by Mika West
Lucy, in my kitchen, making me breakfast was digging up those buried feelings. And that shouldn’t be because I just lost my fiancée a few weeks ago.
“Maybe I shouldn’t bring it up,” she murmured.
Oh, right, we were having a conversation. Dragging my eyes away from Lucy's ass, I said, “It’s alright, Luce. I know you want to ask about Julie. Go ahead.”
She removed the last pancake from the frying pan and turned to me. “What happened?”
Drawing in a puff of air, I let it all out. I needed someone to talk to, and Eric wouldn’t be home for another week.
“Julie made it quite clear that she hadn’t signed on for raising children, let alone someone else’s… She packed her bags and went back to New York.” I sighed and looked around. “I brought her back to Manchester, bought this enormous house with the intention of getting married and starting a family. I thought that was what she wanted. I presumed too much. We never really had that talk, you know? And I guess having two kids thrown into her life so suddenly, brought the realities front and center, and scared her off.” The pity on Lucy’s face killed me.
“I don’t know what to say, Ry. I’m sorry. I know you loved her.” She averted her gaze, then busied herself whipping eggs.
“No need for your pity, Luce. I’m fine.”
I really wasn’t and Julie dumping me was only the tip of the iceberg.
Lucy
I didn’t believe him when he said he was fine. His eyes darkened when he was upset or hurt. They twinkled when he was excited about something. I knew Ryan. I paid so much attention to him growing up, being head over heels for him and all. His eyes were positively dim. He hadn’t had time to recover from losing his sister before he lost his fiancée.
Was Julie crazy? She had the perfect man, and she left? Because of Maxine and Becky? The girls were adorable; they were everything. They had stolen my heart since I’d first met them years ago. Beth, Ryan’s sister,, and I were acquainted and when she introduced me to her precious girls, I had fallen in love. There was a time when I would have killed to be in Julie’s position, to have a family with Ryan. Okay, I had to admit that I would probably still kill to be in that position. I had wanted to off Julie since the day Ryan returned to town with her, and I’d never been a violent person by nature. Jealousy was an ugly thing.
“If you say so, but I don’t believe you,” I finally responded. “You can get the girls. The eggs will be finished in no time.” I watched Ryan jump up and scurry out of the kitchen. He couldn’t get away fast enough.
By the time he returned, an adorable curly haired baby in his arms, the table was set. “It smells great in here, like a real kitchen,” Ryan said.
“This is how pancakes are supposed to smell, Uncle Ryan,” Maxi chirped.
I let out a laugh. “Your niece low-key insulted you.”
Ryan grinned. “She’s so damn cute; she’ll get away with it.”
His smile nearly knocked my socks off. If I weren’t wearing jeans, maybe my panties would have dropped as well. He’d had women fawning over him since high school. I had to suffer through my teenage years watching Ryan with different girls on his arm practically every day. And college had been his playground. The women he was into were the direct opposite of me, tall, leggy, and big breasted. I wasn’t his type, meaning I never had a chance in hell. Yet, I continued to pine over him. The thought crossed my mind that I must be a masochist.
“My work here is done. I’ll leave you guys with your pancakes.”
“You’re not staying?” Ryan’s brows crinkled.
“I don’t want to impose.”
“You just made us breakfast, Luce. We want you to stay.”
“Stay with us, Lucy,” Maxi pleaded. Even Becky wiggled in Ryan’s arms and reached her chubby little hands out to me. It was a bad idea. I really shouldn’t get too close. But, I couldn’t refuse, they were all so adorable.
“Alright, I’ll stay for breakfast.” It wasn’t like I had anything to do anyway. My catering business was slow, very slow, as in no business coming in at all. I shoved the troubling thought aside and plastered on a bright smile.
With his free hand, Ryan pulled out my chair like a gentleman. Maxi climbed into her chair then Ryan placed Becky in her high chair. Seeing him with the kids, so domesticated made him hotter in my eyes. I nearly sighed at the sight of him with the baby, wishing that baby was ours. Oh no. I glanced around the table. That was precisely why I shouldn’t have stayed. All I ended up doing was daydreaming about having a family with Ryan. I fell silent, listened to Ryan and Maxi chat about cartoons. But I couldn’t help but smile. He was so good with the girls. He'd make a great father… in fact, he was a great father. A single-dad extraordinaire, and apart from his lack of cooking skills, I believed Beth and James would be proud.
By the end of breakfast, I had dreamed up an entire life with Ryan, two more children along with his nieces, a lovely house with a white picket fence and even a dog or cat.
“I’ll clean up,” I volunteered, shaking my off my fantasy.
Ryan shook his head. “No way. You’ve already done so much. Breakfast was delicious by the way. Thank you.”
“Yeah, thank you, Lucy. You saved us.” Maxi launched herself at me, and I caught her with a giggle. “Can you come over and make breakfast every day?”
“Maxi, Lucy is busy. She can’t come over every day.”
I glanced at Ryan then at Maxi, still in my arms. A snort nearly escaped. Busy my ass. I had absolutely nothing going on; I could spare a few hours in the morning to help out. It was the least I could do to help my old friend Ryan. He’s just a friend, I told myself.
“Tell you what, Max, I will come over and make you guys anything you want as often as I can.” Which might turn out to be every day, I refrained from adding. “Deal?”
“Deal!” The little girl bounced in my lap. “Now, go ahead and read until uncle Ryan and I clean up. Then, I’ll help you and Becky take a bath.”
“A bath?” she pouted, not fond of the idea.
I tickled her. "You're a messy pup; you have syrup in your hair."
“And practically up your arms too,” Ryan chimed in.
“Okay,” Maxi said and was about to sprint away, her sticky fingers about to touch everything in sight.
“Wait,” I called and grabbed a baby wipe from the side. “Hands, please.”
Maxi pouted again but held them out, and I got them cleaned up in no time. "Okay, now you can play."
“Yay!” Her little arms wrapped around my neck, tugging at my heartstrings and then she was gone.
“Lucy, are you sure you have the time?” Ryan inquired. “What about work?”
“I have the time today. My assistant can handle things until I get back. Besides, the entire day was booked for you and Jul... er, I’ve got plenty of time.”
Ryan exhaled, pain flickering across his face. He glanced at Becky who was wearing most of her breakfast. His mouth twisted. “I supposed I could use the help. Giving those two their baths is a colossal task.”
I laughed. “I’m sure. Let’s get started.”
We cleaned up the kitchen, grabbed Becky and Maxi and made our way up the stairs. I hadn’t examined my surrounding when I arrived earlier, but doing so as we moved through the house I was horrified. The living room was littered with toys that hadn’t been put away for days, and so was the staircase, starting from bottom to top. Upstairs, two laundry baskets sat in the hallway between Becky’s and Maxi’s room, overflowing clothes. I had no idea if they were clean or not. The carpet needed vacuuming, the girls’ rooms needed tidying.
“Sorry about the mess,” he said sheepishly.
Mess was an understatement. Ryan’s house was a disaster area. It was then that I appointed myself their fairy godmother. They all needed me, and I had nothing but time on my hands. “It’s okay; I’ll stick around and help clean up.”
“I could kiss you,” Ryan declared, making my heart flip in my chest.
It took everything for me not to blurt out that he should. Of course, he spoke those words out of gratitude, but a girl could dream. The entire time, I spent getting the girls, and the house cleaned up, I held on to the image of Ryan taking me into his arms and kissing me.
Ryan
When the door swung open, I frowned.
“Ryan?”
“You didn’t even ask who was at the door. You should be more careful, Luce.”
Her brows shot up. “Um, hello to you too. What are you doing here? And I’m not the little girl you need to look out for anymore.”
Yes, I could see that she wasn’t a little girl anymore. She sported loose sweatpants, but the tank top she had on was skin tight, revealing a sliver of skin of her abdomen. Clearly, she wore no bra because a slight breeze passed between us, and instantly her nipples puckered. I forced my eyes upward and my head out of the gutter.
“Hi, sorry for dropping by without notice, I just wanted to...” What did I want? All I knew was that I felt compelled to see her. To thank her maybe? I wasn’t quite sure. “I wanted to thank you for everything.”
Lucy wrapped her arms around her middle. “You can stop thanking me, Ryan. I don’t mind helping out. I can’t believe you braved the cold to come here for that. You have heard of the little invention call the cell phone, right?”
I grinned. “Maybe I wanted someone to talk to, in person.”
She softened, just like I knew she would. Then, she looked over my shoulder at my parked car. “Where are the girls?”
“At home, in bed. I hired a babysitter for a few hours." Guilt swept his face the moment he said it. "Don't worry; I made sure she was reputable, highly recommended from the family down the street. They're safe with Joanne."
“I’m not worried, you deserve few hours off. Well, I suppose you better come in,” Lucy said and glanced back behind her.
“You have company?” I tensed, hit with an onslaught of jealousy that surprised me. The thought that Lucy had some man in her home made me want to punch something, which was ridiculous. She was free to do whatever she wanted.
“I do.” She stepped aside. “But come in.”
I hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but I did want to scope the guy out. “Thanks.”
Lucy’s quaint home was warm, like her, cozy and welcoming, with a lot of soothing colors. It also smelled heavenly. The scent of freshly baked pastries filled the air.
“Smells good in here.”
“I just got done baking cookies for Charlie.”
“Charlie?” Great I knew the man’s name.
“Yeah. Hey, Charlie, we have a visitor.”
Good God, did the man live with her? Since when? If Lucy were shacking up with a boyfriend, I would have known, right? Sure, I had made great effort to avoid her as much as I could for the past year, but her brother would have told me. My jaws clenched as I waited for Charlie to appear. I wasn’t expecting the lanky, red-haired girl that rounded the corner, into the living room.
“A client at this hour?” She froze. Her eyes widened behind her tortoiseshell glasses. “Oh, my God. Santa came early and left a gorgeous man in your living room, Lucy.”
Lucy groaned, and I grinned. “Charlie, this is Ryan. Ryan this is my assistant, Charlotte Turner.”
She smoothed her pixie cut hair and extended a hand, which I took into mine. “Nice to meet you, Charlotte.”
“Please, call me Charlie, all my friends do, and you’re the type of my man I want to be my friend.”
“Charlie,” Lucy warned.
Her eyes widened a fraction more. “Oh, is this your boyfriend, Lucy? I’m sorry. Wow, you sure know how to pick ‘em. I should get going, then. Give you two your privacy.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Lucy clarified.
“Oh, come on Lucy, you don’t have to hide the fact that you’re dating. I’m twenty years old; you don’t have to tiptoe around me.”
I watched amused as Lucy’s face turned crimson. “He really isn’t—”
“I’ll grab my cookies and bounce. Thanks for your help. You’re the best boss ever.”
“Charlie, you don’t have to leave.”
“It’s cool. I’m meeting up with some friends in a bit. I’ll go through the back door. Have a good night. It was a pleasure meeting you Ryan.” She looked at me then at Lucy with twinkling green eyes before disappearing.
Lucy huffed. “Sorry about that, Charlie is—”
“Animated. I like her.”
Lucy laughed. “It’s hard not to. She’s so full of energy I can barely keep up sometimes. But, she’s an amazing employee.” She nodded to a cream linen sofa. “Please, have a seat.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. Do you usually work this late?”
“Sometimes. I wasn’t working tonight, though. I made some cookies for Charlie. She goes to the community college, and they’re having an early Christmas party. She volunteered to bring the cookies.” She plopped down across from me. “So, you said you wanted to talk. What’s up?”
Letting out a breath, I shrugged. “I was at home, and I felt the need to get out. You know?” The girls were asleep, and as I sat alone, in silence, my thoughts started to drive me up the wall. “I figure, what better place to run to than to the woman who has been my savior?”
Her laughter filled the room, so melodious and infectious. “For goodness sake, Ryan, all I’ve done is cook you and the girls a few meals.”
For the past week, Lucy showed up at my house to make breakfast and dinner. She cleaned up the house and got the girls ready for the day and kept them occupied while I worked. She was an angel. “You’ve been saving my life, that’s what you’ve been doing.”
“Well, you have to work and take care of the girls, which is challenging enough. Plus, after everything else you’ve been through, you needed a little bit of help. I love the girls and I lov— and you’re my friend. Friends help each other out.” Lucy shifted uneasily, which left me to wonder why she would be uncomfortable around me. “Is there anything else, in particular, you want to talk about?”
“Are you going to try and play therapist?”
She held up both palms. “Hey, you sought me out. You wanted to talk.” She snickered. “And no, I won’t try to get into your head. I know I’m just a substitute until your drinking buddy returns.”
“You are second to no one, Lucy Wells.”
“Oh yeah? Are you saying you wouldn’t prefer to be at a bar with Eric drowning your sorrows and ogling women right now?”
“I do not ogle.” She was right. I would have loved to be drowning my grief in a bottle of vodka but, I had two kids to think about before myself now. I had to keep my shit together. “I can’t spend my nights hanging out at bars, Luce. Maxi and Becky need me at home, sober.”
She smiled. “And you said you had no idea what you’re doing. You’re doing good, Ryan. I can tell by the way those girls look at you. They’re happy. Beth knew you wouldn’t let her down.”
I was silent for a while, reflected on the bomb that was dropped in my life months ago. After my sister and her husband died, I found out that Beth had me as guardian of both girls if anything were to happen to her and James. Needless to say, I was stunned. I knew our mom, who’d relocated to Chicago to live with her sister after my father passed, was too old and frail to take custody of the girls. James had no living relatives. But, what about the godparents? After my initial shock and apprehension, I did what I had to do.
“You don’t think I’ll ruin the girls’ lives? I know absolutely nothing about children.”
“The girls adore you, and you adore them. That’s enough. You’ll learn as you go. Like every other parent in the world. And I’m here if you need anything… I don't know jack-shit either, but together we can work it out." Lucy paused and looked away. Together, huh? I tried to decipher the meaning of her words, but then she quickly added as her face brightened again, "I’ll even teach you to cook, so you don’t poison yourself and the girls
.”
“Ha! Thanks. I might take you up on that.”
Her lips stretched into a grin. “So, do you feel better?”
“I do.” I really did. The little chat with Lucy was encouraging.
“Is that it? You look like you have something else on your mind. Spill it."
I cocked a brow. “I’m not talking about Julie.”
“How did you know—”
“Because I’ve known you since you were a kid prancing around in a tutu. I can read you like an open book, Luce. Besides, that's not what's on my mind."
Lucy
If Ryan could read me like an open book, then I was doing a hell of a job hiding my feelings for him. Having him in my living room had me on edge. Opening my door to find him standing on my porch had sent mixed emotions coursing through me. Surprise, excitement and hope all at once. A part of me—the senseless part—had hoped he was there to ask me out, tell me he’d been thinking about me. The excitement had bubbled. Unfortunately, all he wanted to do was thank me. Boy, had I been friend-zoned, and it was killing me slowly inside.
“I’m glad you feel better, and I’m glad I could help.” I stood up and moved to the door. I had to get him out of there. It was all too much.
“Kicking me out already? That’s no way to treat your boyfriend.”
I whirled around, my mouth hanging open. Then, I remembered Charlie’s words. Right. “Very funny. I’m not kicking you out. I’m just...”
“I have the sitter until ten. I’m making the most of my night out. How about some coffee, maybe we could even watch some classic Christmas movies, like the good old days when we were kids?”