by Tawna Fenske
“I see.” I’m not completely sure I do, though. “Why lie to me? I mean, I understand lying to classmates or friends, maybe. Wanting to seem more experienced. But I’m your sister. Your twin. We share everything.”
At least I thought we did.
Vanessa looks at me, remorse heavy in her eyes. “Remember how long you and Phillip had been dating then?”
I cock my head, baffled by the turn in conversation. “A little over two years. What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You hadn’t slept together,” she says. “You were curious, and you wanted to, but you kept finding reasons not to. You were afraid it might hurt or might make things complicated, and you kept building sex up to be this huge, scary thing.”
I open my mouth to argue but close it again. She’s right. “You pretended to lose your virginity so I’d be less freaked out about losing mine?”
Vanessa looks down at her lap. “It sounds dumb when you put it like that, but yeah. I thought—I mean, you never did anything unless I did it. Our whole lives, it’s like you were waiting for me to jump first. So I gave you a nudge.”
Part of me is reeling from the manipulation. Another small part of me admits she’s right. I was curious about sex and eager to take the plunge with my sweet, dependable, longtime boyfriend.
But I kept chickening out. At least I did until Ness was there assuring me sex was fun and easy and no big deal.
“You were right,” I admit. “Even if you didn’t know firsthand, sex was way more fun than scary.”
She bites her lip. “Are you glad you did it with Phillip?”
“Yeah.” I laugh as relief washes over my sister’s face. “He was a good first. Sweet and gentle and pretty nerdy about the whole thing. He busted out an anatomy book once to make sure he knew exactly how to get me off.”
Ness laughs. “That is dorktastically awesome.”
“It kinda was. We spent our whole freshman year figuring out how our bodies worked.”
And then we parted as good friends. Last I heard, he’s engaged to a dentist in New Hampshire.
“Can you forgive me?” she asks. “For manipulating you like that. For lying?”
“Forgiven.” As I say the word, I realize it’s completely true. I’ve never been able to stay mad at my sister, but this really does feel like water under the bridge.
Headlights flash through the window, and Ness and I crane our necks to see. “Is that Josh’s truck?”
I glance at my watch. “They’re home earlier than I thought.”
“Maybe Raleigh didn’t like snowshoeing.”
As the truck door swings open, and Josh ambles around to the passenger side, it becomes apparent what Raleigh did like.
“Oh, shit.” Vanessa stands up. “He’s wasted.”
“Yeah.” I frown as Josh leads a staggering Raleigh up the walkway and through the front door. “Does that happen a lot?”
“Not at all,” she says. “Only since we’ve been here. I guess he’s really into the Oregon wine. Or maybe it’s the celebratory wedding vibe.”
Or maybe he’s an asshole.
The thought flits through my head unexpectedly as I glance at my sister’s worried face. But then the men push through the door, and Nessie lights up with love and concern.
“Raleigh, are you okay?”
“Hey, babe.” He grins and sways on his feet, reaching out to grip the doorframe. “Have you tried that Hazelnut Espresso Vodka from Bendistillery?”
Okay, so not just wine. And the annoyed look on Josh’s face is a good indication what the night’s been like.
Vanessa sees it, too, and moves quickly to hustle Raleigh away. “Come on, hon.” She ducks under his arm and transfers his weight to her shoulders to lead him down the hall to their bedroom. “Let’s get you into bed.”
She stops long enough to snag a copper garbage pail from the hall bathroom, propping Raleigh against the wall like a tipsy mannequin.
And then they’re gone, leaving Josh and me alone in the living room. I look up at him and grimace. “Rough night?”
He shakes his head and deflates onto the sofa. “I had to cut out early to get him home,” he says. “He face-planted in a tree well and couldn’t get himself out.”
“Oh, God.” I sit down beside him and clasp my hands between my knees. “I swear he’s not normally like that. He’s actually a really nice guy.”
“I’m sure he is.” Josh doesn’t sound sure at all. “People cut loose at bachelor parties all the time. I’ve seen worse.”
He’s being charitable, I can tell. I hate that he had to deal with that, and I know Nessie’s going to be mortified in the morning.
“Hey.” Josh reaches up and glides the pad of his thumb between my brows. “You get this little crease right here when you’re worried. Everything’s fine, Val.” He smiles. “Way more than fine, now that I’m with you.”
It does feel pretty damn good, and even better when he drops his hand from my forehead to my face to stroke my cheek. I can’t resist the urge to lean close and kiss him, breathing in the scent of bonfire and snow and something deliciously male.
I also can’t stop thinking about what could have happened out there. I pull back to look him in the eye. “People die all the time in tree wells, don’t they? I’ve read about that—they fall in headfirst and can’t get out, and they basically drown.”
“This is true.” His voice is soothing, and so is his palm skimming up and down my arm. “But usually, they don’t.”
“I’ve always been terrified of that,” I admit. “It’s why I’ve never gone snowboarding or skiing or snowshoeing.”
“Fear can be a hard thing to shake,” he says.
I nod, grateful he knows the whole story. The forest and my creepy ex-agent and all the things that have made me the big chicken I am. He knows, and he’s here anyway, looking into my eyes like he really sees me.
“Tell me what else you’re terrified of.” He’s got both palms stroking my arms now, slow and gentle like he’s soothing a skittish horse. “I’m guessing it’s a long list.”
I’m embarrassed to admit it is. But embarrassment doesn’t keep me from opening my mouth to tell him. “I used to be afraid of sharks,” I confess. “I still am, but this was serious. I wouldn’t swim in the pool at the country club because of it.”
He smiles and slides one hand to my knee, slipping beneath the hem of my skirt to caress my thigh. It’s meant to be soothing, I think, but his touch strikes a match on my libido.
“I trust you got over that one?”
“Just barely. I was captain of my high school swim team, but I still sometimes caught myself checking the lanes for fins.”
He laughs, a warm, low baritone that vibrates down his arms and through his palms, electrifying the flesh he’s touching. “I love that about you,” he says. “How you can laugh at yourself.”
Laughter isn’t what’s bubbling up inside me as Josh’s palm skims the inside of my thigh. I respond like a tabby in a pile of catnip.
“I was so afraid of tornadoes that I wouldn’t drive past the trailer park on the south end of town,” I admit. “That’s where they always struck when I heard about them on the news, so it seemed smart to steer clear.”
Josh lifts one sandy brow. “Didn’t you grow up in Maine? I didn’t think they had tornadoes there.”
“They don’t.” Heat creeps into my cheeks, but it’s got nothing to do with embarrassment. It’s all about the way Josh’s fingertips just grazed the nerve-electrified spot behind my knee. I slip my knees apart just a little, willing him to go higher. “I’m not saying it’s a rational fear.”
“What’s your most irrational one?” Again with the low, sexy tone. He could read the ingredients off my grandma’s denture cream, and I’d liquify at the sound of his voice.
“I used to worry that if I closed my eyes in the shower, an axe murderer would show up and kill me.” My voice sounds husky now, too, quivery and soft. “I got a lot of soap
in my eyes.”
Josh laughs and moves his hand higher up my thigh. “Now I’m picturing you in the shower,” he says. “There’s a pretty thought.”
And now I’m picturing him in there with me, soapy and hard and moving behind me. A little moan slips out as his palm glides farther up my thigh. “When I was seven, I heard someone talking about getting fired,” I admit. “I was convinced that if my dad ever lost his job, he’d actually be lit on fire.”
“That’s rough.” His hand slips higher, fingertips grazing the damp edge of my panties, and I groan much louder this time. “You ever do that thing where you’re in bed, and your arm or your leg slips out of the blankets, and you’re positive a monster’s going to grab whatever body part isn’t covered?”
“Yes!” The word comes out on a breathy hiss because ohmygod, the way he’s stroking me with the tip of his finger is unreal. “Or you’re afraid to get out of bed because someone underneath it will grab your ankles and pull you under.”
“I feel ya.” He’s feeling me in one of the most intimate ways possible, and I swear I could actually come like this. “Anything else?”
I open my eyes, which I’m just realizing have drifted shut. His gaze locks on mine, and the heat between us literally crackles. Swear to God, I actually hear it. Or maybe that’s lightning outside.
It bursts across the sky, a big, white slash followed by a boom of thunder. Josh sees my gaze flick to the window, and his hand stills between my legs. “You’re not afraid of thunderstorms, are you? We get them a lot out here.”
“No.” I shake my head, afraid of almost nothing at the moment. Not sharks or clowns or spiders or even waking up tomorrow and learning this thing between Josh and me was just a temporary fling. Even that doesn’t scare me, not now.
Just one thing does. I say it loud and clear so there’s no question what I want from him right now.
“I’m afraid if you don’t take me to bed right now, I’m going to explode.”
The grin that spreads across his face is sexy and primal and hot enough to melt what’s left of my panties. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”
“Nope.” I shake my head, wondering why he’s not moving. Crap, did I scare him off?
He stands up and flashes a grin that nudges me into the explosion zone again. “Where’s your bedroom?” He doesn’t wait for my answer. Just scoops me into his arms like I weigh nothing at all. “Which way?”
“Last door on the left.” I wrap my arms around his neck, conscious of my heart thudding in my ears. “Are we really doing this?”
“Yep.” He grins. “If you mean it.”
I wait for my heart to freak out. For panic to hit or for me to obsess over something dumb like whether his knees might give out under my weight.
But there’s none of that. There’s emotion, sure, and it’s sizzling through me at warp speed. Excitement. Yearning. Hunger.
And not one trace of fear.
“I mean it.” I lick my lips and press my mouth to his throat as he carries me to the bedroom.
Chapter 8
JOSH
I resist my caveman urge to toss Val back on the bed. Instead, I place her gently with her head on the pillow.
She’s having none of that.
“More,” she commands, grabbing the front of my shirt to pull me down on top of her.
“Yes, ma’am,” I manage before my lips collide with hers.
We kiss like that for ages, hungry for the taste of one another. Her body is on fire under mine, hips moving like I’m already inside her. She nips at my bottom lip and draws it into her mouth, moaning like she’s tasting something delicious.
“God, Josh,” she groans. “You feel so good.”
I’m worried about crushing her but can’t seem to make myself roll away. Can’t break contact no matter how badly I want to get our clothes off. My cock strains at my fly like it’s ready to bust right through the zipper, and Val’s not helping things the way she’s grinding against me. But I don’t want her to stop.
I finally roll, carrying her with me so she’s on top. She sits back and smiles, but it’s a different smile than I’ve ever seen. No dimples, just bright, electric heat. Lightning slashes the sky though the window behind her, but she doesn’t flinch.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.”
She laughs and leans down, a lock of hair falling over her face. “You’re pretty tasty yourself.”
Her hair tickles my nose as she kisses me, but I don’t brush it away. I’m savoring every sensation, every whisper of breath along my neck, every vibration of her moans as I ease her shirt over her head.
She claws at my T-shirt like she’s forgotten how armholes work, and maybe she has. That’s how mind-whacked we both are right now. I help her tug the hem up and over my chest.
“Jesus Christ,” she breathes, looking into my eyes with a reverence that stops my heart. “I can’t believe how much I want you.”
“I’ve wanted you from the first moment I saw you.”
Her eyes flicker for a second, and I hope that’s not the wrong thing to say. The first moment I saw her, I thought she was her sister.
That’s not what I mean at all.
Val’s twin is the furthest thing from my mind. Every ounce of my being— every heartbeat, every whisper of breath on heated skin—it’s focused on Valerie, on how badly I want to be with her.
I need the rest of our clothes off now.
“Let me.” She slides off and grabs my fly, bold and daring and beautiful in the moonlight streaming through her window. Lightning cracks again, and she glances outside.
I’m expecting her to close the blinds. To jump off the bed with a comment about not putting on a show for resort guests. I wouldn’t blame her, though this window faces an open meadow, and it’s pitch black in our room. Just the faint glow of moonlight and bright bursts of lightning in the distance.
She turns back to me and smiles, unaffected by the fear of giving a peep show to crickets and coyotes. Slowly, she unzips my fly and drags my jeans down my legs, taking my underwear and socks and shoes with her until everything lies balled up at the foot of the bed.
“Let me touch you,” I beg as she sits back on her heels with her perfect breasts too far away from my mouth.
Valerie just grins. “Let me taste you.”
Then she’s moving down my body, breasts pressing into my thighs as she takes me into her mouth. “Oh, God.”
I dig my fingers into the comforter and close my eyes, unhinged by the bliss of her tongue moving over me, her fist tight around the base. Jesus Christ, I can’t catch my breath. I didn’t expect this, this raw fearlessness in her. This flood of emotion in me.
Unclenching my fingers from the comforter, I slide them into her hair and groan her name like a prayer. “Val. Jesus, what you do to me.”
It’s not just the physical act. It’s who’s doing it, this woman who makes me laugh and think and groan her name deep in the back of my throat. I’m going to lose it in about three seconds if she keeps doing this.
“Stop,” I breathe, pulling her up to make sure she complies. “Val, please. I need to be inside you.”
She smiles. “There’s a condom in my purse, but I don’t know where it is. You could call my phone to find it.”
“Not the phone.” I roll off the bed to find my jeans. “I don’t care if you have a thousand condoms and a meatball sub in there. I’m not letting you near that damn phone that’ll end up dialing your financial advisor or your parents or something.”
She laughs as I slip a condom out of my wallet. Val reaches for it, hands steady as she sheathes me quickly. The way she’s licking her lips brings me right back to the brink.
Lightning cracks again, sending sparks flashing through her hair. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
I sound like a broken record, but it’s true. I’ve never seen a woman more alive, more stunning in the moonlight.
And I’ve never wanted anyone more.
She meets my eyes like she’s heard my thoughts. “I need you, Josh.”
Jesus, the way she says my name. And the way she’s looking at me like I’m the only man on Earth. I catch her by the waist and roll her onto her back, prepared to go slowly. To take my time with her.
But Val arches up, pushing her breasts into my chest as her heels press against my ass. “Josh, please.”
It’s the begging that unravels me, or maybe the way she’s moving under me, desperate to get me inside her. I enter her in one slick stroke, groaning as she clenches around me.
“Oh, fuck.” Her voice splits the silence like thunder, spurring me on. Rain spatters on the roof outside, but I’m too focused on this moment, this woman, to register the summer rainstorm.
The way she’s moaning is bound to wake up the rest of the house. I expect her to censor her cries, to rein herself in.
But she doesn’t fucking care who hears, and I love it. I goddamn love it.
I drive into her, and she cries out again, dragging her nails down my back. The things she’s whispering in my ear—harder, just like that, please don’t stop—are my fucking kryptonite.
I can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth, the frenzied way she’s moving beneath me, the fact that I’m on the brink of losing it already when we’ve hardly gotten started.
“Oh God, I’m coming.”
Maybe it’s the shock of hearing her say it out loud, or the way her eyes go wide in stunned astonishment. She shrieks so loudly I’m sure they hear us two states over, never mind the next room.
I don’t care about that. All I care about is Val pulsing around me as I let go at last, driving into her until we’re both wrung out and panting in exhaustion.
Her smile is sheepish as I roll away, pulling her with me so we lie facing each other on our sides. She swipes her forehead with the back of her hand. “I, uh—got kinda carried away.”
“I love it.” I lean down to kiss her, conscious of how close I just came to saying something else. Not it, but you.