by Angela Blake
She began to chew on her bottom lip thoughtfully as she tapped her pen against the desk.
She began to stare around the office for inspiration, dimly nothing the specific details of her surroundings, but focusing rather on the general outline and feel of the place. One of her idiosyncrasies was that whenever she was feeling writers block, she’d stare around the room she was in, narrowing her eyes when she noticing something peculiar about an individual then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, inspiration would hit her, and she’d be inspired to get back to work.
She couldn’t really explain it, and she knew most people didn’t get the process, but she thought it was cool.
She drummed her fingers against her jeans as an idea began to form in her head. Once it was finished fermenting, she swiveled in her chair to face her laptop, placed her glasses back on and started typing.
***
“Oh, look at you, hard at work with those cat eye, sexy librarian glasses.”
“You’ve got those sexy librarian glasses on again.”
Daniel plopped down onto the couch next to her and ran his hands through his hair. Esmeralda gave him a distracted smile. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, you know what I’m talking about.” Daniel placed his leg squarely on her lap and kept wriggling them till Esmeralda was forced to drag her eyes away from the screen and look at her boyfriend of two years sitting there in his short and t-shirt trying too hard to look innocent.
Esmeralda raised an eyebrow. “Is this some kind of code or something?”
Daniel laughed. “No, it’s not a code. Okay, I’ll explain it to you.” He moved his legs off of her lap and wrapped an arm around her. “Sexy librarian glasses are basically what you’re wearing now. Any guy who has ever had a fantasy featuring a teacher or a librarian or even a writer has pictured those glasses because they give this illusion of innocence while still being extremely sexy. They give you this cool sophisticated nerd look, and still cater to a guy’s fantasy.”
Esmeralda pretended to be horrified as she shrugged his arm off. “Is that why you encouraged me to get them? You little scoundrel. You said they looked nice. I wasn’t aware I was catering to your little fantasy.”
Daniel waggled his eyebrows at her. “What’s wrong with catering to your boyfriend’s fantasies? It’s not hurting anyone.”
He leaned forward and titled her head up, and she got lost staring into his eyes. “Besides, you look sexy as hell, so much so that I’m tempted to just kick that laptop away and have my wicked way with you.”
“Is that so?” she whispered huskily. “Well, who says I’ll let you?”
Daniel grinned as he kissed the corner of her mouth. “I can already feel your defenses weaken.”
Esmeralda giggled as he pressed his lips to hers.
Esmeralda blinked as she noticed that Christina was waving her hand in front of her face. Esmeralda gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, did I zone out?”
She tried to shake the memory of her ex off as she focused on Christina instead. Esmeralda reached for her drink and began to sip. “You know those glasses are like a prop in porn, you’re practically a porn star now.”
Esmeralda choked on her drink and started hacking and coughing until Christina leaned over and began to pat her back, with a smirk on her face. “Drink too fast?”
Esmeralda shot her a look. “They really use them as props in porn?”
Christina shrugged. “Well, it’s not the type that I watch, but I heard so, yeah.”
Esmeralda flushed deeply. “I had no idea.”
Christina examined her nails. “Yeah, apparently boohoo chic is all the rage.”
Esmeralda pursed her lips. “That’s kind of weird. I mean what about the women who actually wear those glasses because they need to do, and not out of some misguided notion that they need to appease man’s sexual fantasies?”
“Well, then, better for the men because that means they won’t have to discover that they’re fake and get upset.”
Esmeralda made a sound in the back of her throat. “I don’t get it though. What’s the appeal?”
Christina waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s this belief guys have that every good girl has a wild side, and that librarians specifically have this penchant for the, shall we say, particularly rowdy extracurricular activities?”
Esmeralda made a gagging sound. “Urgh, ew. That’s kind of sexist.”
“It’s not for everyone.” Christina smirked as she waggled her eyebrows at Esmeralda. “Come on, I bet you’re secretly into those kinds of things.”
Esmeralda snorted, quickly. “Roleplay? I don’t know, I’ve never tried it, but I don’t think so. I mean why pretend to be other people? Isn’t that kind of like hiding behind a mask?”
Christina rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to be so genuine all the time, Esme. Besides, it’s not hiding. It’s supposed to fun, exciting and sexy. Getting to act out your sexual fantasies can be very liberating and very exciting for a woman.”
“Isn’t it better to just be yourself, so that the passion and excitement, and yes even the sexiness will be more natural then? Less forced as well.”
Christina stood up. “And that my dear, Esme, is why you are an old fashioned romantic who doesn’t belong in this modern day and age—an old soul if you will—and one of the many reasons why I love you, but also one of the many reasons why a lot of your relationships don’t work out. Guys just don’t want to commit anymore, and why would they when a lot of women don’t want to either?”
“I know you believe that, Chris, and I know some people out there are happy settling for that, and hey who am I to judge? Good for them. But as it applies to me personally, I could never be happy doing things half assed especially relationships. I’m all in or all out, and the guy that I’m with can either take it or leave it because I’m not compromising that for anyone.”
Christina held up her hands in mock surrender. “Okay, Amelia Earhart, relax. I agree with you completely. That doesn’t make it easier though.”
“I know, so when are we telling the boss about our trip?”
Christina checked her watch. “I’ve got a meeting right now, but after the meeting, in a say an hour or so.”
Esmeralda nodded. “Okay, great. That gives me more time to finish up, so I can send it before we head off to Egypt.”
“Same.” Christina blew her a quick kiss, and the sound of her high heels faded down the hallway and back to her own desk which was only a few feet away.
Esmeralda had been friends with Christina for a while, and in those four years, she always wondered how Christina managed to look like she wasn’t doing any work, yet she always managed to submit her things on time. Esmeralda couldn’t figure it out, and sometimes it drove her nuts. Surely, the truth made sense.
Chapter 3
They both stood outside Eric’s office a while later, Christina had her head held high, and she was exuding confidence. Esmeralda, on the other hand, was fidgeting nervously from one foot to the next.
She had just received an email from the client, and her boss was in the CC. The client had liked the story so much, he was ordering a whole other batch, but he requested more words which meant more time to think things out, and Esmeralda didn’t want to do that just now. She wanted to go to Egypt and enjoy the sun.
She was hoping her boss would agree, and she was pretty sure he would, but the idea of having work to finish and jetting off anyway didn’t sit right with her. She was a real stickler for the rules, and she liked to keep her deadlines.
Esmeralda gave a start as she felt Christina elbow her in the side. “Ouch.” She rubbed her sore arm. “What was that for?”
“Stop fidgeting so much. We’re going to get those days off, and it won’t affect your deadline. You’re going to make it.”
Esmeralda gave her a rueful grin. “Am I really that obvious?”
Christina snorted. “Honey, you couldn’t be mo
re obvious if you had a thought bubble over your head screaming nerd.”
“I’m not a nerd.”
Christina eyed her. “You’re definitely a nerd, but that by the way, is meant as a compliment. I mean that in the best possible way.”
“Thanks?” she questioned as the secretary, a petite blonde woman, smiled and signaled for them to go right in.
“You’re welcome,” Christina affirmed as she took the first step forward, Esmeralda following in her wake. Esmeralda had been here a lot longer, but it was Christina who was a natural born leader. It something in the way she carried herself, her magnetic presence, her charm, and her complete and total lack of indifference regarding what people thought of her that drew people to her. She was like a magnet especially for men.
Christina gave a brief knock. “Here we go.” She swung the door open and walked in with a dazzling smile while Esmeralda followed with a small smile of her own. Esmeralda quietly shut the door behind her as she turned around and faced Eric who had his brow furrowed in concentration. He was listening intently to the person on the other end of the line while he jotted down some things on a notepad.
He waved at them to sit down while he leaned back in his chair and sighed inaudibly.
Christina and Esmeralda sat opposite each other in plush mahogany chairs while Esmeralda secretly admired the interior decoration of the room. It was done in soft undertones of brown and green oozing a subtle kind of masculine charm that was subtle enough to draw attention, but doesn’t scream patriarchal otherwise it would drive their female clients away.
Eric made a noise of assent in the back of his throat before he bid the other person on the line a quick goodbye, and he turned around to face us with a smile on his face.
“Christina, Esmeralda, good afternoon ladies. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“We’d like a few days off Mr. Lovat,” Christina said, getting straight to the point.
One eyebrow went up. “Oh? And when would you like to take the time off?”
“Well, I know the office will be closing for three days because of the renovation next week, so we’d figured we’d bridge the gap, and have a whole week off.”
“Very shrewd of you, Christina. Well —” He leaned back in his chair and stroked his beard thoughtfully. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anyone. You ladies are keeping up anyway, and a vacation might be just what you need to come back with fresh ideas for our clients.”
A knock interrupted their meeting, and Eric Lovat turned to face the door, a slightly annoyed smile on his face. “Yes?”
His secretary poked her head in. “Mr. Lovat, I’m so sorry to interrupt the meeting, but Mr. Austin is here, and he says it’s important.”
“Alright, send him in, please.”
All the blood drained from Esmeralda’s voice as she heard the name. Christina grabbed her hand and squeezed. She turned to her and mouthed ‘are you ok?’
Esmeralda shrugged as she wondered what kind of excuse she could come up with to get out of here. She didn’t want to see the face attached to the name.
The face of her ex.
“Mr. Lovat, should we go, or do you want us to wait?” Christina asked.
Eric looked distracted as he arranged things on his desk. “What? Oh, no, no stay. This won’t take long. Mr. Austin is simply here to pick up a few papers, and he’ll be on his way.”
Christina gave her a weak smile knowing how much she wanted to be out of there.
A knock followed a while later, and Esmeralda briefly closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
“Mr. Austin, welcome. I’m sorry I don’t have much time to spare, but I didn’t know you were coming in today.”
“I’m sorry to drop in on you like this, Mr. Lovat, but my company insisted it was urgent.”
“Yes, they emailed me.” He went over to his desk. “Oh, where are my manners? Mr. Austin surely you remember Christina and Esmeralda? I believe you guys have met before.”
Christina gave him a venomous smile when Eric wasn’t looking as she icily shook his hand. Esmeralda tried not to notice the way his black hair had gotten longer, the way his brown eyes sparkled, or the way he looked in that suit. Eric turned his gaze to hers, and for a moment, Esmeralda debated ignoring it, but that would cause more problems than solutions, so she hesitantly placed her hand in his.
She tried to ignore the way it felt to have him touch her like that after so long apart. Eric and Daniel stood off to the side discussing something related to business, but Esmeralda could feel his eyes on the back of her head.
***
Esmeralda frowned as she looked up Egypt weather online. She stared back and forth between the laptop and her closet trying to decide what to do. The weather report said that it would be hot and or warm during the day, but particularly cold during the night, so Esmeralda couldn’t decide whether to pack heavy or light clothing.
She shrugged a few minutes later and decided to pack a little bit of both. She took out a medium sized suitcase that was also a backpack and began to pack hoodies, t-shirts, shorts and sweatpants deciding that she had done the best she could to accommodate both sides of the weather.
She nodded to herself as she zipped up her bag and placed it next to her closet.
Christina burst in a while later with a wild look in her eye. “I have no idea what to pack.”
Esmeralda gave a quick laugh. “I had the same problem till I looked up the weather online.”
“Oh? What does it say?”
“Well, don’t laugh, but you should probably have both summer and winter clothes because it’s going to be hot during the day and cold at night, and you know we’re going to be camping in the desert, so you’d better pack those thermal underclothes we bought that one time.”
Christina looked thoughtful for a moment before snapping her fingers. “Okay, I think I know what to pack. Thanks.” She froze in her tracks and pivoted till she was facing Esmeralda. “By the way, there’s a phone call for you. I came in to say that, but when I saw the suitcase, I got distracted.”
Esmeralda looked surprised. “For me? Nobody ever calls me on the house phone.”
Christina grimaced. “It’s Daniel. I’ve been hanging up on him a few times, but he keeps calling back, and honestly I can’t disconnect the phone in case we get an important call from work.”
“Oh,” Esmeralda said quietly. “Yeah, no you’re right. About the work thing.”
“Do you want me to unleash my inner monster and tell him to go screw himself then maybe I can go to his house and kick him where the sun don’t shine?”
Esmeralda gave her a small smile. “Sweetie, you are literally the greatest friend ever, and as much as I would love to, you know that we can’t because Panda Publishing does a lot of business with the company he works at, and he’s their top manager, so I was going to end up seeing him sooner or later.”
“I think we both would’ve preferred the latter option.”
“Doesn’t everyone?” Esmeralda headed towards the phone and stood there staring at it as if it was a snake that would bite if she took one step closer. Christina crossed the room in two strides and squeezed her hand quietly. “I’m here if you need me. You can do this. Just be cool and detached.”
Esmeralda nodded once and touched the cool handle of the phone. She clicked on the button that would let the call through and took a deep breath before she answered. “Hello?”
“Esmeralda? It’s me, Daniel.”
The sound of his voice had a million memories assault her at once. Nights spent listening to him playing the guitar while they sang together. Him trying to teach her to play the guitar, but getting distracted. Her trying to teach him about mainstream music and movies. Throwing pillows at each other that one day neither of them had any work to do at all.
She gritted her teeth against the onslaught of memories and pushed them to the back of her mind. “Yes. Hello.”
There was a pause. “How are you?”
“I�
�m well.” She felt her manners struggle to get the best of her, so she managed to bite out a “You?” before she clamped her mouth shut.
“I’m okay, I guess.”
There was silence on the other hand, and Esmeralda could see him standing clearly as if he was right there in front of her. The phone cradled between his ear and shoulder. His black hair sticking up at all ends as he stroked his beard and moustache which is what he tended to do when he was in deep thought. His brown eyes would probably be twinkling, the way they usually did.
She shook her head. “Why are you calling me?”
“I don’t know, to be honest. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Esmeralda closed her eyes. “Daniel, we agreed that we can’t talk anymore.”
“I know that we said it’s for the best, but I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose that connection we have, and when I didn’t expect to see you, and when I did, it was like something inside me just shifted. I know that I had to call you, and get you to talk to me.”
“You don’t want to lose me, yet you don’t want to fight for me.” She pointed out hotly. “That’s hardly fair, now is it? I’m trying to move on, Daniel, and you should be too.”
“And how’s that working out for you?” he asked quietly, and she could picture his brown eyes boring into hers.
“Don’t you dare!” she responded, tartly. “Don’t you dare play that card with me. You’re the one who chose to end things for no good reason.”
“You know it wasn’t like that!” he shouted, the frustration evident in his voice. “I told you my reasons.”
“You mean your bullshit? Yeah, I’m not buying it.”
“It’s not bullshit,” he said tensely. “You know that I was doing it more for your sake than mine.”
“If that’s the lie you need to tell yourself to appease your conscience then that’s up to you, but like hell it’s for me.” She took a deep breath and tried to get her anger in check, remembering the sentiments Christina echoed earlier, but for some reason, she couldn’t stop the torrent of emotions that was struggling to burst forth. “Okay, you know what, douche bag? You’ve made it perfectly clear that you want nothing more to do with me, and outside of a business setting, we don’t have to see each other, we don’t have talk to each other. You know what? We don’t even have to talk to each other in a business setting which is probably for the best because I don’t think you want anyone to know what a coward you really are.”