by Paula Mabbel
He positioned his cock at her entrance and waited.
Puzzled, she searched for his gaze. When her eyes reached his, he thrust for the first time. She cried out and tried to pull back, instinctively.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, as he struggled to penetrate her. “You're too tight. I’m sorry.”
She swallowed hard, trying her hardest not to cry. She knew it would hurt but she had never imagined it to be like this. A confusing mix of emotions threatened to take over her mind, but she fought them. No, this was not a time to be confused. She was certain she wanted to be his and she was intent on taking the pain, any pain, if it meant bringing them closer. If it meant he would be her man.
The pain was different than anything she had experienced before. His cock struggled against her untouched body, their desire to completely belong to one another giving him the power to make her his woman.
Opening her eyes, she saw the concern on his. She felt guilty and thought that she had to meet his efforts, remind him that she wanted it as much as he did.
Taking a deep breath, she braced herself and bucked against him, increasing the pressure and the pain. He gasped and stopped the movement of his hips. Emma smiled, reassuring him of her consent and eagerness.
That was all he needed. Pulling back to gain more force, he thrust into her once, breaking every barrier keeping them separated.
She cried out loud, feeling his cock pass her tight entrance and slide inside her. The sensation was new and, after she recovered from the initial pain, she welcomed him, his cock stretching her virgin pussy at last.
Her body relaxed, giving him the freedom to enter her fully, slowly, careful not to hurt her any more.
“Baby, you’re so tight. Does it still hurt?” He had stopped thrusting when he caught a glimpse of her frowning.
“No, it doesn’t. I was just wondering how you managed to fit,” she disclosed, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.
He chuckled. “If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t gotten in entirely.”
“What? Why not?”
“I thought it hurt you.”
“How…How much more…?”
“Wanna find out?”
She nodded, more inclined to believe he was joking. She already felt full, stretched to the limit around his size. There was no way she could accommodate more of him.
He smirked, giving her a second to prepare, then rammed into her a couple of times, fast, every time thrusting deeper, until she finally took his cock to the hilt.
The pressure made her eyes water. She opened her mouth in an attempt to breathe, but her lungs stung too much.
“Fuck…” she eventually gasped, struck by both the pain and the pleasure he was causing her.
He kissed her neck and changed his rhythm, sliding in and out gently, protectively cradling her head against his arm. She held onto his shoulders, trying to keep from being pushed up the bed, but soon her limbs turned into jelly, useless against the force of his thrust.
She had experienced orgasms before, having masturbated often, but the way he was filling her now and the sensations he was awakening in her were all new and hard to take in. He got her fighting for air again, when he angled his cock upwards, thrusting steadily against her tender core.
“Oh, yes,” she dared, lost in his eyes as he watched her writhe under him.
“That's right, baby. Let it go.”
She lost her thoughts in a blissful haze as her eyes locked onto his, welcoming the finality of their shared passion. A new sensation, stronger than anything she could have dreamed of, filled her body. She wrapped her legs around his hips, nearing the agonizing release with every one of his thrusts.
As if on cue, he moved faster, thrusting deeper, until she finally rolled her eyes, her body stiffening under his gaze.
With one last moan, she came, the beginning of a different kind of orgasm taking hold of her body and mind.
“Ridley,” she mumbled, as her body shuddered with the last waves of her orgasm.
“Yes, baby, yes. God, you’re perfect,” he tried to speak, as he rammed into her some more.
Oblivious to anything else but the bliss they shared, he came undone, completely lost in her lustful eyes.
Sweat beads glistened on his forehead as he collapsed on top of her, his lips gently brushing on her neck.
Emma felt so tired that she barely acknowledged his kiss. The experience of the last few hours had gotten the better of her and she drifted off to sleep, completely at ease and safe in his arms.
*****
She had planned on coming home Sunday afternoon at the latest, knowing that she had to work on her essay, but ended up sneaking into her room on Monday morning.
Too busy learning to ride by herself, gathering info on his horse rescue center, or making crazy hot love with Ridley, she had completely forgotten about coursework.
“Oh, my God,” she whimpered, barely dragged herself to her desk.
It took her half an hour to fumble through her books, and more than two hefty cups of strong coffee, before she could manage to write down the first line.
Only a miracle of nature made it possible for her to finish her essay just in time for the first seminar. A cold shower helped her muster just enough energy to survive through the course so she could deliver her work after class.
Having skipped her noon class to catch up on some sleep, she had to deal with her roommate's scrutinizing stare all day. On top of that, she felt lousy for hours, a strange case of an upset stomach tormenting her on and off.
Her mood improved significantly in the evening, when Ridley called. Emma giggled like a little girl, too happy to hear his voice.
Everything seemed perfect until he gave her the dreadful news.
“Tomorrow I would be gone the entire day, so don’t be upset if I don’t pick up, alright, doll?”
“What?” She felt sick to her stomach again.
“Well, you know how your phone didn’t get a signal when your car broke down? I’ll be in the same situation tomorrow.”
She sighed.
“Now, don’t be like that, baby girl. Tomorrow evening I’ll be back home.”
She could surely survive the day, right?
Too tired to think too much about the next day, Emma slept like a log. In the morning she had to face the fact that they would be completely apart for the entire day.
During classes, she struggled to focus enough to take notes, too busy counting the seconds until she would hear his voice again.
The huge amount of reading she had to do, on top of the mandatory essays, didn't do anything to improve her mood.
“Well, maybe it’s a good thing. It’ll keep my mind occupied,” she tried to think positively. It didn't work, especially not on an empty stomach.
It turned out that a humble PB&J was the perfect source of mental energy. Soon, she was so focused on her work that she didn't even hear her roommate coming in. In fact, she managed to go through almost half of the things on her to-do list before her phone finally rang. Checking the time, she was surprised to see it was almost midnight. Ridley's caller ID could only come as a sweet reward for a good day's work.
“Hey,” she cooed, abandoning her school books.
She confessed to him that her day was difficult without him, information that he seemed to like.
“Of course you missed me, baby girl. You're mine,” he stated with confidence.
“I can't bear another day like this,” Emma cried, her lips pursing into a pout.
“Oh, dear. This was nothing, baby. Sometimes I go for more than one day at a time.”
He sounded cheerful, like he wanted to make light of the situation. Emma felt broken.
“When?”
“What?”
“When do you have to leave for days?” she asked again, her voice small. She felt on the brink of crying.
“Oh, let me think. I believe I have some obligations with a friend of mine next week. Why?”
“Around three days. Now, don’t be sad, baby…”
“Can I come see you this weekend?”
Her heart sank listening to his silence.
“This weekend I have some things to help my momma with. I’m home every night, but during the day I'm engaged, baby.”
Long after the conversation had ended, she couldn't shake the sadness. Where she usually spent hours working through the night, she couldn’t find any motivation tonight. She just sulked in bed, too blue to even think straight. What was the point of everything?
At some point, her body won and she fell asleep.
The alarm woke her up from a restless sleep, and she needed a few long seconds before she could manage to rise to her feet.
Splashing some cold water on her face, she got an idea. Why not go see him tonight? She welcomed the idea with a mischievous smile.
She sent him a text before class, notifying him of the change of plans.
His typical reply came almost immediately: “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
*****
Emma almost dropped her head on the table. She couldn't remember ever being so tired.
Looking around, she realized she was completely alone in this section of the library, which was nothing out of the ordinary since there were no exams this time of year.
She shuffled the books in front of her and sighed again.
“Maybe if I sleep a little bit, I will be just fine. I only need a couple of hours, right?” she thought, closing her books one by one.
She hadn’t retained any of the information on the last pages anyway.
Deciding that going back to her room would only take more precious time, she laid her head on the heavy table and fell asleep the next second.
The exhaustion of juggling the heavy coursework she had picked for this semester and constantly driving down to see Ridley was starting to get to her.
Over the last few weeks she had disregarded more and more of her obligations, unable to help herself from being with him. Several times a week she slept at his place, taking advantage of the few days he wasn’t away this time of year, and always driving back to campus as late as possible. She hadn’t skipped a class in her life until now. This last week she had attended only half of her courses, missing even a mandatory lecture.
She had tried to make up for it by staying late and doing as much work as was physically possible, but four hours a night, seven days a week had depleted her energy.
From all the stress troubling her lately, Emma had a nightmare that woke her up from her library catnap in a startle. She hugged herself, cold sweat trickling down her spine.
The automatic lights on several of the empty sections of the library had turned themselves off, and darkness surrounded her on three sides. Shivering, she gathered her books and hurried out.
The night sky was clear, shy stars twinkling on the vast canvas above the campus, but she couldn’t see them. She was too tired and her only mission was to get to her bed, to hell with coursework.
A migraine was pressing on her temples and she feared it would keep her from falling asleep. Once in the dorm room, she searched the bathroom for some painkillers, but couldn’t find any. The pain felt like a weight on her head and she knew that if she wanted to make the most out of what was left of the night, she needed to take care of it.
Careful not to make a sound, already feeling guilty for bailing on her roommate a few days ago when she was too tired to remember she had promised to attend a protest Mary had organized, Emma sneaked into Mary’s room and rummaged through her nightstand.
“What are you doing?” Mary’s sleepy vice startled her.
“Nothing, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just needed a painkiller.”
She stepped back, ashamed.
“Check the glass bowl. What time is it anyway?”
“A few minutes past 3. Go back to sleep,” Emma whispered, relieved to find the pills.
“Why were you up so late?”
“I…had to do some work for one of my courses.”
“You mean you had to catch up with the rest of the world?”
She shrugged, not wanting to explain herself. Every time her roommate started questioning her, Emma became defensive. The other reason she had let her roommate down last week was because Mary had expressed her doubts about Emma’s relationship with Ridley. She had said it was too intense to end well and the conversation had ended in an argument.
Emma scurried out of Mary’s room before another confrontation arose.
“You know it’s crazy to be up this late night after night. You’re going to kill yourself. And for what?” she heard her roommate, who seemed to shuffle out of bed.
“Mary, I have a headache. I am in no mood for your lectures right now, OK? Good night.”
She felt her anger rising and thanked God she was too tired to give in to it.
Once in bed, she fell into a deep sleep fast, her body eager to repair itself.
Her alarm went completely unnoticed, but a hand shaking her shoulder woke her up unceremoniously.
“What?” she mumbled, unable to open her eyes.
“You need to wake up. Now,” her roommate ordered.
Emma was too tired to reply and was already drifting back to sleep when she felt the warmth of coffee steam right under her nose. This was tempting enough to make her open her eyes, sit up, and face the dreadful conversation she sensed was coming her way.
Dangling her feet over the edge of the bed, she grabbed the mug with both hands and decided to keep her eyes on the ground for the ordeal.
“Well?” Mary demanded, after a few minutes of tense silence.
“Why don’t you spell it out, Mary?”
“You want to be like that?Fine.”
She stormed out of the room and Emma thought she could finally breathe easily, but Mary came back shortly, having brought her pocket mirror.
“Look. I don't need to tell you anything. See for yourself,” she said, thrusting the mirror in Emma’s hand.
She wanted to be stubborn and averted her eyes. Her effort proved to be futile, her tired eyes managing to catch a glimpse of the reflection. She gasped.
Her face was pale, the dark circles under her eyes bluish against the fairness of her complexion. Bloodshot eyes and lifeless hair completed a picture of pure misery. Just like she felt.
She smacked her lips and felt her mouth go dry and cottony. Her hands were shaking, and she barely had the strength not to spill her coffee.
Defeated, she dropped the mirror in her lap, turning it face down, too ashamed to see herself.
“Shall I ask again?” Mary boomed.
“What do you want?” Emma whispered, too weak to fight.
“I want you to be well. You’ve seen yourself. Do you think you look well?”
“What do you want me to do?” Emma insisted, looking up at her roommate.
“Something! You cannot go on like this. Do you hear me? You’ll die before graduation. Hell, before the end of the semester!”
“I just have a bit of a backlog, that’s it. I’ll talk to my teachers, maybe see a counselor, and I’ll get through it.”
“You’re not listening to me.”
Emma met her gaze. She truly didn't understand what her friend wanted.
“Are you going to see him tonight?” Mary asked softly, changing tactics.
The thought of Ridley holding her brought a smile to her lips. She did want to see him tonight, but was afraid she wouldn’t manage. But she had already planned to leave some of the already past-due work for tomorrow. One night with him would give her just enough energy to work.
“See? That’s what’s wrong with you!”
“I don't understand you, Mary. What do you want? Just spell it out.” Emma was starting to feel irritated.
“Look, it’s your life, after all, and I can't tell you what to do…”
“That’s right,
you can't,” Emma cut her off.
Mary raised her eyebrows, for a second looking like she wanted to retaliate. But then she backed off. Turning for the door, she threw over her shoulder:
“I see you can’t see anything past his cowboy boots. Find a way to make it work, if you want him so much that you’re willing to give up your health and your dreams. If he means more to you than your future as a pediatrician, then marry him or something. But you can't do both. You’ll kill yourself.”