The anger was slowly dissolving inside Lily. Everything had changed in the past few weeks and she didn’t know if it was for the better. A year ago, she’d started playing piano at the Wheaton with so many expectations. In that time she’d dated two wealthy men and met Jake. Rick and Rex weren’t anything like she’d dreamed. Jake was Jake: proud, stubborn, and so very good to her and Gram. She’d ached over the loss of something precious and wonderful—her relationship with Jake—and prayed it wasn’t too late to salvage it.
“I thought you didn’t care anymore what I did,” she murmured, longing to explain why she’d accepted Rex’s invitation.
“Believe me, it wasn’t by choice.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“Then why did you …”
“I couldn’t care less who you date,” he lied smoothly. “But you’d given your word about that Texan, and I was determined to see that you kept it.”
“That’s why you followed me tonight?” Her voice was little more than a whisper.
“Right.”
“I see.” She clasped her hands together tightly in her lap. She’d hoped that he’d admit that he cared for her and had been concerned about her welfare. But that was clearly too much to expect in his present frame of mind.
Jake dropped her off in front of Gram’s and drove away as soon as she closed the car door.
Once inside the house she struggled to maintain her composure. Gram was asleep and Lily was grateful for that. She would have had trouble recounting the events of this evening. Nothing had gone right, starting with accepting Rex’s invitation to dinner.
Knowing that any effort to sleep would be useless, Lily wandered into the kitchen and set the kettle on the burner to boil. When it whistled, she poured the boiling water into a mug before adding a tea bag.
A loud knock at the front door surprised her and her heart rocketed to her throat. She didn’t have time to react when Jake burst in.
“We need to talk,” he announced, coming toward her.
Lily couldn’t have moved if her life depended on it.
“Well?” he demanded.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” Lily noticed that his defenses relaxed at the offer.
“Yes.”
She busied herself bringing down another mug from the cupboard and adding a tea bag to the steaming water. The action gave her a moment to compose her thoughts. Her head buzzed with all the things she longed to say. As much as she tried, she couldn’t keep her gaze off the man who filled the doorway, staring at her.
She gestured toward a chair, indicating that Jake should take a seat. She found it bewildering that only minutes before they had been shouting at each other and now they were behaving like polite strangers.
She set the second steaming mug on the tabletop across from her own and sat facing Jake. She gripped her mug and stared down into the black liquid.
The silence grew heavy and Lily was unsure if she should be the first one to wade into it.
But they soon spoke simultaneously.
“Lily—”
“Jake—”
“You first,” Jake said and motioned toward her with his hand.
“No … you go first.”
“All right.” Another lengthy pause followed. “I’m here to apologize.”
“For what?”
“Come on, Lily, don’t play dumb.” He accused.
“I’m not.” Her own temper flared. “Are you apologizing for this afternoon or for what happened this evening?”
Jake raked his fingers through his hair. The kitchen suddenly felt small and Jake seemed so large, filling every corner. Despite everything, she longed to feel his arms around her again, comforting and gentle.
“I see,” Jake said finally. “I guess I do owe you an apology for both.” His finger fiddled with the handle of the mug. As yet he hadn’t tasted the tea, but then neither had Lily.
“I owe you one myself. I don’t know what possessed me to go out with Rex. I shouldn’t have gone. I don’t know why I did.” Her voice was husky. “That’s not exactly true. I went with him because I wanted to get back at you for this afternoon.”
“I didn’t mean what I said.” A telltale muscle twitched along his jaw.
Lily raised her eyes to meet Jake’s, unsure that she had understood him correctly.
“Those things I said on the boat were spoken in desperation.”
“But why?”
“Come on, Lily, surely you’ve figured it out by now.” He pushed back the chair and stood, taking his tea with him. He marched to the sink and then turned back to her, leaning against the counter as he took a sip from his mug.
“You mean because we were kissing again?”
“Bingo.”
“But I like kissing you.”
“That’s the problem, kid.”
Lily winced at the use of the childish term. “All right, well we don’t ever have to touch each other again.”
It wasn’t what Jake wanted, but for his peace of mind and for the sake of a treasured relationship, he had little choice but to agree. “That would be best.”
“The kissing was just the result of my own curiosity.”
“So you said.”
Lily’s heart was hammering in her throat. She couldn’t admit how much she’d come to enjoy Jake’s touch, and the thought of them never kissing again filled her with regret. She took a sip of her tea, which had grown lukewarm.
Jake followed suit. There didn’t seem to be anything more to say, but he wasn’t ready to leave, so he searched for an excuse to linger. “You were right about me being unreasonable this evening.”
She released a short, audible breath that told of her own remorse. “Going out with Rex and flaunting it in your face like that was childish of me.”
“So you knew I was waiting tonight.”
“No.” Her stare found his. She’d hoped, of course, but she hadn’t guessed that he’d be there after their confrontation on the sailboat. “My feelings were hurt and I didn’t think you’d care one way or the other if I saw Rex—especially after today—so I agreed to dinner. I regretted it from the minute we left the hotel.”
“You seemed to be enjoying your meal.” His jaw clenched at the memory of Lily in that fancy French restaurant.
Lily swallowed at the lump of pride that constricted her throat. She’d come this far. “That was an act for your benefit. It’s stupid, I know, but at the time it made sense.”
A crooked grin lifted one corner of his mouth. “You’re lucky that me making a scene in that restaurant didn’t make sense.”
“I guess I am.” She returned his smile, wondering if there would ever be a time when his expressive eyes wouldn’t affect her.
Jake glanced at his watch. “I suppose I should think about heading home.” A few more nights like this one and he’d have trouble paying his bills.
“It is late.” Lily couldn’t disagree with that, but she didn’t want him to leave. She never did.
He took one last swallow of the tea and placed the mug in the sink. “I’m glad we were able to resolve our differences.”
“We were both wrong.”
“Are you working tomorrow?” He already knew she wasn’t, but asking delayed his departure.
“No.”
“How about an afternoon on the boat?” It was the least he could do.
Instantly, her dark eyes brightened. Lily loved the Lucky Lady, and the thought of spending a carefree afternoon with Jake was an opportunity she wouldn’t refuse. “You’re sure?”
No, he wasn’t. Spending the day beside her without being able to touch her would be pure torture for him. But he knew it would make her happy.
“Jake?”
“I invited you, didn’t I?”
“Then I’d love to.”
“It’s a date then. Meet me around noon?”
“I’ll be there.” She followed him through the living room to the front door.
“Jake.”
&n
bsp; He turned, his brow knit with clouds over the sailing invitation. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for coming back. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if you hadn’t.”
His body relaxed. “Me, either.” With that he was gone.
* * *
The following morning, Lily was humming as she worked around the kitchen. She had a lemon meringue pie baking in the oven and was assembling some pastrami sandwiches when Gram returned from the garden nursery. The older woman carted in a full tray of potted plants.
At Lily’s dubious look, Gram explained, “They were on sale.”
Continuing to pack the sandwiches, Lily commented, “But aren’t you the one who insists that we don’t save money by spending money?”
“Good grief, no.”
“Are you sure?” Lily tried unsuccessfully to hide a smile.
“Of course I’m sure. I may be seventy-four, but my mind is still good. I’m the one who says that when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.”
Lily burst out laughing. “I love you, Gram. I don’t think I let you know that nearly often enough.”
“Sure you do, girl.”
Lily hugged her grandmother. Gram might be a bit eccentric, but she had given Lily a good life, taking her in and raising her in a home full of love. “I’ve got some news for you.”
“What?” Gram leafed through the mail, tossing the junk mail without a second glance. The rest she stuffed into an overflowing basket on the kitchen counter.
“I’m giving the Wheaton my two-week notice.”
Gram looked doubtful. “Now why would you do that?”
“I don’t like it there. This morning I saw a job posting for a music director at a day-care center. I already called and booked an interview.”
“And you’d enjoy that?” Gram regarded her skeptically.
“I’m sure I would. You know how much I like children.”
“That you do. You’re as natural with them as you are with us old folks.”
Opening the refrigerator, Lily scoured its contents, taking out two red apples.
“You going somewhere?”
“Jake and I are taking out the Lucky Lady.”
Gram sank into a kitchen chair and propped her feet up on the one across from it. “Rick phoned last night. I forgot to tell you.”
“What did he want?”
“Just to remind you that he was taking you to dinner tonight.”
Lily bit into her bottom lip. “Darn.” She’d forgotten about that. “Did he say what time he’d be by?”
“Seven. He didn’t seem too happy when I told him you were going out with that fellow from Texas.”
Hands on her hips, Lily swiveled around. She’d phoned Gram during her break to explain why she’d be late. “You told him?”
“Had to, girl. He mentioned swinging by the hotel to see you.”
“Great,” Lily grumbled. On second thought, it was probably just as well. Rick seemed to want to get too serious too quickly, but he was nice and deserved someone who would appreciate him.
“How much do you like this Rick fellow?” Gram asked.
“He’s all right.”
“Seems to be well off.”
“He’s got money, if that’s what you mean.”
“That’s what you’ve been wanting.”
The words had a brittle edge to them. Lily opened her mouth to argue that Gram made her sound calculating and shallow, but she found she had no grounds. That was exactly the way she’d been in the past. Her ambition to marry rich had made her so narrow-minded that it was little wonder she’d been disappointed with both Rick and Rex.
“I’m not so sure anymore,” Lily murmured, tucking the lunch supplies into the bottom of a wicker basket. “I’ve been doing some thinking lately and I feel that there are certain things in life more valuable than a fat bank account.”
“Oh?” Gram gave her a look of mock surprise.
“Money’s nice, but it isn’t everything.”
“The next time house taxes are due, I’ll tell that to the county clerk.”
“We’ve always managed in the past; we’ll do so again.”
Gram mumbled something under her breath, but she was smiling and Lily wondered what her game was.
“So you’re going to spend the day with Jake. I take it you two have resolved your differences.”
“We’re working on it,” Lily hedged. They’d taken one step forward, but at the moment it seemed a small one. There was so much she wanted to share with Jake and feared she couldn’t. Her job at the Wheaton was coming to an end, but she wouldn’t tell Jake until she had another one to replace it. Otherwise he might worry. He cared for Gram and her. Lily only wished he cared a little bit more.
Chapter Nine
Jake placed the jib on the bow of the Lucky Lady. He was nervous about this excursion with Lily and regretted having suggested it. However, he realized that Lily loved being on the water and that the invitation to sail would go a long way toward repairing their friendship.
Strolling down the long dock that led to Jake’s boat, Lily saw him working on the bow. She paused to admire him. Her heart fluttered at the sight of this lean, brawny figure. He was all man, rugged and so completely different from Rick that it was difficult to picture them as friends. Jake possessed an indomitable spirit and a fierce pride. Of the two men, Rick was the more urbane and sophisticated, but there was a purity of character in Jake. He was true to himself and to his beliefs. Rick was too easily influenced by those around him. He considered it important to flow with the tide. Jake was the type of man who moved the tide.
“Morning,” she called, standing on the pier and waving at him.
“Good morning.” Jake straightened and Lily noted he wasn’t smiling. Wasn’t he pleased to be sailing today? Was he was doing this for her?
Hoping to turn things around, she held up the picnic basket enthusiastically. “I packed us a lunch.”
“Good thinking.” He climbed down from the bow. “Are you ready to cast off?”
“Aye, aye, Captain.” She saluted and handed him the basket before climbing aboard. While he fiddled with the ropes, Lily took off her light summer jacket. She’d worn jeans and a sleeveless top, hoping to catch a bit of a tan on her arms. She didn’t hold out much hope for this day, but desperately yearned to smooth over the rough edges of their relationship. Jake had been such a good friend. There were things in her life that only Jake knew. She could tell him anything without fear of being criticized or harshly judged. Anyone else would have called her hard-hearted and callous to set her sights on a wealthy man. Not Jake. He’d even gone so far as to introduce her to Rick and try to help her fulfill her ambitions. And she had helped him. Jake longed to be a successful author. He could do it, too. The New Yorker wouldn’t buy a short story from someone without talent.
“We’re going to have nice weather,” Jake said, looking to the blue sky.
“Yes, we are.” They were tiptoeing around each other, Lily realized, each afraid of the other’s response. “Can I raise the sails again?”
“If you want.” He kept his sights straight ahead, manning the helm.
Feeling self-conscious and a little unsteady on her feet, Lily climbed to the bow and prepared to raise the sails. She waited until they were clear of the waterway that led from the marina to the deep, greenish waters of San Francisco Bay before hoisting the sails and tying them off. The boat instantly keeled and sliced through the rolling waves.
Holding on to the mast, Lily threw back her head and raised her closed eyes to the warm rays of the summer sun. A sense of exhilaration filled her. Her unbound hair blew behind her head like a flag waving in the breeze. She loved this. Her skin tingled with the force of the wind and the spray of saltwater.
“This is great,” she called down to Jake a moment later. Finding a comfortable spot, she sat and wrapped her arms around her bent knees. She felt marvelous—better than she had in weeks; giddy with happiness. She looked at
Jake and their eyes met. Lily’s cheeks grew warm as he studied her. His eyes became serious and seemed to linger on her mouth. She smiled at him. He responded with a short, almost involuntary, grin.
Jake found himself incapable of looking away. Lily was so lovely that the picture of her at this moment, her dark hair wind tossed and free, would be forever seared in his mind. He yearned to go to her, kneel at her feet, and promise her the world.
He felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. The emotion he felt for her went far beyond friendship. He was in love.
All this time he’d been in love with her and hadn’t been able to admit it—not even to himself. A frown drove deep grooves in his brow. What was he supposed to do now? He’d always cared for her. Recognizing his feelings couldn’t make a difference. There were things that Lily wanted that he could never give her—fancy parties, diamonds, and expensive clothes. From the pittance he earned driving a taxi and writing stories, it was unlikely that he could ever afford those things. He might love her, but he wouldn’t let that love destroy her dreams.
Lily studied Jake and noticed that he was brooding. She couldn’t recall a time when he’d been more withdrawn.
Concerned, she cupped her hands around her mouth and called out, “Are you hungry?”
Jake stared out across the water before answering. “I could eat something.” Actually, he was ravenous, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for Lily to join him on deck. Now that he’d acknowledged his feelings, it would be ten times more difficult to keep her out of his arms.
Lily hadn’t eaten since early morning. “I’m starving.” Watching her step, she worked her way toward the opposite end of the sailboat.
Jake watched her as she approached. The sun glittered through her hair, giving it an almost heavenly shine. Her lips were pink and so inviting that the muscles in his abdomen tightened. Each step she took emphasized the lovely lines of her neck and shoulders and the curve of her breasts … Jake’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt.
This type of thinking wouldn’t do either of them any good. He could fantasize until doomsday about making love to Lily and it wouldn’t change anything. She was going to marry some rich man and Jake was going to let her.
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