He threaded his fingers through her hair to hold her looking at him. “I am aware of that. But I see nothing wrong with trying.”
“And while you’re trying, who’s watching out for you?”
Nicholas felt his own jaw slacken. “Why would I need anyone watching out for me?” He bent and gave her forehead a kiss, then took her hand from around his waist and started walking again. “If the day should come that my back needs guarding, it will be too late because I’ll already be dead.”
He looked down when she snorted. “You’re not one of those ancient gods you’ve named your cats after, you know. Even they weren’t invincible.”
He watched the road again. “Are you sure about that, Julia?”
“You see any of them walking around today? I took some world mythology classes when I lived in Orono, and near as I can tell, all the gods—of every mythology—were so busy fighting one another that they didn’t even notice when they became extinct.”
“Why?” he asked in surprise.
“Because they were all power-hungry idiots.”
“No, why did you study world mythology?”
He glanced down to see her shrug. “One of the brothers at the fraternity house I worked at was majoring in anthropology, and one day I picked up his book on European mythology and got sucked in. Once I got through the Celtic and Norse gods, I started sneak—I started taking classes on the various deities and legends.” She gave another soft snort. “All the ancient gods had more drama going on than soap operas do today. And the sex,” she said, smiling up at him. “Who needs romance novels when we can read about all those horny gods and goddesses?”
Nicholas brought them to a stop and stared down at her, undecided if he was amazed by her interest in mythology or really very disturbed. “You think the gods are—” He stilled, looking toward the hairpin turn to see Sol suddenly scurry into the woods. “Someone’s coming,” he said, leading Julia off the road. He swept her into his arms when they reached the ditch and carried her up the steep bank into the trees, then sat down with her on his lap. “I assumed you didn’t want anyone seeing us together,” he offered in explanation when she finished sputtering.
She settled into him with a sigh. “There you go being a hero again,” she said, patting his chest. “Which brings us back to your needing someone to watch out for you. I wasn’t talking about anyone actually trying to kill you when I said that; I was thinking about Wanda Beckman.”
Nicholas didn’t quite manage to stifle another shudder.
“She’s really not that bad, you know. I think Wanda’s just lonely. And probably tired,” she added as she snuggled into his embrace. “Garret Beckman wasn’t exactly up for any husband of the year awards before he ran off with his best friend’s wife, leaving Wanda to raise three children all by herself with no financial support.” She tilted her head back and smiled up at him. “And since there haven’t been any rainstorms of frogs for women to kiss hoping they’ll find Prince Charming, you’re the next best thing.”
Headlights arced through the darkness just as the sound of an engine laboring against the weight of a vehicle descending the steep incline broke the nighttime silence, and Julia sat a little straighter. “That’s Reggie’s truck,” she said when it came into view around the curve, giving a snicker when it drove past them. “And that would be Katy cuddled up next to him.” She in turn cuddled up against him again. “Sorry, I guess you can’t be everyone’s hero.”
“I’d settle for being yours,” he said quietly.
All that declaration got him was another pat on the chest. “Again, sorry,” she murmured with a yawn. “But I don’t need a big strong man to swoop in and save me.”
“Are you falling asleep on me?”
She nodded against him. “I tell you what; tomorrow I’ll take your men out for a little paintball hide-and-seek and you deal with my bride and mother and dear Berdy.”
“Why didn’t you drive your cart down?”
She tilted her head back again. “I was afraid the battery would die on my way back home and I’d have to call somebody to tow it back up the mountain, and I didn’t want to explain why I’d driven my cart down the resort road in the first place.”
“Then why not use your truck?”
She sat up. “And have the guard at the bottom gate decide I must have driven off a cliff when I didn’t eventually show up, and have him send out a search party?”
Nicholas lifted her to her feet to keep from growling in frustration, then stood up and took hold of her hand. “You just had to tell the guard at the top gate that you were only going as far as my house,” he said, leading her out of the trees and then helping her across the ditch.
She shrugged free and shoved her hands in her pockets as she headed up the road at a brisk pace, making Nicholas wonder when their conversation had driven off a cliff. “You don’t have to walk me all the way home,” she said when he fell into step beside her again.
“Yes, I do. I’ll just ride Phantom back. I have a stall for him in my garage.”
He sensed her relaxing, apparently glad to have the conversation back on safe ground—not that he was letting it stay there. By the gods, he was finding out tonight why she refused to get married again, even if he had to toss the lady over his saddle and kidnap her. He suddenly grinned, thinking he may have been spending too much time around the MacKeage men, as the highlanders’ fondness for stealing their women appeared to be contagious.
And according to Julia, he did have a bad habit of helping himself to things.
“That’s your horse’s name—Phantom?” she asked, slowly inching closer as her breathing increased with the steepness of the road. “Because he’s gray, like a ghost?”
“No, because he’s really a figment of the imagination.”
That got him a glance, and a sigh, and then her hand slipping into his.
Yes, the poor woman was definitely waging an internal battle.
And to Nicholas’s delight, he appeared to be winning.
They continued on in companionable silence again, and by the time they reached the upper guard house, Nicholas realized Julia’s energy truly was flagging when she didn’t bother to let go of his hand as they walked past the grinning guard. And not being one to pass up an opportunity, he justified taking advantage of her fatigue by deciding a little persistent questioning might be less upsetting than being kidnapped—although probably not as much fun.
He did, however, wait until they’d passed the common green in deference to the guests sitting out under the stars enjoying what he suspected was only one of a few more warm evenings for a while. But as soon as they entered the wooded path running past the barn, he asked, “Could you explain something to me, Julia?”
“Mmmm, what?”
“The two times we’ve made love, why did you insist I move on without you?”
She stopped walking and dropped her hand from his as she continued staring straight ahead and said nothing.
“I need to understand.”
“There is nothing to understand, because it’s no big deal.”
“Of course it is. A man’s greatest pleasure is sharing it with someone.”
She finally turned to face him and looked up, but there wasn’t enough light for him to read her expression—although he did hear her pull in a ragged breath. “Let me put it another way, then. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Please, Nicholas, don’t spoil the most beautiful, most mind-blowing sex I’ve ever had.”
“Mind-blowing?” he repeated, even more confused. “Julia,” he quietly growled, “make me understand.”
She dropped her gaze to stare at his chest. “You want to know the real education I got while I lived in Orono? It wasn’t from any textbook or class, but what I learned from the frat brothers. And that’s that men want to fix stuff.” She looked up. “Anything and everything, even if they know nothing about it; they just want to fix it. And that’s why we can’t . . . That’s why this won’t work between us.” She
smiled sadly. “If you were one of those selfish men who only worried about what’s in it for him, then we might stand a chance. But you’re not, are you? You’re one of the nice guys who insist on giving a woman pleasure. And if it’s not happening, you only get more determined. And the more you try, the more pressure it’s going to put on me, and the less likely it becomes that it’s ever going to happen.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance, Julia.”
“Would you prefer I had faked it? Because I swear you never would have been the wiser.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I won’t ever lie to someone who treats me with respect, and who makes me feel beautiful and sexy and more alive than I’ve been in forever.”
He touched one of her wild curls. “It’s probably just a matter of your becoming comfortable with me.”
“I’m not broken, Nicholas. But this . . . thing between us soon would be, because you would keep trying.” She laid her hand on his chest. “Why is it so all-fired important that I come, anyway? I can give myself an orgasm anytime I want. But what I can’t give myself is the warmth, the intimacy, the feeling of being cherished, of knowing I turn you on. I can’t wrap myself up in big strong arms and shiver at the feel of you moving inside me. And from where I stand, that’s way more important than some stupid old orgasm. Please, Nicholas,” she whispered, dropping her hand, “let it go. Better yet, let me go.”
“I can’t, Julia.” He gently embraced her when she rested her forehead against him with a heavy sigh, and pressed his lips to her hair. “It became too late last night.” He tilted her head back and smiled down at her. “So that’s it? That’s the reason you’ve been fighting my pursuit?”
“What do you mean, that’s it? From where I stand, that’s a darn good reason.”
“Why?”
She reared back as far as his embrace would allow, and there was more than enough moonlight for him to see her scowl. “Because you’re a damn hero,” she snapped. She wiggled an arm free and waved at nothing. “You run around trying to save the world one woman and cat at a time. But for your information, I don’t need Prince Charming to come riding in on his big gray horse and fix me, because I’m not broken.”
Nicholas got right down in her face. “For your information, I’m no prince, and I’m definitely not charming. And you know what else I’m not?” he asked more softly, tightening his embrace when he felt her trembling again. “I’m not trying to save you, Julia, but hoping you would have the courage to save me.”
He kissed her then, gently, tenderly, maybe even desperately, then released her and stepped back, and turned and walked away. He was halfway to the barn before he knew she was no longer staring after him, and turned to see her walking toward her apartment—Solomon walking beside her.
Nicholas folded his arms over his chest, undecided how he felt about Julia’s little revelation. Of all the lovely lady’s real or imagined demons he’d been prepared to battle to win her heart, he’d never once considered he might have to fight himself.
Because she was right; he would become fixated if not obsessed with giving her pleasure. But not because he wasn’t one of those selfish men she’d spoken of, but because he was; because he very selfishly wanted all of her.
Chapter Sixteen
Julia sat at her large cherry desk with her head lying on her baby-soft tote and wondered if weddings might be contagious. Not halfway through Adeline and dear Berdy’s boisterous bonfire reception, two separate parties of curious resort guests had wandered up to the summit and eventually approached Nova Mare’s semihysterical director of special events, wanting to book their own . . . venturesome Maine woods wedding—complete with hot dogs and s’mores and cases and cases of the state’s various microbrewery beers.
One of the parties had very sensibly asked if there were any openings for next June, but a twentysomething couple from Texas—with a recently inherited trust fund apparently burning a hole in the woman’s pocket—had asked Julia to please make it happen tomorrow. That way they could have an abbreviated honeymoon hiking the wilderness before they had to fly to California so the woman could be a bridesmaid in her friend’s plain old boring beach wedding next weekend.
And since it was too short of a notice for family and friends to drop what they were doing to attend, the couple wanted to invite all the resort guests so their bonfire would be just as boisterous as the one going on now. And could Julia please find a local artisan to design them a pair of unique folk-artsy wedding bands? Oh, and also make sure they left with an album of photos that juxtaposed them with the rugged surroundings, the bride-to-be had gone on to ask, so she could show everyone at her friend’s wedding how her marriage was going to embrace both the civilized world and the wilderness.
It appeared that Adeline Rauch—now Frau Altbusser—had been trumpeting that little axiom all over the resort yesterday, and would probably have it engraved on their wedding portrait hanging over their mantel on the off chance no one got it.
Julia didn’t bother to lift her head when she realized someone had silently walked up to her desk, as she would recognize that wonderfully delicious smell from her grave. “Go away, Nicholas. I’m very busy.”
“I can see that,” he said, the deep timbre of his voice washing over her like a warm gentle rain.
Which reminded her . . . “Thank you for arranging the nice weather and beautiful sunset.” She finally sat up to give him a smile. “And for the extra security. The team leader you sent—Dante, he said his name was—was very kind. Somebody must have told him it was my first event, and he spent most of the reception by my side while directing his men.” Seeing Nicholas’s sky-blue eyes suddenly light with amusement, Julia laid her head back on her tote. “Anyway, I appreciate your guards’ not letting any of the boisterous guests get lost in the woods or tumble down the mountain and then making sure everyone got back to their rooms okay.”
“You say his name was Dante?” he asked, the amusement she’d seen in his eyes reaching his voice. “Did he happen to be sporting a small cut on his cheek where a well-aimed . . . rock may have struck him four days ago?”
Julia bolted upright. “You sent one of the idiots who shot me to guard my event?”
“I told him to leave his paintball gun at home,” he said, that amusement finally escaping on a chuckle, “and suggested he might want to make sure tonight went smoothly for the one person standing between him and a long swim home.”
Julia hid her face in her hands and slumped down on her tote again. “And to think I was going to send you a letter to put in his file saying how kind he was,” she muttered, “and he was just sucking up to keep his job.”
She peeked past her fingers to see one of Nicholas’s big strong hands press down on the desk beside her and felt him bend closer. “Dante is no more kind than I am,” he said, a distinctly not amused edge in his voice. “And if he’d gone after you instead of coming to get me, he’d have caught you within minutes.”
Julia rolled her chair back to slide out from under him and stood up. “Yes, well, it was very ki—thoughtful of you to hang around to walk me home. But I’m driving my cart, since Trisha managed to get us all moved into the event planner’s cottage before she took off for New York.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “Actually, I’m here to take Rana home.”
Julia spun away to hide the heat rushing to her cheeks and walked over to grab her jacket off the chair. “Oh, I forgot she mentioned that Titus and Mac are away on business,” she said brightly, facing the windows as she put on her jacket and took her time zipping it up, wondering if she shouldn’t throw herself off the mountain. “Rana should be right along. She’s in the bathroom helping one of our assistants fix her hair from where a flying, flaming marshmallow singed it.” She snatched her tote off her desk and headed for the door. “Thanks again for the extra security. Oh!” she gasped, stepping back to avoid bumping into one of her staff—only to bump into Nicholas as he’d apparen
tly been trying to beat her to the door again. “Everything secure on the summit, Greg?” she asked, smacking Nicholas with her tote as she swung it onto her shoulder, then stifling a smile when she heard him sigh. “You guys made sure the bonfire is completely out?”
The twenty-year-old vigorously nodded even though his widened eyes were looking behind her, his face flushing as he finally lowered his gaze. “Um, yeah. We put enough water on it to drown a whale. And we made sure the wardrobe tents were all closed up like you said. And a couple of security guards,” he added, his gaze lifting to Nicholas again, “helped us search the woods with flashlights to make sure we didn’t miss any guests who might have wandered off.”
“Where’s Paul?” Julia asked, drawing the boy’s attention again.
“He’s putting the leftover beer in the storage room.”
And probably a couple of cases in his locker, she silently added.
Holy Hades, she didn’t know which was more exhausting, the three days of prep work or sweating bullets through the actual event. Because she really wasn’t sure she could have pretended all was fine if everything had suddenly imploded around her. Heck, she’d nearly had a heart attack when the groom—apparently needing a little liquid courage to ride in and whisk his bride off into what ended up being a moonrise instead of a sunset—had actually mounted the steed backward.
No, dear Berdy probably wasn’t going to see his golden anniversary, because he was going to die trying to live up to Adeline’s expectations.
“Okay then,” Julia said with more enthusiasm than she was feeling, since it was nearly one in the morning. “I officially call the Rauch-Altbusser wedding a wrap. One of the security guards is waiting to drive you guys down the mountain to your cars, and I don’t expect to see any of you back here until eleven—no, make that ten A.M.” She turned her smile up a couple of notches and aimed it at Ariel and Merriam when they came walking over with Rana. “Because as of ten tomorrow, we are officially on the Petty-Ringwood wedding. And that means we’re going to need at least a hundred and fifty new marshmallow sticks and another bonfire lit by five P.M.,” she said excitedly to her gaping staff, Paul also having walked up. “Because we did such an amazing job tonight, we get to do this all again tomorrow night. Isn’t that wonderful?”
The Heart of a Hero Page 21