by Shona Husk
Julian nodded. “He thought all of this was over. That the Guardians had vanished over the last two centuries because of the truce. We don’t make Albanex and they don’t kill us. This wasn’t supposed to happen again.”
“I guess the hate still burns in some.” Some people seemed to live and breathe that poison. She turned into her street. “Like I said, I wasn’t expecting visitors.”
“It’s okay.”
A cop car passed them as she pulled into the driveway. Quinn’s promised drive-bys were already happening. She turned off the engine but didn’t get out straight away. “What did you see in her?”
Julian drew in a breath. “She was fun and here on holiday. I work long hours, so it was easy. Or at the start it was.”
She nodded. “Do you find it hard with a human, someone who doesn’t know about us? I always feel like I’m lying or keeping secrets and I hate it, and then myself, and then them for not seeing what I am.” She turned to face him. “I’m tired of hiding.”
Julian put his hand over hers. “I understand. There’s a point where you know that wedge will always be there unless you tell them. And for me, that’s when I realize that I don’t want them to know that about me. I don’t want them to use it against me. For me to feel like that means I must have never trusted them in the first place, so I can’t keep seeing them and lying.”
“Yeah.” She knew that feeling. “It’s kind of sad. If everyone knew about us, life would be easier.”
“I don’t know. I used to think that. But now I think we’d just be hunted down and exterminated.” There was an edge in his voice that she hadn’t heard before. Emily’s threats had wounded him even though he wasn’t bleeding.
“When the Keepers of the Law wake up after thousands of years of sleep they will wonder what went wrong.” The Keepers of the Law were Albanex who had been alive when the Albah had accidently destroyed their own civilization. What had it been like back then? A place where magic was openly studied and used. Where humans would come and ask for guidance and advice? No one knew anymore. All the Albah knew was that they had been punished for breaking one of the rules of nature; death must come to all. Mastering the magic of undeath had doomed them.
How much had the Albah lost? If they’d never discovered the magic to make Albanex what would the world be like? The Albanex had been made with good intention. They were there to provide consistency over generations, but the power had been misused.
She glanced at her hand entwined with his. Now she was the last fire-using woman. The end of the line for an ancient people. She wasn’t going to let one angry ex end her.
Julian frowned. “I think the time for waking them is long past.”
“I think we could learn from them. Not to rebuild—I’m not one of those people—but they know things.” She could imagine sitting down and asking them about what the Albah civilization had been like. How the destruction had happened. Maybe it had been a natural disaster that the Albah had read too much into.
“Things that are probably best forgotten. They were the reason everything got wiped out. We got too clever and learned how to defy nature and live forever.”
“And what are humans doing now? Using science to do the same. The Albah were just millennia ahead of the game.” She firmly believed that the sleeping Albanex had things to offer the living Albah. What if one of them was a fire-using woman?
“When humans have worked out a way to cheat death, I’m sure nature will rise up again. I don’t know. At the moment, I’d be happy to live to see the end of the week, then the month.”
They had more immediate problems. But they were also part of a much bigger one. With so few Albah left, every death hurt. If she died, there was a good chance there would never be another fire-using woman.
Unless there was a baby somewhere in the world whose parents were looking at her and wondering which element she would have affinity with. That baby would need the diaries. Panic gripped her. She needed the diaries. “Where are the diaries?”
“In my bag. I wasn’t going to leave them for a Guardian to find.”
Leira released a sigh of relief. “I think I’d like to do a bit of reading before bed.”
Maybe there would be something in there about defending herself from a Guardian.
* * * *
The house wasn’t as messy as he’d expected it to be after her warning—he’d lived in messier places while studying. Leira grabbed items of clothing off the sofa and pushed a large pile of books to the side of the coffee table.
“Just a moment.” She raced down the hallway to get rid of the clothes.
Julian put his bag down. That was all he had in the world right now. He’d had more as a student. Maybe there’d be things he could salvage from the apartment.
From his life.
Leira walked back into the lounge room. “Did you want a coffee or anything?”
He had no idea what he wanted at that moment. Ever since he’d broken up with Emily everything had been spinning out of control. He wanted this over. That was what he wanted.
Then he could have his life back, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted it back the way it had been. He worked too much. He’d been accused of being distant and never available by previous girlfriends, including Emily. But as Leira had said, with a human there was always something to hide until that point came where they could be told. Some Albah never told their human partner. He didn’t want to be that person, always keeping a secret.
“Does your dad know about magic?”
Leira nodded. “Yeah, he knows about Finley too. Mum believed honesty was the way to go, but Dad is an archeologist and loves lost civilizations.”
“And Dale found out by accident. Have you ever wanted to tell anyone?”
“No.” In part because she’d been waiting for Julian to appear. “You?”
Julian shook his head. He’d wanted to tell, but had never wanted to share that part of his life. He didn’t want to answer the question that would follow—why hadn’t he saved his mother?
He’d had seconds, had helped his baby brother because he’d believed his mother would be all right. He’d expected his mother to help him. Some nights as he went to sleep he heard the tires exploding and felt the heat on his skin. The metal popping and the smell of burning hair.
There had been a moment when he’d known that his mother couldn’t save herself and he’d tried. Then it had gotten so hot he was sure they were all going to die. Kirin had been screaming and he’d been crying. Then it was over and all he had was the second degree burn down the back of his leg from when he’d tried to expand his shield to include his mother.
He pulled the diaries out of his bag and put them on the table. Neither of them reached for them. “I’m sorry about before.”
Leira frowned at him. “Which before?”
“In the shop.” He was the man from her vision and he’d pushed her away. She could’ve refused to let him stay.
“It’s fine.” She shrugged. It was clearly not fine. “Wrong place, wrong time. It’s gone.”
“You don’t want to believe that.” He didn’t want to believe that. The idea that at one point there had been this perfect life waiting for him was so tempting. And she was right in front of him. Maybe she was right and they could steal back their future.
He didn’t like the idea that it could be taken away, but if he’d never learned about it, he would never have known and wouldn’t be missing it. He didn’t know which was worse.
She was silent for a moment. “No I don’t, and I don’t want to believe that I can’t change my future again. But this, this isn’t how our relationship should start.”
“So how should it have gone? We met on a train, made banal conversation about magic because we’re both Albah. You’d have known what was going on and I wouldn’t have. Would you have made the first move or would you have waited for me to ask you out?”
“I don’t know. Maybe knowing
what is going to happen isn’t all that useful. Is it real or forced because of what I saw?”
“That kiss felt pretty real to me.” Would kissing any Albah woman have felt like tasting an incoming storm and feeling the crackle of anticipation on the air?
She studied him for a moment. “Maybe it’s just lust.”
They definitely had lust, even if they were trying not to act on it. He reached out a hand toward her. “We either wait until this is over, or we walk away forever, or we ignore what you have seen and do what we want.”
Leira looked at him. Then put her hand over his. “Lust can be fun. I think we need some fun.”
He smiled. “Lust can be a lot of fun.”
But he also knew that lust wasn’t enough to make it last. Leira already knew more about him than many girlfriends. None of his previous girlfriends would be sticking around for this. None of his previous girlfriends had ever tried to kill him either.
Leira moved closer, then sat on his lap. She kissed him, and the heat of her lips on his sank into his blood. Lust and magic. With her he didn’t have to pretend to be anything. His hands slid over her hips. However, he was still aware that she might only be interested in him because of what she’d seen. Was she playing along because of that, or would she have been interested if she hadn’t seen him in her future?
Once he started thinking about it, it got complicated. He needed to stop thinking ahead and think of now. As the kiss deepened, he was hoping that maybe this would rewrite their futures so they lived.
He wasn’t ready to die.
Her hands slid under his shirt. Then she was undoing the buttons. He tugged her T-shirt off so she was just in her bra. She glanced down at her plain beige bra.
“I should have put something nicer on.”
“A few more minutes and it won’t matter.” There was something that he didn’t have with him. “I hope you have something for me to put on….”
“In my bedroom. You in a rush?”
He looked at her. “No…just wanted to be sure that this was not going to end up somewhere awkward.”
“I think we started at awkward.” She pressed closer, her hips snug against his.
His body had already responded to her kiss. When she rolled her hips, he knew that she was aware of the effect she was having. This didn’t feel strange; there was rightness about it that he’d never had with someone else the first time. If he let their problems slide away, then this felt close to perfect.
“True.” His hands skimmed over her ribs and cupped her breasts. Her nipples were hard beneath his thumbs. She drew in a breath as he pulled the cup of her bra aside and took one peak in his mouth.
“I suggest we relocate.” But her fingers were in his hair as though she didn’t want him to move.
If the condoms weren’t in another room, he’d have been quite happy to stay on the sofa. He drew her close for a kiss and stood.
When her feet hit the ground, she released him and undid her jeans before shimmying out of them and her knickers before stepping back and lifting an eyebrow.
He accepted the challenge and shed the rest of his clothes. Naked, she reached for him. One hand snaked around his neck. Her lips met his and her hand closed around his shaft.
“If you keep doing that, it will be very hard to get to the bedroom.”
She smiled against his lips, then released him. “I wouldn’t want to make things hard.”
It was far too late for that. He followed her down the hallway to her room. The clothes that she’d gathered up were on the desk, but her bed was made. The queen sized wooden frame took up most of the room. He didn’t know what he’d expected…maybe more pink. But the sheets were white with crisp green spots of varying size and shade.
“Make yourself comfy.” Leira rummaged through a drawer, then examined a couple of packets.
Julian put his arms around her. “You didn’t need to rush.”
“Better to be ready.” Leira wiggled her bottom against him. “Plain or ribbed?”
He glanced at her. “Ribbed.”
She grinned. “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.” No woman kept textured condoms if she didn’t like using them. He took the packet off her and stepped back to sit on the bed.
She joined him, claiming his lips and being totally distracting while he tried to get the packet open. He wanted to slow down, get her to come first, but she wanted to move things along. When he touched her, she pulled away or changed position so he couldn’t get his hands where he wanted. Did she not want to be touched?
“What do you want?” he said between kisses.
“You.” She hooked her leg over his, making it clear where she wanted him.
It was what he wanted, but he didn’t want to be the kind of guy who only worried about how much he enjoyed it. He slid his hand lower, but she caught it. Then she was trying to guide him in.
He gave in and let her take control of the position and rhythm. But he wouldn’t let go—no matter how good it felt.
Her eyes closed and she made a little noise as though she had climaxed, except she hadn’t; he hadn’t felt it. She’d faked it. He stilled, and she opened her eyes and smiled. Her smile faltered when she noticed he wasn’t smiling.
“What’s wrong? What do you need?” He wanted this to be good for her.
“Nothing. That was good.” That was a lie. She went to pull away, but he kept her there.
He kissed her, and moved slowly. She gasped and froze as if suppressing her climax. That was when he saw it, the sheen of flames that danced over her skin for a second before she regained control.
She couldn’t control her magic.
What that actually meant hit him hard. She wouldn’t let herself go, because she was worried about setting fire to the sheets. He brought up a shield around them.
Leira opened her eyes. “What did you do?”
He brushed her bangs off her face. “Nothing is going to catch fire if you let go.”
She shook her head, fear in her eyes, not lust.
“I swear I have this.” Had she never had an orgasm with a partner? He kissed her again. “I won’t let anything happen.”
“I can’t now.” She bit her lip and turned her head away.
Julian pulled out and kissed his way down her body. Her breathing hitched when his tongue caressed her slick skin. She tasted sweet and slippery. He took his time as her hips started moving and flames licked over her inner thighs. She pressed her fingernails into his shoulder. This time the noise she made was different, a gasp and a groan. Her pleasure was real.
The flames spread over her skin and over his, but as he’d promised they didn’t touch the sheets. Nothing caught fire, but his control was starting to fray. He moved over her, and this time she didn’t hold back and neither did he.
When he was sure it was safe, he let the shield drop. He needed to move but he didn’t want this to be over, or to leave her. However, he didn’t know what to say either.
So they said nothing.
He kissed her and eased out of the bed to get rid of the rubber. When he came back, she’d pulled up the sheets but she was lying there staring at the ceiling.
“You okay?” Should he join her or ask where the spare bed was?
She nodded and flicked back the corner. “I can only usually do that in the bath.”
He’d almost had control of his magic by the time he’d been spending more time on his own the way teenaged boys did—there’d only been a couple of incidents—and definitely by the time he’d been sleeping with girlfriends.
“Is it any strong emotion?”
“Yeah. It’s really annoying. Like I want to be with someone, but then when I’m with them, I can’t enjoy it. It’s frustrating.”
“I can imagine.” When she’d said that she couldn’t control her magic, he’d never considered the impact on her private life.
“No, you can’t. Most women do everythi
ng they can to get there and I’m faking until I can get a few minutes alone surrounded by water.” She closed her eyes. “None of which is your problem. Thank you for putting up the shield.”
He pulled her close, her body rigid. “It wasn’t a problem.”
“You shouldn’t have had to do that.” She softened in his arms.
“Did you enjoy it?” Right now, that was all that mattered.
She drew in a deep breath and nodded. “Now I know what I’ve been missing when I’m with someone.”
“It’s something we can work on. All that practice…” He slid his hand over her hip.
She laughed. “You volunteer for all the hard jobs.”
Being with her wasn’t hard at all; maybe he was looking for reasons to be with her that had nothing to do with the future that she’d seen.
* * * *
Leira curled up closer to him. She did not want to think about how perfect it had been. How she’d been able to actually enjoy without fear. She’d never be able to have a human lover again, unless she got control of her magic and separated it from her emotions. She’d read that in the first diary, but there hadn’t been any suggestions about how to do that. Nothing in the diaries was ordered. It was random observations that his mother had made. Spells that worked and spells that hadn’t. Ideas that she was testing.
Maybe she’d go back to the basics of magic in later diaries.
“Did you ever have any in-bed mishaps?”
“Not fire related.” He kissed her slowly. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ll go through the diaries and I’ll see what I can remember in the morning.”
“I just want to check something.” She conjured a tiny ball of fire in her hand. It wobbled. She wasn’t very good at holding it and scrying at the same time. Julian put his hand under hers and the ball stabilized. She must look like such an incompetent idiot. She almost didn’t want to look as the blue center swirled. All that formed was smoke. Her heart sunk. Her eyes prickled. How was that possible? “Nothing has changed.”
Julian put his hand over the ball of fire and made it vanish. “I’ll see Emily tomorrow.”