by Caroline Lee
“What?”
“You asked what I’m doing. I’m hiding. I didn’t think anyone would find us here.”
Her eyes narrowed, but her tone had softened when she said, “I almost didn’t.” Then she shrugged, and uncrossed her arms, one hand clenched around her cell phone. “I checked the campfire from the other night, and when you weren’t there, I was ready to drive up the river, calling your name. Luckily, I saw the golf cart and remembered what you’d said about fishing here.” She looked over his shoulder, and he wondered if her anger had dissipated. “Is that the tree we saw from the lake?”
“Yeah. Sometimes I come here to think. No one else knows about it.”
Those beautiful blue eyes pinned him. “And what were you thinking about, hiding out here today?” She didn’t sound forgiving.
“You.” He had to be honest. “I was wondering what you’d do when you found out…”
“Found out?”
Oh man, his arms ached from the strength it took to keep them by his side. To not cross the clearing, to not take her in his arms, to not kiss her. “…Found out what I’d done.”
But when her tone turned icy, he knew he couldn’t touch her. Not now, maybe not ever. “And what have you done, Will Weston?”
He took a deep breath, and in the time it took for him to exhale, chickened out. Dropping her gaze, he stared at Indy. The dog must’ve been able to sense the tension in the clearing; her head whipped back and forth between the two humans.
“Does whatever you’ve done have something to do with the fact that Soap is sitting at home pretending to be sick right now?” Will winced, but didn’t look up. “Or the fact that you’re hiding when you should be on your way downriver with the tour? I’ve been looking for you for hours.”
Her tone was like acid, and Will’s stomach tightened further. There was enough stuff in his life he couldn’t handle, enough stuff he’d screwed up. Had he screwed up the one thing that had come to mean more than anything else?
“Well, Will?” He didn’t even have the guts to meet her eyes, with her standing there in the middle of his woods looking so… so L.A.-ish. Looking like she owned the world and had complete control over it. Looking nothing like the cut-off-jeans- and flip-flop-wearing girl he’d fallen in love with.
When he continued to not answer, she sighed. “Will, I talked to Soap. I know he’s faking his illness. Maybe that’s just because he wants to play hooky or something, although none of your records hinted that he’d do something like that. But even if he was playing hooky, that’d be manageable, because you and Zack could still handle the river runs. We’ve gone a whole month, Will!” She began to pace, and Will found himself watching her feet, and the way her heels kept sinking into the dirt of the clearing. “We haven’t had any screw-ups since that first week, and this was it! This was our perfect week! My perfect week! We worked so hard to make sure that everything would be… well, perfect!” With her arms waving in anger, and her not focused directly on him anymore, Will felt safe following her lovely face. Even irritated, even ranting, she was sure a sight.
“Don’t you understand?” she continued. “This was your chance! Your chance to show your parents—your brothers!—that you’re as good as they are! That you can handle the responsibility of the ranch!” He wasn’t prepared for her to stop suddenly—much closer to him than she’d been before—and whirl around. Her eyes flashed with something he didn’t recognize when she pointed one finger at him. “This was our chance to prove them wrong, Will! So why did you…do whatever it was that you did? Why are you hiding? What’s going on?”
He had to tell her the truth, not matter how angry or disappointed in him she’d be. “I asked Soap to call in sick today. And then I turned off my cell and came out here to watch the lake.”
“Why?”
A deep breath. “Because I knew that with Zack being the only rafter on duty, he’d have to cancel the morning run, and guests would be angry…”
She was staring at him incredulously, as if she hadn’t actually expected him to confess that. “Why?”
“Because…” He shrugged and tried to shove his hands in his pockets, but his right one was already full. So instead he stood there on the shore with his arms hanging awkwardly. “Because if we cancelled the morning run, it would ruin your record. It wouldn’t be a perfect week.”
There. He’d said it. And judging from the anger and confusion he saw in her expression, he’d made a complete mess out of it.
Will rubbed the back on his neck. Just like he’d made a complete mess out of the rest of his life, too. Why had this seemed like such a good idea?
The look on her face had faded to hurt—almost too much for Will to bear—when she asked in a tiny voice, “You sabotaged me?”
The hopelessness he felt at that moment wrenched a bitter laugh from his lips. “I sabotaged myself.”
He tried not to wince at the desperation in his voice, but she’d still heard it, apparently. Her beautiful eyes clouded, and she took a step towards him, as if she wanted to touch him as much as he wanted to touch her. Which was impossible, of course; he wanted to hold her more than breathing, at that moment.
“Will, I don’t understand.”
“That’s because I’m as much an idiot when it comes to explaining things as I am at anything else, like running this place.”
“No! Will Weston, if anyone else—your family, anyone—had the audacity to call you an idiot, I would set them straight. I’m darn sure not going to stand here and let you call yourself one. You are brilliant; you have plans and ambitions and are perfect for your position on this ranch. Don’t ever think that’s not true.”
Holy moly, she sure was a sight when she was riled up like that. Her eyes flashed, her hips swayed as she wagged a finger at him, and Will tried not the think of what her pulling her shoulders back like that was doing to her frontal regions under that silky fabric. It was doing wonders for his frontal regions, and he had to tamp down on that entirely untimely desire.
And once he did, he let himself really hear what she’d said. And his knees went weak. Her faith in him was humbling. “You really think—” he cut himself off, not willing to let himself say it. But she understood. She always understood.
“I do.” Ellie took a step closer, and Will had to fist his hands to keep from reaching for her. “Don’t ever sell yourself short, Will. You can do this. You have done this.” But then, without dropping his gaze, her face twisted into a bitter grimace. “At least, you had. Until you ‘sabotaged’ yourself. Will you explain why you did it?”
He couldn’t put it off any longer. Taking a deep breath, Will felt like he always did when he went over Roiling Falls in a kayak. A sense of anticipation, weightlessness, as his heart climbed up into his throat. “Your contract said that you would stay at River’s End Ranch until you completed a perfect week.” He didn’t mention the time-limit, because he knew that she knew. “And I didn’t want you to have a perfect week.”
“But why?”
“Because then you’d leave, mission accomplished. I…I wasn’t ready, Ellie. I can’t lose you.”
Her mouth dropped open. Will wished he could be satisfied that he’d surprised her, but all he could think about was kissing those lips. Her jaw worked once or twice, and she sounded like she was choking when she finally made a noise like “Bwaaa?”
He raised a brow, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “I know I’m repeating a theme there, but: what? What are you talking about?”
“I can’t lose you, Ellie.” He repeated. “I don’t want you to go home. I want you to stay here at River’s End Ranch. With me.”
Part of him had hoped she’d melt into his arms when he’d confessed that, but he knew her well enough to be practical. Which is good, because she apparently didn’t see it as a romantic gesture.
Throwing her arms up the air, she made a noise halfway between a huff and a scream. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, Will Weston! Do you re
alize what you’ve done? You sabotaged my perfect week! You’ve ruined your chance at inheriting!” She began stomping around again, waving her arms angrily, her cell phone still clutched tightly in one hand. “Don’t you understand that? Your parents will find out that the aquatics program didn’t meet their perfect week requirement, and they’ll revise the will! You won’t inherit! And for what? For—”
“For you.”
Ellie stopped mid-rant, and spun around so fast that he thought she might’ve been in danger of falling over in those heels of hers. Her eyes went wide, and Will found the courage to move towards her. He halted when he was close enough to smell the subtle floral scent of her shampoo; close enough to reach out and embrace, if she’d let him.
“I did it for you, Ellie. You’re the best partner I could imagine. You make me feel alive—you make me want to paint again!” He tried to calm his pulse, to make himself slow down enough to make sure she understood. “This is my home, and I love it. But it’s not worth a thing if you’re not here with me. I mean, it is, but it would just be…I dunno, empty without you. I need you to stay. And this might’ve been dumb, but it was the only thing I could think of to make you realize how much you mean to me.”
She opened her mouth, but then shut it again, shock evident in her eyes. He risked touching her, reaching up and brushing a strand of her beautiful blonde hair away from her cheek. “I’m sorry for ruining your perfect week, Ellie, but I can’t lose you. I love you.”
Maybe she would’ve responded to his confession, if her phone hadn’t buzzed just then.
Ellie blinked up at him, and then when the phone buzzed a second time, she shook her head slightly. Will couldn’t tell if she was just confused by his declaration, or if she was denying it, and his stomach clenched in worry. Either way, she blinked again and lifted her cell phone to check her texts.
“It’s Zack. He says I need to get to the boathouse ASAP.” Her voice was dull, monotone. Not at all full of the excitement and love he’d hoped she’d respond with. Will swallowed, and closed his eyes tightly for a moment. He’d just screwed up his future, his chance at a real future, and she was just…what? Checking texts.
“Did he say why?” He tried to keep his voice even, to not betray his heartbreak, but it wasn’t easy.
“No.” Her blue gaze flicked back up to him, and then towards the woods. “I have Kelsi’s truck. We can get there faster that way.”
Then she looked up at him, really looked. Like, he felt her gaze all the way through him, down to his stomach and lower. He wanted so badly to wrap her in his arms, but he didn’t dare. She appeared like she wanted to say something, even took a deep breath…but then, at the last moment, she just swallowed and turned towards the path to the woods.
Will whistled for Indy to follow Ellie, and then exhaled. He felt like he was deflating, as he watched her trying to tromp through the Idaho woods in a set of L.A. heels. He’d told her that he loved her, and she’d left him.
Slapping his hand against the right pocket of his jeans, Will felt the lump there that had signified his hope for the future, and cursed quietly under his breath. Well, better go do damage control. See if there was any way to clean up his mess.
He doubted it.
CHAPTER TEN
The glass of the window was cool against her forehead. Good thing Kelsi kept the A.C. cranked. The lake flashed by, in between patches of woods, but Ellie wasn’t concentrating on it. No, she was staring into the rearview mirror, at the puppy it reflected. Indy was sitting in the truck bed, her tongue out and a grin on her face that shouldn’t be possible, given Border Collie physiognomy. She was so happy. Happy just to be riding in a car.
Ellie didn’t know how she felt.
Her grip tightened around the cell phone in her lap. She felt like it had become a permanent extension of arm, since that call from Wade only a few hours ago. She’d been gripping it since then, her pulse pounding and her temples sweating and her mind racing while she waited for some word about Will.
And then she’d found him, and everything had…stopped, somehow. The phone—and the month’s worth of work it represented—didn’t matter. All that had mattered was Will. And what he’d said.
I can’t lose you. I love you.
She’d never imagined that he would sabotage his own happiness, his own chance of a future here at the ranch…for her. She’d been prepared to berate him, browbeat him, anything she could do to convince him that he’d been an idiot for throwing it all away… And now? Well, now she wasn’t so sure that he’d done something smart, but she couldn’t very well fault his feelings, could she?
Not when she felt the same way.
“Did you mean it?” Her voice was so tiny, she didn’t recognize it. Wasn’t even sure he heard her.
After a long moment of him not answering—and another mile of the lake speeding by—Ellie lifted her head from the window, and straightened. She shot a glance his way. Will’s hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, his knuckles white. He stared stoically out the windshield, and she wondered if he’d regretted his confession.
But, as she watched him from the curtain of her hair, she saw him swallow. Flick his tongue over his lips. Dart a glance once in her direction, and then drag his eyes back to the road. “Yeah,” was all he said.
I can’t lose you. I love you.
“You…” She inhaled, exhaled, trying to understand what he’d done. Turning in her seat, she faced him directly. “You knew your parents’ ultimatum, and you deliberately ruined that, just to get me to stay?”
He didn’t tear his gaze from the road. “I told you last week. I think we make a good team. You can handle the stuff that I can’t—that I don’t want to. You can see things that need doing. You’re the one that made my program a success. I don’t want you to leave.”
“You don’t want me to leave because I’m good for the program?”
Finally, he glanced at her again, as if confused by the clarification. She felt the truck slowing, even though they weren’t to the boathouse yet. “Well, yeah. I really do think that River’s End Ranch needs you and your talents.”
“That’s…that’s not what you said before.”
I love you.
“Well, I thought I’d appeal to your professional nature.” The truck was coasting now. He must’ve taken his foot of the gas.
Ellie needed to hear him say the words again. “Try appealing to my personal nature.”
That wry half-grin she’d come to love flashed across his lips, and he braked the truck, stopping it right there in the middle of the road. He shifted so that he was facing her, pierced her with those whitewater-blue eyes, and said, “I love you, Ellie Redfern. I’ve told you that I’m not the brightest bulb in the box, but—”
“No.” Her hand twitched towards him, but his remained solidly on the wheel, so she couldn’t reach out and touch him the way she wanted to. The way he’d touched her by the lake just a few minutes ago. “No. You know I don’t like to hear you say that. You’re a brilliant man, Will, and I will defend you until you realize that.”
He shrugged, his face stoic but something twinkling in his eyes. “And that’s one of the reasons I love you. How can I not? You see the me that no one else sees. No one else has ever seen.”
Suddenly, Will groaned and dropped his head to the steering wheel. She reached for him instinctively, but managed to arrest the movement when her hand hovered right above his just-trimmed head. “Ellie, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about your record when I pulled this stunt. I wasn’t thinking about how it would make you feel, to work this hard to make the program perfect, and then to have it ruined on the last day.”
An oncoming car swerved around them, but Ellie ignored its honking. Will must’ve too, judging by the way he banged his head once against the wheel. “I’m sorry. It’s not going to affect your paycheck or resume or anything. If you want to get on that plane tomorrow morning, I won’t stop you…”
He still hadn’t
looked up, but Ellie felt her chest tightening. She’d forgotten about her plane ticket away from here. The plane ticket she’d been trying to forget for the last two weeks. This morning’s emergency had pushed it from her mind, and even though she’d been frantic to deal with the mess Will had created, she hadn’t once thought about leaving.
She belonged here. With him.
“Is that what you want?” she asked tentatively. “Me to leave?”
His voice was muffled against the steering column when he muttered, “As much as a root canal.” She watched his knuckles whiten again as they clenched the wheel. “The thought of you leaving makes me…”
“Makes you what, Will?”
“It hurts. I don’t want you to go.”
Her hand dropped to his head, then, and they both let out breaths they’d been holding. “I don’t want to go either,” she confessed.
Slowly, with her hand still on the back of his neck, Will raised his head. They stared at one another for a long moment, until he finally grinned slightly. “Well, it’s not exactly how I’d hoped you’d respond when I told you that I loved you, but it’s close enough.”
Her fingers played with the hair at his nape. “What did you hope I’d say?”
“I’d hoped you’d throw yourself in my arms and declare your undying love, but instead you checked your text messages.” His grin turned wry. “But I suppose just knowing that you don’t want to leave me is worth it.”
Ellie felt her other hand tighten around her phone. “I’m…” She cleared her throat, unable to drop his gaze. “I’m sorry, Will. I was just so frantic to find you, and then you laid that bombshell on my lap, all about why you’d done what you’d done, and… I guess I just wasn’t thinking.” She’d seen the text, and only been thinking about the problem. “I wanted to fix everything, but then we got in the truck, and I realized what you’d said. I mean, really thought about it.”
His tongue flicked across his lips once, and made her think about the way he’d kissed her during the last week. “And now that you’ve thought about it? You still think it’s the ‘dumbest thing’ you’ve ever heard’?”