“Ah, got it!” Squeak cheered as he dragged a wire out and started stripping it. “I can bypass the main line and go right to the backup with this and a few other jumps.” As he worked, he continued his assessment of the Truthers’ efforts. “I had heard all the stuff about these assholes hating scientists. But I didn’t realize how much they meant it. Even from my hiding spot I could hear them shouting a bunch of bullshit about us reaping the whirlwind. Fuckers.”
Sean drew back in shock at his friend’s language. Squeak may have looked like the same skinny kid, but he had definitely changed. Sean sighed. That happened when marauders threatened your family and took away your life. Even the Squeaks of the world can’t hide anymore, he thought, frustrated. Squeak nodded in approval at his work and reached for another wire.
“So did they destroy everything else? Is anything still here, still intact?” Sean tried to refocus on the information that they really needed. It helped to keep his mind off the fact that his oldest and dearest friend had just gone into premature labor and they had no medical help whatsoever.
Squeak took the pliers out of his mouth and jammed them in his pocket. “There’s a lot that’s still intact. I think herding three hundred frightened people was task enough, though there were a lot of them. From the few bits of video I was able to pull onto my tablet before it died, there were at least fifty of them, all armed in one way or another. They separated our security and took them in the Jeeps, took our weapons, painted some stupid shit. Not sure why they had time for that and not enough to seek out our seed stores, but can’t say that I’m upset about it.”
Sean inhaled sharply. “So the seed stores are intact then? They didn’t take them?” His heart pounded as he realized that this was the first bit of good news he’d had in weeks. After everything that had been sacrificed…after decades of work and preparation by Eden’s colonists, if the heirloom seed stores of Eden had been destroyed, all of that work and sacrifice would have been for naught. And, he thought wearily, the future of humanity may have been sealed.
“Yes, they’re intact. Though what good it will do us when they’ve got all our people, I don’t know.” Squeak grunted as he finished his last splice and tucked the wires back into the wall. He reached for a handful of switches, his hands glancing over them for just the right ones. After a few pointed flips, a quiet whirring noise began and emergency lights sprung on all around them. “There we go,” he grinned.
------------ Fi ------------
“Push, Fi, c’mon, you can do it! Breathe. That’s it, you’re almost there.” Sara’s commands kept Fi going. “Just one more, I think,” she added, and Fi nodded.
At least, she thought she nodded. Somebody nodded, but she had turned to jelly, so it was hard to tell who it was. The pain had morphed now in the last moments. Now it was just as advertised: labor. It was grunting, straining, screaming, breathing work.
After each push, Sara would help her out of her squat and back against the bed for a momentary rest. As Sara roused her again for the last push, Fi steeled her resolve. There was so much work already behind her, so much work. Surely she could make it to the finish.
At Sara’s command she bore down again, her legs feeling more like water than flesh, and her core burning like fire. All at once there was a massive release as Sara’s hands freed the baby’s shoulders. Fi collapsed back onto the bed.
“Got him!” Sara crowed.
Fi laughed, hysterical, her eyes closed. It was a boy. Of course. It was a boy. Sara worked to clear his airways. Just then, the emergency lights came on and Fi’s eyes flew open. Sara was swaddling the tiny, red creature in her grasp as he waved his angry fists. When Sara handed him to her, he opened his mouth and screamed.
Exactly, Fi thought. Welcome to the world.
A Different Species
------------ Asher -----------
“She’s ok, guys!” Sara reassured them as she came out, putting her finger to her lips. “The baby is too, it seems like.”
“What do you mean, ‘seems like’?” Sean asked, his voice cracking.
Asher’s chest cinched, his heart bucking, trying to kick its way out.
Sara held up a hand. “Sorry, sorry! Not trying to panic you. It’s just…he’s a preemie. So he’s little and kind of fragile, but he’s breathing ok…” She stopped and pushed her hair off her face. Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. “ I think he’s ok.”
Sean grabbed her and pulled her into his arms and she took a deep, shuddery breath.
Asher froze, pinned beneath successive waves of relief and panic. She was alive! He was alive. He.
The thought released him with a jolt and he swept through the door. Fi’s eyes opened and she smiled. Tears sprang to his eyes and he clenched his hands to steady them. Their new son lay sleeping on her chest, wrapped up snug like a little caterpillar in a cocoon. She waved Asher over and took his hand.
Her hair was plastered to her forehead in sweaty ropes. He’d never seen her so pale in his life, not even when she’d nearly run herself to death on the treadmill, trying to work through her feelings about the cause of the great Famine. But despite her obvious exhaustion, a smile danced on her lips and in her eyes. His heart squeezed. She was a mother now. And she’s happy.
“Asher, meet your son, Luke David Grey.”
“David.” The word left his mouth seconds before his tears broke their bonds. Overwhelmed, he sank into the chair beside her, still clutching her hand. The terror of the past hours welled up and pushed at his throat, forcing its way out in tight, choking sobs. He gasped, trying desperately to hold back sound, but he couldn’t stop the spasms that had seized his chest.
Fi’s lip trembled and she squeezed his hand. “It’s ok, Ash,” she said, her voice wobbling. “ It’s ok. We’re ok.”
He nodded, working to take deep breaths and regain control. “I’m ok, babe.” His throat was still tight. “Just…scared. It was…” He stopped, finally drawing a full breath. He took a few more and Fi waited, still squeezing his hand. He shook his head. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Ash.” A single tear wound its way down her cheek. Her lips still trembled. “I was scared too.”
He reached out and cupped her cheek, wiping the tear away. “No, I mean, it’s not fair for me to be weak. You…you just did something terrifying and crazy and amazing.”
His heart crumpled when she rewarded him with a weary smile. “It was pretty crazy, baby.” She lay back against the pillow and placed her hand gently on their son’s back. “But it gave us him.”
Asher startled, his focus restored. Fi wasn’t just a mother. He was a father. His hand crept over the blankets, like a child would reach out to a pet, eager, but tentative. When he laid his hand over Fi’s on his son’s back, he marveled at his tiny frame.
“You can hold him, baby.” Fi’s voice was warm and resonant. It rolled with contentment.
He turned to her, his interest piqued. Normally, he sort of thought of her as a creature of air and water. He always teased her that she must actually be a sprite or fairy of some kind. But this woman seemed different somehow. Rooted. Maybe she had become a creature of earth.
Gently, Asher pulled his son to his chest. He was such a miniscule ball of mush that it was almost a struggle to hold him.
Fi chuckled. “He’s not an egg, Ash. Just make sure you hold his head.”
Asher nodded, his eyes fixed on the baby, his heartbeat back to a steady canter. What had they done? How had they created this creature? He almost didn’t seem real. Soft and pink, he snorted a little as he breathed, but who the heck could breathe through a nose that tiny? And look at his fingers and toes. They’re crazy tiny. Oh, God. I’m a cliché. I’m counting his freaking toes. He took a deep breath and kissed his son’s head. “A boy.”
“Yes. I was right,” Fi murmured.
Asher sat beside her, holding his son and stroking her hair. It was only minutes before she snuggled into her pillow and slipped into sleep. He star
ed at her in awe, hardly daring to breathe for fear that the moment would evaporate if he did. He knew all too well how quickly this kind of happiness could be taken away.
Though he’d wished for a sign that his parents were still alive nearly every day, their absence now seared him like a fresh burn. He was incredibly touched that Fi had insisted on including his father’s name, David. They’d discussed Luke, wanting to honor the brother she’d lost so young, but they hadn’t discussed his parents’ names. It had been too painful for him. How proud they would be of him, he thought, and of Fi! They would absolutely love her.
When Fi had first told him she was pregnant, his mind had flown to his mother, but his preoccupation with their mission and Fi’s safety had kept the thoughts of his mother at bay. Now, in the silence of their shattered home, with his new son at his chest, he longed for her. Her touch, her voice, the way her hand stroked his back absently when she embraced him, as if it still thought him a baby.
His face grew hot as he fought tears. Asher closed his eyes. “One day, Luke, I promise you. One day I’ll find your grandparents.”
A few minutes later Sara peeked through the door. She saw Fi sleeping and smiled at Asher. She raised an eyebrow and gave a thumbs-up.
Asher nodded and she turned to leave. “Sara,” he whispered, rising carefully. Luke didn’t stir in his grasp, so he tiptoed out behind Sara into the dimly lit hall, closing the door behind him. “Where’s Sean? And Squeak?”
“Off putting Humpty-Dumpty back together, I guess.” She gave him a side-hug. “Hey, speaking of fairy tales, I didn’t really get a chance to congratulate you, Papa Bear.”
“Thanks, Sara.” He squeezed her back gratefully. It was the first time he noticed how weary she appeared. Her eyes were tired and pinched at the corners, her messy half-bun had exploded into haphazard trailers, and she still wore her soiled clothes. She could’ve been beamed right from a war movie.
“Uh...Sara?” He dropped his head, flustered. How could he possibly thank this woman…this amazing, fearless woman? She’d taken over and saved his wife…and his son… He felt the second warning of tears in the last two minutes and he took a deep breath, swiping at his eyes. “I’m trying to find some way to say ‘thank you’ and I’m struggling to find the right words.”
She huffed and her lip curled just a bit, forcing its way upward against the weight of her fatigue. “That’s ironic, Mr. Famous Author…Mr. Champion Journalist…O’ Chronicler of the Apocalypse…”
“All right, all right,” Asher said, rewarding her with a tired laugh.
“Seriously, Ash, you don’t have to thank me.” Her face grew serious again. She tugged at the tangles in her long hair, unnerved by all the open sentiment. It wasn’t her way, he knew. Not when it was really important.
Sara was only ebullient or dramatic over silly things like missed soccer calls or apple pie nights. Once she’d even tried to organize a sit-in at Eden when they wouldn’t hold a dance for the students (mostly because her little sister Lily had a crush and Sara was determined to be her wing-woman). But when it came to real things, she was closed up like a treasure box with a rusted lock. Still, she managed the words for him because he was family…because Fi was family.
“She’d do the same for me in a heartbeat,” she said.
“I know, but the only thing I can think is that I owe you everything…again.” Asher shuddered, nauseated by the memory of a pregnant Fi on her knees, a machete hanging above her neck. The granola he’d managed to choke down earlier threatened to come back up. He swallowed and tried not to retch. If it hadn’t been for Sara…
Sara picked at the door, having found a bit of paint that was flaking away. “And I’ll always owe you, Asher. You and Fi and Sean.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’ve always accepted who I am, all of you.” Her hands fluttered and then settled, finding refuge in her pockets. “It’s kind of hard to explain what that’s worth.”
“Sara.” Her eyes skittered away and her throat pulsed as she swallowed back tears. His throat tightened. She’d been afraid as well. Even Sara had been scared. He laid his hand on her shoulder. “Who you are is Luke’s guardian angel. It’s kind of hard to explain what that’s worth.”
Her eyes shone as she cupped Luke’s head. “Ok, Papa Bear. Well, it’s time for this guardian angel to wash up.” She whirled before her tears fell and hurried away.
Asher stood leaning against the doorjamb for just a moment as he watched her head down the long tunnel, her silhouette strobing in and out as she passed the emergency lights, like snapshots. Sara, her stride proud, her chin up. The Sara in the light. And in between, in the negative space…Sara, her face hidden behind the ebony curtain of her hair, her hands balled into fists. She wasn’t so easy to see. She was the Sara in the shadow.
There was a grunt and snuffle at his chest and he looked down, startled to find a pink creature wiggling in his grasp. A creature so small that his weight didn’t even register. His son. Luke David Grey. He reminded Asher of one of those “teacup” puppies people loved before the Famine, so teeny that they could be crushed by an owner rolling over in a deep sleep. Like a different species. His gaze returned to the space where Sara had been. A “preemie,” she’d called him.
He turned into their room and stopped a few feet from the bed, watching Fi sleep. It was strange to see her so small and quiet and pale. He’d gotten used to the round girl with pink cheeks (from hot flashes, she would’ve reminded him) and a hearty laugh who’d complained of heartburn and having to pee every five minutes. Not this fragile thing.
He flopped in the chair by her side with a sigh so deep that it seemed to come through him rather than from him. He wanted to stroke her hair, but was afraid to wake her. She needed the rest.
Asher pressed his lips to Luke’s tiny head, careful to avoid the soft spot Sara had shown him. “Luke, I know you’re just a little guy now,” he whispered, “but your mom and me…and our friends…we’re a different species. And one day,” his voice grew thick, “you will be too.”
On a Mission
------------ Sean --------------
“We’ll update you as often as we can, Asher,” Sean said. “And as soon as we have any news, we’ll let you know, ok?”
Fi lay in the bed, sliding in and out of sleep. The others kept their voices down, trying to encourage her to rest. Every time that Sean looked at her he felt his rage burn higher. This should have been the happiest time in her life, he thought. She should have been able to enjoy her newborn child and instead she had to worry about her “other” child, Kiara. No matter what else happened, he knew that he would never forgive the Truthers for this. It was a million times worse than the Famine. This was personal.
When Fi’s little brother had died, the Skillmans had been the only attendants. The rest of the Kelly family was too distant or too ill to travel. Sean was five, and even though it was one of his earliest memories, it was crystal clear. The air had been frigid, with dry leaves whipping and dancing above the hole in the ground. Now that he was grown, he knew that her brother’s grave had been tiny, but he’d been so small at the time that it had loomed like a gaping mouth, threatening to swallow him up.
He’d stood at the edge of that mouth and stared down into it, his hand clutched in Fi’s, her tears drying sticky on her six-year-old cheeks. He stared at that hole and felt a new hole grow in his own heart. It grew and grew until it filled up his chest and throat. And when he couldn’t breathe anymore and his brain screamed for air, he had made a promise.
He promised that he’d do anything to stop the world from hurting Fi. As soon as he made the promise his chest had loosened. He’d looked up at the watery white sun, barely warmer than the moon, and seared his tears away. He had to be strong. He had to protect her. And though he’d mostly failed miserably to keep that promise, he’d never stop trying.
He finally understood how Sara felt, why she walked around ready to lash out with her blades at anyth
ing and everything that represented evil. It was comforting, and easier, frankly, than dealing with the fear. The fear was worse than the outrage.
The fear crept into him slowly, sneaking in his crevices and alcoves when his guard was down. It flowed through him like negative chi, locking him down. Sometimes it nearly froze him in his tracks, stopping his breath. His mother and sisters at the mercy of the Truthers…his mind was a rain of falling blades.
Beside him, Sara was instructing Asher on basics for the baby, since she would be joining Sean in the search. “Make sure that you keep that formula Sean found in the medical pod handy, Ash. Even if Fi tries her best, some babies don’t ever really learn to breastfeed. At least, my aunt’s son didn’t.”
“Was he ok?” Asher struggled to keep his voice even.
Jeez, I feel for him, Sean thought. A new baby was freaking crazy enough. But a fragile baby, a ransacked home, a missing family…this was too damned much! And Sara looked terrible. His gaze shifted to his love. She’d managed to rest her body, but he could see the strain in her eyes at the thought of leaving Fi behind at such a critical time. Too damned much. He chewed his lip.
Unfortunately, they had no choice. They had to leave to track the Truthers and — God willing — the colonists as well, as soon as possible. Fortunately, it was the depth of winter. Tracking might be miserable, but with barren forests and three hundred hostages on the move, at least it should be easy.
Asher, Squeak, Fi, and the baby would be staying. Fi was too fragile and the baby too young to travel yet, and Asher couldn’t leave her. Sean’s logical mind understood this, but it scared him to think that everything rested on him and Sara.
Sara continued with her suggestions until Asher stopped her, bewildered. “Sara, how do you know all this?”
Emergence (Eden's Root Trilogy Book 3) Page 4