone call before Christmas. Very strange.
Thursday 8th January 2009
Judith hated supermarket shopping, and especially on a Thursday evening. Usually she did it earlier in the week or earlier in the day but it seemed sensible to call in on her way back from Mill View. She was deciding whether to buy a steak or stick with chicken when a familiar face pointed to a marbled sirloin steak.
‘We had that last weekend. It was delicious.’
‘Hello Lennie,’ said Judith, then deciding to get straight to the point, ‘I am so sorry to have lost you as a client.’