He took my hand and kissed the palm, causing feelings I had wanted to stay buried to stir. All from his innocent touches. And seemingly innocent words. “I’ve always been your person, Robin. Even when you doubt yourself, never doubt that.”
5
Claius
* * *
Robin’s hips swayed as she walked back into the camp, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Since I’d known her, she seemed oblivious to her grace and beauty. Or rather she tucked it away, not wanting to be noticed. But what she didn't understand, she could cover herself up, withdraw her feelings, even take a step away from everyone. But Robin Locks was a woman everyone took notice of. She made herself different just by doing these things. Men and women alike couldn’t help but turn their head as she walked near them.
If she only knew. She could have men falling at her feet.
Including me.
The wind picked up, stirring the leaves on the forest floor. Fall was here. My nostrils inflamed as a scent I knew very well floated by me. The scent of winter was already drifting in the wind.
Usually, I loved winter. It was when my beast could come out and play. But as more women came into our camp, it became harder and harder to slip away without going unnoticed. Robin was already observant, and I could see the wheels turning in her head.
When I had seen the hurt and confusion on her face as she stepped out of Jon’s tent, I didn't think. Instead, I took her to the part of the forest where Jon had sequestered an area for me and my kind. For some reason, my beast and I wanted her to see it… to share with her what we were.
What we are.
But in the end I said nothing and instead tried to comfort her because we both wanted the same thing.
Her to be happy.
Now clear-headed, I could admit it wasn’t the smartest idea. To take her to a part of the forest where others like me ran free, and to tell her our secrets, but when it came to Robin both me and my beast weren’t rational.
The breath I had been holding left my body as I slid down the tree, the rough bark scratching the back of my head as I sat down.
Not easy for a man my size, I crossed my legs in front of me and closed my eyes, trying to push a certain woman out of my head.
A growl vibrated in my chest. The last thing the beast wanted me to do was forget her. The longer I was around her, the more we wanted and yearned for her and it was becoming harder and harder to tell what he wanted and what I wanted. I yearned for her to delve into my secrets. To know me completely.
But now the one thing I had dreaded had come to fruition, it wasn’t the time to bare my soul.
Now was the time to meditate.
Because Robin was right.
Soldiers had finally come.
War was headed our way. It was inevitable.
And Robin, being who she was, would hit it head on, just like she did when the soldiers came. She wouldn’t stop until she saved everyone.
Even if it meant hurting herself.
What she didn't want to realize was she was already hurting herself.
Just not the way one thought.
And now, with the possibility of something happening to Smite, her pain could only be magnified.
Robin’s worst enemy was herself.
With a deep breath, I closed off the sounds of the forest. The smaller animals that had been on the outskirts of the clearing scattered further away as the wind blew my scent into the breeze.
Now Robin wasn’t here, her scent failed to cover up mine.
But I was used to it.
Smaller animals did usually run from larger predators.
Humming softly, I envisioned Robin instantly. I couldn't help it.
Even in meditation, somehow her image bled through.
I tried again to push her out of my head, thinking of nature, patience, gentleness, forgiveness.
What was Jon thinking?
Meditation broken, I leaned forward and rolled my neck at the stress Jon alone had caused me. Holding my beast back had become exceptionally hard when in his presence. My beast wanted to jump through me and show him what an idiot he was for hurting our girl.
Frustrated with the man I called my best friend, a growl tore from my throat, and I tried to rein my other side in.
She wanted him. Even if she didn't want to admit it. She loved him. Which helped to prevent my beast from ripping a chunk out of him.
How John didn't see it nor act on it, I had no clue. I was only her friend and I battled daily to show her I wanted more.
Claws pushed up against my skin, rubbing the tips of my fingers. I buried them into the cold, dry dirt, and focused on my breathing.
In. Out. In. Out.
At the thought of being just her friend, my beast bucked within me, wanting to be unleashed to show her what we could be to her. But in reality, friends were all we could ever be.
At least until she heard the truth.
Most people in our little community knew about me. Some were even like me.
And Robin didn't have a clue.
She didn't know about any of us.
She didn't want to know. And that was fine.
What wasn't fine, was how Jon was behaving.
My inner beast growled.
Agreeing with my assessment.
My other side wanted to do something, anything, to show Jon and Robin what they should be doing. For some reason the beast wanted them to be together… as long as it made Robin happy.
And she wasn’t.
Robin needed someone.
Jon wanted to be that someone, but they didn’t know how to get started.
A long breath fell from my lips as I stood and dusted the dirt from my pants, my beast now somewhat in control.
If only Robin would turn to me. Want me. Look at me like she looked at Jon.
I smiled.
The beast purred.
The longer I was with her, the more she trusted me, and maybe someday she would look at me like she looked at him. And then maybe, maybe I could trust her with my secret.
With other people's secrets.
Though now the soldiers had come, our secrets might come to fruition sooner than I wanted.
Till that time, though, I was fine as her shoulder to cry on. Because at least a shoulder could feel her touch…. even if it was only her tears.
6
Robin
I walked back into the camp, and suddenly every eye burned into my skin.
My nerves jittered below the surface, and I fought not to hug myself. The nerves came not only from the people who seemed to watch my every move, but Claius' words and small touches that still echoed through me.
After months of feeling nothing, today was the day someone could make me ache just by giving me sweet words and small touches.
I wasn't ready.
People paused in their duties the further into camp I went, and suddenly the feeling of being an outsider strummed through me. Of course, that was the way it always was. Hence my fascination with my tent. Having eyes on me made my skin crawl.
Why they evaded me and stared so much, I wasn't entirely sure. The hostility and not trusting me could all lead back to who I was, but the stares and whispers… I was missing something.
I was on the cusp of uncovering a secret, and the people in this camp didn't want to let me in. And yet I couldn't walk away from these people.
Their secrets, their lifestyle, their eyes.
Not with the way the village was designed. A brilliant strategy for protection, but it left privacy and secrets hard to hide. Mine and theirs.
The layout was a circle. Tents stood side by side, a barrier formed against the outside world.
Chores like cooking, cleaning, and training was done in the center. Working almost as one unit, while also watching the children.
Two kids darted by me as they clashed their wooden swords together.
I smiled. I remembered doing the same thing with the village boys around the castle. Hours wo
uld pass while we pretended to fight fictitious soldiers. After daylight had left us, we were forced home where slumber would take us, and the Sandman gave us sweet dreams.
They had been my first friends besides my sisters. My only friends.
It was strange that I had been here amongst the villagers of Jon's domain, and yet I still had such few friends.
Save for Lily, Jamie, and Claius.
And I had no one to blame but myself. Gruff and abrasive, biting retorts were a common occurrence for me. But even without my personality flaws, the history of my family left me with little to be desired in a friend.
The mysterious princess who was beautiful to look at, high born enough to gossip about, but not good enough to get to know.
Unless you were Lily.
Lily didn't care about any of this.
After I had rescued Lily and left her with Jon, I had continued the work of saving girls unfortunate enough to be sent to my uncle. But my luck ran out when I was captured and tortured, until one fateful day I was liberated and brought back to the same place I had once dropped Lily. That day she had been determined to not only heal me, but to become my friend.
A true friend in every sense of the word.
She nursed not only my body back to health, but my heart.
Along the way, Lily had met Jamie, and they became a package deal.
Throughout my healing, they had wheedled themselves into my life and became my second family.
A family I was learning to trust again.
Love again.
I looked at the other women who sat around the fire, mending clothes and cooking. When I had first entered the small village, things had been blurry. Dehydrated, beaten, and bloody, I couldn't remember much of what happened that day.
The shots that had been given to us as small children had quit working. Following a lack of nourishment and repeated healings from the systemic abuse, my body had slowly started to give up. The sudden escape from the castle used the last bit of strength I had. And when I had been brought in my true healing had just started.
Weeks passed, and the urge to leave Jon's tent became overwhelming, but each time the memories bubbled up, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Frustrated with myself and my weaknesses, I finally ventured out.
The bright sun had hurt my eyes after weeks of not seeing it. The rays burned, causing my eyes to water, the evidence coursing down my face. I blinked furiously, forcing the tears away.
I wanted a clear view of my first day out. Heart pounding, nerves frayed, I glanced around my new surroundings. If this was going to be my new home, I needed to see where I was.
And what greeted me was green. So much green.
A forest with enough growth to hide us from prying eyes, tents that matched the foliage, and last but not least. The women.
Women I had rescued. The ones who had been hurt at my family's hand.
I broke out in a sweat at seeing them.
Their body language conveyed their feelings. Stiff and proud, they stared at me, untrusting. Even though I had been the one to help them, no love was lost between us. And I wasn't surprised. I hadn’t expected unity and acceptance, but neither had I expected what I saw in their expressions. Disgust, hate, and jealousy.
I understood it, though. More than they thought. I also hated my last name and what it entailed.
Trembling, I took the two steps back into Jon's tent and waited for one of the few friends I had made to explain.
And they did.
Me turning up had caused whispers to stir, rumors to be spun. By the time I had woken up, and my many wounds had healed, word had spread of who I was in their camp.
And the vote wasn't in my favor.
And I couldn't blame them.
The Princess of Fraser was in their safe haven. Their fortress.
I was the enemy.
Shaking my head at the memory, I nodded to the women who months ago hated me and even now stayed wary. Stiffly they nodded back as I made my way to the few men who were here.
The village was a small one, maybe a few hundred, and of those the majority were women. A portion of them ones me and Smite had rescued.
Smite. Oh, how I hoped he was okay.
The men stood in rows of three, the sun coming down on their bare shoulders. In court, bare-chested men were frowned upon, but here it beat sweating and making newly laundered clothes filthy. Less than twenty men tried to match the twists and turns of the man's sword who was out leading.
Uncoordinated and sluggish, they unsuccessfully tried to follow the man who moved so gracefully out front.
Why hadn't I noticed him before?
Black hair flowed down the end of his trousers, it almost hid the tanned, muscular back that played peekaboo between the sheets of his locks.
He moved from one position to the next effortlessly, flawlessly.
Where had he found the training?
Only so many could people could move the way he did, and all of them came from the court.
The sun glinted off the other men's swords, pulling my eyes away from the mysterious man to cover my eyes.
His swordsmanship really was beautiful.
With every move of their swords, my fingers itched to pull mine out and work with them, like I used to with the soldiers.
I yearned to work with people again.
But instead of doing what I wanted and taking the chance at being turned away, I made the decision for them, and I turned and headed for my tent.
Rushing to get away before someone noticed my interest, I failed to note the imp who came up to jog beside me.
"What are you doing, Robin? Venturing out of your cave? And not on patrol?"
The imp, or Jamie, which was her real name, must have caught me one of the many nights I had snuck out of my tent to check for evidence of soldiers. Which meant she was out and about probably meeting Lily for a secret rendezvous.
I rolled my eyes as she fought to keep up. "Hello, Jam."
I smiled when a small growl erupted from the red-haired pixie beside me. "I hate that nickname."
I turned and winked but didn't slow my pace as I replied in a sing-song voice, "I know you do. How's Lily?"
Her hands shoved in her pockets, Jamie walked beside me, huffs of air falling from her mouth as she continued to jog beside me. She had on trousers and a shirt that looked far more comfortable than the traditional dresses most of the women wore, and suddenly made me miss my soldier uniform. Ever since I had been rescued, I had been wearing a mixture of the other women's clothing. Halters and skirts meant to be enticing to the males, but harder to move around in. But the last thing I wanted was to attract attention. What I wanted was smooth movement. Tired of my grumbling, Lily had hemmed and slightly altered the few pieces I did have. Now I was able to wear them somewhat comfortably.
But maybe Jamie had the right idea. To throw them all away altogether. Perhaps I should have been looking at other men's clothing for things that would fit me better.
At almost six feet tall and more muscular than the average female, it made sense as most of their stuff would be a better fit.
Hmmm...
Jamie stopped suddenly and looked at me. "Lily’s fine. She's always fine, or so she says. But I actually wanted to talk to you about something."
Usually a little more reserved than Lily, who was as carefree as they came, Jamie asking for something now let me know she was serious.
"All right, what do you need?"
She ruffled her cropped hair and glanced at the people passing by. "Just… Just hold on…"
Grabbing my hand, she pulled me the rest of the way to my tent, away from gossiping and judging eyes.
Being a short-haired woman who wore trousers, she understood what it was like to have people stare. And when we all three were together, well, eyes followed us throughout our day.
Once in my small tent, she began to pace. Though room for that was minimum. It wasn't really much in terms of a plac
e to stay, but as soon as I was able, I needed out of Jon's tent. Luckily, after our giant fight, he had been more inclined to give me what I needed.
Which was a tent built for one, and barely that. With only a small bed, table, a few chairs and my weapons chest that now housed my one weapon.
I dropped into a chair as she paced a few more times. "Does Lily know you’re here?"
At my question, she stopped and looked down at the ground. "No. I mean, she does, but she doesn't."
I propped my flimsy-sandal-clad foot on the desk and raised an eyebrow. "That's horribly confusing."
Jamie grimaced before running her hand through her hair. I was starting to believe she was nervous. "I mean, she knows I left to go find you, but not the reason."
I waved my hand and urged her on. The last thing I wanted to do was anger one of the only friends I had, but the pacing was wearing my already thin patience.
I really needed to train.
"And what is it she doesn't know about?"
Without answering, she pulled out the chair closest to me and sat down before bending over and clasping her hands together.
"I want you to teach me to fight."
While I wasn't surprised by what Jamie wanted, the reasoning behind it was what I really needed.
Even though I was pretty sure I already knew.
"And why is it you want to be trained?"
She leaned back in her chair, her green eyes never leaving mine.
Jamie was pretty in an unconventional way. With her short red hair, pointed chin and bright green eyes, she appeared to be almost feline in nature.
And Lily was hopelessly in love with her.
"Those soldiers came out of nowhere, Robin."
She huffed the sound, speaking volumes. The events that had taken place this morning must have really shaken her up. Not to say it hadn't shaken me also, because it did, more than I cared to admit. But if people with weapons who brought about destruction didn't scare you, then what did?
I understood what she meant. More than she could probably imagine. "Yes, they did."
I paused. "And Lily was right there."
The stress in her shoulders melted away. I had hit the nail on the head. "Yes, and I couldn’t protect her. She could have been hurt.”
The Vengeful Robin Page 5