by Haley Travis
“Yeah. I’ve had to read less and less, saving my eyes for my classes for the past few months.”
“What are you taking?”
“Psychology and art history.”
There was a pause before he said, “That’s a weird combination, isn’t it?”
I laughed, realizing that he made me laugh and smile more than anyone else had in the past year.
“My angle is that art is often used to display the subconscious mind. So as art has changed through the ages, it loosely mirrors the underlying thoughts of humanity at the time. Sometimes it’s even specific from country to country, or city to city. People paint their thoughts, sometimes unconsciously.”
“Interesting. So what does it mean that there are so many paintings of a bowl of fruit?”
“That some people are unimaginative. Or that others want to establish themselves by being experts in the classics. Sometimes the content says more about the artist’s desires than their subconscious thoughts.”
There was another pause, as Liam leaned back, settling into the couch. I felt it shift a bit, and found myself leaning back as well, tucking my heels up under me.
“If you’re an art expert…”
“I’m not. Not at all,” I interrupted.
He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll rephrase. As someone who studies art…”
“Much better. Proceed.”
“What do you think about tattoos? Do you consider them art?”
I nodded. “Absolutely. Tattoos are incredibly personal. Art that you have selected for another artist to create on your body to wear forever. Mind you, some people just go and pick a design off the wall. Personally, I don’t understand that. But some people work with the artist to plan a complete piece. It’s living art that moves with you, grows with you, and sometimes begins to define you as a person.” I grinned. “I actually really love tattoos. I just haven’t found a symbol yet that’s personal enough for me to want to make it permanent.”
A low sigh of relief floated my way. Laughing hard, I choked out, “Well, you just got my honest opinion – whether you have no tattoos, or you’re covered from head to toe.”
I could almost feel him smiling, and wanted so badly to lean forward and curl up in his lap while we talked. The urges I was feeling toward him were strange, and far more intense than I would have ever imagined.
“Yes, I have some tattoos.”
I paused, then shook my head. “If I’m making an expression of extreme annoyance, it’s because I can hear the tension in your voice, and don’t know if you’re kidding, or keeping something from me. So I’m going to assume that you have a gigantic cartoon kitty across your face, and just picture that.”
His laugh was so sexy. Deep and rumbling. Again, I had a powerful desire to curl into his chest.
I had known this week would be difficult, but this was becoming more than frustrating. It was exhausting and obnoxious sometimes. Now, on top of everything, I was aroused beyond belief, and not able to throw myself at the object of my desire.
Being sort of trapped with Liam, if it turned out he didn’t feel the same way, the awkwardness might eat me alive.
I heard him rustling around with his phone for a moment. “Gwen sent a text to remind me to check on whether or not you need painkillers.” I felt his hand tapped my knee gently. “Don’t be a hero, Kayla. Does it hurt? Did you take some pills before bed last night?”
It was difficult not making a face. Something about not having my sight made me feel like other people couldn’t see me.
“It didn’t matter when I was asleep. Um, I think it’s okay now. I mean, it feels weird. Tight and uncomfortable. A little achy. But it’s not exactly pain.”
I heard a soft tapping. Then I grinned. “You’re asking Gwen for advice?”
“Yeah. It seems like you don’t want to take the prescription painkillers. I’m asking if it’s okay if you had the regular over the counter type. Do you not like taking pills?”
“I don’t mind, they just… I’m a little sensitive to them. They make me feel sluggish. Sort of fuzzy.”
“But all you’re doing is resting,” he said. “If you’re uncomfortable Kayla, take a pill if it makes things easier.”
I heard him tapping at his phone again. “Gwen double checked, and said that any old regular headache pill would be fine. Would you rather take that then the heavy-duty ones?”
I released a sigh. Everything really had been pretty achy this morning. “Sure. What the heck.” I automatically started to get up, then heard Liam chuckle as he patted my knee.
“Sit. Please let me feel useful. Where are they?”
“Left side of my bedroom dresser, blue bottle.”
It was weird to think about a stranger rummaging around my home, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was still unusual that I was able to speak so freely to him. After spending my entire life being shy, suddenly being able to talk to strangers was sort of fascinating in a strange way.
Liam brought me a glass of water, placing it in my right hand, and two pills in the left. “I saw the clothing set up that you and Gwen must have organized. Very clever.”
As I washed down the pills, I realized with mild embarrassment that Liam had seen the careful piles of t-shirts, sweaters, yoga pants, and underwear across the top of my dresser. Best not to think about that. This was not a time when I could worry about silly little things, I guess.
“So,” Liam asked, “What sort of career do you end up in after studying psychology and art history?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I shrugged. “Graphic design and marketing, or some sort of art specialist.” I grinned in his direction. “I have some ideas for various fonts designed to evoke emotional reactions. Could be interesting.”
“Sounds devious,” he chuckled. “Oh yeah.” I heard a finger snap as if he’d just thought of something. “I’m supposed to make sure that you get some light exercise today.”
I pursed my lips. “Sure. I’ll just throw on my running shoes and go for a jog.”
Undeterred, Liam took my hand and pulled me off the couch, leading me to the center of the living room. “Basic stretches,” he said. “Just stop completely if you get dizzy again, right?”
I nodded.
“Plant your feet, and sweep your arms up over your head, and be longer than you think you are.”
Channeling the few yoga classes I took years ago, I stretched my arms up, feeling my hips and back come along for the ride.
“Do you think a forward bend would make you dizzy?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Let’s find out.”
Stretching up and forward, I folded at the waist until my hands were dangling near the floor. Then after a few deep breaths, my palms touched the carpet.
“Wow, you’re pretty flexible,” Liam said.
I couldn’t help but think of that in a slightly naughty way, and tried to keep my grin to myself.
After dangling for a moment, I could feel my shoulders release. Slowly pulling back up, I reached out for the bookshelf, then did a few runner’s stretches for my legs.
“Perfect,” Liam approved.
“I’m just guessing you’re a gym guy, aren’t you?”
“Nah, I got this big from working on the computer all day. Something about the radiation in the new laptops.”
I’d never laughed this much with a guy. With anyone besides my friend Angie. It was really helping to balance this dark cloud.
“How about something semi-aerobic for a few minutes?” Liam suggested. “Marching in place?”
With a heavy sigh, I reluctantly let go of the shelf, marching with my knees up while swinging my arms briskly. Every ten steps or so, I reached out to tap the shelf so that I knew where I was.
On some level, I knew precisely where I was. I could visualize it. But I could be off by a few inches. Which didn’t technically matter, but it was eerie. I knew that Liam would stop me before I veered into the table. I knew that I was safe. But the feeli
ng that I was floating in space didn’t let me relax about it for a second.
“How about this?” Liam asked, moving to stand behind me and placing his hand on my shoulder. “I won’t let you wander.”
“Thank you.”
It was fascinating how sensitive he was, always seeming to be reading my body language and seeing what I needed before I fully realized it myself.
After about three minutes, boredom crept in. “My blood is flowing. Is that enough?”
“Sure,” he chuckled. His hand stayed on my shoulder as I turned toward him. “I realize that it must be weird moving around when you can’t see your feet.”
“Exactly.”
He took my hands, guiding me as he stepped back and forth, swinging my arms. “Pretend it’s an old folk dance,” he said hopefully.
I grinned as we stepped side to side, in time to an imaginary beat. With our clasped hands between us, I was able to move freely, feeling safe.
After about two minutes, Liam stopped, pulling me toward him for a little hug. “Thanks for the dance,” he said. “Also, you’re being a very good sport.”
“Thank you for making this much less annoying.” My arms wrapped around him, realizing just how huge he was. But the hug was over far too soon. “Do you think Gwen will be happy with that much exercise?” I asked.
“I’ll fudge the report if you like,” he chuckled.
He led me to the couch as I said, “It’s funny knowing that she’s still overseeing my healing process.”
His hand skimmed along the back of my shoulder, then held still for a moment before he sat back. “My sister has always been incredibly dedicated. It’s likely driving her nuts that she got injured.”
“How is she doing?”
“She says that it doesn’t hurt unless she puts weight on it.” He chuckled. “But there is some sexy neighbor who has offered to help her out, so… who knows what they might be up to.” He paused, maybe shaking his head. “I don’t want to think about it. My sister goes through phases of, shall we say, a very active social life.”
The couch shifted as Liam moved slightly. “What about you?” he asked. “Shouldn’t a nice girl like you have friends dropping in all the time?”
I smirked. “No. I’m a bit of a loner. My best friend Angie moved to Australia with the love of her life. We do video calls, but I don’t want her to see me like this.”
“Then do a voice call,” he suggested. “You should call her today.” He sighed. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound pushy or anything. It’s just that… old friends can be comforting.” He patted my knee lightly. “I know this is a rough time for you, and I’m a total stranger. Maybe give Angie a call and you can tell her how weird your man nurse is. Should be good for a laugh.”
I giggled. There was no way I’d be able to describe how sexy Liam sounded, and the confident, casual way he was always touching me. But Angie would certainly have a great laugh with me.
“You’re right. I’ll call her tonight.”
A few hours later, after I locked the door behind Liam, I took my phone and went to bed. I wasn’t sleepy yet, just feeling a bit fragile. It felt safest in bed.
It was funny that this brilliant, sweet man could read me like a book without even seeing my expressions properly. He could tell that I was pig-headed about accepting help.
On my one-woman island, I was able to control things. If anything went off track, I had only myself to deal with. It was simpler this way. I’d seen too many examples throughout my life of women who were dependent on men.
I didn’t want to judge anyone, but sometimes it crept in. Many men treated women as cute little idiots, who were around for decoration. I had a girlfriend in college who was sharp as a tack, but her boyfriend treated her as she had the IQ of soup.
Lying across the bed, I gave my limbs a little stretch and wiggle. I was tense.
Thinking back to my childhood, I knew that my parent’s relationship had always bothered me. My father had been the man of the house. Even though my mother was the one who actually did far more work and held everything together, he treated her as sort of an employee. He always had to have the final word and approval on any major decisions.
Which was ridiculous most of the time. He had no clue what features we needed in a washing machine since he’d never touched one in his life. But the headache he gave my mother as he yattered on about his important decision was ridiculous.
As always, I avoided their bickering by hiding with a book.
The thing that drove me nuts was that she never seemed to speak up for herself. Had she presented a logical argument, and used her adult voice, he may have listened. Instead, she cringed and cowered, always giving in to him.
Since I couldn’t watch television, I mentally ran through the relationships in my life I’d been closest to. In most of them, the man had taken control, and the woman was dependent on him.
There were very few that I would consider a fairly even split of responsibility and energy. The only one that stood out as a shining example was my friend Angie and her husband, Matt.
He had come to Canada for university, and they’d clicked right away. He never tried to care for her in a controlling way, and was one of the sweetest men I’d ever met.
I grinned to myself, recalling the day where Matt had me sneak into Angie’s room during a party to size her rings. I went with him to the jewelry store to help him pick an engagement ring. They were partners in every way, and it was sweet to watch their whole relationship develop.
Part of their engagement arrangement was that she would come home to Australia with him for two years. After they’d each spent some time in both countries, they’d decide together where to live and put down roots.
Somehow they had the most civilized relationship I’d ever seen. They cared for each other, and gave each other space whenever they needed it.
Naturally, I was disappointed when Angie told me that she had chosen koalas and kangaroos over her best friend. But she sounded so happy that I forgave her in about ten seconds. Okay, maybe twenty.
“Call Angie,” I said to my phone. I was actually becoming more accustomed to the voice-activated features.
I realized at the last minute that I should have checked on the time difference, but it was already ringing.
“Kayla! How are you?”
“Please tell me it’s a reasonable hour there?”
Angie’s laugh rang through the connection clear as a bell. “You’re good. It’s almost nine in the morning here. I’m just making breakfast.”
“You haven’t been kicked by a kangaroo yet? I’ve heard they can be violent.”
“Nah, there aren’t many in this area.” I heard her rattle some dishes. “What’s up with you? Weren’t you getting that eye thing done?”
“Yeah. I’m lying in my bed blind as a bat right now.”
I quickly filled her in on the past few days.
“Interesting,” she said. I could picture her nodding and tilting her head from side to side as she always did when she was thinking about whether she should offend me. “And you’re okay with a strange man in your space, taking care of you?”
I laughed. “I was jumpy as hell as first, of course. But Liam’s really a sweet guy. He’s been amazing to me. Honestly, I don’t know how I can thank him enough.”
“And you’re okay with someone taking care of you? Telling you what to do, and controlling your life?”
“Um…” I sat up, as if that would improve my focus. “So far the major decisions have been lunch based. Things that don’t matter, really.”
“But you’ve always had your back up about anyone helping you, ever. How are you doing with that?”
“This is different, obviously.”
“Still.” There were chopping sounds. “Why are you able to handle it with him? Think about this.”
“What are you trying to tell me?” I asked.
“I’m trying to subtly point out that you’re ass over teakettle for t
his dude. Major crush.”
I laughed so hard I nearly choked. “I don’t even know him,” I finally said.
“I can hear it in your voice. You’re really into him.” Before I could reply, she quickly added, “Which is amazing. You’ve always been fussy about men, which is good. You’re particular, and won’t settle. That’s great. But you obviously have it bad for this guy, so I hope you’ll continue letting him in when you have your sight back.”
I could never hide anything from her. “He’s a huge, hulking wall of muscle, and I swear when he holds me, I feel my ankles twitch,” I nearly whispered.
Angie’s laugh was so loud I had to pull the phone back a little. “That’s amazing. So, he’s hot, I assume?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him.”
“Oh, shit. Right. Huh.”
“And he hasn’t seen me, so there’s that.”
“You’re gorgeous, Kayla,” Angie said quickly. “Trust me, he’ll go nuts when he sees your eyes.”
“Maybe if they’re straight this time.”
She sighed heavily. “They were a bit off, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as you seemed to think.”
“I’m a circus freak. It’s okay, I’m used to it.”
“You are not. Don’t you dare speak like that about my best friend. So what, your eye was a bit off. It was quirky.”
“Whatever.”
“Trust me, he’ll think you’re beautiful. Everyone does.”
“I still might not be his type. You never know – he might only be into tattooed punk chicks, or naughty librarians.”
I had to hold the phone away again until her laughter died down. “Okay, true. You can’t know what he’s thinking. But if he’s sweet to you, get to know him, and give him a chance.”
“I will.”
“And let him take care of you, even when you can see again. Girl, your independence is great, but people need people.”
“Funny, that’s what Liam said.”
“Smart guy. Listen to him,” Angie ordered.
“Yes, ma’am,” I snorted. “I’ll try.”
“Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass.”
I was hit with a wave of sadness as I realized her threat meant nothing now that she was no longer ten minutes away. “I miss you.”