'Now, I ask you, if you were going to plan this kind of elaborate charade, if it were your intention to make it look like a burglar had been in your home, don't you think you'd leave some sign of a forced entry? A broken window? A kicked-in door? Anything? Ladies and gentlemen, this theory defies belief.'
'I don't know about you, but I kept waiting for some witnesses to appear and say they'd seen Mark drive up, enter the house, drive away, anything. But I never heard that. Not one witness came forward to say that. All I heard was Ms Jenkins tell us she was going to prove it, and I kept waiting, and the proof never came. And you know why? Because it didn't happen.'
'Now Judge Thomasino will be giving you jury instructions, but I want to say a word about the defense's burden of proof. We don't have to prove anything.'
'And yet Mark Dooher chose to testify - to go through three or four hours of Ms Jenkins's questions - so that he could tell you what he did do on the night of June seventh.'
'So what do we have? We have no proof of motive, we have no proof that Mark was at the scene of the crime when it occurred, we have no proof that he was even in the neighborhood at the time. In short, there is no proof at all, much less proof beyond a reasonable doubt, that Mark Dooher is guilty of this crime. There are no facts that convict him.'
Farrell was almost done. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' he said. 'I'm a defense attorney. It's what I do for a living. I defend people and try to convince a jury that the evidence in a case doesn't support a Guilty verdict.'
He drew a breath. A trial was a war. You had to do whatever it took to win it. Now he'd gone this far and there was no turning back. He had worked tirelessly to convince the good people of this jury that he was a man of honor, worthy of their trust. And now he was going to lie to them.
God help him, he had to do it.
This case is different,' he said. 'Once in a career, a guy like me gets a chance to tell a jury that his client isn't just Not Guilty, but that he's innocent.
'And that's what I'm telling you now - Mark Dooher is innocent. He didn't do it. I know you know this, too. I know it.'
Part Five
44
The way Dooher saw it, his acquittal should have restored him to his accustomed power, influence, and gentility. He'd been cleared of the charges, after all. That should have been the end of it and perhaps would have been, if Wes Farrell had not led the charge of rats from the ship, adding to the illusion that it was, in fact, sinking.
He supposed it was because he had never cultivated friends. The way it had always worked was that people came to Mark Dooher. Not the other way around. They had always needed something he could give them - position, money, esteem - but he did not need them. He would give no one the satisfaction.
He had been the center of Sheila's life, providing her with a house and an income and children, but even in the early years she had never been his equal. That had been tacitly understood.
And Farrell? Until the trial, Wes Farrell wouldn't have dared presume that he was on the same level as Dooher. The man's entire existence had been lived at a rung below Dooher's. His clearly defined role had always been as fawning admirer to whom Mark permitted easy access because Farrell amused him.
Flaherty - a friend? Hardly. The Archbishop was a man who needed Dooher's advice and guidance, and who paid for it. If he chose to believe that Dooher harbored any real affection for him, that was a need of his own nature, not Mark's.
Their social life had always been directed by Sheila. The occasional dinner in restaurants or at the Olympic, a night at the theater or a movie with longstanding acquaintances - that had been about the extent of it. Mark never thought he'd miss it and he didn't; at least not specifically. Dooher should have realized that Sheila's friends would shun both him and his new wife, but he didn't miss anyone's personal company.
There was an emptiness, though, a social void that filled him with a sense of isolation.
It wasn't fair and just, he thought. The ostracism was as complete as it would have been if he'd been found Guilty. He and Christina had married within a couple of months of the trial and now, between them, had no friends.
And very little business.
Flaherty had led that abandonment. Somehow, sometime during the trial, the Archbishop had lost faith in his innocence. He had taken no joy in his acquittal; hadn't even called to offer his congratulations. In the weeks after the trial, the legal work from the Archdiocese had slowly but inexorably dried up, and with it had gone the ancillary contracts from the network of agencies, charities, schools, and businesses that were one way or the other tied to the Catholic Church in San Francisco.
McCabe & Roth held on without the Archdiocesan billings for seventeen months, though the layoffs began almost immediately. First to go were the word processors. Then the attorneys began having to double up on secretaries. Next the junior associates started getting their notices. Morale went into the toilet. A splinter group of four senior partners left with their clients to form their own firm, getting away from the Dooher stranglehold.
Christina went back to work but there was a lot of barely concealed resentment about her situation. Engaged, then married to the managing partner, she was avoided by the other associates and mistrusted by the partners.
Still, she was a game fighter and threw herself into her role of reestablishing her husband's credibility. She and Mark were together for the long haul. If none of the lead attorneys would assign work to her, then she would do business development, taking prospective clients to lunch or dinner, trying to help any way she could.
She fought the guilt that she had doubted him. Her actions must make that up to him. She would stand by him when the world had let him go. It was romantic and noble and filled her with a sense of mission and meaning. They would make what her parents had made - a life built on trust.
She told herself that she did not get pregnant to save the marriage. It had always been her dream to have children, a family, a normal life. But things with Mark had gotten difficult - his moods, darker than anything she had seen in their early going. But the failure of his firm, his power dissipated, that was devastating to a man.
A few weeks ago, it had come to a head.
'Mark, please.'
'Just don't touch me, all right? It's not working. It's not going to work.'
He violently threw the covers off the bed in frustration, then stood up and immediately snatched at his bathrobe, wrapping it around him. Turning, he grabbed the comforter from off the floor and threw it back on the bed, snapping at her. 'Cover yourself, would you, for God's sake!'
'I don't need to cover myself.'
His jaw set, his angry eyes ran down the length of her body, over the protruding belly, the swollen breasts. She could not believe he could look at her like that. She loved the way her body had changed in the past eight months.
'This just isn't doing it for me right now,' he said.
'What isn't?'
'Us, if you must know. You and me. All these doubts.'
'What doubts? I don't have—'
'You don't talk about them, but I see them. You think I don't see what you're thinking? You think it turns me on to see you trying so Goddamn hard?'
'I'm not trying anything, Mark. Come to bed. Just hold me. We don't have to do anything.'
'I know don't have to do anything. I want to do something, don't you understand that? But I can't. I can't with you! Nothing's happening.'
He swore and stalked out of the room.
He hadn't felt any guilt or regret. When he got arrested, it actually played into his hands. Christina was sympathetically drawn to the grieving spouse, who was tragically and wrongfully charged with murder. She would help defend him.
It had been beautiful. He couldn't have planned it better.
But now Christina was ruining everything.
She pulled a flannel nightshirt over her head and came downstairs, turned on the reading light next to where he sat in the library, then crossed the room and l
owered herself on to the couch. 'I don't want to feel like it's not working with us when we're about to have this baby. I don't like you thinking I'm not attractive like this.'
'My problem is not how you look. I said it upstairs. It's us. The way we are.'
She settled back into the cushions. Her eyes flicked to the glass next to him, nearly empty.
'Yeah, I've been drinking. I might be drinking more. Is that a problem?'
She stared across at him. 'Why are you so hostile to me? What have I done, except stand by you, support you? Don't you want this baby, Mark? Is that it?'
Defiantly, he drained the rest of his drink before he answered her. 'No, that's not it.' He got up abruptly, grabbed his glass and went over to the bar. He poured another stiff one. 'I have always dealt from power, Christina. It's the only way I'm comfortable. What works is when you want me, and I see how you look at me now.'
'I don't look at you any way, Mark.'
But he was shaking his head. 'You loved who I was when you met me, when I was running the firm, when I had a big dick...'
'You don't have to talk like that.'
'I'll talk any way I want in my own house.'
She shook her head and stood up, thinking she'd tried her best tonight. 'Okay,' she said, 'but I don't have to listen to it in my house.'
She was all the way to the door before he stopped her with a whisper. 'Don't you hear what I'm saying at all, Christina?'
Taking a step toward him, she spoke evenly. 'I don't recognize you, Mark.I know the firm failing is hard and I don't know how you're dealing with it. But I'm not trying to take away any of your power. I've been here for you, I've kept trying even when—' She stopped.
'When what?'
'All right.' A few more steps, up to his chair. She eased herself down on the arm of it. 'Even when I found out you lied to me, even then.'
Narrowing his eyes, giving nothing away. 'When did I do that?'
She had to get it out. She'd come this far, maybe it would help. 'I ran into Darren Mills a month ago, two months, something like that. Over at Stonestown. Remember Darren, your old partner?'
'Sure, I remember Darren. What about him?'
'During your trial, Darren wound up doing a lot of work down in LA with Joe Avery. They got to be friends.'
'Good for them.'
She ignored that. 'Darren figured I'd be interested in how Joe was doing. He's still down there, you know. He got on with a new firm.'
'I'm happy for him.'
She paused. His venom was poisonous. She put her hand protectively over her stomach. 'Darren mentioned Joe's transfer down to LA, how it had come on so suddenly.' A beat. 'You told me Joe's transfer had been in the works for months.'
'I did?'
'Darren said that wasn't true. You sprang it on the Managing committee a couple of weeks before it happened. It stunned everybody. Joe hadn't even been up for partner for another year, but of course they did what you told them they had to - rubber stamp it.'
Dooher pulled a stool around and sat on it. 'That's my terrible lie? That's it?'
'Yeah, that's it. And it made me think . . .' She paused and started over. 'It made me remember your explosion in the courtroom, when you blew up at Amanda Jenkins, and then saying it had all been an act.'
'I got into the role.' He shrugged. 'And so what did the other lie - that whopper about Joe Avery - what did that make you think that you stopped yourself from saying just now?'
Swallowing, she met his gaze. He was unflinching, challenging her, casually sipping from his glass. He wanted her to get it out in the open. 'It made me think you got rid of Joe so he'd be out of the way. You knew it would break us up.'
'And then I could subtly court you? While Sheila was still alive? And if you responded, then I could kill her?'
She crossed her arms.
'Okay,' he said, 'let's say I did that.'
'I'm not saying you did.'
'Oh, but you are, Christina. That's exactly what you're saying. And if that were the case, then you were part of it, weren't you? And for a sweet person like yourself, that's hard to take, isn't it?'
He came off the stool, his hands in the pockets of his robe, pacing in the area between them. 'So let's say I did do it, let's say I killed Sheila because I had the hots for you - and get this straight, Christina, I did. And you knew it. You're not stupid. You knew it. So I killed her and now it's been almost two years and I got away with it. Now you tell me this: how does that change anything between us?'
'It changes who you are,Mark. It would change everything.'
Hovering over her now, he shook his head. 'No, it wouldn't.' He came down to one knee. 'I am the same person.'
She couldn't face any more of it, and she closed her eyes. 'Tell me you didn't do that, Mark. Please. You're scaring me to death.'
'And I suppose I killed Victor Trang for practice.' He put his hand around the back of her neck. 'It's your own guilt that's eating you up, Christina. Not mine. I don't feel any guilt.'
'Did you do it?' she repeated.
'And the guy in Vietnam, too. And raped Diane Price.'
'Did you?'
'What does it matter?'
'Please! I have to know.'
'No,' he said, 'you have to trust me.'
She took his hand away from her neck, holding it to keep it off her. 'When I know you've lied to me? When you act so convincingly? When you're just so cruel? I need to know, Mark. I need to know who you are.'
The eyes - at long last - softened. Shaking his head, he let out a sigh. 'I don't even remember this lie about Joe Avery, Christina. I don't remember what it was about, when I told it, anything about it. If I told you a lie, I'm sorry. The act I put on in the courtroom was a strategic decision. The insane accusations got to me and I let myself lose my temper, which I normally hold in pretty good check. That's all that was.'
'But were they insane, Mark - the accusations? That's what I'm asking you.'
'How many times do I have to answer that question, Christina?' He hung his head. 'God help the accused. It never ends.'
'It can. It can end right now.'
'What's it going to do for us? Or for me? I'll tell you again, no, I didn't do it, and then some other doubt will come up in six months or a year, or you'll hear some new story about something I did or didn't do in the Stone Age.'
'No, Christina, what's happening here is I've got to keep proving myself to you, over and over again. And I'm going to tell you the truth - it's wearing me down. You're doing what Wes has done, what Flaherty did ...'
'What did they do, Mark? What did they do?'
'They abandoned me, Goddamn it! They didn't believe me, don't you see? They emasculated me. Except with you, it's more literal. That's what tonight was about, all these times it hasn't worked. I can't take your doubts anymore. What's happened is you cut my balls off.'
'Mark
'No! We've taken it this far. I don't feel like I'm a man around you anymore. I'm afraid the smallest slip of the tongue, the tiniest slip in behavior, and I'm back on the block being scrutinized and judged - and asked- over and over again. Well, I can't do it. My body doesn't lie. I'm not loose. I'm not having any fun. Nothing's easy anymore. It doesn't feel like you love me.'
He put his hands under her shirt and ran them over her belly, her breasts. She didn't want that - any part of it. What was the matter with him? Couldn't he tell that?
But he had just told her it didn't feel like she loved him anymore. And now, if she told him to stop, it would be worse.
She no longer felt she knew what the truth was. Maybe the whole thing was her fault, her weakness in not being able to believe.
She understood why he wouldn't tell her again, once and for all. He was right - it wouldn't be once and for all. The last time she asked him, it had been once and for all then, too. The question had been asked and answered. How many times did she have to ask, and what damage did it do to him each time?
He was going to be the father of thei
r child, and her own inability to trust was threatening all of them.
But it wasn't all her. She knew that. Something had darkened in him. His hands were still moving over her, his breath quickening.
Maybe the darkness had always been there and it had taken these troubles to make it visible. But the way he treated her now, talked to her, it was coarse. He had coarsened. She didn't respond to it and never would.
She felt his hands on her. He was strong and powerful and she realized that she was afraid. Her skin seemed to crawl under his touch. After all they'd covered tonight, she couldn't imagine that he felt amorous. He pulled her shift up, brought his mouth to her breasts.
God, what made him work?
He yanked at the rope that held his robe and it fell open. He was hard, protruding. He took her hand and put it on him, exultant at the simple functioning. 'Here's something for you now.'
He pulled her underpants off - quickly now, roughly - afraid that the moment would pass again.
No words. He was pushing her back into the chair, opening her legs. There was a savage set to his jaw, and emptiness in his eyes.
She could do nothing to stop him.
45
After the trial, Wes Farrell gave up for a long time.
He decided not to cut his hair again until something - anything - made sense. He stopped cleaning his apartment, not much of his forte anyway. Enrolling in night classes, he started taking history courses because everyone in them was already dead and couldn't hurt him anymore.
As part of his decision to quit the practice of the law entirely, he gave up the lease on his North Beach office. He located and reattached the ten pounds he'd lost for the trial, cut off his fancy mustache and mothballed his fancy clothes.
The world was a sham. People - particularly charming winners - were scum. Any form of idealism was delusion. Since a quick and painless suicide by, say, gunshot wound smacked of commitment, he elected to pursue the more leisurely course of gradual alcohol poisoning.
Glitsky 02 - Guilt Page 41