‘So it comes down to what happened to me.’ Felix waited while she sorted through her jumbled feelings. ‘I know you’re right,’ she said. ‘Part of me blames him, I hate what he did. He chased me from the house, you know that? But there was something about him – he switched into a different mindset, like Elliott did last year. Like a cornered animal just trying to save his skin. He knew there was something dangerous about the barrow when Lara disappeared. Then he chased me onto the top.’ She thought about Lara’s family, the agony of not knowing where she was over the years. That could have been Nick, Max, Yana… ‘You’re right. I’ll talk to the police.’
Felix nodded. ‘How’s Nick?’
She could feel the smile stretching her cheeks. ‘Really good. I think we know what we want now. We’re making a fresh start – together. We’re looking around for an area where we can both work and we won’t be too far from my parents and my sister. They are really important to Max as well as me.’
‘I’m glad to hear it.’ He stood up. ‘I’m sorry to break up the party but I have to get back to Devon.’
She stood, hugged him again, wincing a little. ‘I’m still sore.’
‘Did you give any more thought to EMDR treatment for your flashbacks?’
She laughed. ‘You are kidding, aren’t you? I’m seeing a therapist once a week, have EMDR twice a week and I’m on three months’ official sick leave. I dream about the wolf trap every night at the moment.’ Which was true, but they weren’t always nightmares, which frightened her more. There was a moment in some of her dreams when she let go, let the cold and the water take her. ‘Oh, and antidepressants.’
‘Good for you. Is it helping?’
Even though she was tired all the time, still ached all over and was having bad dreams, every day brought Max and Nick and Yana and a thousand tiny happy moments. ‘I’ll be OK.’
‘How about the career plans?’
She smiled as she followed him into the corridor. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for a career in forensics, to be honest. But it did – does – fascinate me. I’m just not sure when I’ll be ready to sit with a dead body again.’ Sage rubbed her sore collarbone gently, relieving the ache of knitting bones.
Felix nodded. ‘Good luck with Nick. I’m sure you’ll sort it out.’
‘I think I will.’ She watched him walk down the stairs and stood on the landing, looking through the large windows at the inner courtyard of her building. She let the sun warm her while she did a mental check of her emotional state as she’d been taught by her therapist. ‘Nine out of ten,’ she said to herself, then smiled. Nick was walking through the courtyard with Max on his shoulders, stopping to look at things as her baby pointed with starfish hands. ‘Ten.’
Acknowledgements
Firstly, I would like to thank Miranda Jewess and Jo Harwood at Titan, who helped me develop this book from a few simple ideas. Then Cath Trechman worked hard to bring it to life, getting it ready and doing the characters justice. She has taught me so much about constructing a crime story, all with kindness and humour.
I would also like to thank Jane Willis, my agent, who made the strange world of publishing seem easier. She has been a wonderful support throughout.
Lastly, my large and noisy family have helped me, especially my son Carey. He is always willing to read and challenge my stories, which just makes them grow. I am also grateful to my husband Russell for his patience going around yet another archive or museum, often for a single line of dialogue in a book. The life of a writer is a strange one, and plot ideas have often been thrashed out over long journeys and walks.
On that note, I have tried to be as accurate as I can with the attitudes and events of the past, but sometimes imagination has needed to fill in the gaps.
About the Author
Rebecca Alexander is a psychologist and writer. Rebecca fell in love with all things sorcerous, magical and witchy as a teenager and has enjoyed reading and writing fantasy ever since. She wrote her first book aged nineteen, and since then has been runner-up in the Mslexia novel writing competition and the Yeovil Literary Prize 2012. She is the author of the Jackdaw Hammond series of supernatural crime novels published by Del Rey, The Secrets of Life and Death (2013), The Secrets of Blood and Bone (2014) and The Secrets of Time and Fate (2016). She lives in Devon.
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A Shroud of Leaves Page 33