I frown into the empty room. I can’t do this. I can’t poke around in her head like this.
Oh, shut up. Of course you can. You can and you have to. She’s hiding things from you. Things you need to know.
Maybe.
I turn back to the lotus flower in all its perfect, mocking perfection.
“Tatum!”
I jump in my seat at the sound of Renali’s voice.
A very average looking woman ducks out of the office, and Renali smiles from ear to ear and crosses the space between us.
“I didn’t expect you to come back so soon,” she says. “I’m happy you did. I have a free thirty minutes now if you want to talk.”
For a moment, I just stare at her—perfectly painted like the lotus flower. “Sure,” I hear myself say, my throat dry.
She motions for me to stand and follow her down the hall.
My heart beats high in my chest, erratic and heavy. Guilt settles between my ribs. Someone knocks on the glass door.
“Go ahead,” Renali says, “I’ll be right back.”
But I don’t move. I wait in the middle of the hall.
A very haggard-looking man with deep lines in his face presses his sweaty nose against the glass. His old, dusty blue overcoat hangs damp and heavy around his jean-clad legs—nice jeans that clash severely with the rest of him.
“I told you I can’t help you,” she hisses to the man.
He gazes past her to me. “But you’re seeing her? I’ve got more money than that kid!”
She glances at me over her shoulder and tries to shut the door on him, but his foot wedges between the door and frame. “I’m not telling you again, Richard. I would help you if I could, but you need a psychiatrist. I am not a psychiatrist.”
“He just wants to medicate me,” the man whines with a sniff. “Please, I’ll pay anything.”
“I don’t need or want your money. Now, please.”
And she does something entirely uncharacteristic of herself. She kicks his foot away from the frame, shuts the door in his face, and locks it.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
She turns away from the door with a smile. “You know this time of year always brings out the weirdos.”
The man is still outside, smushing his horrible face against the glass, tears smearing the pristine surface.
“Go inside,” she says, her tone completely unburdened.
My frown deepens. I step in the airless room and settle down on the couch.
She sits down across from me and crosses her legs. “How have you been?”
Terrible. “Fine.”
“Good fine or bad fine?”
“What do you think?”
She smiles. “I’m really glad you stopped by today. I was hoping we could talk more about your mother. It feels like you’re holding a lot of unresolved anger towards her.”
My mother. I stretch my mind towards Renali’s, reaching for her head with invisible fingers. “You were friends with my mom, weren’t you?”
“I was.”
“She didn’t tell you about those guys she was hanging around with?”
Renali narrows her eyes, but her smile doesn’t fade. “I knew she was having an affair, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“An affair,” I say, my voice coming out sharper than I mean for it to. “You know she was killing people.”
The smile drops from her face. She takes a deep breath and sits forward in her oversized chair. “Who have you been talking to?”
My pulse slows, and it becomes increasingly harder to breath, as if a brick was just shoved into my lungs. “So, it’s true?”
“I didn’t say it was true. I’m asking where you heard such a thing.”
We lock eyes, neither of us wanting to be the first to tell the other what we really know. But I don’t have to play these games. I dive into her head without invitation and latch onto the first memory I find of my mother.
No. Not that one.
I turn away from my mother’s lifeless body, knowing my sister is mere feet to the right. I push further into the past.
“Tatum?” Renali’s voice is faraway and sluggish. “You can trust me. Whatever it is.”
“Can I?” I reply, my voice also sounding muffled and underwater.
This is new. Before today, I’ve never been able to simultaneously see into someone’s mind and carry on a conversation.
My mother’s laughter catches my attention, a sound that irritates me so much I wish I could reach into the past and slap her.
“Did you find an old journal?” Renali asks. “Did you run into someone somewhere?” She’s starting to sound worried, but I push her voice away.
The lime-green convertible speeds down the highway, whipping my mother’s long waves into the back seat and into Renali’s face.
Renali laughs as she bats the hair away and leans in closer to the man beside her. The car pulls off the road without warning, flinging her around the seat some.
“Damn it, Gage!” she shouts over the wind.
The man in the front seat laughs over his shoulder. Dark shades cover his eyes even though it’s late into the night. He’s a few days past needing a shave.
“I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he says.
At the sound of his voice, a mixture emotions scrapes hard against my spine, and nausea settles into my bones. It momentarily pulls me out of Renali’s head.
“I can help you, Tatum,” Renali says. “But you have to talk to me.”
I force myself back into her head.
Gage slams on the brakes and stops the convertible a few inches shy of crashing into a brick mailbox. Then he cuts the engine and leaps out of the car with the grace of a panther.
“Where are we?” my mother asks.
“You’ll see.”
The four of them hike up the steep gravel driveway to a small brick house, Gage leading the way. He kicks the front door in and slides his sunglasses up on his head, revealing a pair of dark, storm-gray eyes.
“Jerry,” he calls, very much the same way one would call for a dog hiding under the bed on vet day. “The piper’s here.”
My mother giggles.
“I can smell you, Jerry,” Gage says.
The man behind him laughs, a deep barking sound.
Gage stops and holds out an arm to stop the others. “He’s in there,” he says to my mother, nodding to an open door off the uncluttered living area. “Go in there and talk him out for me, will you, babe?”
She lifts her brows at him and smiles. “No problem.” The night swallows her up as she crosses over to the door. “Jerry?” she says kindly. “We’re here to help you, sweetie.”
“Who are you,” comes a high-pitched and trembling voice.
Renali frowns. “How old is he?”
Gage doesn’t respond. He only stares intensely into the darkness.
“I’m here to help you find your mother, Jerry,” my mother says. “But I need you to help me. No one is going to hurt you.”
A nasty smile crosses Gage’s face. “Indeed.” He turns to the man beside Renali. “Now if we just had one more like her, we would be set.”
“Well, there’s her daughter,” Renali says.
As soon as Gage’s sharp eyes cut to her face, she knows she’s made a mistake.
“She has a daughter?” Gage asks.
Renali’s eyes grow wide. “I…I was just saying. She’s just a kid though.”
“How old?”
She squints into the room, where my mother is helping a boy of about twelve out from under his bed.
“How old?”
Renali finally meets his gaze. “Thirteen.”
Gage’s grin is menacing in the absent light. “That’s old enough.”
The scene blurs and jumps ahead some weeks later.
“I just don’t want her caught up in this,” my mother says, slipping from the bar stool and pacing across the cabin. “She’s a child! What’s the matter with y
ou?”
Gage follows after her and takes her wrist tight in his hand. “Diamah, babe, no one is going to hurt your daughter. Her gifts are a much-needed asset to our team. We’ll treat her like a queen.”
Her eyes travel across the room. Renali is huddled in a corner with Bruno, a man who has more hair on his back than on his head.
“Renali cares about our cause,” Gage says, lifting his other hand and dragging his knuckle down the side of my mother’s face. “I thought you cared.”
“I do care.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t one.”
Gage leans in and kisses her. “Trust me,” he whispers. “I’ll love her like she was my own.”
She blinks up at him. “I trust you. Just give me some time to explain things to her.”
Gage loosens his grip on her wrist. “How much time do you need?”
“We’ll be back in the morning.”
“First light then,” he says with a smile.
She matches his smile with a bright one of her own and presses her lips briefly against his. “First light.” She twists her hands in front of her belly and shuffles from the room, forcing air in and out through her nose.
Renali leaves the corner and runs after her. “Diamah! Where are you going?”
My mother turns around outside, halfway to the convertible, and steps in close to her friend. “Gage wants Tatum.”
“I know.”
“I know, you know,” she responds sharply.
Renali bites down on her bottom lip. “He isn’t going to hurt her.”
“That isn’t the point.” She turns her face away and looks over the moonlit hillside. “You don’t understand, Renali; you don’t have children. It’s fine for me to do this, but I don’t want this for her. I want her to have a life. I want her to be happy.”
“And she’ll be happy with her mother.”
My mother shakes her head in disgust. “You can’t possibly believe that it’s a good idea to turn my daughter into a murderer.”
“She’s not actually going to kill anyone,” Renali says.
My mother spins away from her and takes rapid steps towards Gage’s car.
“Let me come with you!” Renali runs after her.
“Haven’t you done enough damage?”
Renali stops. Pain flickers across her face. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t lie to him.”
My mother’s face softens. “I’m sorry, too. But I need to do this alone.”
“But you are coming back?”
My mother opens the door and pauses. “Can I trust you?”
“With your life, you know this.”
My mother looks towards the cabin and crosses the distance between her and Renali. She throws her arms around Renali’s neck and hugs her tight. “I’m not coming back,” she whispers.
Renali pinches her lips together.
“Swear on your life, Renali.”
“How much time do you have?”
“Until dawn.”
Renali nods. “I’ll make sure he gives it to you.”
“Thank you.” My mother moves back over to the convertible and slides down into the low-riding seat.
“Do you know where you’re going?” Renali asks.
“As far away as I can.” My mother starts the engine and puts the car in reverse. “Please keep that man away from my sister.”
Renali nods again and waves goodbye. She stands outside, under the clear star-filled sky, and watches her friend drive away. When the car has disappeared, she turns on her heels and goes back inside the cabin.
Gage is playing pool with Bruno, carefree laughter surrounding him like a happy cloud.
She props herself up on a stool by the bar and watches them for a minute. “So you really think she’s coming back?”
Gage stops, mid-shot. “What’s that?” He straightens, leaving his pool stick on the table, and walks over.
Her shoulders draw up to her ears.
He smiles. “We’ve always been close, haven’t we,” he says.
“She’s running,” she says.
A muscle twitches in his jaw. “Of course she is.” He steps away from her and walks back over to the pool table, to Bruno, who’s watching on intently. “Call the boys.”
“That little girl has protection,” Bruno says.
“Not good enough,” Gage says through clenched teeth. He drums his hands on the surface of the table. “Not if we split them up.”
Bruno grins. “Sure, I’m in the mood for some action.” He discards his stick and winks over at Renali. He pulls out his phone and dials a number. “Yo! It’s game time, bitch.”
Gage motions for Renali.
She drops down from the stool and walks over to him, her movements stiff and heavy.
He clasps a hand on her shoulder. “I knew there was a reason I was right to trust you. You never let me down.”
She lays a hand over his and looks into his eyes. “And I never will.”
“Tatum!”
Renali’s sharp voice pulls me out of her head.
“So, this isn’t going very well,” Renali says, her voice tight. She sighs and leans over to brush some stray imaginary lint from her pants leg.
I’ve seen enough. More than enough. I focus on her face. She was in love with that monster. Even now, I can feel it radiating off of her in waves.
She sucks in a breath and gives me an encouraging smile. “Please, let me help you.”
The lava lamp drags its annoyingly lazy light across my face. “To assuage your guilty conscience?” My voice strains with the effort it’s taking me not to scream at her.
She furrows her brows. “What’s that?”
Rage flares in my chest. “You are such a bitch.”
Her eyes widen. “Tatum…” She sits back in her chair, her tone laced with panic. “Tatum, what did you do?”
Angry tears spill from eyes. My breath quickens to short, heated bursts. “How could you?” I rip the lava lamp from the wall and throw it at her head.
She screams and ducks. The lamp whips through the ends of her hair and smashes against the wall behind her.
I storm out of the office as fast as I can without breaking out into a full run. I pull at the front door and remember that it’s locked when it doesn’t budge.
Renali recovers and stumbles out into the hallway behind me as I undo the latch.
“Tatum!”
The haggard man is still outside and uses my exit as an opportunity to get in.
I sidle past him and burst into the shop. Customers turn to me, puzzled, as the bell jangles loudly from the force of my entry.
Tessandra looks up from some crystals she’s organizing in the glass case behind the counter. “What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk. Now.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“We need to skip town until this blows over.” Tessandra paces the pavement on the side of the building. “We need to leave now.”
“It isn’t going to blow over,” I say. And it isn’t. The weight of the situation is heavy in my chest. “Running away is what my mother was trying to do, and look what happened.”
Emmerick is the only help we’ll get, and that isn’t good enough if his own fear is any indication.
“Momma?” Gretchen peeks around the corner, her eyes wide with worry. “What’s going on?”
Tessandra pulls her daughter into her arms and holds her tight. “I’m so sorry.”
Fresh tears burn on the edge of my lids.
“What’s happening?” Gretchen looks back and forth between us.
“It’s my fault,” I say.
Tessandra shakes her head. “None of this is your fault. I don’t know who to blame, but it isn’t you. I’m so sorry, Tatum, for everything I’ve put you through.”
I blink the tears back. “Why are you apologizing? You were doing your best. I’m the one who’s stupid, and I never took you seriously…” I know I will never forgive myself if
a hair is split on either one of them.
“Mom?” Fear displaces Gretchen’s worry. “What happened?”
“You and Gretchen leave,” I say. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Take care of it how?” Tessandra asks.
“I’ll figure something out.”
“What is it?” Gretchen yells, snapping us both to attention.
I look to Tessandra, and she nods. “She’s old enough. Fill her in on what you can. Take her home and let her pick up a few things while I prep Milly to be in charge.”
“What?” Gretchen pales. “Where are we going?”
“I’ll go get my keys,” Tessandra says. “Take my car.” She leaves us outside.
Gretchen’s chest heaves with irritation. “What?”
“People are after me,” I say. “If you want to call them people.”
“I don’t understand. People from the underground?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” I stare into the parking lot. Emmerick’s truck is missing. “Do you have Emmerick’s number?”
“Yeah.” Moisture bites the corners of her eyes. “Tatum?”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“What would you tell yourself if you were me?”
What I told myself was that monsters were real and they wanted to kill me. I don’t think that’s the best thing to say to anyone.
Tessandra returns with her keys and takes my face in her hands. “Take care of yourself, please. Get help anywhere you can find it.” She kisses my cheek and presses the keys into my hand.
“I am.”
She hurries back around the corner, and I grab Gretchen’s elbow and pull her along behind me.
“Should I be scared?” she asks as she buckles herself in the car.
“Yes.”
She laughs. “That’s great. Thank you.”
“Do you want me to lie to you?”
“No.” She stares at me. “Wait, are you serious?”
“Yes, Gretchen.”
“Is this why you’ve been in such a bad mood lately?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
The car jerks along as I adjust to the pressure of the pedals. “Did you see a guy in the shop the other day? Tallish. Greasy hair. Shaved on the sides.”
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