So maybe he had been sticking up for her. But with Mia? It wasn’t necessary.
But the more times she rewound and fast-forwarded, trying to pinpoint one anomaly that could keep her in an irate state, she couldn’t find one.
He had said what he did out of caring. Even Mia had agreed with what he had said to her.
With that knowledge in mind, she did what any normal person would do when they needed to apologize.
She took a shower.
Again.
Because she wasn’t normal. She was messed up, imperfect, and made bad decisions all the time.
Right now, she felt like acting like a coward. Plus, the hot water felt so nice on her skin. As if it could cleanse all the hurt out of her body.
Her idiotic mistakes.
The fact she probably shot a man.
Of course, the man had killed his girlfriend and had tried to kill them. It was shoot or die themselves. They had no choice.
It still didn’t make her feel better or erase the image of his bloodied body from her mind, lying half on his front porch, half inside the house.
They’d be on administrative leave no more than a week for the investigation to find they had just cause to shoot.
She had no idea what she’d do with herself in that week’s timeframe. Suddenly—unlike last night when she only wanted to be alone in her misery—she wanted company.
She wanted Dane.
Talk about wishy-washy feelings.
Getting out of the shower for the second time that day, she got ready. Blew dry her hair. Styled with soft curls. Applied a tiny bit of makeup: mascara, eyeshadow, and a touch of red lipstick.
Yet, her foolish, scared pride still couldn’t conjure the courage to call Dane. It was now nearing lunchtime. He hadn’t called her yet, either.
Of course, why would he? She kicked him out. He wouldn’t be calling anytime soon.
Trying to erase the pain she had witnessed in his eyes before he walked away, she decided to clean her apartment. Not that it was that messy. She usually picked up after herself right away rather than leave a mess to deal with once a week. But a blanket needed to be folded in the living room. The floor had to be vacuumed. Twice. Well, not really, but the noise filling the silent apartment soothed her somewhat.
She cleaned the kitchen, putting away a few pots and pans Dane had grabbed. No food littered the counter, so she couldn’t be sure what he had planned to make for breakfast.
How did he learn to cook? It just occurred to her.
His mother didn’t cook, so she didn’t teach him.
Francis, his parents’ cook? That seemed the likely answer to such a simple question. All she had to do was ask him. Pick up the phone and call.
An apology would be best first, then ask where he learned to cook.
She wiped down all the kitchen counters, even though they didn’t need it, then organized the fridge because who likes an unorganized fridge. She even color-coded the items, so it looked like a rainbow when you opened the door. Everyone loved rainbows. Rainbows made a person smile.
She opened and closed the fridge a few times.
The colors captured her attention.
Like a pretty rainbow.
No smile appeared.
She slammed the door closed.
Because she was an idiot, finding the dumbest excuses to waste time instead of picking up the phone to apologize. It irritated her once again that another one of her friends was right. Jaxson said she liked to push guys away. Sure, she dated some full-on losers. But on occasion, she dated a nice guy or two. Like Greg. But it never amounted to much.
Because she pushed them away.
Kind of what she had done to Dane this morning. Instead of appreciating his kindness for sticking up for her, she told him to get the hell out, like he had done something wrong.
The past month had been one of the best months of her life. Full of fun, laughter, hot sex. Oh, boy, the sex was out of this world hot. Every time she saw Dane, her heart fell a little deeper in love.
It scared the shit out of her.
How could he love someone so brash, outspoken, and idiotic at times? Going undercover to see if your best friend’s boyfriend was cheating on her was a very stupid thing to do. Grown adults didn’t act like that. They had meaningful, truthful conversations. It would’ve been so much better if Mia would’ve just asked Champ if he was cheating.
Except Mia would’ve never done that, and Gabby couldn’t say no to her.
It didn’t make it right.
Ugh. She needed to clear her head. Everything kept going round and round in circles.
So, she took another shower. This time she turned the water even hotter, letting it scald her skin until almost every inch was beet red.
By the time she stepped out of the shower, she looked like a cooked crab waiting to be smashed open claw by claw.
Wiping the mirror clear of steam, she stared for a moment at herself. She wasn’t happy with the woman staring back.
And delaying the inevitable talk—because she’d have to face Dane at some point—only confirmed she was a coward. Damn it. She was no coward. Not in the face of anything. Armed suspect. Crazed, drunken asshole. Smart-mouthed teenager. Victim crying for the loss of a loved one. She faced anything and everything head-on. Every single time. She would with this, too.
She got ready for the third time that day. Same as the last time. Light makeup, cute hair. She pulled a nice shirt out of the closet. Not too fancy, but not too plain. She paired it with a set of black capris that always made her butt look fabulous.
Then she grabbed her phone.
And hesitated.
For a second.
Then hit dial and listened to the phone ring. And ring. And ring. Until the voicemail picked up.
Wow. All day worrying and wondering and going out of her mind with regret, and Dane didn’t answer her call.
Well, that shit was unacceptable. She wanted to apologize. Not to mention, she might chicken out, so she had to do it now.
She grabbed her purse, locked the door, and headed for the place she figured he’d been since he walked out this morning.
Work.
Barry, the kindhearted security guy, who loved to show her pictures of his grandchildren, let her up to Dane’s floor without even one word of begging. The floor was eerily quiet, the lights dim, only a few on. She took her time walking down the hallway, not because she was afraid someone would pop out of one of the offices and say boo, but because that weakness she fought with all morning was starting to creep back in. What would he say to her? Would he forgive her? Or would he finally say the relationship wasn’t working? That she was too much work to deal with.
That thought made her laugh. He already had enough work to deal with.
His office door was closed when she stepped into her work area—well, now, Ms. Wallace’s area. She couldn’t have been happier when Dane gave her a chance. Sometimes all people needed was that one person to give them a chance. To show everyone they were more than a person with a record. A victim of a crime. A single mother trying to make ends meet.
Blowing out a breath, she steeled her spine. She could do this. Running her hands down her shirt to the top of her thighs, she exhaled another slow breath.
Yep. She got this.
Then she twisted the handle and opened the door.
To an empty office.
She walked inside, dumbfounded. Her eyes trailed to the gorgeous view of New York City behind his desk. She walked closer.
The sun was starting to slowly say goodbye for the day. The lights on the buildings weren’t quite lit, but she imagined it looked wonderful from his office all lit up in its glory. She looked at lady liberty, mentally making a to-do list. She needed to go see the monument with Dane at some point. She wanted to see the relaxation in his eyes, in his posture as they took a leisurely ferry ride to the statue. She wanted to see the glee and excitement in his expression as they walked around—maybe even pl
anned in advance to walk up to the top. Yes, she would go there someday—very soon—with him.
As soon as she apologized.
Turning away from the window, she glanced around his office again.
Empty.
She couldn’t believe it. She swore this was where she would’ve found him. Sure, it was Saturday, but when he wasn’t with her, he was working. Where could he be?
Well, she could always try his apartment.
She walked past his desk when another person entered his office.
Not a person she wanted to see.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Champ said in a douchey, creepy tone.
Of course, anytime he spoke, his words sounded creepy. Because he was a creep. She had seen him a few times here and there when she visited Dane at work. He always had a few words to say, but she never did. Nothing nice would come out of her mouth anyway.
Right now, she had nothing to say to him, either. She headed in his direction because, unfortunately, he stood in her pathway to exit.
As she tried to sweep past him, he grabbed her arm, stopping her with a strength that surprised her. She twisted her head, eyeing him, then his hand on her arm—the audacity—like he had a right to touch her.
“He’s playing with you.” Champ leaned closer, his mouth getting way too close to her mouth for comfort. “He’ll never love you. You’re a little toy to my brother.” His eyes lowered to her mouth. “I play better than him. I can show you.”
Her entire body shivered at his insinuation. She thought he was an asshole before for cheating on Mia. He was worse than that. She couldn’t even find the right word. Despicable. Downright disgusting.
She twisted more of her body, so she was face to face with him. His hand still held her arm like a tight vice. A slow, wicked smile emerged on his face. Like he was going to get what he wanted.
Oh, how wrong he was.
She produced her own sweet, wicked smile.
Then she brought her knee up as hard as she could into his family jewels. His hand fell from her arm as he dropped to the floor with a bellowing moan.
“You bitch,” he whispered in agony.
“And don’t you forget it.” She winked. “Champ.”
Then she walked out of the office with her goal still well in hand.
To find Dane.
And damn his brother for planting more seeds of doubt in her head.
He’ll never love you.
Sadly, she had to agree with that. While Dane gave her his attention, his affection, his devotion while they were together, sometimes she felt like she had to pry him away from his work. It was disheartening. And she didn’t think she’d ever be able to fully compete with his job.
He would never love her like he loved his work.
16
Dane half-snorted at Jaxson’s latest tale. Probably a very disturbing story if he wasn’t so drunk. Hearing about Gabriella chasing suspects and walking into danger wasn’t that funny. Except Jaxson had a way of weaving the story to make him laugh. How Gabriella could take down a brute suspect with her dainty little fingers and not even break a sweat. He could picture it. She had such a fierceness about her.
Yet, such tenderness and vulnerability that she tried to hide.
Like last night when she wanted him to leave and break down in silence and cry tears that she didn’t want anyone to see.
Damn it. He wanted to dry those tears. He wanted to be the one to comfort her and tell her everything would be okay, even though he had no idea if it would be. He wanted to share in her vulnerability and show her his when it scared him to death to show anyone any kind of weakness.
Jaxson paused with his beer close to his lips, but not touching. “You okay? You went from laughing to looking like your mother died.”
Dane twisted the bottle in his hands. His fifth…sixth. Hell, he lost count after bottle number three and the two shots that followed. Something Jaxson insisted on.
He didn’t argue. They were both wallowing in their pain. Why not wallow together? Kind of odd, considering they had disliked each other the day before. But it didn’t feel awkward.
“Dude?” Jaxson nudged his shoulder.
Looking at him, he shrugged. “It occurred to me how dangerous her job is. She could’ve died yesterday. You, too.”
They stared at each other for a second before Jaxson averted his eyes first.
“It’s not something I think about. I can’t; otherwise, it’d be hard to walk out the door. I love my job, though. So does Gabby. We both have our reasons why we do it.” Jaxson inhaled and looked back at him. “Just like I’m sure you have your reasons for working at your dad’s company when you could own your own.”
A strangled chuckle escaped. “Gabriella tell you that?”
“We work long hours together, Dane. We talk about a lot of things.” Jaxson chuckled, then shivered as his features twisted into disgust as if he saw someone throw up on his shoes. “But not everything. I don’t like to hear everything…like sex and shit.”
“Well, if you ever need any pointers, I have a lot of moves that—”
“La, la, la, la,” Jaxson started to sing loudly as he covered his ears. “We’re not going there. I have my own moves that work perfectly fine.”
Hearty laughter bellowed out. Dane took another swig of his beer after he settled down. His belly hurt from laughing so hard.
“Thanks. I needed that, Jax.”
One shoulder tilted up in a careless gesture. “Hell, what are friends for?” Jaxson started to mirror his earlier melancholy as he twisted his bottle. “I never thought I’d be sitting here with you over a couple of beers like we were old friends.” Then he clapped him on the shoulder. “But I like to think we’ve turned a corner and I can call you a friend instead of an enemy.”
Dane released a heavy breath. “Yeah, you can. As long as Gabriella hasn’t officially kicked me out of her life.”
Jaxson squeezed his shoulder, smiled, and picked his beer up again. “She gets pissed all the time at me. She’ll get over it. You two are…I’ve never seen her…your relationship…”
“It’s clearly hard for you to describe.” Dane laughed, yet nothing was funny about that.
But Jaxson’s tripped up words made sense.
He had a hard time himself figuring out their relationship. The past month had been wonderful. Spending time with her. Enjoying laughter. Delicious time between the sheets. Growing closer.
He had also been neglecting his work. Well, not necessarily neglecting it, but his mind wasn’t focused on it, and that was not normal for him. He was waiting for a mistake to pop up and bite him in the ass. Show him how truly distracting Gabriella was in his life.
But he liked her distraction.
Because he loved her.
Yet, would love be enough? It wasn’t in his family. Sure, his parents were cordial to each other. But he didn’t see an undying love in their eyes when they looked at each other. At this point in their lives, he figured they stayed together because it was comfortable and too much work to split. That wasn’t love. That was avoiding disaster.
“You’re perfect for each other. You balance each other out. There. That’s how I would describe it.”
He soaked up Jaxson’s words. Thinking hard on them.
Balanced each other out.
In a way, sure, they did.
He worked too much, and she made sure he stopped to smell the roses. Sometimes, literally.
When she needed emotional support, something he could tell she struggled with excepting, he provided it, refusing to let her push him away.
Except for today.
He walked away a little too easily. He upset their balance.
“So, you think you’ll ever start your own company? Gabs is always saying how well you’d excel at it. That it would make you happier.”
He tilted his head, his brows puckering low as he shared a look with Jaxson. Odd. She had never told him that. Was that what she tho
ught? That he wasn’t happy at his job.
He loved his work.
Hmm.
But he didn’t necessarily love his job. Love how Champ would always burst into his office without knocking. How he’d steal clients right out from underneath his nose just because he was the owner of the company. The clients thought that meant they’d get better service. Oh, how wrong they were.
“I’m not unhappy.” Which was bordering on a slight lie.
Jaxson laughed. “Yeah, but it also doesn’t sound like you’re completely happy either.”
He shrugged, hating where this conversation was turning. He’d rather dissect his relationship with Gabriella than his relationship with a company that honestly made him unhappy.
“Aren’t we supposed to end this night of debauchery with laughter and lots of drinks?” Dane tipped his bottle toward him, as if to cheers to more fun on the way. “Not this serious tone.”
“Is debauchery the right word you’re looking for?” Jaxson eyed him funnily. “Because we’re not surrounded by beautiful women right now, nor are we leaving this bar with women that aren’t Gabby and—” His eyes rounded as he realized he was about to say “Mia” as if she were his. “Well, you’re not leaving this bar with someone else.”
“You know what I meant.” Dane clicked with his bottle even though he didn’t follow through on his own. “Sorry about Mia.”
Jaxson shrugged. “Me, too.” Then he pulled out his wallet and threw his card on the bar, signaling to Brick.
Well, Dane took that as a sign the night was over for them. But he wasn’t done drinking and wallowing in his misery. Because tomorrow morning, when he had to get up and find his mother a gift and celebrate her birthday, he would not wallow ever again in misery. Not for any woman. Even Gabriella.
“I got both tabs,” Jaxson said as Brick took his card.
“I’m not leaving.”
Jaxson clapped him on the back. Hard.
“You are. You have some debauchery to do.”
Dane looked at him with his mouth twisted in confusion. “I’m not hooking up with some random woman. Is this some sort of test? Are we suddenly becoming enemies? You trying to trip me up?”
The Wrong Brother (a perfect for you novel Book 1) Page 18