by Sands, Samie
***
Nope. As soon as I walk into the hospital at eight AM the following morning it becomes way too obvious that I’m not about to get the break I so desperately need. The place is filled with people, all the hallways are jam packed, I can barely even squeeze in myself.
There goes my much-needed easy day!
“Hey, Hannah.” I wrap my hand around my friend’s arm to get her attention. “What’s going on?”
“Urgh, the cops have brought a load of people in. Apparently, they want this quarantine to really be enforced now so they’re dragging in everyone that might be infected.”
“But…” I can my eyes around the room in confusion. “Most of these people look fine.”
“Yeah, well, what can we do?” Hannah shrugs noncommittally. “We have to see them all and ship them out if we can.”
“What…” I gulp, hating that I even have to ask this. “What does Dave know about it all?” I don’t really want to know what his nosiness has discovered, but unfortunately, he is always way more in the know than me. “Can we send them home?”
“Dunno, rules have probably changed, haven’t they? I don’t think anyone knows anymore. This is the Lockdown quarantine really coming into play now. They aren’t messing around anymore.”
“Hmmm, if everyone is in quarantine now, what does that mean for us?”
“Dave reckons we’ll need to stay here.”
That’s just marvelous. I didn’t even want to come to work today, and now I might be stuck here until the quarantine is over. Urgh, the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“Okay, well I suppose we better try and figure out what’s going on then.”
I guess at least for today, I’ll have to put my ‘Katie saves the world’ plan to one side. Today, I just need to focus on getting through.
Eleven
This situation is impossible, I cannot stand it. The more I try to come to terms with it, the worse it becomes.
It quickly became obvious on that first day of the Lockdown quarantine that we couldn’t let anyone out. There isn’t anywhere for them to go anymore. It isn’t just us that are stuck here, it’s everyone. The only problem is we don’t have nearly enough room. The people who are very clearly infected are strapped to the beds like animals, and everyone else is simply lost with nowhere to go.
It’s a nightmare.
We’ve even had to give up most of the on-call rooms. We’re all sharing one now, getting in naps whenever we can.
“Okay, I’m going for a sleep,” Hannah declares wearily at me. “I don’t know the last time I got any rest.”
“Yeah, sure, I’m going to the bathroom myself.”
This is a newer habit of mine, locking myself in a cubicle for twenty minutes just to get some space. It gives me time to think and to occasionally take notes. Now that I’m resigned to remaining here until the quarantine is over, I have decided to continue on with my plan to find a solution here.
Secretly, of course.
“Help, someone, help!”
“You go.” I roll my eyes at Hannah. “I’ll deal with it, you know how quickly everyone panics these days.”
“Thank you,” she replied gratefully, before skulking off quietly. She needs this rest, there isn’t any point in her getting involved in yet another round of drama.
Yet, as I stumble across the actual problem I instantly regret my decision. This is a problem that could’ve used as many people as possible.
“Do something!” Dave screams as he tries his best to restrain a very young girl. She must be about five-years-old and she’s adorably cute; all blonde pigtails and sweet round cheeks…but she isn’t human anymore. Her irises are white, her teeth are bared, her skin is greying…she has all the telltale signs of someone who has succumbed to infection. “Katie, do something?”
“What happened?” I ask as I glance my eyes side-to-side, desperately searching for someone else to help her out. This was too much.
“She’s infected, what do you think happened?” Dave sneers while struggling to keep her teeth away from him. “Now do something before she gets me.”
“Like what?” I haven’t been involved in any of the killing before, I’ve always made sure that I’m nowhere to be found when that happens. I don’t want my first time to be this girl, it isn’t right. “What do you want me to do?”
“Kill her…stop stalling.”
Dave can see through me, which makes my face flame with humiliation. My heart hammers noisily in my chest, I start to shake with pure terror, but I really need to shake that off. I have to help Dave somehow.
“What can I do? Give her a sedative? Knock her out?”
“No, no, that doesn’t work. We need something heavy, you need to smash her round the head. You have to kill her.”
I can’t do it, I know I can’t, but I try anyway. I spot a paperweight on the side and I charge towards the girl as if I’m actually going to do something with it. Deep down in my mind I know I won’t, but I continue with the pretense anyway.
It isn’t until I reach the girl that my brain kicks into gear and I shove her hard to the ground instead. She tumbles and falls pathetically to the ground like a pitiful rag doll and I feel utterly awful inside. I want to weep at the image of this poor girl lying there, helpless, with the nasty AM13 virus coursing violently through her veins.
It isn’t fair, this isn’t right.
“Give me that!”
Dave angrily snatches the paperweight from me and he smashes down into the girl’s skull. Blood splatters everywhere, covering me and Dave, and the awful guttural groan that falls out of her mouth makes me want to die.
I stumble back and fall to the ground, hitting the cold, hard floor as hard as the poor girl did. The only difference is no one is bashing anything into my brain, I get to live.
No, no, no, my brain goes wild. I cannot let this continue, I need to put an end to it. This is too awful.
After seeing what I’ve just witnessed, I know for a fact that I need to step up my game. Things cannot be allowed to go on the way they are.
Crunch.
Splat.
Crack.
As I try to block out the sounds of Dave absolutely destroying the monster who used to be a girl, I need to invent my next step, just to make me feel more positive.
Brain scans…I need to conduct brain scans. I thought that already once, didn’t I? I’m not sure anymore, but somehow, I need to make that happen. No matter what.
“She almost bit me,” Dave spits out in a rage as if that justifies his insane outburst. He definitely went too far then. “This is getting out of control if we don’t put an end to all of this we’ll end up dead. All of us.”
“What are you saying?” I ask him anxiously. “What do you mean?”
“I mean.” His black angry eyes stare deep into my soul, sending a chill up and down my spine. “They all need to die.”
We stare at one another, panting heavily, neither of us knowing what to say next. He is filled with rage and I’m torn up with remorse. We could have an argument right now, we could both put across our points of view but it wouldn’t go anywhere. Neither of us intends to change our minds.
“Hey,” a voice calls out, shattering the tension of the moment. “What did you do to my sister?”
Twelve
I snap my head around in shock, feeling even worse than I did before. The boy I see standing in the doorway looks like he’s at death’s door, but that might have more to do with the mangled corpse on the floor than anything else. He’s staring at it much more intently than I dare to myself.
“What have you done to her?” he repeats, sounding like his world might’ve just come to an end.
“We had to,” Dave growls back, his temper overshadowing his empathy right now. Although, now that I think about it, I don’t know if he ever had any to start with. “She was infected, she came for me.”
“But…but…”
He staggers backwards with te
ars in his eyes. As his skin turns an even deeper shade of white I recognize that if we let him go right now, he’ll rush right out into the crowds of already stressed people, and he’ll make it a million times worse.
The last thing we need right now is a panic.
“Please.” I step closer to him, but he continues to reverse. “Please, wait there. I know this must be a shock to you…”
“A shock?” he snaps angrily back. “A shock? You lot have murdered my sister. She’s dead.”
He’s hysterical, I need to choose my next words very carefully. “You cannot go back out into the hallway, it’s dangerous out there.”
“It’s dangerous in here.” His breaths fall raggedly out of his mouth, but at least he’s stopped moving. “What do you expect me to think? My sister runs off and I find her in here like…like this?”
“This situation is new to us all. No one knows how to react to this virus…”
“Isn’t this the specialist medical facility? If anyone should know, it’s you guys.”
I’ll admit, he has me there. “This virus is unlike anything the world has ever seen before,” I try my best to be diplomatic. “We are all learning together.”
“And my sister had to die while you all ‘learn’?”
As he runs his fingers through his hair, I spot another sight that makes me want to weep. Just as I thought we were going to calm this situation down I can see blood running through the sleeve of his hoodie. It looks like the sort of damage that could only come from a bite wound, and the mood that he’s in right now, if Dave sees this then we’ll all be in trouble.
“Please, come with me.” I try to communicate my desperation with my eyes, but all I receive is a blank look back. “I will take you to a private room where we can discuss this properly. You can ask me all of the questions that I’m sure you must have.”
The boy doesn’t answer me, but I don’t give him the chance to, instead I spin and mouth frantically at Dave ‘get this cleaned up!’ He nods sharply but doesn’t look like he appreciates the command. I don’t really care anymore, we just need to do what needs to be done.
I walk briskly through the hallway until we reach one of the offices. No one has been in here for days, and quite frankly it’s a mess. I know that we’ll be safe here.
“Now, what is your name?” I ask as I take a seat. Despite what’s happened, I want to build up some form of bond with him…although he doesn’t look too thrilled by the idea.
“Eric,” he mutters, crossing his arm across his body like a belligerent teenager. I suppose he might actually be a teenager, it’s difficult to tell these days.
“Okay, Eric, well I’m sure you understand how sorry I am about your sister, that should never have happened.”
“What are you gunna do about it? Surely you have to make it up to me somehow.”
Is he asking what I think he’s asking? “Erm, I’m not too sure. Protocol is…sketchy.” I need to get down to business before this becomes a blackmailing situation. “But I have already seen that you have a bite on your arm, so now I am concerned as to what will become of you now.”
“I haven’t been bitten.”
“Then where did all that blood come from?”
“None of your business.”
Clearly, we’re in a standoff now. “Look, Eric, despite what you might think of me right now, I’m here to help you.”
“Oh yeah? What can you do? Kill me?”
“No, I don’t want to kill you. I want to protect you.”
“How will you do that?” His face twists up into an angry sneer. “It’s pretty obvious from being in this hell hole that anyone infected will end up dead. Maybe even the ones that aren’t, so maybe you should just kill me.”
“No, I want to put a stop to this, I’m intending to fix it.”
“You?” He raises his eyebrows in that disbelieving way that everyone gives me when I mention my plan. “On your own? You have no hope.”
I didn’t want to do it alone, but I can’t exactly call up Ryan now, can I? How damn embarrassing.
“You don’t know that. I have to at least try, I can’t just let this happen.”
“I suppose it’s good that someone is,” he answers begrudgingly. “But I’m warning you that it’s a waste of time. This is it, this is the end of the world.”
“I won’t let that happen.” I smile as I rise. “Now, if you want some privacy, you can stay in here for a while. No one will disturb you.”
As I leave the room I feel more determined than ever before. The more people try to put me down, the more I’m certain I can do this.
I will.
Thirteen
“What do you expect me to do?” I try to plead rationally with the police officer who’s standing at the hospital doors. I probably should go and get one of the higher ups to sort out this issue, but I don’t think I have the time. He seems determined to push everyone through, regardless of what I want. If I leave I’m sure he’ll do it anyway. “We just don’t have any room. This place is already overrun. Can you not exchange the infected people for the ones who seem fine?”
Why couldn’t someone else have answered the knock?
“Of course not,” he scoffs at me. “This isn’t a Goddamn cab service. We are told to bring ‘em here, so that’s what we’ll do. The rest is up to you.”
“Look at this place.” I indicate wildly behind me. “It’s a mess. Can you not take them to the hospital?”
“Hospital’s closed down.” He shrugs and pushes the first-person in. “This is the only place left.”
I feel a pang deep in my heart. The hospital has been closed for the Lockdown and I didn’t know. Childishly I think some of those doctors should’ve come to help, namely, Ryan. He knows that I’m here and he hasn’t bothered. If I’ve ever needed a sign that he doesn’t want me, then I have one now. Loud and clear.
“The hospital is closed?”
“Everywhere is closed. This isn’t called the Lockdown for nothing. Everywhere is shut down.”
“What are we supposed to do? Will you bring more people here? This place will collapse! People are getting sick every day. Any minute now, everyone will be infected, then you’ll have nowhere to go.” I can already see that my impassioned speech has had absolutely no effect.
“Look, miss, there ain’t nothing I can do. You gotta take them in, I don’t know where you’re gonna put them, but this is the way things are.”
I don’t want to, but I can’t see any point in keeping up the disagreement when I can already see that I’m going to lose, so I nod defeatedly and I step aside to let the people in. As more people than I ever thought possible rush past me, I start to feel an overwhelming sense that the walls are going to close in on me, that we’re all going to end up crushed. I can almost see it happening; the trampling, the squashing, the sickness spreading through us all like wildfire.
I don’t want to die in that way.
“C…calm down,” I gasp breathlessly. “Everyone, calm down.” My vision blurs as I stagger forwards. I feel drunk like I no longer really know where I am. “Someone needs to…we need to get control, this is too much…help, someone…” I can no longer breathe, my lungs feel flattened, any minute now I’m going to die.
“Miss?” I can hear a voice next to me, but I cannot see who’s attached to it. I move to find them, but nothing becomes clear. “Miss?”
The light balls up, and slowly vanishes. I can feel myself almost retreating from the world, turning in on myself.
Then the blackness claims me, and actually, I willingly let it.
Fourteen
“Miss?” There it is again, that voice. It’s like a fly buzzing around me, irritating me when all I want to do is be left alone. I wish I could swat it away, but I don’t have the energy to do so. “Miss?”
“Nugh,” I gurgle as I turn onto my side. I am trying to sleep; can they not see that?
“Ooh, look! She’s coming around. That has to be a good sign.”
>
Hmm…was that Hannah? Maybe I do need to open my eyes, just in case. If she’s concerned about me then maybe there is actually something to worry about.
“What’s going on?” I murmur to the shadows above my head. “What happened?”
“You fainted,” the first voice, which seems to belong to a male, replies. “You got into a state of panic and I guess your body overheated. I think we might need to check you over, to make sure that you’re okay.”
“Oh no.” I push myself into a sitting position. The last thing I want is a whole bunch of fuss for what was effectively a massive panic attack. “No, I feel fine.”
“No wooziness?”
Yes.
“No. None.”
“You don’t feel dizzy or sick?”
Yes.
“Nope.”
He gives me a disbelieving look, which actually I know I deserve, but I stare him down until he backs away and gives up. He’s a doctor here, someone that I’ve distantly been working alongside for the last few weeks, but I have no clue what his name is.
Still, I’m glad that he’s clearly far too busy to worry too much about me.
“So, what’s going on?” I force myself to stand, despite the fact that it makes me feel even more nauseous. I need to act as normally as I can if I’m going to pull the attention off me.
“Well as I’m sure you’re already aware, we have been inundated with lots of new people.”
Of course! That’s what sent me into a panic. “Erm, yes, I know. What are we going to do about them? There’s hardly any room.”
He rolls his eyes at me, which is fair since I’ve just stated the obvious. “I don’t know. Some of them are very infected, some of them are passed out, some are fine…everyone has different needs and we simply do not have the resources.” He sighs loudly and wearily. “We need some direction, but I don’t think anyone is aware of what we should do. It’s chaos, any minute now it’ll all go to hell.”
That scares me, this place is in a bad enough state, if everyone loses it then we’re in a desperate amount of trouble.