Where Monsters Lie

by Polly Ho-Yen

  ‘We’ve got to get her back, Effie – she’ll drown,’ Finn said.

  ‘But . . . but . . .’ I said.

  ‘I’ll wade in.’ Finn took a step into the icy water. He shivered at its touch. ‘You get the raft. The Tree Cave’s not far away.’

  I didn’t want us to be parted. ‘Don’t go too far in. I’ll be right back.’

  In the fading light I darted off through the trees, following the path I knew so well that I could find my way even in the gloom. The raft was where we had left it, carefully tucked under a tarpaulin. I pulled the cover off roughly and lifted it onto its side so that I could drag it. I tucked the paddle under my arm and started to haul the raft back down the path towards the loch.

  It was heavier than it looked. I strained to pull it through the trees, and only the thought of my Finn wading into the icy water to save Rosemary Tanner gave me the strength to keep going.

  When I reached the loch at last, the water looked peaceful and black. The sky had become its dark mirror as the night drew in around me.

  There was no sign of Rosemary Tanner.

  And there was no sign of Finn.

  Chapter Fifty

  ‘Finn!’ I shouted – so loudly that it echoed around the loch in answer to itself.

  ‘Finn!’ I cried desperately. I pushed the raft into the loch and threw myself on it. It wobbled and bucked, but righted itself quickly, and I began to paddle out into the black water.

  ‘Finn! Finn! Finn!’

  By the light of the moon I thought I saw a bobbing head, and paddled as hard as I could towards it, making my own waves all around me. Desperate splashes replaced the sound of my shouts.

  But when I got to the place where I had glimpsed it, there was nothing there; the water all started to look the same. I could no longer tell where Rosemary Tanner had been heading, each ripple and wave part of the same repeating pattern.

  I thought of the flowering bladderwort; looking over to the water’s edge, I saw the patch of yellow where the flowers clustered. That was where Rosemary Tanner and then Finn had entered the water. I quickly paddled round to line myself up with the flowers, and then, without looking at the glossy surface of the black water, I jumped in.

  The cold stabbed into me like a thousand needles, paralysing my arms and legs. I felt myself begin to sink, a heavy lead weight, and desperately kicked upwards, my arms flailing, reaching.

  I broke the surface and saw for just a moment the round, glinting circle of the white moon and the shadow of our raft bobbing on the surface. Filling my lungs until they felt as if they might burst, I sank back down in search of Finn, in search of Rosemary Tanner.

  I kicked out desperately, and was sure that my foot had touched something, or that something had touched it. My eyes were tightly closed, though even if they’d been open, I would not have been able to see, so I simply explored all around me with my hands.

  That was when I felt it.

  Its skin was cold and as slippery as the body of a slug. It slid away, and I felt the strength and power within it as it surged past, making whirlpools around me.

  I was not alone in the water.

  Chapter Fifty-one

  As I hung there, as motionless as the bladderwort that also made its home in the loch, I thought of Finn. We had been led into the water, as the legend had foretold, and only if we fought and struggled against its power would we escape it.

  The thought propelled me to life and I reached out for Finn’s hand, a part of his trousers or coat. He had to be down there too.

  The chill of the water had penetrated my bones, and there was a part of me that, more than anything, wanted to stop struggling and just be; to become part of the water, another ripple upon its surface, a drop in the pool. And then I thought of Finn again, and I kicked out and beat my arms around me as though trying to escape from something.

  I thought of Mum too. Had she done this? Had she kicked out and fought, and then let it roll over her like a mist as the biting cold immobilized her?

  I knew that I didn’t have long to find them. I kept thinking of the powerful monster that had swept past me with the grace of a serpent. Were there others? Would their mouths rasp my skin and mark me with my own blood as the slugs had done?

  I kicked up to the surface once more and drew the air deep into my lungs. I thought I saw a figure on the path by the loch, a shadow by the trees, but I didn’t have time to linger before I began to sink down again.

  Finn! Finn! I shouted with my mind. Finn! I clawed my way out into the darkness as though I were in a fight, and immediately felt something in the water. Not the silky, ancient skin of a creature, but the texture of fabric.

  It made me think of the material of Mum’s dress, the one patterned with bladderwort, worn and soft. This was far rougher, thicker, heavier. I reached out for it once more, but this time I held it fast in my fist. I kicked upwards, awkwardly and desperately, for what I held onto hung in the water like a dead weight.

  I felt it slip between my fingers, and so I grabbed hold with my other hand too as I tugged it up with me.

  Please let it be Finn. Please let it be Finn.

  I pulled it up and up – until at last my head broke the surface and I saw the blurry circle of the moon overhead.

  ‘Finn! Finn!’ I shouted to the body in my arms.

  I had him. I held him.

  His skin looked even paler than the moon and he did not answer me.

  Chapter Fifty-two

  I kicked towards the raft, which sat bobbing on the ripples, and tried to swing Finn up onto the deck; he was too heavy to lift and I could only rest his head on the platform. I held onto him, my arms wrapped around him, sure that if I let go, we would begin to sink under the water. The very thought made me grip him tighter still. My fingers felt like claws, numb from being clamped onto the edge of the raft.

  And so I started our painful journey back to shore.

  With every kick I thought of Rosemary Tanner disappearing into the blackness, and of the powerful body that had swept past me under the water, but I couldn’t let go of Finn, not for a moment. I told myself that I would go back and find her once Finn was safely ashore. There was a voice needling me, reminding me that Rosemary Tanner had left my mum, that she hadn’t gone back for her, but there was a louder one telling me that I was not like her, that I could be different.

  I pushed and kicked the raft back towards the shore. I barely seemed to be moving at all, and I was already exhausted. Soon I felt myself sinking, and Finn slipping away from me. I couldn’t hold onto him and propel the raft forward at the same time.

  Finn felt impossibly heavy now, like a feeling that overwhelms you. I knew I didn’t have the strength to pull him back onto the raft, or to drag him to shore. I chose to hold onto him.

  We started to sink.

  For one moment something became so clear to me that it seemed to be happening in front of my eyes; not like imagining at all. I thought: This is how they will find us, locked together, my arms around Finn in a never-ending clasp.

  I shut my eyes as I felt the cold water surround me. Despite the ache in my chest and limbs, I kept my arms tightly around Finn. We were sinking deeper. The freezing water paralysed me.

  All I could do was hold onto Finn. It took every last bit of energy, and I knew that clinging onto him would be the last thing I ever did.

  Then something moved beneath us. I felt a nudge against my foot. The touch of something solid.

  For a horrible moment I thought that we had reached the bottom of the loch; we’d sunk so far that we could go no further.

  But then, all at once, there was a great surge of water beneath us; a wave that lifted us, a huge movement that swept the dark water, and us with it, towards the surface.

  It drove us upwards. We rose up through the loch, and then, just as we began to sink once more, it came again. Like the sweep of a tail, it propelled us on.

  We surged forward with its beat, and I felt my head break the water’s
surface and heard my ragged, broken gasp before we sank down once more and my ears filled with the muffled silence.

  And again it came, and again and again. Insistently. Mighty and strong. A strange pulsing movement from underneath that carried us through the water.

  Then strong arms were pulling us up, and I felt Finn being taken from me.

  ‘We’ve got you.’

  ‘You’re all right.’

  ‘We’re here.’

  Voices I knew as well as my own. Dad’s and Rob’s and Old Bill’s. But there were also sobs and cries.

  I looked over to see Finn’s lifeless face: he’d been laid out on the ground on his side. Then Kathleen and Rob leaned over him and I couldn’t see him any more, and my mind went blank and I felt my body fall in on itself and collapse beneath me.

  Chapter Fifty-three

  ‘Easy does it, Effie.’

  I heard his voice before I saw his face. Dad.

  ‘Finn,’ I spluttered. ‘Finn.’

  My throat felt raw and my voice was hoarse.

  ‘He’s all right, he’s all right. He wouldn’t have been, without you, but he’s all right. Rob got him breathing again – he still needs warming up, but he’s OK. He’s going to be fine.’

  I looked around at the strange green and white room. The sharp, sweet scent of disinfectant hung in the air. It was not exactly unpleasant, but like the stiff, smooth sheets of the bed I was lying in, it felt unfamiliar, strange.

  ‘Where are we?’

  ‘Abiemore. At the hospital.’ Dad bent over the bed and gently tucked my hair behind my ear, just as Mum used to do when I was little and she’d read me a story and I was about to fall asleep.

  His eyes were red. ‘I could have lost you. Effie, I could have lost you. I’m sorry I haven’t been . . . I haven’t been . . . there. For you. I’m so sorry, Eff—’ His voice cracked and he looked away from me, his eyes filling with tears.

  ‘It’s OK, Dad, it’s OK.’ I tried to reach out to him but found that my arm was too heavy.

  Dad took my hand and laid it down at my side, holding it carefully. He didn’t let go. ‘Things will be different, I promise,’ he continued. ‘I’ve been expecting too much of you. I’ve spoken to Kathleen and Rob, and we’re all agreed: things will be better now, I promise. For all of us. You, me and Tommi.’

  ‘Rosemary Tanner,’ I said in a whisper, although I already knew the answer.

  Dad gave a tiny shake of his head in answer.

  ‘Dad, I have to tell you something—’ I started to say, but Dad cut me off.

  ‘It’s OK,’ he said. ‘Rosemary had not been very well. In her head. You two did everything you could. You did. We are so proud of you – of what you did to try and save her.’

  ‘But . . . but it’s more than that, Dad. We found out stuff about Mum. And the loch. There was something in the water,’ I said in alarm, remembering. ‘It wasn’t just us – the monsters . . .’

  ‘Shush, shush now,’ Dad said. ‘Don’t go upsetting yourself, my love.’

  ‘But Dad – but Dad . . .’ I said desperately, wanting to be heard.

  At that point a nurse came in and Dad spoke to her and she came over to my bed. ‘Easy – easy there.’ She stroked my arm and said in a soothing voice, ‘Deep breaths now, Effie – that’s it, in and out. Try not to speak, concentrate on your breathing.’

  She rang for a doctor, who checked me over, and then, when they both seemed satisfied, I was left alone with Dad again.

  ‘Would you like to see Finn?’ he asked me before I could say any more.

  ‘Can I?’ I said excitedly.

  ‘As long as you take it easy and stay calm,’ he said. ‘There’s a wheelchair here we can use.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ll need it,’ I said, but I couldn’t walk properly; it was like my legs were made of rubber and had forgotten that they belonged to me, so Dad lifted me into the wheelchair and pushed me all the way to Finn’s room.

  ‘Effie!’ Kathleen and Rob held me close. ‘Thank you, dear girl. Thank you for saving him,’ Kathleen whispered into my ear.

  ‘Is he going to be OK?’ I said. He wasn’t awake and he lay very, very still.

  ‘The doctors say he’s going to be just fine,’ Rob said. ‘He woke up just a little while ago. He was asking for you.’

  ‘Can I touch him?’ I asked.

  ‘Of course, love,’ Kathleen said, and Dad wheeled my chair over so I could reach up for his hand.

  It felt warm, full of life, and I squeezed it.

  I was sure I felt a tiny squeeze back, but he was still sleeping, so I must have imagined it.

  Chapter Fifty-four

  We stayed in hospital for a few more days. ‘Just to be on the safe side.’ My doctor had straight brown hair that she pushed behind her ears and a smile that made me think of Mum.

  Dad and Tommi came in to see me every day. As did Kathleen and Rob. They would all come together.

  ‘She misses you,’ Dad said as Tommi hugged me tightly. He had to tell her to ‘Be gentle with Effie – she’s still mending, you know.’

  I did feel like I was mending. Almost as if bits and pieces of me were being put in their right places again, and day by day I was beginning to feel whole.

  Finn and I hung out in each other’s rooms so much that in the end the nurses relented and put us in one together; then they no longer had to keep chasing one of us out.

  We spoke about our memories of what had happened. Finn’s are much patchier than mine. He barely remembers anything after trying to dive in after Rosemary Tanner’s head had disappeared under the water.

  We also talked about discovering the diary, what we had found out about Mum and how we were going to tell our families . . . It was a strange time, and I often started crying without realizing it. It was as if something had left me – a weight and a feeling, something like a memory, all mixed up together. I felt very raw, very fragile, and when I remembered what we had discovered, that Mum had died by the loch that day, I thought I might crumple in on myself, collapse.

  I opened my mouth to speak the words, but each time I found I couldn’t, that the words were getting stuck in my throat; I couldn’t force them out, however hard I tried.

  It was easier to talk about the monster.

  ‘Did you feel anything else in the water with us?’ I asked Finn. ‘Did you see anything else?’

  But I was the only one who’d felt the monster, and I told him all about it. The way it had dived down; the size of it. The feeling as it gently nudged me, pushing me towards the shore when I was sinking. We wondered how that could be and why it had helped us.

  And then we had a visit from Old Bill.

  He looked too big to fit into the small plastic hospital chairs, and had to scrunch up his body in order to sit down.

  ‘I didn’t want to come when your folks were here,’ he said, and he took off his hat but then didn’t know where to put it; he ended up balancing it awkwardly on his knee.

  ‘How are you both?’ he said, but I noticed that he didn’t look us in the eye when he spoke. He was gazing intently at the floor.

  ‘The doctor said we can come home soon,’ I said.

  ‘I’ve got a couple more tests,’ Finn added.

  ‘Good, good,’ Old Bill said, although I don’t think he had heard what we said.

  He started to say something, but then shook his head, as though disagreeing with someone.

  ‘I’ve come to tell you something. I thought you had the right to know first.’

  We looked at him expectantly.

  ‘We found something. In Rosemary’s cottage.’

  Old Bill paused and suddenly rubbed one eye. I noticed how tired he looked. His shoulders sagged as if he were carrying something – a weight, a secret, something we could not see.

  ‘I’ve just come from there. It explains a lot and I think you deserve to know the truth. They’re talking about burying it, burning it, pretending it doesn’t exist, and so what I’m about to
tell you – there may no longer be any evidence of it. And I don’t think the others will support you.’

  ‘Rosemary Tanner’s diary?’ I managed to say.

  ‘You know about that?’ Old Bill swallowed hard.

  ‘We found it. Just before we saw her in the loch.’

  ‘Did you read it?’

  ‘Only some of it,’ Finn said. ‘The part about Effie’s mum. We know what happened. Well, of course we don’t really. We don’t understand how she disappeared – after Rosemary Tanner pushed her.’

  The air was very still, as though time itself were hanging onto the last second by the thread of a spider’s web.

  ‘I’m very sorry,’ Old Bill said. ‘I had no idea that she was involved.’

  ‘What I don’t understand,’ I said, my voice sounding stronger than I felt, ‘is why she did it. You knew something was wrong, didn’t you? I heard you talking on the phone. It was to Rosemary Tanner, wasn’t it?’

  ‘I knew that Rosemary was not very well. She was going over the same things in her head, over and over. I thought it was just in her head. It started so long ago: when you were born, just after Finn, Rosemary thought that the prophecy was coming true.’

  ‘But you said twins,’ Finn said.

  ‘Well, that’s how I saw it, and many others did too, but when the pair of you were born – on the same day, a girl after a boy – Rosemary thought the legend was coming true. She said you were as close as twins could be. You’ve always been inseparable, even when you were bairns. Never wanted to be parted, so I heard. Rosemary saw how attached you were.’

  I thought, a little grimly, of the conversation I’d overheard the night we went to Finn’s house about how I’d behaved when I was younger.

  ‘So she thought you, Effie, would awaken the monsters. She had monsters in her head, did Rosemary. She didn’t think she was making it up. She was the one, you see – she was the one who had made the curse in the first place. It all started with her.’

  ‘She was the twin from the story?’