Then she remembered the wonderful night she’d spent with Liosh, just cuddling and talking. The way he was so gentle with her…the way he had tucked her into bed and kissed her goodnight…
The memory made Melli feel warm and tingly all over.
What an amazing guy!
And now it smelled like he was cooking breakfast for her. Talk about a keeper!
Only you can’t keep him, Melli, a little voice in her head whispered. You know you can’t. He might be willing to just cuddle you and tuck you in right now, but you know all guys eventually want sex. And you can’t give that to him—you can’t give it to anyone.
Her stomach clenched with unhappiness and for a moment she felt the cold, gray curtain of depression that had haunted her in high school trying to descend.
But no—she wasn’t going to let that happen to her, Melli decided firmly—though with an effort. She was going to live in the present—not the past or the future. She wasn’t going to project her doubts and worries and speculations onto today—she was just going to enjoy being with Liosh for as long as she could and leave it at that.
This was a technique she’d learned in therapy—living in the present—and while it was a real effort sometimes, it often saved her sanity.
Live in the present, Melli told herself again. What can I do right now, today, that will make my world a better place?
Her eyes fell on the dirty laundry hamper which she knew was almost full and she sighed. Well, laundry wasn’t her favorite chore, but it would certainly make a positive impact and she definitely needed some clean clothes to wear to class later today.
She got out of bed and took a tentative step on her recently-healed leg. To her relief, she didn’t feel any kind of pain at all. In fact, the light cast she had on seemed to be loosening on its own.
Melli frowned. Hadn’t Commander Sylvan said that when her bone was completely healed, the cast would come off spontaneously? So much had been happening, what with she and Jodi being assigned personal Kindred guards, that the medical instructions he’d given her had gotten kind of jumbled up. But she was pretty sure she was right.
Experimentally, she wiggled her leg and the cast suddenly slipped right off.
Melli looked at it and smiled. Well—that certainly seemed to be a good sign.
See? she told herself. The day is starting off on a good note. Just enjoy it!
And also, she needed to do the laundry—all the laundry, which meant she was going to have to go scouting under the bed for anything that might have fallen or been kicked or pushed under there.
Squinting, she looked under the full-sized bed—which was now neatly made up. She was pretty sure she could see her favorite t-shirt down there and maybe a pair of socks. She needed to get everything gathered up and into the wash soon if she wanted to get it all washed and dried before her first class.
Though her leg was now apparently healed, Melli was still a bit dubious about getting down on her hands and knees. Still, how else was she going to get to her half-hidden clothing?
She was just starting to lever herself down when the bedroom door opened and Liosh came in, smiling.
“Good morning, my Lady. I made you First Meal if you’re hungry.”
Then his smile turned into a frown when he saw Melli down on the floor.
“What are you doing down there? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Melli assured him. “In fact, my cast fell off this morning which means my leg is all healed—see?” She pointed to the discarded cast and smiled at him.
“All right, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re down on the floor,” Liosh remarked. “Did you drop something?”
“Several somethings,” Melli admitted. “I need to do a load of laundry today but a bunch of my clothes are under the bed. I, uh, pushed them under there the last time my absentee roommate’s parents came to see her. I didn’t want them to think I was a slob.” She made a face. “Although, I kind of am—at least if you listen to Jodi.”
“Your domicile is fine—just a little cluttered,” Liosh said kindly. “But please don’t strain yourself—even if your leg is healed, it might still be fragile. Let me.”
And he promptly got down on the floor beside her and began reaching under the bed.
With her hair rumpled up into a golden halo and her blue eyes still a bit sleepy, Liosh thought Melinda was even more adorable in the morning than she’d been the night before. He hoped she liked the First Meal he had made her on the hot plate—he had used the chicken embryos that humans called “eggs” and seasoned them with some spices he had found in her cabinets. They tasted good to Liosh, so hopefully he had done it right.
Now he reached under the sleeping platform with his long arm, trying to gather all the discarded clothing that had somehow gotten under there. He would feed her a delicious First Meal and then help her wash her clothing, he thought to himself. Of course, he knew what he was doing—he was caring for her as though they were already bonded, even though they weren’t and Melinda seemed to think for some reason, that they could never be.
Liosh hoped to find a way to change her mind. And in the meantime, he honestly didn’t mind doing domestic duties. It was only fair that he share the chores, since he was living in her domicile.
“Oh look!” Melinda exclaimed, as he pulled an article of clothing out from under the bed. “My favorite pair of jeans! I thought I’d lost those.”
She was a little less enthusiastic about the next item of clothing he pulled out, though—a tiny, wispy scrap of lace that seemed to have no purpose.
“What’s this?” Liosh asked, holding it up—it was practically see-through and seemed to be held together with stretchy strings—it did have a very intriguing scent, though. What could be its purpose? “It doesn’t seem big enough to cover any part of you,” he remarked. “Unless it’s a hand or foot covering? But what use are the strings?”
“Oh!” Melinda’s cheeks went pink. “Those are just…they’re a pair of my, uh…”
“Your what?” Liosh looked at her with confusion.
“My panties,” she said in a low voice.
“Panties?” Suddenly Liosh remembered their conversation of the night before, when he had been telling Melinda about the scent books they sold in the Unmated Males section and how she had said that Earth girls wore sex shields called “panties” all the time.
So this little lacy undergarment he was holding was something she’d been wearing right next to her sweet, soft little pussy.
The realization made his shaft swell with a sudden, fierce heat. He’d been holding back his sexual desire for Melinda because he sensed that she might have a shadowed past—a reason for fear or distrust. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t want her—he did. He longed to kiss her and caress her and show her how loved and lovely she was—he wanted to eat her sweet, creamy pussy for hours and feel her coming against his tongue before sliding his shaft to the hilt inside her and bonding her to him forever.
But now was not the time. Some things just couldn’t be rushed.
“Forgive me,” he said, giving her the panties. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”
“Oh, no—it’s fine.” She gave a self-deprecating little laugh. “There’s probably a matching bra under there too if you can find it.”
“A bra?” Liosh frowned.
“It’s like the top part of a set off underwear,” Melinda explained. “It lifts and supports your, uh, breasts.” Her cheeks were pink again but she was smiling at him in that shy way she had that showed her dimple. “Don’t the women on Tranq Prime wear any support garments?” she asked.
“Well…I believe that the tharps I told you about provide all the support they need,” Liosh told her. “Let me see if I can find this support garment you’re talking about, though.”
He reached back under the bed, stretching his arm as far as it would go but this time what his seeking fingertips found wasn’t cloth—it was cool to the touch and felt rather l
ike plastic.
Frowning, Liosh wrapped his fingers around it and pulled it out. It was indeed, a clear plastic box. Inside it were a number of long, cylindrical objects that seemed to range in size from the circumference of a pencil, to that of a small cucumber. There were about five of them in all and they were all made of the same smooth, pale pink plastic and were all tapered at one end.
“Hmm…” Liosh looked at the box uncertainly. “What are these? Some kind of writing implements?” he asked Melinda.
But she didn’t answer and when he looked up, he saw she had gone extremely pale, though there were two spots of color burning high on her cheeks. Liosh was immediately concerned.
“Melinda?” he asked. “Is everything all right?”
“Fine. Everything is just fine.” She snatched the box out of his hand and shoved it quickly under the smaller bed, which was behind her. “So—what’s for breakfast? I can smell that you’ve been cooking,” she said brightly, clearly trying to change the subject.
Liosh looked at her in surprise. What in the world had those cylindrical objects been and why had they made her so upset? He wished he could ask, but clearly the subject upset her. It seemed at this point the best thing he could do was let it drop.
But there was one thing about them that still intrigued him—the box with the objects in it had had the same faint but delicious scent as the wispy panties he had found earlier.
Both of them smelled like Melinda—specifically, like her sweet little pussy.
Can’t believe he found those!
Melinda looked down at her plate as she ate the undeniably delicious scrambled eggs Liosh had made her. He had put soy sauce in them of all things, but somehow it worked. The eggs were some of the best she’d ever had…but she wasn’t really enjoying them.
Can’t believe he found them, she thought again. I thought they were hidden.
He found them because your idea of hiding anything is shoving it under the bed, whispered a little voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like her sister.
Jodi was always lecturing Melli about the need to be neater—in this case, maybe she’d been right. But the problem was, Melli had forgotten all about the things that Liosh had found. Maybe because she’d given up on getting them to work a long, long time ago…
“Are you well, Melinda?” Liosh’s voice broke into her thoughts and Melli looked up to see the big Blood Kindred staring at her with a worried look on his handsome face.
“Oh, fine,” she said quickly. “I’m just…just thinking about…about all the things you told me last night, about your home world.”
“You are?” Liosh smiled.
“Uh-huh. I was wondering if I could use you as the subject for my Sociology paper,” Melli said, coming up with the idea on the spot. It was actually a good idea though, since she still hadn’t thought of anything to write about yet. “I’m supposed to write about the courting and marriage customs of another culture,” she went on. “And I was hoping you would let me interview you about the Blood Kindred.”
Liosh laughed.
“Is that why you were so curious last night? I don’t know what else I can tell you but certainly, I’d be honored to be the subject of your paper.”
“Not you specifically—just your people. The Blood Kindred of Tranq Prime,” Melli explained. Now that she had come up with the idea, she was really getting into it.
“That’s fine.” He nodded. “What do you want to know?”
“Oh just things like…how do you attract your mates in the first place? And what are your marriage customs? And things like that,” Melli said.
“Well, if you want to know about our Joining ceremony, it can be rather formal—everyone has to wear the traditional dress of our people, which is a tharp of course, though males and females wear them differently,” Liosh told her. “But more important even than the Joining, is the Bonding.”
“The, uh, Bonding? What’s that?” Melli asked, taking another bite of her eggs.
“It’s the way a Kindred warrior ties his female to him for life,” Liosh explained. “It’s a way to form a permanent mental and emotional bond with the female you love.”
“A mental and emotional bond? How do you mean?” Melli asked, fascinated.
“Remember how it was when one of us wore the Think-me and we could hear each other’s thoughts?” Liosh asked.
Melli nodded. “Yes, that was amazing.”
“Well, the bond between a Kindred and his female is kind of like that,” he explained. “Only it allows not just thoughts but also emotions to flow between the two of them—which enables a sense of unity and oneness that never fades for as long as they live.”
“Oh!” Melli exclaimed. “That must be the reason you guys don’t have divorce or cheating in your culture. How could you cheat if you always had your spouse in your head?”
“I think you mean, why would you cheat when you are bound both mentally and emotionally to the female the Goddess has chosen for you,” Liosh said gently. “It’s a wonderful thing, to find the female who is right for you and to bond her to you. It is what all Kindred hope for, you know.”
“That’s beautiful,” Melli breathed. “Really romantic. But…” she frowned. “How does this amazing bond form in the first place? Is it something that just grows after the two of you get married…er, Joined?”
Liosh shook his head.
“Different kinds of Kindred bond with females different ways,” he said. “With Blood Kindred, though, it has to do with our fangs.”
“Your…your fangs?” Melli faltered.
Though Liosh was such an incredibly nice guy, she could never quite forget that he had those two sets of very sharp fangs in his upper jaw, just where a human man would have his incisors. It made him look a little like a handsome vampire, which was kind of scary. She didn’t like being poked with needles and the idea of being bitten wasn’t very appealing either.
“Do you…do you drink your, uh, female’s blood to bond her to you?” she asked, eyeing the sharp-looking points in his mouth.
Liosh shook his head.
“My fangs aren’t for drawing blood—they are for injecting essence.”
“Essence?” Melli frowned. “What’s that?”
“A pale blue liquid that my fangs produce,” he explained. “I will use it to bond my female to me when the time is right…or I may also use it to heal her if she has any kind of injury or abrasion.”
“Really?” Melli was intrigued. “So you have a kind of pharmacy in your mouth?”
He laughed. “I don’t know if I’d call it that but those are the main purposes of essence—healing and bonding.”
“So—what? You just bite her and inject your essence and then the two of you are bonded?” Melli asked.
“Not…exactly.” For the first time she thought Liosh looked a little uncomfortable. “There’s…a bit more to it than that,” he admitted at last.
“There is? What? Melli asked, taking another bite of eggs.
“Well, in order to bond a female to him, a Blood Kindred also has to be…intimate with her as well.”
“Intimate? How intimate?” Melli asked, taking a sip of the excellent coffee he had made.
Liosh took a deep breath.
“In order to bond his female to him, a Blood Kindred must have his shaft inside his female—all the way inside. He must be injecting her with his essence as the same time he fills her with his seed,” he explained.
Melli felt as though someone had just thrown a glass of ice-water in her face. She let her fork with the next bite of egg drop back to the plate.
“Oh,” she somehow managed to say. “Is…is that so?”
“Yes—that is the only way to bond a female.” Liosh looked at her in obvious concern. “My lady Melinda, are you all right? You seem upset all of a sudden.”
“I’m fine,” Melli said quickly. “Just…digesting all this information…along with the wonderful soy sauce eggs you made.” She tried to laugh.
“Um, so do Kindred warriors always bond their, uh, females to them? I mean, do any of them just stay together but, you know, not bond?”
Liosh frowned.
“Why would anyone do that? Why would you deny yourself the richness and love and companionship that comes with a strong bonding with your bride? Having a relationship without bonding would be like having a delicious dessert and never taking a bite of it but only looking at it every day.”
“Oh…” Melli’s heart felt like it was made of lead—it had dropped right down to her toes. “I…I see,” she somehow managed. “Yes, I guess that makes sense.”
“Are you all right?” Liosh asked again. “Your face is so pale now.”
“It’s fine…I’m fine.” Melli made a desperate effort to try and smile. But inside she felt like crying…or dying.
Somehow the night before when Liosh had been holding her on the loveseat and they had been talking about everything and nothing, she’d gotten the silly fantasy into her head that they might stay together. And maybe, just maybe, Liosh was such a nice guy that he wouldn’t mind that she couldn’t have sex and he’d want to be with her anyway.
But she knew now that she’d just been fooling herself. After all, what man would want to stay with a girl long-term who couldn’t give him sex? All men wanted it—even wonderful, kind, honorable Kindred warriors did. In fact, they needed it even more than human men did because it was the only way for them to form their all-important bond with their wives.
It’s time to stop being a fool and living in a fantasy land, Melli, whispered an unkind little voice in her head. It’s time to admit that no man—ever—is going to want you when you can’t give them what they all want and need.
When you can’t give them sex.
Fifteen
The morning meal was tense but Vorn kept his head down and helped with the dishes, which Jodi seemed to appreciate, and somehow they got through it. Then she announced she was going to the University and he could stay at her apartment if he wanted to.
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