by Raathi Chota
“Axel came back for the funeral, along with our uncle. He didn’t even cry, but I did because through everything, Dad tried to be strong for me. Someone had to be the strong one in the family, and it was always him.
“Our uncle wanted the motor shop even though I wanted it because I basically knew everything. He wanted to take my mom to court, but she wasn’t up for that, so he got it. We were left with his will, but the money was gone soon after. No doubt Axel took it.” He reached into his pocket for a cigarette. He gave it to me, and I held it as he took out his matches. I held it up to my lips as he lit a match and flicked it over the cigarette. Tobacco filled our noses as I inhaled then gave it to him. “So I took the bitch’s advice and decided to man up. I touched up my motorcycle, wore my dad’s jackets, smoked, slept around, and most of all didn’t give a flying fuck what people thought about me.
“Because through everything, nobody helped me to cope. Axel was gone, and Mom worked her ass off so I basically could do anything I want. Then Aidan’s mom said we should move here to get away from everything, so we did.”
I figured he was done as silence took over us. I didn’t know what to say because that was a lot to go through on your own. I didn’t want to apologize because I knew he’d scowl.
“Wow, so that’s how Blake Gunner became a bad boy,” I said after a while. I watched as he blew out the smoke and sent me a grin. We sat in silence as we stared at each other. Sadness mixed with secrecy filled his brown eyes, and that somehow made me captivated.
“Hey, you two!” a familiar voice boomed as I tore my gaze away from Blake and saw Coach Harris. My eyes widened as I stood up. “Gunner, you might look cool, but you’re not. No smoking on school grounds!” he shouted, then turned to me. “And you, Willson? I thought better of you than hanging out with a delinquent like him,” he said, then handed me a racket. “Then again, you were in detention for slapping West’s daughter.” He shoved a racket in Blake’s chest.
“That was a good slap,” Blake commented as he dropped the cigarette on the ground.
“No one asked for your input, Gunner. You both get detention for tomorrow afternoon,” Coach said as my jaw dropped. “One for not participating, and two for smoking! Now get your butts on the court before I report you two!”
“Thanks a lot,” I mumbled as we walked toward Carter and Miranda.
“You’re welcome.” Blake smiled as he twirled the racket in his hand.
“We’ll be doing short games now!” Coach yelled.
“Can he get any louder?” Kelly asked.
“Imagine him in bed,” Carter said, which resulted in everyone throwing profanities at him.
***
I didn’t think Coach was serious when he said that Blake and I had detention tomorrow. I sighed at the card that I had to get signed. Dad was going to kill me. I groaned as I dumped the card in my backpack and walked out of the school building. Everyone lingered downstairs as I approached them.
“Please, dude, I don’t want to ride with them. They’re like those clingy couples, and it’s so awkward,” Aidan nagged Benny.
“Hey!” Nick said as he put an arm around Melissa’s shoulder.
“I’m already taking La—”
“Hey, Aidan, look—it’s your friend.” Carter laughed as he pointed across the street. We whipped our heads to see Levi parking his car on the curb. My eyes widened as Miranda stared at me.
“Shit’s about to get real,” she whispered as I sent her a glare.
“I think I’ll walk. Yeah, that’s a good idea. See you guys tomorrow!” I rushed out then ran toward Levi. Being the prick that Levi was, he got out of the car and leaned against it. Once he noticed me, he opened his arms. I ignored him as I went around his vehicle to the passenger seat.
“Aww, sad she doesn’t wanna get in your car?” Levi cooed as I glanced up. It turned out they followed me. They looked at Levi and me. As I dumped my bag in Levi’s car, I noticed Blake squinted his eyes.
“Dude, what you did last night was not cool,” Aidan said.
“Yeah, sorry about that, Aidan,” Levi said.
“How do you know my na—”
“It’s Levi, you idiot!” Miranda cut off Aidan, and his eyes widened.
“I don’t think we’ve officially met. Heard a shitload about you. My name is Blake.” Blake stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Levi. Cool tattoos,” Levi said as he looked at Blake’s arms.
“Nice bird,” Blake said as he looked at the tattoo on Levi’s neck.
“Okay, if we’re done with the introductions, what are you doing here?” Miranda asked as she stared at Levi.
“Just here to get my princess,” Levi said as he sent me a wink.
“Well, no need since I do that already,” Benny muttered. I glanced at Blake, who seemed interested at the looks Levi and Benny gave each other.
“Well, too bad. I’m here now, and I don’t think she wants to drive with a psycho,” Levi stated.
“Levi, give it a fucking rest. We all made mistakes, right?” I glared at him. I didn’t know why, but whenever he was here, I cussed a lot. He knew precisely when and where to push my buttons.
“At least mine were forgivable,” he sang as his eyes flicked toward Benny.
“What’d you do?” Blake snorted as he took a drag from his cigarette.
“Fucked her then I left her,” Levi responded as I scoffed. Blake’s amused expression changed as his jaw tightened.
“Fuck you.” I rolled my eyes at Levi, who laughed.
“Okay,” Melissa said as she entwined her hands with Nick’s. “See you.” She pulled him toward his car. She turned back and gave me the thumbs up. I sighed.
“Look, can’t we all be friends?” Liam asked as he looked at Levi and Benny. Benny glared at Levi, who took a cigarette from Blake. I knitted my brows as I watched them; they’d only met and already acted like friends.
“Nope,” Levi responded.
“Never,” Benny muttered. Liam groaned as he backed away. I watched as the school grounds got emptier, and silence overtook us. Levi leaned against his car as he turned to Aidan with a grin.
“How’s your shit-ass car doing?” he asked.
“Sorry, I didn’t get that. I don’t speak bullshit,” Aidan stated in a frustrated tone.
“Would you all just stop?” Miranda demanded. “Can’t you see he’s doing this to piss you off, to get under your skin and then use you?” She let out an annoyed scream and marched toward her car, Marcus following close behind.
“Thanks a lot, jackass,” I said as we watched Miranda viciously get in her car and drive off.
“I knew she liked me,” Levi stated. The guys laughed except Benny and Ethan. I noticed Liam checked out Levi’s car and raised a brow.
“Dude, what’s the horsepower on this thing?” Liam asked.
“Three-thirty-five to three-sixty, I guess.” Levi shrugged.
“To be honest, this thing was a beauty last night,” Blake commented as he leaned against it.
“Uh huh, and when I win again, we’re all going out and celebrating,” Levi said as he sent me a wink.
“How do you know that you’ll win?” Benny asked. Levi leaned off his car as he let out a chuckle. He stood right in front of Benny and held a poker face.
“Because I always win.”
***
I gave Levi the silent treatment as we drove back home. I was beyond pissed that he’d treat Benny like that when he was just as guilty! Then when he dropped me off, he drove on and said he wouldn’t be back for dinner. Good, because he didn’t deserve my mother’s freaking delicious food!
It was already after ten, and I was busy with homework. I’d done four pages of work already when a knock on my door disturbed me.
“Lana, you still busy?” Richard asked as he tiptoed into the room.
“Yeah, I’m almost done though,” I said.
“I heard you want to go to Yale,” he said as he took a seat on my bed.
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“Yeah, but I’m looking at other universities too.”
“Well, hopefully everything goes well and you get into there. Over the years I’ve known you, Lana, you’ve built yourself up well,” he said as I bit the inside of my cheek. “We’ve all made mistakes and you either accept it or learn from it.”
“Yep,” I said as I avoided eye contact. “Where’s Levi?”
“He’s downstairs, came back a few minutes ago. I think he was out with Keene,” Richard said as he stood up.
“Okay, well, goodnight,” I said as I stood up from my desk chair.
“Goodnight.” He walked out of the room. I went to the bathroom and decided to put on my pajamas. I put my hair up into a bun then walked out of the toilet. I took my glasses off and set them on my bedside table and looked at my phone. Miranda hadn’t messaged me yet; Melissa said she needed to cool off.
“I’m sorry,” a familiar voice said as I spun around. Levi leaned against my doorframe in his sweatpants and shirt. I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked down. He let out a frustrated sigh as I heard him come into the room and lock the door.
“You can’t expect me to forgive you just like that if you’re just gonna treat Benny like shit the whole time.” I raised my voice. He put his index finger to his lips and took his other hand to point to next door to where his parents were.
“He deserves it for doing that stuff to you,” he said and stepped closer.
“Can’t you just move on?” I yelled in a whisper. “You’re in the wrong too for acting like a dick last year, so don’t just think you’re off the hook because Benny is my friend now.”
“At least I didn’t hurt you!”
“You have some nerve to say that! I mean, Aidan didn’t do anything wrong, yet you act like a douche toward him!”
“We’re just fucking around. I went over to Blake’s house, and they were all there, so we caught up.”
“Then why do you have to act like such a dick the whole fucking time? It’s like you’re waiting for me to yell at you, asshole!”
“Fine. I’ll try to be nicer from now on, but you gained a clever mouth over the past year.”
“Wonder where I got it from?”
“Sssh, you better keep that mouth of yours shut,” he yelled in a whisper.
“Or what?” I asked as he inched closer. I backed away, but my legs hit the edge of the bed.
“Or I’ll shut it for you, my princess.” He smirked as he pressed himself up against me.
“I’d like to see you try.”
It’s like he waited for me to say something like that because as soon as I said it, he wrapped one arm around me. He put it the other hand on my cheek and smashed his lips against mine. The kiss was forced yet filled with need as he groaned. I lost my balance as I tried to pull away from him, so we fell on the bed. Our lips were still attached as he hovered over me. I used my fists to hit his chest. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them on either side of my face as he pulled away. Our breaths filled the room as he pressed his forehead against mine. His grip tightened on my wrists as he bit my bottom lip then kissed me again.
“Levi, what are yo—”
“Please, just one last time before I lose you,” he breathed out as I looked into his wild blue eyes. Somehow, I felt weak under him as I slowly closed my eyes. I parted my lips as I felt his brush against mine.
Chapter Four
Lana
The feeling of something that is bad, but in a way, it’s okay? I always wondered what it meant. I finally understood as I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling. I probably woke up ten minutes ago. Through my window, the sky looked gray and dull, another sign that it’s a cold, miserable day in winter. I glanced to the side and watched Levi sleep next to me, his black hair in my face. He was shirtless and only wore his sweatpants while I wore his shirt—just his shirt. I hated him so much yet last night said otherwise.
My alarm went off, but Levi turned it off. He let out a hoarse groan as he turned to face me. I watched as Levi took his arm and wrapped it around my torso as he brought me closer. I squinted my eyes as he snuggled into my neck, but I immediately pushed him away. I forced myself up and looked at my alarm clock. It was six-thirty as I hopped out of bed. Thankfully, Levi’s shirt ended at my thighs as I walked to my bedside table and grabbed my glasses. I quickly put them on and tied my hair up into a bun. I felt a smack on my butt, and I spun around to glare at Levi. He rested leisurely on my bed with his hands behind his neck as he smirked at me.
“Stop it!”
“You never said anything last night when I did it.”
I flipped him off as I walked to my closet. I didn’t know why, but I felt guilty. He always controlled me and got what he wanted. It made me confused because I’d never hate him. Last night felt so nostalgic as I remembered the past when it was just the two of us.
I grabbed a warm, comfy outfit for the day, then walked into the bathroom. I shut the door and made sure to lock it, then turned on the shower. Once I was done, I quickly put on my clothes and walked out. Levi was still in my bed. He had a wicked look in his eyes as his lips pulled up into a smirk. I ignored him and spun around to face my mirror. I brushed my hair, noticing his stare through the mirror. Then I saw it. I stared at it. At first, I didn’t think it was real as I ran my hand on it, but it was pure and tender. Right above my collarbone was a hickey. I heard Levi snicker as he realized I had noticed it. I spun around and flung the brush at him.
“Hey, watch it!” he exclaimed as he ducked.
“Why?” I hissed as I pulled off my sweater, then rummaged through my closet for the right shirt that covered the hickey.
“Leaving my mark on the world.”
I took a thick gray scarf and put it on along with my glasses. Okay, it’s covered, but if the scarf moved, then the whole world would see. I grabbed my backpack, forgetting it was open from last night. Something fell out, and as I was about to get it, Levi beat me to it.
“Damn. Smoking during periods and not participating. What happened, princess?”
“Nothing, and I wasn’t even smoking! Blake was!” I said, then put on my brown boots.
“You gonna let your parents sign this?”
“I have to, otherwise I’ll get another dete—” I cut myself off as I watched Levi take a pen from my desk. He scribbled on the paper and handed it to me once he was done. “H-how do you know my dad’s signature?”
“Uncle Griff taught me how to forge signatures years ago. How do you think I barely got into trouble at school?”
I let out a chuckle as I stuffed the paper in my bag. We strolled downstairs, and thankfully nobody was there. Levi went into the living room as I walked to the kitchen. I made myself coffee and toast, then sat by the island. I nervously tugged on my scarf as I sipped my coffee.
“Morning, sweetie,” my mother’s voice boomed through the kitchen.
“Morning,” I replied. Mom kissed me on the forehead, then walked to the fridge, all dressed and ready for work. I watched as she took out a tub of yogurt and spoon. She spun around with an upset look on her face, then sat opposite me. “Everything okay?”
“Not really,” she sighed. “Lana, I have to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“I know that we had this talk when you turned sixteen, but you’re eighteen now, and at this age, teenagers are quite busy,” she emphasized.
“Err…okay.”
“Your hormones are everywhere, and I understand that you just want to experiment,” she whispered. My eyes widened because she must’ve heard us last night. My parents’ bedroom was down the hall, and Levi’s parents were right next door. “It’s the talk…the birds and the bees.” Oh no. They heard us. We’re doomed. Yet I could’ve sworn whenever I wanted to say something Levi muffled it with his hand or mouth. “Or as Miranda says, ‘Netfix—”
“It’s Netflix, Mom.”
“Yes! Yes! Netflix and chill!” she said.
“What about it?”
“Ever since I saw Carter in your bed, it gave me chills. A million scenarios ran through my head, but I saw that both of you had clothing on and a pillow separating you two,” she explained as I gripped my coffee mug.
“Then why did you say ‘How was your night with Mr. Blondie’ instead of shouting at me?” I asked as the thought of Carter entered my mind.
“I trust you, Lana, and well…I didn’t see any protection in the bin.”
“Mom!”
“I’m sorry, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you, honey, and we’ve all been through that phase!” she added as I scrunched my nose. “You’ve been hanging out with a lot of boys lately, and one of them is bound to fall in love with you, so just remember.”
“I don’t want to fall in love ag—”
“I’m a doctor, and I don’t want to deliver a baby from you when you’re so young.”
“Why do you bring this up now?”
“Well, your father and I wanted to talk to you about it, but he’s stubborn, so I had to sooner or later.”
“So not for any other particular reason?”
“Nope. Oh, and next time let me know when you’re having a boy over. Other than Levi, of course…we trust him,” she said as a smile broke onto her face.
“I feel like a whore now.” I frowned.
“Oh, don’t worry, dear, we’ve all been through it,” Mom assured me as she stood up. I sat with a puzzled look on my face as she walked out of the room. That’s one way to start a Tuesday. I grabbed my backpack and walked into the living room. Levi was on the sofa. He was casually playing his electric guitar. He offered to take me to school, and I gladly accepted, because I had to tell him about the conversation I had with my mother.
***
When I walked down the hallways of Jefferson High, I was still ignored but conscious about the scarf around my neck. Anyone who towered over me could peek at it. I kept my head down as I strolled to my locker. I opened it yet wanted to get to Miss Rosa’s class as soon as possible.
“Morning, gorgeous.” I looked over my shoulder to see Carter.