by Raathi Chota
***
I squinted my eyes and let out a groan as Dad opened my curtains. The daylight scorched through the room as he walked to the door.
“Get up, kiddo. It’s already after one,” he said, then exited the room. I forced myself out of bed and rubbed my face. I instantly froze as my hand rubbed against my stitches. I cursed under my breath as I walked to the bathroom. I raised my nightgown, ready to take a piss, but immediately dropped it as I stared at the toilet roll holder. No freaking toilet paper, someone was full of shit. I walked out of my room and strolled down the stairs. Suddenly two hands wrapped around me to prevent me from colliding into them.
“We gotta stop doing this, pumpkin.” He helped me downstairs. It had to be Axel because he oddly called me pumpkin.
“Not to be mean, but why are you here?” I asked as he leaned on the staircase.
“Hanging out.” He motioned to the living room full of guys. My cheeks flushed as I lowered my nightgown and fixed my hair. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a slob. “What are you doing?”
“Well, it’s my house, but I came down here for toilet paper. I need to take a shit.” I whispered the last part.
“That’s the most flattering thing I’ve heard from a girl.” Axel laughed as I walked down the hall. Everything seemed to blur. I opened the hall closet and glanced up to see the crumpled bag. I stood on my tippy toes and snatched the bag.
“What the heck?” I muttered, because the bag was empty. Someone was apparently full of shit in this house. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a tall figure enter the room. I looked over my shoulder to see Ethan walk in with an empty plate in his hand.
“Hey, Lana,” he greeted.
“Ethan! My great friend, buddy, captain…hey.” I smiled and playfully punched his shoulder. He raised a brow at my weird behavior, and I laughed, then pointed at the bag, which was further away. “You’re kind of tall and…buff. I just really need to take a shit.”
“Err…okay,” he mumbled, then stretched his arm to get the bag. I clapped as he ripped it open and gave me two rolls. I thanked him, then skipped upstairs and into my bathroom. Once I was done, I collapsed onto my bed and snuggled into the sheets. The comfort only lasted about ninety seconds until I felt things being thrown onto my bed.
“Ouch! Dad!” I complained as I looked up to see Dad throwing pepper spray cans.
“Get up, Lana, and I forgot to give you those cans. There are quite a few boys down there, and I’m heading to the station,” he said as I pushed myself out of bed again. I mumbled something under my breath as I grabbed a casual outfit and headed into the shower. Afterward, I changed the bandage on my stitches since Mom was at work. Jade was visiting a friend while Richard slept.
I tied my hair up in a bun because I had to make more cinnamon rolls since everyone enjoyed them on Saturday. I opened the fridge and pulled out the containers yet noticed that they were empty. I squinted my eyes as I gripped the empty container and stormed into the living room. Music blared through a Beats Pill as the guys spoke.
“Who ate all the cinnamon rolls?” I demanded as I held up the container. No one answered or moved as I groaned. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a figure move. I snapped my head to see Dad walk with a cinnamon roll in his mouth. Our eyes met, and he instantly froze. “Dad, did you eat all of them?” I asked. He gave no answer as he stood with the roll in his mouth. I threw my hands up in exasperation and groaned as I walked back into the kitchen. I heard the guys laugh as I forcefully put on my apron. Dad came into the room with empty plates in his hands as I took out the ingredients. “Daddy, can’t you do something about them?”
“I’m not your mother; she’s the miracle worker. I’m a sheriff,” he said as he poured himself a glass of water.
“Then arrest them!”
“Have they done something illegal?”
“N-not really, but they will!”
“Sure, Lana. Call me when they do. Even though they’ve all been arrested, I must go to the station now…which means I’m leaving my daughter all alone with five males. Should I be worried?” he asked. “Nah, I trust Axel, and I like Ethan. Stopped by his dad’s store yesterday and bought a few things.”
“Cool.”
“Why aren’t you with him?” Dad asked as my eyes widened.
“I’m with Benny,” I said.
“Oh, yeah…but Ethan’s captain, and I heard they did pretty well last game.”
“Dad, Benny is on the team.”
“You guys go to the same school?” he asked, and I nodded. “Wait…what school do you go to? I never know because I don’t get any phone calls.”
“Jefferson High.”
“Right. But I like Ethan more.”
“Dad, you’re just saying that because you get a discount from Mr. Baxter,” I scolded. Dad shook his head, then set his glass in the sink. Richard entered the room with an empty plate in his hand, and I groaned.
“Rick, who do you prefer? Benny or Ethan?” Dad asked.
“That’s an easy one,” Richard said. “Ethan…captains all the way!” I threw my hands up in frustration because they were big sports fans.
“Benny’s dad owns a chain of seafood restaurants,” I pointed out.
“I’m allergic to seafood, honey,” Dad said. I groaned as they laughed. Dad walked to me and kissed my forehead. “I like Benny. He’s a good kid. We’re only joking.”
“I’m not allergic. Maybe I can get discount,” Richard said. I playfully rolled my eyes then said goodbye to them. Once they were out of the house, the music suddenly got louder. I sighed as I shut the kitchen door, yet it didn’t help.
I baked. I loved to bake and sometimes preferred it to cooking, but to do the same thing repeatedly bored me. I spent the next two hours making the cinnamon rolls from scratch. I was on my fourth batch as I placed another pan in the oven. The music hadn’t stopped, and neither did the boys when they came into the kitchen for a roll. I literally had to take the rolling pin to get them out of here. They finally gave up and decided on pizza. If I didn’t go into the living room earlier then I wouldn’t have gotten any.
I cleaned up until I heard weird noises from the other side of the house. I raised a brow as I took off my apron and walked out of the kitchen. The music still played, but none of the guys were in the living room. I turned it off and listened. I spun around to see the front door wide open. Axel stood on the porch as I walked outside into the cold weather. My eyes widened as I saw Blake punch someone. Levi stood next to him with a murderous look. I squinted my eyes and noticed the curly hair under the guy’s beanie.
“Let him do it,” Axel said. “He deserves it, and you know it.”
My breath suddenly quickened as Blake pushed Parker into the snow and kicked him. Out the corner of my eye, I saw my neighbor walk out of her house to see the commotion.
“Blake,” I called out as a car drove past and watched us. “Blake!” I yelled as he continued to kick Parker. I stomped down the stairs, then approached Blake. I placed my hand on his shoulder and whipped him around and noticed how his eyes darkened. “Stop!” I yelled in his face. Levi tried to get to Parker, but I stepped in front of him and blocked the way. Parker was unconscious, and I squirmed at the blood on the snow. “What the hell are you doing?” I demanded.
“Oh, sorry, didn’t want to get in the way of you and your friend,” Levi snapped.
“Quit the act, Willson. We know that you guys were fuck buddies back in junior year,” Blake muttered, and I suddenly paled.
“Yeah, we know how you kept each other happy, so you can take your curly-haired freak over here and go fuck somewhere else,” Levi mimicked as I let out a dry laugh.
“If your definition of happy was being forced into the janitor’s closet before class, threatening me, watching me undress, then using me, then yeah…I’m happy,” I sarcastically said. I noticed how Blake’s features softened as the realization hit him. I swallowed the lump in my throat to prevent myself from crying. I didn’t w
ant to cry, especially in front of them. Not again. “This asshole used me in junior year, and I had no one. Miranda was there, but she wouldn’t understand. I was all alone because someone didn’t have the balls to pick up the fucking phone!”
“What about them?” Levi pointed to Carter and Ethan.
“Benny wasn’t the only one, Levi,” I informed him, then looked at Parker. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. The damage is done.”
I glanced up as I looked at all of them. Looks of guilt and remorse filled their faces as I laughed. Yet it was a laugh filled with pain, agony, and envy, like I couldn’t believe it.
“You all believed him. Now I know what you really think of me,” I croaked out, then spun around. I locked eyes with Axel to see his shameful look. I clenched my fists as I walked up the stairs. I opened the door and bit the inside of my cheek to prevent the breakdown. I went into the house and tried to block out their arguments.
Chapter Eleven
Lana
Arguing. Curses. Shouts. That’s all I heard for the past thirty-five minutes. The neighbors got annoyed, so I told them to come inside. Being the bunch of assholes that they were, they left the unconscious Parker in the snow. So, after arguing for five minutes of who should go and get him, Ethan and Axel manned up and got him. I felt like Edward from Twilight as I watched Parker rest on my sofa. I sat directly opposite him as my nostrils flared. The sensation to cry vanished as rage filled my body. I wanted to punch someone. I wanted to throw something against the wall. I even wanted to throw the TV out the window. The guys were in the kitchen, and I specifically hid the cinnamon rolls before they went in. The recent event played in my mind as I took in Parker’s appearance. His face was beaten, yet no pity or sympathy came from me, just anger and hatred.
I remembered in junior year Aidan, Parker, and Austin walked by. We had Science together, and my locker was the closest to the janitor’s closet. Austin and Aidan passed me, but Parker stayed. I didn’t want to enter that part of my life again. It was buried, deep down, with everything else. I promised myself I wouldn’t talk or think about it ever again. The first bottle I ever got was from Keene, which I later found out was from Parker. When Parker found out that I had used his product without paying, he used it against me. He said he’d tell the whole school, the principal, Mr. Bronx, and my parents. I couldn’t let that happen; my life was already depressed. Levi left without a goodbye, and I didn’t hear from him for a year, so of course I’d think it’s my fault. To hear what he thought of me made me feel lifeless. It made sense yesterday when he said I’d be bad for him. He’d never said something like that before, so naturally I suspected something.
“Ugh,” Parker groaned as I glanced at him. His eyes fluttered open as he stared at the ceiling. He turned and gave me a lazy smile. I bit my lip and crossed my arms as I stared at him.
“Why?”
He seemed confused by the word as he squinted his eyes. A second later, he let out a sigh and slowly sat up.
“I was drunk, and they were going to find out sooner or later, Lana. Besides, aren’t you glad that it’s not haunting you anymore?”
“You said we’d never bring it up. That day in the library behind the shelves, you promised that you wouldn’t touch me! You kept your promise, but you still gave me the pills. Why?” I asked. When he gave me the pills in the library, I waited for him to push me into the nearest room. He didn’t, but when he and Austin did a few weeks ago, I expected the worst. Thankfully they didn’t do anything but confess that they stole the two parcels.
“Look around, Willson. Things have changed. You’re not alone anymore, so naturally, I stopped. Look at me.” He pointed to his face. I gave him a vacant stare as he picked up the ice pack from the coffee table and put it against his cheek. We stared at each other for a few seconds until he sighed.
“Look, I’m sorry that I…I sexually assaulted you back in junior year. I was new to Illinois and mixed with the wrong crowds,” he whispered. “I can’t believe I did that to you. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“Why are you even here?” I ignored his apology. Parker let out a groan as he dropped the ice pack. I watched as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. He slid the envelope across the coffee table, and I slammed my hands down to stop it. I raised a brow as I ripped the envelope open. My eyes widened as I recognized the tickets. I put them back in the envelope as I slowly stood up. I forced the envelope in my back pocket as Parker watched me. “I-I’ll get your money,” I whispered. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him jump up and walk toward me.
“N-No, that won’t be necessary,” he said, then placed his hand on my arm. I stared at it, and he dropped his hand. “It’s on the house. Since this will probably be the last that we’re doing business together.”
I gave a curt nod as I returned to my seat. The guys entered the living room. I watched as Levi stood right in front of Parker while Blake leaned against the wall. Axel leaned against the doorframe as Ethan and Carter sat on the sofa opposite me.
“You’re a sick asshole, you know that?” Levi spat. Parker threw his hands up in surrender and motioned to me.
“I apologized.”
“And you forgave him?” Blake demanded as he glared at me. Everyone stared at me as they waited. I looked down and slowly shook my head because I’d never forgive Parker Collins. He sexually assaulted me once, and the rest was harassment, but still, I’d never forgive such a selfish monster.
“Aidan was right. You’re a fucking perverted freak,” Carter hissed.
“On the bright side, it was stand up missionary. Hence why before class,” Parker mentioned as I dug my nails into the couch.
“Get the fuck out, or else I’ll rip your fucking face off and feed it to big-ass Scruffy!” Blake yelled as he pushed himself off the wall.
“What’s a Scruffy?” Parker asked, and Axel raised his hand.
“My dog,” he answered with a flashy smile. Parker threw his hands up in innocence as he strolled to the door. He stopped right in front of Blake and took something out of his pocket. Parker held out a box of Marlboro cigarettes for Blake to take.
“Take this as a sort of peace offering. No hard feelings?” he asked as I rolled my eyes. Blake didn’t move as he stared at Parker with an emotionless look. Parker let out a sigh as he slipped the box into Blake’s pocket. He took his index finger and placed it on Blake’s cheek. “If it makes you feel any better, Gunner, I’m not the one who stole her virginity.”
I suddenly snapped as I pushed myself off the armchair and stood onto the coffee table. When Parker spun around, I jumped on him. We fell to the ground, and I took off my glasses and tossed them aside.
“Fuck you!” I screamed as I punched him. My right fist connected with his face as my left wrapped around his neck. “I hate you!”
“Lana, stop!” Carter yelled as he tried to pull me away from Parker. My grip suddenly tightened on his neck as I continued to yell out what a sick person he was and how he ruined me. Levi was opposite me as he tried to release my grip off Parker. Axel and Carter tried to pull me off as Parker and Levi sought to remove my hands from his neck.
“Lana, let go!”
His Adam’s apple hit against my palm as he struggled to breathe. I immediately removed my hands as I stared at him. His heavy breaths filled the room as I watched his chest rise while he puffed. Ethan crouched down as I looked at him. A horrified expression filled his face as I stared into his brown eyes. He raised his hands while I breathed heavily.
“This isn’t you. Beating him up won’t change anything,” Ethan whispered as Carter and Axel hooked their arms with my own. They pulled me off Parker, but I stayed on the floor as I leaned on my knees. We watched as Parker slowly stood up and touched his neck.
“Get the fuck out,” Blake muttered as he shoved Parker’s beanie in his chest. I watched as Blake pushed him out of the house, then slammed the door shut. I picked up my glasses and sat on the armchair. A stone hard look
filled my face as I stared at Levi. His jaw clenched as he tried to avoid eye contact. No one spoke, which made the atmosphere tense. Levi let out a sigh as he straightened his posture. He looked me with weary eyes as he played with the ring on his index finger.
“Look, uh, I’m sorry, princess. We didn’t know. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone,” Levi mumbled as I leaned forward in my seat.
“Yeah…fuck you for leaving me when I needed you the most!” I screamed as I blinked away the tears. “You didn’t think twice, yet you all fucking assumed.”
“Yeah, well, we’ve all been through shit, Lana,” he stated. I didn’t know what to say, so I glanced at Blake, who reached for Levi’s lighter. I watched as he took it from the coffee table and put a cigarette between his lips.
“What we experience triggers change,” Blake said as he exhaled.
“Yet you still bought from Parker after he did those things to you. Why?” Ethan asked as I stared at the ground. Well, let me think… I got involved with a drug dealer. Killed someone, then buried him. Had nightmares of him haunting me, then found out that the drug dealer knew that I killed the guy. Then found out he’s not in the place that we buried him.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, I need a beer.” Axel sighed as he stood up. Ethan and Carter trailed behind as they walked to the kitchen.
“Lana, I get that you want to get into Yale, but not like this. Something tells me you’re not doing this for yourself. You don’t want to disappoint your parents because you’ve always been their little girl,” Blake said. “Stop doing this to please others. Do what is right and what you want. This is your life. Don’t fuck it up. Just bring out the side that no ever sees. You’re too afraid to, because you’ll be judged. Just like me.”
“We let our appearances get the best of us,” Levi said as he lit a cigarette.
“Yep. The bad boy and the nerd.” Blake chuckled as he shook his head.