Judith Wants To Be Your Friend

by Annie Weir

  The doctor wrote a prescription. ‘These are very mild,’ she said, ‘but don’t exceed the dose. If they’re not working for you, come straight back.’

  ‘Am I going mad? She’s just a local business woman, after all. I hardly know her really.’

  ‘Not mad, but it is making you anxious. You’ve discussed the boundaries you want to keep with the relationship so make sure you stay within them. These tablets will help you to keep it all in perspective, then you’ll feel better able to deal with it yourself.’

  Dr. Ellis reflected on the consultation after surgery with her colleague. She was worried because it was strangely reminiscent of a conversation she had had with Alison Hedges the year before. Shortly afterwards Alison had moved away from Hexham.

  ‘Where do we stand ethically on this one?’ she asked the senior partner.

  ‘Impossible situation,’ he replied, ‘we can’t break anyone’s confidence. And anyway, what would you say to Judith Dillon? You’re frightening people; stop it. She doesn’t appear to harm anyone.’

  ‘Not physically, no, but we can’t let her go round frightening people.’

  ‘There is nothing we can do. Look after your patient, that’s the best that you can do.’

  She didn’t say it, but she thought she might do some research into similar cases. Maybe there was something she could do.

  Friday 23rd January 2009

  Chloe hated the dark evenings walking down to the station. The sooner she moved into town the better. She set the burglar alarm and switched off the lights in the shop. Before setting off she had a surreptitious look up and down the road. No Judith. Time to go now. She would be a bit early for the train today but she needed to vary her time of leaving.

  What am I doing? she thought, I need to keep the shop open regular hours. I can’t afford to harm the business. Never mind, I have to do it for now anyway. She took a deep breath, locked the front door and ran across the road and into the lane that led down past the car park to the station.

  Judith appeared as if from nowhere and fell into walking beside her.

  ‘Good day today?’

  ‘Yes, look, Judith. I know what I said the other day, but please leave me alone. Completely I mean. No more lunches. No more browsing. Nothing. Please, just leave me alone.’ Her voice had been getting louder with every word and a couple turned around.

  ‘Everything alright, ladies?’ said the young man.

  ‘Yes, fine. Thank you,’ said Chloe.

  ‘Mind your own business,’ snapped Judith at the same time.

  Chloe took another deep breath as instructed by Dr. Ellis and thanked her silently for the tablets that at least stopped her shaking and crying. She smiled at the couple again. ‘Thanks.’

  Wednesday 28th January 2009

  Judith despaired at the standard of applications for the post of her secretary. She chucked them into the tray to look at again later. Maybe they would improve if she ate something. She had intended to make sandwiches to bring to work every day to save money but hadn’t managed it for more than two days. She walked across to the bakery and stood patiently in line. The person getting served was three ahead of her and wearing a thick woollen hat and scarf. As she turned round she saw it was Chloe. Surely she would at least say hello. Judith opened her mouth to speak and tried to catch her eye. Chloe’s eyes looked blank, almost as though she didn’t recognise her. She walked past without speaking.

  Chapter 11

  Carlisle, February 2010

  Monday 1st February 2010

  At Spanish tonight Joanna seems to be back to her normal self. That’s good. Whoever this person is with the car, I think they have been having a bad effect on her. We all go for a drink afterwards then she and I stop for a chat before going our separate ways.

  ‘Park on Thursday?’ she asks, ‘Or are you bored to tears with that routine?’

  ‘Not bored at all. It’s lovely to see Ricky looking after the ducks that nobody else likes, well according to him, anyway.’

  ‘Yes, and he’ll be going to school full time soon so we won’t have our Thursdays off together. I’ll be able to get on with finishing my OU course instead, so I suppose that’s the silver lining.’

  ‘How long have you been doing it?’

  ‘I started a marketing degree after a gap year, at nineteen, but got pregnant in the final year so came home. I’m really just finishing it.’

  I privately think that I wouldn’t have given up just for that. Loads of people carry on studying when they’re pregnant; even when I was at uni ten years earlier. It was a nuisance actually; we all had to work round them. That just carries on into the workplace, though. Time off for any minor ailment the little darlings fall prey to.

  ‘Oh, sorry, what did you say? I was miles away.’

  ‘I said I was really ill. My blood pressure was dangerously low. They said I almost died and had to have complete bed rest.’

  ‘Oh my God! Poor you.’ I take back all that I thought just now. ‘Anyway our buses will be here in a minute; better go.’ In truth I am starting to freeze to the spot. We say goodnight in Spanish and walk briskly in opposite directions.

  Tuesday 2nd February 2010

  Maureen’s clear-out operation works with military precision; well, better than that really. She had tentatively asked whether I would stay on a bit later if we were falling behind with the packing and moving but it is all ahead of schedule when my shift ends at five o’clock. I put the cash I have counted and balanced into the safe and move the last few bits of my stationery items into a cardboard box with my name on it. Maureen is staying to the end, of course, and her stuff will be the last to go. Well, she is the most important person, after all. I put my stuff onto the trolley we have borrowed from the restaurant and offer to wheel it to the store room on my way out. Her natural inclination is to say no, but even she can see that it is sensible.

  ‘Yes please, Judith,’ she says in her usual stilted way. ‘You will need to bring the trolley back here, though. We’ll need it again later.’

  I resist the temptation to be totally condescending; after all, I’ve caused the woman enough grief already. We’re quits now and I’m determined that from now on we will work in harmony.

  ‘No problem,’ I say as I push the trolley into the lobby and wait for someone to release the outer door to let me into the store.

  Wednesday 3rd February 2010

  Ken and I are definitely closer now, but we have maintained our regular Wednesday evenings out. It’s quieter in town so we can always get to see what we want at the cinema and can always get a table in a restaurant. His mum has invited me round for Sunday dinner some time because they eat in the evenings. She’s nice; they all are. I enjoyed the evening I spent there. Ken and I always work on a Sunday. It’s part of the letting people with children have time off when they want. I don’t mind really.

  My phone rings mid-way through the morning. It’s Ken and I wonder whether he has been asked to stay at work this evening because of the refurbishment of the offices. It’s not that.

  ‘Judith, it’s me.’ Why do people always do that? They know their name pops up on a mobile phone but they still say ‘it’s me’.

  ‘Hi Ken. Everything OK?’

  ‘Yes, sort of, but Mary’s asked me to call you.’ Maybe Maureen was right and this fraternisation is frowned on by the powers-that-be. I sigh. ‘She wants to know if you’ll come in to work tomorrow and do the early shift.’

  ‘Why on earth is the general store manager sorting out the shifts in the cash office? Hasn’t she got better things to do? Like chasing you round the store?’ I’m trying to keep this light but I can tell by his voice that something’s going on.

  ‘I’ll tell you later. Will you? Come in tomorrow? She knows it’s your day off.’

  ‘Yes, of course, but I’ll ne
ed my beauty sleep if I have to be up at six.’

  ‘Thanks, Ju. See you tonight.’

  He’s started calling me Ju. It reminds me of Rosie calling me Auntie Ju. I quite like it. I spend the day wondering what’s happened at work, and I suspect that Maureen has had a bit of a breakdown and is off sick.

  In the middle of the afternoon he rings again.

  ‘Ju, it’s me again. If I pick up some steaks and stuff can we eat at yours tonight?’

  ‘Yes, if you want to. Do you want me to buy something to eat if you’re busy?’

  ‘No, I’ll do it. See you about seven.’

  Something is going on. On the one hand I can hardly wait for seven to come, and on the other hand I really don’t want to know. By eight Ken and I have cooked, drunk half a bottle of red and we are sitting down to eat.

  ‘Are you going to tell me now?’

  ‘I suppose I’m going to have to.’

  I sit and wait, fork poised before popping the piece of sirloin into my mouth.

  ‘You won’t like it.’

  ‘This much I have gathered. Just come right out with it.’

  ‘Well, OK. Last night when the guys from Leeds were doing the cash office they loaded Maureen’s desk onto their trolley to wheel it away. Well, they had to break it apart first, and guess what?’

  ‘What?’ I say, and as that one word comes out of my mouth, I know exactly what he is going to say. The succulent, tender steak that I’ve been chewing suddenly feels like gristle in my mouth and it takes every piece of will power to swallow it. Oh shit! I so do know exactly what.

  ‘Two bank notes fell through the space where her drawer had been. It looked like they had been Sellotaped to the underside of the desk to be taken away at a later date.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ I whisper. ‘Oh my God!’ That was not supposed to happen.

  ‘It was a ten and a twenty. That’s what’s been missing from the two times the store float wouldn’t balance.’

  ‘I know, Ken, I get it.’

  ‘Yeah, sorry, I know you do. Well, it explains a few things, doesn’t it?’

  I suddenly see a way out. ‘Does it, though? If she knew they were there, why did she leave them there knowing the furniture men were coming?’

  ‘It shows she’s not functioning properly. She’s a nervous wreck. You’ve seen her lately; she’s snappy and she’s been telling lies about you.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘Eat up,’ says Ken, and I force down a bit more food. The jacket potato goes down OK but I cannot swallow another piece of steak. I leave it and drink far too much wine for a work night.

  ‘Take my steak home for your mum’s dog,’ I say. He looks at me and can see that it won’t do any good to either make me eat it or ask if I want him to stay the night.

  Thursday 4th February 2010

  The cash office looks shiny and new, and our boxes have been neatly stacked on one of the desks ready for us to put away our papers, files and stationery items. Julie and I don’t feel shiny and new. She normally works in the evenings and isn’t familiar with the morning routine so I take charge and we are soon standing back in the cash office. We sort out what we need in order to count and balance the cash from the night before and leave the putting away until later. To be fair to Maureen, they had done an extra note lift last night and there wasn’t too much for us to do. By the time Sal comes in at ten-thirty we have almost sorted everything out.

  She sits down, ashen-faced. ‘I don’t believe it!’

  ‘I don’t know her as well as you, but I don’t either,’ I say. ‘It can’t be true. There must be an explanation.’

  ‘You’re clever, Judith. Can’t you work it out?’

  ‘What do you mean, I’m clever?’ I ask, a bit taken aback.

  ‘Anyone can see you’re too clever to be working in here. Anyway, we need to try to help Maureen.’

  I agree with her, actually, but feel I must remind her that Maureen was blaming me for the missing money. She looks horrified.

  ‘How did you know that? Oh I suppose Ken told you.’

  Actually you told me, I think but don’t say, ‘Yes, he did mention it. He thought I should know.’

  ‘And you never said anything to us. You are a marvel, Judith. I think I would have gone mad if she’d been saying it about me.’

  ‘Sal, I felt like she was feeling the pressure. I thought that if I made a fuss it would make things worse. I thought that if I just got on with my job that everything would settle down. I didn’t expect this, though. It is such a shock.’ I find that sticking with the truth is the best tactic in these situations, well at least not telling any lies.

  The phone rings. It is Security asking whether we are doing a change run this morning, then the checkout supervisor buzzes to ask the same thing. How we let the systems fall apart if Maureen isn’t here to keep us to time. We set about doing it right now.

  My mobile rings.

  ‘Hi, Judith. Are you here?’

  ‘Oh my God. Sorry, Joanna, I was called in to work. There’s been a problem overnight so I won’t make it today. Sorry.’

  ‘OK. See you soon,’ she hangs up, but not before I hear Ricky asking where I am.

  I work until Anita comes in at three, and we have the same conversation that Sal and I had earlier. Mary Morris catches me just before I finish to say thank you for coming in at short notice. I think that’s the first time I’ve actually had a conversation with the woman. I go home feeling quite exhausted. So they think I’m clever, do they? I’m going to have to be very clever to get Maureen out of this without getting myself into it. Bugger. Why is the course of my pissing life never smooth?

  Ken rings as he’s finishing work a couple of hours later. I tell him I’ve got a headache and want to be left alone.

  My phone beeps with a message. ‘Call me if u change yr mind x’

  My phone beeps again. God, Ken, get the message! This time it says, ‘Hi J. Hope your crisis averted. Come to the cafe tomorrow night for a latte? J’. Oh, it’s Joanna. I don’t ring back; I’ve got too much to think about.

  Friday 5th February 2010

  I’m on the rota to be here early today with Anita so I’m back at the store at seven-thirty. After the change run at eleven, Mary Morris comes into the cash office to see the three of us; Sal has come in by now as well. She tells us that Maureen has been suspended from work pending the investigation into the money that was found. She stresses that this is not to say that Maureen is guilty of anything, but while there appears to be reasonable cause to believe it, it is better that she isn’t here. She asks us to pass on this message to the other members of the cash office team by telephone as soon as possible. She also cautions us about going to see Maureen socially during this time.

  I finish work at three, and it is about five before I get into town to Cafe Bar Sierra and order my latte from Liam, the skinny young man with his hair tied back. He says Joanna’s popped out and will be back soon. I assume that she’s gone to one of the shops that closes about now, and sit down to read the Daily Mail that someone has left. It isn’t long before she comes back, looking a bit pink. I put that down to it being cold outside and warm inside. She gets a coffee and comes to join me.

  ‘So, it’s all happening at your place, then?’ she launches straight in.

  ‘My place?’

  ‘At work. I hear Maureen’s been sacked.’

  ‘Who said that?’ I ask. I don’t know why I continue to be shocked at the speed of the grapevine. I suppose there’s not that much that goes on in Carlisle normally. ‘Anyway, it isn’t true.’

  ‘Isn’t it? My cousin says she’s gone.’

  I decide that the real story needs to be established. ‘She’s been suspended, that’s all, while they investigate. It’s what happens. It’s standard pr
ocedure.’

  ‘You are very sweet and loyal to be playing this down, Judith, but if she’s been stealing, she needs to be sacked.’

  ‘Yes, I know. If she has.’

  ‘What other explanation is there?’

  ‘I haven’t actually thought of a satisfactory one yet,’ I say with complete honesty, ‘but I am working on it.’

  ‘You don’t even like her. Why are you so worried?’

  ‘I think it’s out of character, that’s all. Anyway, sorry about yesterday. It was all a bit of a panic and I didn’t have a chance to call.’

  ‘That’s OK, but Ricky was asking after you.’

  ‘Sweetheart,’ I say. Mothers like it when you say things like that about their little angels. ‘Anyway, let’s talk Spanish. Senor Rossi is giving us a test on Monday.’

  Monday 8th February 2010

  Our Spanish test isn’t very scary, and there is nothing at stake as we aren’t going for a qualification. It is fun really; he makes us get into teams and test each other. Very clever. There are prizes for the best question, the best answer, most fluent answer, funniest question, etc. We all get a prize for something then we have to learn a Spanish song; I don’t know what that’s all about but it definitely is not my forte.

  As nine o’clock approaches, Joanna looks a bit excited. She says she’s not staying for a drink as her friend Danny is picking her up. She has her coat and scarf on in a flash and disappears with a cheery wave. Danny, eh? I must find out who he is.

  Tuesday 9th February 2010

  I seem to have inherited the early shifts in our reorganisation with Maureen being off so I’m finished by three again today. I walk into town, do a bit of shopping then call into Cafe Bar Sierra for a coffee before heading home. There is someone ahead of me being served so I take my time to walk up to the counter. He doesn’t appear to be waiting for anything but stays and talks to Joanna anyway. I walk up to her.

  ‘Oh Judith,’ she says, ‘this is Danny, you know, the one with the nice warm car.’