by Sarina Dorie
“Um,” I said.
“So nice to meet you Sumiko-sama.” She added a polite honorific after my name to denote a superior rank. “I’m Chinatsu.” Her face was round like the moon.
Another girl elbowed her. “Don’t be so friendly or you’ll scare her away.”
“Shush, I didn’t ask you.”
“You behave. Nipa is here.”
These girls were my age but the behaved like children. Shiromainu shook with silent laughter. I wasn’t used to so much attention and hugging. I mumbled a polite greeting.
“I’m Opere,” the tallest girl said. She bowed and then I bowed. She bowed again. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to bow again, but I did. She bowed a third time. I stopped, but she kept bowing. I counted six bows in total. No one had ever bowed to me so many times.
The other girls laughed. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought her excessively formal.
“I’m Hekketek,” a pretty girl said. She was the smallest of them, though still taller than I was.
“Your name, it’s from the song, ne?” I asked. It was a pretty girl’s name and it fit her. I felt sad remembering how much Shipo had liked the song about the girl named Hekketek.
“Yes, you know the song in your tribe?” Hekketek pushed another girl forward. “This is my cousin, Pananpne-chan. Do you know the Pananpne song too?”
The girl kept her eyes on her feet. “My friends call me Pana.”
I nodded. She looked exactly as I had imagined a girl named Pananpne would look like with her long black hair as smooth and silky as a waterfall. Her eyes were round like a tanuki’s and her cheekbones high. She was pretty like Shipo and she had the same smile. I knew I would like her and she would be my new best friend if I let her. Still, I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted a new best friend. If she died, I would have to stuff my mourning deep inside me. Soon that well of grief would be too full to contain another person.
Everyone was silent as if waiting for me to say something.
“I had a friend named Pananpne once, but she died,” I said.
Everyone I knew died. If it wasn’t from sickness, it was from the cold and if it wasn’t from the cold it was from starvation. If it wasn’t from starvation it was from gaijin. All the more reason to convince Shiromainu to accept Faith so she wouldn’t die too.
The girls’ eyes went wide. I realized my rudeness by their reaction. They probably thought I meant to imply this Pananpne would die too. I could have kicked myself for that.
“I’m sorry. I mean… .” I didn’t know how to correct what I’d said. I looked to Shiromainu.
Shiromainu placed a hand on my shoulder. “Sumiko-san has seen many difficult things in her life. Not every village has been so well-hidden from the gaijin.”
I didn’t want to think about the attack on my old village or the time I’d seen the gaijin in the clearing who had killed those grandmothers and children. I shivered.
“You are cold, Sumiko-sama?” Pana asked.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
It was cold, but not anymore than it was in my village, and my new attush and the fur vest that covered it were better than my old ones. Pana untied her manto and draped it over my shoulders.
“Ei! You are too kind. Please don’t let me impose.” I tried to politely protest, but she tied the manto closed anyway. I looked to Shiromainu for the right thing to do and say, but he simply smiled.
“It isn’t an imposition. I’ll fetch my other one.” Pana ran off.
Surely she had to be lying. No one owned two mantos. I couldn’t tell if she was extremely generous to give me her cloak, or just wanted to get away from me after my social blunder with her name.
“Do you wish to join them for a time?” Shiromainu asked.
I looked to the girls, skeptical they would want me to play with them. This had to be a tanuki trick.
“Please, say yes!” Opere begged. She was practically jumping up and down.
“We can teach you Tanukijin games!” Chinatsu slipped an arm around my waist and hugged me to her side.
I bowed to Shiromainu the best I could squeezed close to Chinatsu. I wanted to play with other girls my age so badly I could barely contain my own excitement. At the same time, it was hard to imagine anyone my age being nice for no reason at all. Surely they wanted something from me.
I did my best to keep up with formalities and say what I knew was expected. “I would only like to join the others if my absence would not displease Nipa.”
He waved me off. “Enjoy yourself for as long as you like. When you’re finished, you may find me in the great hall.”
It seemed too good to be true. I was afraid the girls would show me their true faces after Shiromainu left, but nothing changed. The girls were just as polite and introduced me to other children in the courtyard. Being the same age as me and lower than my station as wife to their leader, no one asked me impertinent questions like the women in the onsen.
“How long are you allowed to play?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” Chinatsu asked.
“When must you do your chores?”
They looked to each other in confusion. “We already did them two days ago,” Hekketek said.
“Well, later I’m to help with dinner,” Chinatsu admitted.
“I should help with dinner too, but no one will notice if I sneak off, ne?” said Opere with a giggle.
That was all the chores they did? Surely this had to be a fib. Didn’t they have to work all day to collect food or keep the fire going? Was life here that easy while the Chiramantepjin suffered each day with hardship? My people starved, couldn’t keep warm and were constantly hiding from the gaijin. I had to prove to Shiromainu Faith was not only safe, but she was an asset to our village. My family needed to be part of this tribe. Faith and Michi needed to be here where they were free of harm.
Then again, perhaps it was a ploy to make themselves look better than they were. No, they had no reason to fluff themselves up like a chiramantep in mating season. It struck me with clarity then; if anyone should have been puffing herself up to make her tribe look better, it was me. My tribe, my brother, and Faith needed me not just to represent them. I had to make the Tanukijin see all of us as trustworthy and valuable. I had to show them they needed my brother and our tribe. I just didn’t know how.
Pana joined us at the marble game again. She wore another green and purple cloak, this one slightly smaller, but it still fit her. I wanted to have fun and enjoy myself, but it was hard to know how to anymore. I could only think of my duties. I worried about Faith having to care for Michi alone without me. I missed my little niece. I wanted Faith to hug me. Would my family always have enough to eat if they were permitted to join the Tanukijin? All the children were rounder than those in the Chiramantepjin tribe.
“What did you have for breakfast?” I asked.
Soup and fish just like me. Surely their portions hadn’t been as generous as mine, I imagined. When it was time for lunch, the girls took me with them into the great hall for a snack of soup from the giant earthen pot resting on the coals. People came and went, taking food as they pleased.
A group of warriors sat at one low table near the door, sipping from their own bowls. The eyes of the handsomest boy narrowed as I stepped into the great hall with my friends. It was Petennouk, the boy who’d barged in on the grandmothers the day before. I recognized his insolent tone and topknot from the day before.
“She’s not much to look at,” he said. “I don’t know what Nipa was thinking, accepting such a pitiful wife, even if it’s only for a fortnight with tsuma no koukan. At least with a real wife, one might look forward to the day she grows chichis and hips.”
Opere slipped up to me and blocked the boys from view. Pana and Chinatsu looped their arms through mine. Their smiles were no longer easy. Their postures became rigid. They shielded me from Petennouk’s line of vision.
A few boys joined in the
laughter, though about half looked away in embarrassment. The girls were polite enough to pretend not to have heard. I understood why. This was Shiromainu Nipa’s relative. To treat him as rudely as he treated us would be an insult to the tribe’s leader. We served ourselves and sat closer to the dais at the front of the room and away from the warriors.
Petennouk said more loudly, “Look, she doesn’t even have tattoos. What a blessing he didn’t make me bed her after all.”
“Hush, Petennouk-san. She will tell Nipa of your rudeness.”
“Yes, crying to Nipa like a baby.” He mimicked a baby’s crying, “Ay-ay-ay!”
I ground my teeth. Running off to tattle on him would be a childish thing to do, but more than that it would reflect poorly on myself that I allowed such pettiness to get to me. Grandmother Ami always told the children that no one could hurt them with words unless they let those words sink inside them and take root. Better to grow strong from taunts than to give in to them.
Easier said than done.
“Shall we go out to the courtyard again?” Opere asked.
“Yes, more games!” said Hekketek.
Petennouk swaggered past us and served himself another bowl of soup. Two helpings—I could hardly believe it! People here had seconds while my family had half portions at home. I wondered if Faith was giving up her stew again so Michi could have more.
Petennouk’s superior tone roused me from my worries. “It must be difficult enough for the old grandfather to get his chin-chin to rise up in a tatsu at his age, but just look at her? Her face is like a chiramantep’s bottom.”
It was bad enough he had to make fun of me—I was a stranger and he was being rude—but the idea he should try to make his leader look like less in his friends’ eyes was too much. Worse yet, no one tried very hard to stop him. This would never be allowed in the Chiramantepjin tribe.
The girls exchanged uncomfortable glances. I drained my soup and stood. The other girls followed my suit and finished their lunch. Pana took our bowls and ran off with them. We had to walk past the boys on the way out. Petennouk shot out a leg to trip me. I wasn’t so stupid to fall for that one—I did have an older brother who’d played plenty of pranks of me when I was younger. I’d expected something along those lines.
Instead of tripping, I dropped down, grinding a knee into his ankle. He howled in pain and yanked his foot back. His friends laughed.
It was difficult to keep my face neutral. “Sumimasen!” I said in my best imitation of an apology. “Pardon me, I didn’t see your foot there.”
I ducked my head and scurried back and bowed repeatedly as though I were truly apologetic. From the way he clenched his fists, it wasn’t a bad idea to put distance between us. I tried to look innocent, so if he did hit me the fault would be all his own.
“Stupid child! You’re an insolent gaijin lover!” he spat at me.
He didn’t know the half of it. I turned away and rolled my eyes.
Two of the girls exchanged nervous giggles. Chinatsu linked her arm through mine and tugged me outside. Instead of going to the children’s courtyard, they took me to the riverbank where other youth practiced fighting with sticks.
The bank was covered in packed snow, melting away where it met the water. Little fauna grew down here on the muddy stretch of land between the village and the rocky bank, or if it did, it was covered under snow.
From our view, the cliff palace loomed overhead. The boxy stone buildings were shaded by red reeds and clusters of yellow flowers that grew along the warm stone of the cliffs. Fingers of steam rose from the onsens and the warmest rooms, causing a barrier of mist that helped hide the palace from the mesa above. I doubted any starship above would be able to spot the village.
If only my family could live in such a safe place.
I followed my friends farther down the riverbank. It was sprinkling and the wind rushed against me and tossed my loose hair into my face, but I didn’t care. Anything was better than chores.
“You should be careful around Petennouk-san,” Pana said. She was so pretty no one would ever say her face looked like an animal’s bottom. “He won’t tolerate being made into a joke.”
I snorted. “Then maybe he should learn some manners, ne?”
“He will find a way to get back at you, Nipa’s wife or not,” Hekketek warned. She lifted Pana’s fur cloak. Under the manto were yellow-green bruises on her arm above her tattoos.
“Iya! What’s that from?” I asked.
“Petennouk brings gifts to pretty girls who please him. If a girl refuses him, he finds a way to make her wish she hadn’t. During practice he is good at causing accidents.” Pana’s eyes narrowed and she looked me full in the face, probably to see if I comprehended her meaning.
He wasn’t that good at accidents if I’d seen through him before he’d tripped me, but I didn’t contradict her.
I stared out at the deep expanse of the river. It rushed by with a burble, sounding like a strange song a water kamuy might make. Groups of youth gathered, fighting with sticks. The clickity-clatter filled my ears like music.
In my village, people wouldn’t tolerate any man coercing girls into lying with him. My nipa, my brother, would hammer such a chikkan into the ground. Even if Taishi had the misfortune of having a family member who behaved that way, I couldn’t see him ignoring it. I couldn’t see our elders doing so either.
“Does no one do anything to stop him?” I asked.
“How can we tell the council when he is one of the members?” Hekketek said.
He looked too young to be on the council. Then again, he was about Faith’s age, probably my brother’s age when he’d become a nipa, and many thought Taishi was still too young to be a leader.
Opere shifted uncomfortably. “Petennouk-san is a different person around the elders. He’s always bringing them little gifts and behaves with better manners. Those he can’t convince, he’s scared into silence. Like my grandma.”
Pana hugged her. “Already people in our village are taking sides, deciding whether they will leave or fight. He will be our tribe’s undoing. He will divide us.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Pana lowered her voice even more. “The day will come when our elders must decide who is to become the new leader. There will be no stopping Petennouk-san if he comes into power.”
“Nipa allows this?” Anger fumed inside me.
“He doesn’t know. He’s blind in this matter. Some whisper his judgement is … impaired in other matters as well.” Pana’s gaze flickered to my wrists and their lack of marking and then away.
I was making them uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have the patience for etiquette. The wind gusted and I pushed my hair out of my face. “And no one goes to Nipa to complain?” After all his hard work, he wouldn’t want anyone to destroy the peace and unity he had worked so hard to create.
Hekketek spoke slowly. “Petennouk-san is Nipa’s relative. Consider how it would shame him, ne?”
I gleaned the warning from her words. It would shame him if I told him. This tribe was so different from my own.
Back home, the old women scolded me every time I didn’t work fast enough, hard enough, or when I snuck off to gather herbs for Faith’s paints instead of for food. They said I shamed my brother with my laziness and my lack of diligence. What would Taishi say if they told him of my selfishness? Better I corrected my behavior than I forced them to tell him and cause him to lose face. It had been the same when Taishi and I had been children in the Chiramantep village. We’d been raised by the entire village and were expected to behave because of how it made our mother look bad.
Those were for little things. I could hardly imagine the true shame Taishi would feel if I behaved as Shiromainu’s grandnephew did. It was bad enough I was chikkan and different. I needed to keep that hidden from my tribe and brother, so that he would never have need to punish me. Now I had to keep this secret from Shiromainu
as well.
This village wasn’t perfect. Shiromainu was old. He wouldn’t be leader long. With all I had learned about Petennouk, I wondered if my brother would want to live under the rule of such a tyrant someday. What would Taishi do in my situation? I suspected he would fight. He wouldn’t allow such injustice to go unpunished. Nor would my mother.
My task here was so much larger than simply convincing Nipa to allow my village to join. It needed to be safe for Faith. I hated to imagine how a man like him would lust for such a pretty woman, gaijin or not.
“Shall we practice fighting before the boys come back? We might be able to get an hour in today if we are lucky,” Opere said.
I practiced stick fighting for a while. It was hard to focus with the beauty of the river behind my opponent. Raindrops plopped on the surface, causing speckles in the current. The other girls showed me moves Tomomi Sensei had taught them, the woman who had exchanged herself for me and was now my brother’s temporary wife.
“Tomomi Sensei is the best of the teachers. I wish she were here to teach you,” Pana said.
No one mentioned her ugly face, so I didn’t either. “She’s my brother’s temporary wife,” I said.
“What an honor for your brother to gain such a warrior!” Hekketek said.
The girls nodded. I wanted to laugh, but they weren’t, so I said nothing. Their reverence told me to give her respect.
I showed the girls locks and holds my brother had taught me. I would have gladly continued, but eventually an old woman waddled down the path to the bank and bade me go with her. I thought she meant to take me to Shiromainu, but instead she led me to another room where a group of grandmothers sat.
Textiles made from woven plant fibers covered the walls. Each weaving was covered with different geometric patterns that represented water, wind or fire. Light filtered in from the window, the hide curtains thrown back. Elderly women sat in a circle, their conversation dying away as I entered the room.
The entire room smelled of rotting teeth and fish breath.