Upstairs, I don’t bother changing out of my dress, but I do switch my heels for boots and throw a long cashmere wrap around my shoulders. It’s not really warm enough for the chill that settles in from the mountains overnight, but anything is better than feeling this numbness in my bones.
I don’t eat. I don’t want food—I want my daddy back, but if wishes were horses, right? I grab a bottle of my father’s whiskey and head outside, walking the stables and then the grounds for what feels like hours. Eventually, the hurt lessens, and I smile as I bring the whiskey bottle to my lips and deem myself well and truly drunk.
I cut through the pastures toward the bed-and-breakfast. I could lie to myself and say my feet carry me, but I know exactly where I’m headed. Because when I feel this way, there’s only one other person on this earth I want. I take another long pull from the whiskey—it burns my throat all the way down and I raise the bottle heavenward. “I miss you like hell, Daddy.”
“Lemon?”
I sniff and turn. Colt is standing behind me. Of course he is. He’s already changed out of his funeral clothes and is wearing faded jeans and a Henley. Every damn muscle can be seen through the thin shirt, and I don’t mind that he’s catching me looking.
His face is stern as he rolls his gaze over me, finally settling on the whiskey that I try to hide behind my back. “What are you doin’ out here?”
“Lookin’ for trouble.” I bite my lip and poke my finger at his chest, trailing my hand over hard, warm muscle that’s practically begging to be touched. “You seen anyone who fits that description?”
He leans forward and takes the bottle from me. I try to snatch it back, but settle instead for pouting and not falling over.
“You never could handle your whiskey.”
“I handle my whiskey just fine. It’s everyone else who’s the problem.”
“Right.” He’s stone-faced as he looks me over from head to toe and takes my hand.
I stare at his rough fingers in mine and sadness slams into me, clutching at my throat, squeezing my heart until it hurts.
“Jesus. Did you even eat today? Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“To my place.”
“I don’t think so. Nothing good ever came of you and me being alone.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Lemon. I’m not taking you back to the ranch house because your Mama don’t need to see you like this.”
I puff out my cheeks, blowing my bangs out of my eyes. “Like what, drunk and grieving?”
“That what you’re callin’ it?”
I yank my hand from his and stop dead in my tracks. “How dare you. My father was just laid to rest.”
“Yeah, and all your worst demons are coming out to play. I don’t think your family needs to see that side of you right now.”
“That side of me? What the hell does that mean?” I scowl. “And how would you know what they need?”
“Goddamn it, woman. You haven’t changed any. You’re still an obnoxious drunk.”
I deepen my scowl and throw in a pout for good measure. “And you’re still annoying.”
Colt raises a brow. “Annoying?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Okay, that’s it.” He bends at the waist and scoops me up and over his shoulder. My stomach protests with the sudden lack of the-right-way-up-ed-ness.
“Put me down!”
“Nope.” He slaps my ass and I squeal and pound my fists against his back. Colt climbs the stairs to his cabin and opens the door. I buck and kick and he tosses me on the bed as if I weigh nothing. I’m on my feet as soon as the room stops spinning, but Colt blocks my path, his back pressed firmly against the door.
“You best get comfortable, Lemonade, because you ain’t goin’ nowhere until you sober up.”
“You can’t hold me here. That’s called kidnapping.”
“Call it what you want, darlin’. You and me are gonna be spending a long night together.”
I cross my arms and sit on the edge of the bed, eyeing the whiskey bottle like a lover he’s keeping me from. “When did you become so un-fun?”
“I don’t know, Lemon. Maybe it was around the time my girlfriend walked out on me.”
I sigh and lie back on the bed, staring up at the peeling paint on the ceiling. “It never would have worked with us.”
“Oh, really?” He smirks and folds himself into a chair, still close enough to the door to keep me from sneaking by. “Why is that?”
“Because I was dying to get out, and you were determined to stay.”
“How the hell would you know? You never even discussed leavin’ with me. I just woke up and you were gone.”
“I couldn’t stay here, Colt. I didn’t want their pity. All those empty words, the judgement, the way they looked at me like I was something that might break.”
“No one was lookin’ at you like that, Lemon.”
“You looked at me like that,” I accuse and instantly regret it. A quiet sob tears free of my chest and I roll onto my side and close my eyes. The bed smells like him, like wilderness and sage. I press my nose to the coverlet and breathe him in because I can’t say these things to his face. “I loved you. I was so madly in love with you, I thought it might kill me.”
He laughs, but it cuts bone deep. “The feeling was mutual.”
“You said was,” I murmur as sleep beckons to me like a gentle lover. “You don’t love me anymore, but seeing you again makes it all so clear. My heart still beats for you, Colt. No matter how much I wish it wouldn’t.”
CHAPTER TEN
Colt
“What did you say?” I whisper into the quiet cabin, though I know I’m never getting an answer to that question.
Lemon’s breathing deepens and she rolls toward me. She’s a different person than the Lemon I knew from twelve years ago. Time has aged her. Lemon’s face is still just as gorgeous as it ever was, maybe more so with the faint laugh lines bracketing her luscious mouth. Her body is tighter now too, hips a little wider, her ass rounder, and her tits are much more than the handful I used to cup, but inside, she’s still the fiery Lemon I loved. New York didn’t dull that. If anything, it made her even more passionate. I stare at her sleeping form and debate my choices. I could throw her over my shoulder and walk her back to the ranch, but she’s just as likely to make a ruckus and wake everyone up, so I shoot a text to West.
Me: Don’t kill me, but your sister’s spending the night.
West doesn’t bother to reply. Instead, he calls, and I head into the bathroom and answer it on a whisper, “Hello?”
“What the fuck is my sister doing in your bed?”
“Come on now, West. You really think I’m gonna go there again? She was drunk and wandering around near the B and B. I thought it was safer to bring her back here than return her to the ranch house and wake your mama.”
West sighs into the receiver. “That’s a good point, I guess.”
“She drank a lot.”
“Wine?”
“Worse, whiskey.”
“Shit. Lemon never could handle her whiskey.”
“I know it.”
“Okay, Wade and I are in town, and God only knows where Wyatt is. He disappeared as soon as we got home, but you call if you need us.”
“Will do.”
“I know I don’t need to tell you that if you touch her—”
“Don’t you have any faith in me as a man who knows right from wrong and who happens to be a pretty decent human being?”
“Well, let’s see. You made out with my little sister when she was sixteen, took her virginity at seventeen, and let’s not forget that you—”
“Yeah, okay. I haven’t always been the best judge of character when it came to her.”
“Colt, when it comes to Lemon, you could never tell up from down.”
“It’s different now.”
“Is it? Let me ask you something. In the time she’s been back, have you thought about p
icking up right where you left off?”
I let out a disgruntled sigh.
“I rest my case.”
“She’s safe with me.”
“Lemon has never been safe with you. Do you know why?”
I tense and grit out through my teeth, “I know you’re about to tell me.”
“You two are all kinds of wrong for each other, and I think you’ve been through enough.”
“Why don’t you let me worry about what I’ve been through and what I’m capable of handling.”
“Well, when she skips town again in the middle of the night, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”
“I’ll bring her back in the mornin’.”
“See that you do it before Mama wakes and finds her gone. She don’t need any more heartache right now.”
“Uh-huh.” I end the call and bounce the phone against my palm as I exit the bathroom and stare at the woman in my bed. Lemon hasn’t moved. Her hair falls into her face and I cross the room and brush it back like I’ve done a million times before. A quiet sigh leaves her parted lips and I have to resist the urge to sweep my thumb across them and see if they’re as soft as I remember.
I may have promised her brother I could keep my hands to myself, but seeing her laid out before me, I wanna touch her everywhere. I just bet her fiancé would love that now, wouldn’t he?
Moving away from the bed, I sit in the armchair, watching her sleep. I can’t sleep here and still be awake enough to work in the pastures tomorrow. And I can’t go to the bed-and-breakfast because it’s locked up tight after office hours. So I have no choice but to climb in beside her, but I don’t like my chances of getting any shut-eye tonight. Not when the only woman I’ve ever loved is sleeping beside me, the way I’ve always wanted.
Turning out the light, I take off my jeans and leave my boxers in place as I slip beneath the covers. I yank them out from under her and she rolls into the middle of the bed. I gently try to push her over, but if I’m honest with myself, I don’t try too hard. I lie back against the pillow and cover us both with the blankets as she snuggles in closer, her head on my chest and her arm draped across my waist. I ease my arm out from under her and wrap it around her shoulders, gently holding her to me.
In the morning, she’ll get up and things will go back to the way they were. I’ll regret ever pulling her into my cabin. I’ll regret pushing the hair back off her face and holding her like she belongs to me, because the truth is, she don’t belong to anyone. Maybe she never did.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Colt
Twenty years old
Several hours after I received the biggest ass-whooping of my life, I emerge from my bedroom and sit at my daddy’s table. Skirt steak and potato again. He don’t know how to cook nothing else, and I ain’t dumb enough to complain because he’s kept me fed ever since Mama died. I think that’s why finding me with Lemon Winchester was such a slap in the face, because without the paychecks we bring in from Winchester Wild, we’d have no food on our table and no roof over our heads.
We eat in silence until we’re done, then my father leans back in his seat and glares at me. “Clean this up, and then you head on over to the Winchesters’ and you make it right, boy,” my father says.
“Yes, sir.”
“Lemon Winchester is off-limits.”
I nod as I collect our plates and scrape off the table scraps into the dog’s bowl. I wash the dishes in record time and leave the house. My face and body hurt from the beating my daddy gave me. I didn’t fight back, because I earned it. I kept Lemon out all night. My selfishness could have ruined her reputation, but worse than that, I made her daddy and her brothers look at her like they were ashamed, and I never wanted her to feel the brunt of that anger. It should all be directed at me. This is all on me.
I saddle up Knievel and ride on over to the Winchester Ranch. It’s just after dinner, and I know the boys will be finishing up in the stalls as Mr. and Mrs. Winchester sit on the porch with a whiskey, while Lemon is usually up in her room doing her homework.
The Winchester boys all side-eye me as I pass on my way to the ranch house, but I don’t stop to talk to them because I got to make it right with Mr. and Mrs. Winchester first. Eventually, West and I will have it out, but that’s a problem for another day.
I climb off my horse and tether him to the fencepost. He whinnies and bows his head to gnaw on the lush green grass by the fence. I don’t expect to see Lemon when I glance up. She’s standing on the front porch, as if she just came bolting out from inside. She takes a step toward me.
“Go on back to your room, now, Lemon,” Mr. Winchester says.
“Daddy,” she says in a warning tone.
“You mind if I visit with you a minute, Mr. Winchester?”
“You’re standin’ in my yard talkin’ now, ain’t ya?”
“Yes, sir.” I take a deep breath and try not to glance at his daughter as I address him. “I’d like to apologize for my actions. I know it was wrong of me to meet her last night, and I know I should have come and spoke to you first, but I love your daughter, sir. I can apologize for going about things the wrong way, and sneaking around behind everyone’s backs, but I won’t apologize for lovin’ her.”
“You’re old enough to be her big brother, and you’re certainly old enough to know right from wrong.”
“Yes, sir, I am. But being with Lemon doesn’t feel wrong, and I swear I ain’t ever looked at her like a little sister.”
“You broke my trust in you. You broke my trust in my little girl.” Mr. Winchester glares at me, and then he looks at his daughter, the tears streaming down her face, and something in him seems to melt. Lemon has a way of doing that to a man. All your resolve just disappears into thin air. I don’t care that my daddy warned me away from her because the truth is, I can’t stay away. Now that I’ve kissed her, been inside her, and held her in my arms, I can’t ever give her up. And if I can sway old William Winchester, I know my own father will come around.
“I could tell you to stay away from him, Lemon, but I know two things. One, you’re Winchester wild. I told you that Sleep’n Pete was off-limits and it just made you want him more. I’m not stupid enough to believe that won’t happen again here. But you’re my little girl, Lemon, and while you live under my roof, you won’t go sneaking out with boys in the middle of the night.”
She swallows hard and nods. “No, sir.”
He turns toward me. “And you come to my front door when you wanna see her.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You hurt my little girl, if you disrespect me, her, or the Winchester name again, I will castrate you.”
“Yes, sir.” I smile as it finally registers the boon he’s giving us here. “I won’t do nothing to hurt her or your family name.”
“Oh, Daddy.” Lemon throws herself into his arms and he looks taken aback, but he holds her tight and buries his face in her neck. After a beat, I clear my throat, because I don’t know what else to do. I wanna be the one holding her right now, though I know I’m on thin ice.
Lemon releases her father and runs across the porch. She’s down the stairs and jumping into my arms quicker than I can blink. She wraps her legs around my hips, and I’m so caught off guard, the baseball cap shifts on my head. She grabs the bill and turns it around so she can kiss me uninterrupted.
“Lemon,” her father warns, and she slides down my body. I set her on her feet and lean in to kiss her cheek. She looks up at me like every word she said is true, like I own her heart, and I know that every punch from West and my father was worth it. I’d endure one hundred thousand beatings for this girl because she’s my everything. And always will be. There ain’t no getting over Lemon Winchester.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lemon
I roll over, snuggling closer to the warm body beside me. I slide my hands over hard muscle and groan, and then I sit bolt upright and stare at Colt’s sleeping form.
No! Oh God, oh God, oh God. I did not sle
ep with Colton Hayes last night.
I take stock of my body. I’m not sore like I should be after sex, but then why the hell am I in his bed while he’s buck naked? I carefully ease the cover up and take a peek, both disappointed and relieved when I discover he’s not naked at all, but wearing cotton boxers. Cotton boxers that his hard on is straining against.
Oh, boy.
“Something you need, Lemonade?” Colt’s sleep-rough voice scares me and I drop the blanket and scramble out of bed, thankful he didn’t undress me.
“Why am I here?”
“You tell me. You’re the one who was out lookin’ for me last night.”
I remember the whiskey and the longing for him, feeling like I needed Colt for the world to seem right again. In the twelve years that I’ve been gone, the ache to have him close burned so deep that some nights seemed to stretch on forever. In a city filled to bursting with people, in a bed draped in the finest silk sheets, I’d never felt so alone. I’d thought about him a lot. I was just too far from home and too stubborn to do anything about it. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t cause no harm. I kept you here because I didn’t want you waking Mama up.”
I quit my perusing the cabin for my boots and whip my head around to face him. Colt’s on his side, elbow propped on the pillows as he leans his head on his palm and tracks my every move. “Do you always call her Mama?”
“You know what she’s like. I wouldn’t dare go against Mama Winchester.” His brow creases and he throws off the covers, giving me another show of all of that glorious muscle and the sizable bulge in his boxers. He sits up and climbs out of bed. “It really bothers you, doesn’t it?”
For a moment, I think he’s talking about his giant erection. But the tone is all wrong and when I snap my gaze to his, there’s no humor in those gray eyes.
I shake my head, but we both know I’m lying.
“How ’bout I stick to ma’am from now on?”
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