CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
‘You are going to take a few days off now, aren’t you?’
‘Of course I am. I’m not completely insane.’
‘Well, that’s open to debate. Here.’
Matt handed his wife a cup of tea he’d bought downstairs in the hospital canteen. Then they looked down at her bandaged hands and he held it to her lips instead.
She took a sip and smiled her thanks at him.
‘You have no idea how good that tastes. They’ve given me painkillers so they’ll kick in in a minute. And, yes, of course, as soon as I get home I’m staying there. I’m signed off for the next two weeks, more if I need it.’
He shrugged.
‘Sure what’s to be done now, anyway? You have the girl.’
Claire resisted the temptation to give Matt a long, detailed explanation of the paperwork, and the rest, that had to be done before the Gilmore kidnap case was brought to a conclusion. It was best, she reckoned, to keep things simple.
‘Richard was caught at Holyhead,’ she told him. ‘He’s being brought back for questioning. We’ll have to talk to Eileen again too, and Leah, when she’s up to it.’
Her husband nodded, but Claire could tell he wasn’t really listening. Instead he pulled his chair closer to her bed and took a sip of his tea.
‘Claire – can we talk?’
‘We are talking.’
‘Not about work. About everything else.’
The burns on Claire’s hands were throbbing and the heavy-duty painkillers she had taken were threatening to bring the shutters down on her eyes, but this conversation was long overdue so she nodded at him to keep going.
‘You never told me – we haven’t had a chance to talk about it – what happened at the doctor’s?’
A prickle of irritation forced her eyes open wide.
‘Of course I didn’t tell you! Come on, Matt, it wasn’t the first thing on my mind, these past few days.’
‘I know. But I’m asking you now. How did you get on?’
‘We had a long talk.’
‘Well, that’s why you went there! But what did the doctor say? Did she recommend tests or . . .’
Claire swallowed. It was so tempting now to tell him she was too tired, to let those lovely tablets do their work, to sink into the hospital bed and put off this conversation for another day. But she owed him more than that.
‘I didn’t ask her about tests.’
Matt sat very still.
‘How do you mean you didn’t ask her? What else did you talk about? That was why you went to the doctor in the first place, wasn’t it? To see why it was taking so long for us to get pregnant this time – to see if there was anything we could do?’
‘I didn’t ask her about tests. I told her I didn’t want to be pregnant.’
‘What?’
Her hands were really hurting now, the blood pumping through her body too close to the surface.
‘I asked her about going back on the Pill, if that was the best thing to do at my age or if she’d recommend something else. I’ve been thinking about it, Matt, and I don’t want another baby.’
‘But we decided!’
Claire shook her head.
‘We didn’t decide. You did. You assumed we’d go again. The thing is, Matt, I’m finding it really tough, keeping everything going. I adore Anna and I love being her mother, but I feel like I’m just about keeping everything together at the moment, the job, everything. I don’t think I have it in me to do it all over again, to keep the job going with another child and more responsibility and—’
‘So it’s about the job.’
Claire closed her eyes but there was no escaping the sneer in her husband’s tone.
‘The precious job. It means more to you than anything, doesn’t it, Detective?’
She could take it, she supposed, let him rant, get it out of his system. But he wasn’t being fair, and Claire valued fairness above everything.
‘That’s not it, and you know it, Matt. I adore Anna and I love being a mother. Not wanting another child doesn’t change that. It’s just . . . I’m managing at the moment but I don’t think I could cope if we had another one. And I’m not sure if you—’
‘Don’t bring me into this!’
Matt was furious now.
‘Don’t you dare speak for me.’
‘I’m sorry.’
Matt jumped to his feet, the sudden movement causing tea from her cup to slop onto the bedside locker.
‘And do you have room for me in all of this? Do you have room for me? With your job, and your child, and your responsibilities?’
‘Of course I do, Matt.’
But he’d walked out of the cubicle so quickly that she wasn’t sure he’d heard.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Eyes closed. Throat stinging. Hands throbbing. Mind racing. Where was she? Eyes open. In hospital. Here. Safe.
‘You’re safe now, Leah.’
The woman raised her hand as if she were going to pat Leah’s arm, then withdrew it at the last minute. The woman’s hands were bandaged, Leah noticed. As were her own.
‘The man who took you – Richard – has been arrested. He can’t hurt you now.’
Leah’s mouth opened, but no words came out. She swallowed, and tried again.
‘Good.’
It was only a croak, but the woman understood it. She wasn’t just any woman, though, was she?
‘You’re the one who saved me.’
The woman gave a brief smile.
‘Well, it wasn’t just me. My colleague was there, and there were several others close behind us.’
There had been three police cars, Leah thought. Blue flashing lights and sirens. Four, maybe five officers? No one else, no TV cameras or her parents weeping. Funny, the things she had once thought were important.
‘I only remember you, really.’
‘That’s okay. I’m sure more details will come back to you when you’ve rested for a while.’
Leah half closed her eyes again.
‘I’m not sure I want to remember any of it, to be honest with you.’
The woman’s voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it now too.
‘It would be good if you could remember, Leah. We’ll need to talk to you about what happened. Richard has been arrested and there will be a trial.’
Leah’s heart began to race and her eyes widened.
‘I don’t want to see him!’
The guard raised her hand, not quite masking a wince as she did so.
‘It’s okay, Leah, calm down. Nothing is going to happen today or any time soon. Just get better now. We’ll talk to you when you’re well enough.’
Leah settled back on the pillow, and then another thought occurred to her.
‘Where’s my mum?’
The policewoman’s gaze flickered to the door, then back.
‘She’ll be here in a minute. She was sitting with you for hours. She didn’t leave your side after you were brought in. But I told her I needed to talk to you so she’s gone to visit someone else for a minute. She’ll be back soon.’
‘Okay.’
Leah closed her eyes. Being awake hurt too much, her chest, her legs and her burned hands. She wanted to go back to sleep and she wanted the woman to go away. But the woman was still talking.
‘I had a long chat with your mum yesterday about the night Alan Delaney died.’
Leah could feel her heart rate increase again, but she kept her eyes closed. This time she was thankful for the croak in her voice.
‘I don’t want to talk about that right now. I’m very tired.’
‘Your mum said she drove Alan up Kennockmore that night. She says you and she were in the car, and that when he jumped out she followed him up the hil
l.’
Leah said nothing. Always the best policy, she found.
‘Your mum says he ran away following an argument and that she came back to the car and drove you home. Is that how you remember it, Leah?’
‘Yeah. Sure. It was a long time ago.’
‘Not that long.’
There it was again, that edge to her tone. Jesus, where did she get off speaking to people like that? Sick people, in a hospital. Shouldn’t there be a nurse here? But the guard was still talking.
‘I’m not sure I believe her, though, Leah. Should I?’
Leah kept her eyes closed. Nurses were supposed to keep an eye on their patients, weren’t they? Not let them get upset.
As if she had read Leah’s mind, the guard sighed.
‘I asked for a few minutes alone with you, Leah. Your mum didn’t mind, and the nurses said they’d leave us alone. We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?’
If I don’t open my eyes, Leah thought, she’ll go away.
But the voice continued:
‘I’m just not sure it happened quite like that, that night on Kennockmore. There’s Alan’s final Facebook message, for a start. The way your Mum tells it, he was running away, angry, drunk, in the midst of an argument. What happened next just doesn’t ring true to me.”
‘I don’t feel well.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that, Leah, and I’ll get someone for you in a minute. But first, would you like to tell me what you remember?’
‘My head is spinning. I think I’m going to faint.’
‘Okay, Leah, we’ll leave it there, so. After all, we’ve plenty of time, haven’t we? To catch up. To get everything straight. So, you just concentrate on getting better, yeah? And I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry about that. I’ll see you soon.’
A creak, and the woman must have stood up from her chair. A swish and she had walked out of the room, leaving Leah alone.
She didn’t want to be alone. Surely there would be a doctor along in a minute to check up on her, a nurse to take her blood pressure, see how she was doing. No one came.
What did that guard mean, anyway, that they’d ‘catch up’? There was nothing more to say about that night on Kennockmore. Alan Delaney was gone and nothing was going to change that.
*
‘Give me the phone.’
The ground had been wet under their feet, sticky with leaves and sticks and churned-up mud.
‘You’ll have to catch me first.’
That was what a little kid would have said, she thought, as he sprinted away from her – and that was all he was, really. She looked back and saw her mother’s face, pale in the driver’s seat of the car. The window rolled down.
‘Be careful, Leah! I don’t think you should go after him.’
‘It’s my problem, Mum. I’ll handle it.’
Rain was trickling down the back of her jacket, her feet were buckling in unsuitable shoes, but she couldn’t let him get away with it, couldn’t let him get away.
‘You want this, Leah? You’ll have to get it.’
He was slowing down now. He’d had a lot to drink and he wasn’t local, there was no way he knew the hill as well as she did. Breathing heavily, she came within a few centimetres of him and lunged for the phone.
‘Nope. Not getting it.’
He swung his hand upwards and laughed mirthlessly, like a bully in a playground.
‘Give me that phone!’
It had been a mistake, she realized, to let him see how desperate she was, and he speeded up again, running away from her, the light from the phone bobbing as he ducked through trees.
A question floated back.
‘What will you give me for it?’
‘What do you want?’
‘You know what I want, Leah.’
A sudden stop and she nearly careered into him, then grabbed at a tree to get her balance. They were at the top of the hill. For a moment, both stood still. Silence descended. The tide was in. The sea would be lapping at the rocks hundreds of feet below, but the sound didn’t reach that far. It was just the two of them, and the glowing phone. And the photographs.
He reached out his index finger, unlocked the screen and began flicking through the images.
‘I reckon this is the best one for Twitter. What do you think?’
Laughing, he held out the screen to her.
Her stomach flipped as she took in her hair, Shane’s nakedness, the vacant look on her face, which was half turned to the camera.
‘Or maybe Instagram.’
‘Give it to me!’
She was crying now, and desperate, and Alan picked up on her fear.
‘Not unless you make a promise. Not unless you tell me you can get what I want.’
‘Okay, I’ll do it. Anything. Just give me the phone.’
She reached forward, but he jerked his hand upwards, using his height to mock her. Leah could feel her tears dry, her temper rise. No one bullied her like that, no one.
‘Give me the phone!’
She pulled hard at the sleeve of his jacket. Surprised, he took a step backwards, then grinned at her.
‘Getting feisty, are you, Leah? Think you’re going to fight me on it? Well—’
But while he was talking she darted forward and grabbed the device. He jerked his hand away – and his smile faded. His arms windmilled and, for a moment, it looked as if he had righted himself, but then he put one foot back to balance himself and it hit against a stone.
‘Jesus.’
The hand holding the phone reached out for her. Leah moved forwards. Then she lifted the phone out of Alan Delaney’s grasp and watched as he wobbled again, then took a step backwards, then another and then disappeared from view. He didn’t make a sound as he was falling, and she didn’t look over the side to see where he had landed. She just looked at the phone, its screen still unlocked. It took only a moment to delete the photos. Then another thought occurred to her. I’m sick of this shit.
After she had posted the words, Leah turned off the phone then flung it over the edge and walked back down the hill to where her mother was waiting.
‘It’s all fine, Mum. I got him to delete them. He’s still up there. He said he needed to think. Let’s leave it, okay? Just drop me home.’
*
Leah and her mum never spoke about that night again. And now the cop was saying that her mum was going to insist SHE had been up there with Alan Delaney? Fair enough. Leah wasn’t really surprised her mum would do that, after all, it was what mums did, wasn’t it? Looked out for their kids. And yeah, that guard, Claire whatever her name was might be suspicious, but she had no way of proving anything. Leah’s breathing slowed. She was so tired now, it was time for a rest. There was nothing to be afraid of. She was safe now. Only she and Alan Delaney really knew what had happened on Kennockmore that night and neither of them was going to say anything. She just had to keep her nerve, and everything was going to be okay.
EPILOGUE
Eileen, 2016
‘It’s good to see you, Eileen. I’m sure you don’t believe me but it’s true.’
Heather looked older, far older, than she’d seemed in the surgery, which had been only, what, three days ago? Or three years. Time, Eileen thought, was slipping again.
‘I came in to tell you how sorry I am. For everything.’
But that was the wrong way round, wasn’t it? It was Eileen who was supposed to be apologizing, for break-ins and guns and stolen children and, oh, God, what had happened? It was all mixed up in her mind. But the little girl had been found, that was the main thing. Such a sweet little thing, playing with Alan on the other side of the table. Train tracks in the sugar. A cherry bun.
‘And I want you to know we’ll help you, Fergal and myself, once you’re out of here. We should have offered to do it a long
time ago.’
It was very cold in the café today. In the hospital. She was in a hospital. It was chilly, and her head was aching. Maybe Heather could close the window. But it was her birthday and she had to mind her dress. It was important not to get curry sauce on it. She was holding her hand, now, Heather was. That was kind of her. She could be very kind.
‘There’s something else I want you to know.’
Eileen wasn’t just cold, she was freezing, chilled to the bone, and her skin was contracting, as if it were too small for her bones. Darts of electricity prickled across her scalp. Maybe if they drew the curtains it would help. But Heather was still talking.
‘My – my ex, Marc, he’ll said he’ll go to the guards tomorrow, when things have settled down. He says there’s a lot he didn’t tell them about his business. He thought he’d got away with it, but he says that was the wrong way to look at it. He wants to make amends. His solicitor thinks he’s mad, that he might go to jail. But he’s going to do it anyway and he wanted you to know.’
So cold. Eileen looked past Heather, but the door was closed and so, it seemed, was the window. It was just her then. Cold inside. An infection, the nurse had called it. Not unexpected, but nasty nonetheless. With effort, she moved her head and looked down at the plastic tube running into the back of her hand.
We’ll give you a strong antibiotic to attack it. You might feel a little out of it for a couple of days, but it’s for the best. The nurses had been so lovely to her. They must have known what a bad person she had been – sure the guard outside the door would have given that much away even if they didn’t have the details. But somehow that didn’t seem to matter to them. They just kept asking her gentle questions, how she was feeling, whether she wanted to eat a little more today.
She hadn’t been truthful when they asked her how she was feeling today. The tips of her fingers were numb. There was something, though, that she needed to ask.
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