When I’m home, there’s a part of me that feels like this is where I belong, amongst my family, in the arms of my first love, the boy next door. And when I’m in New York, I’m a girl from small-town Texas, who made a life, and a career in the big city. I’m more than just a farm girl, a rancher’s daughter, and a farmhand’s wife. Can I leave my life in New York for the only man I’ve ever truly loved? The bigger question on my mind is, will he ever forgive me for leaving him, or is he just content to punish me over and over for wasting twelve years of our lives?
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Colt
I roll over and reach out for Lemon. My hands come up empty, and as I open my eyes and stare at her side of the bed—vacant—I start to wonder if maybe I dreamed the entire thing. Then I sit up and see her ruined panties discarded on my wooden floors and I flop back on the mattress. She ran out on me. Again.
I shake my head and tug my hands through my hair, replaying everything I did to her last night, everything I said.
I was a cold asshole, and I’m not sure I know any other way to be around her now. It ruined me when she left, and I still fucking love every little thing about her. But I have to harden my heart against the onslaught of Lemon Winchester. Because if I thought her leaving me at twenty-two-years old ruined me, her leaving after I’ve loved her and lost her, and finally got her back again, is going to destroy me completely.
I shower and dress before heading out to the ranch house.
Lemon isn’t at breakfast when I walk in, which should give me time to eat without being on edge, but I am. When she scurries down the stairs and sees me watching her in those tight jeans and plaid button up, she turns for the coffee pot, and I get up and rinse my plate in the sink right by her.
“Mornin’,” she says quietly over her cup.
I don’t respond, and she glances nervously in my direction. I reach around her and grab the pot. “You don’t mind if I have some of this, right?”
Her brow creases. “No. Of course not. Go right ahead.”
“Well thanks, darlin’. Don’t mind if I do.”
She leans in and murmurs, “Is there something wrong?”
“Nope. Why would anything be wrong?”
“I just thought after last night … it …” She swallows, and I have this insane urge to wrap my hand around her delicate throat and stroke the tender flesh, but I can’t do that here in front of her brother and her mama. When it comes to Lemon, I need to relearn the word restraint.
“It what? Would be different?” I say with a grin, and lean in a little closer to whisper in her ear. “See, I thought the same thing, but it seems you can’t keep from runnin’ out on me in the middle of the night, Lemonade.”
“Okay, what on earth is so interesting about that coffee pot? Y’all have been crowded around it whispering sweet nothings for the last five minutes now.”
I turn and wink at Mama. “No one makes a cup of joe like you, Mama.”
“Colton Hayes, you best not be flirting with me in front of my daughter, or I might end up getting chewed out as all y’all say.”
“Nah. She don’t mind. Lemon couldn’t give two cow craps what I do, or whom I do it with. She made it crystal clear a long time ago that she don’t feel nothin’ for me.” I set my cup in the sink and head for the door, grabbing my hat off the stand. “Have a mighty good day, ma’am.”
“Wait. I haven’t finished packing your lunches yet.”
I cringe. Nothing like trying to make a point with your hasty exit and having it shot to hell because Mama Winchester reminds you to take your packed lunch like a little boy. I turn back and place my hat on my head, tipping it in front. “Work waits for no man, ma’am.”
I exit the house, the screen door slamming just a little too loudly as I make my way to the stables. I’m just tacking up Knievel when Lemon runs into the barn. “Colt, we need to talk.”
“I’m on the clock, Lemon. Some of us have work to do around here.”
Her shoulders sag, and I feel like shit. I grab the reins and lead Knievel from his stall. She stands in the way, arms folded across her chest in indignation. “So that’s it. You fuck me and you don’t even have the balls to talk to me about what happened last night?”
Cash is rubbing down his horse a few stalls away, and I know he heard every word by the smug smile on his face.
I pull Knievel to a stop and lean in closer to Lemon. “Why don’t you go public with that shit?”
“It’s not like everyone doesn’t already know.”
“See, no one actually knows because your brothers haven’t beaten the shit outta me this morning, but you can bet the entire ranch is gonna be talkin’ by the end of the day.”
“So let them talk.” She throws her hands in the air. “Who cares? It’s none of their goddamn business who I have sex with.”
“You wanna know why I don’t have anything to say to you? It’s because last night meant more to me than just a quick, hard fuck, and I thought we were finally on the same page. But then I woke alone in bed this morning and there was barely any trace that I hadn’t just dreamed it all.”
“I’m sorry. I just … I had a lot on my mind. I didn’t think—”
“No, you didn’t, did you? Seems you never do think about me.” I know it’s a low blow, drudging up ancient history and throwing something in her face that we said as teens, but I find myself all kinds of petty these days.
“Colt, that isn’t fair.”
“No, it’s not.” I urge Knievel forward and out through the main stable doors. Once outside, I take a beat to breathe. The sky overhead is the pale blue of a Texas morning, despite what they predicted on TV about wild weather. Right now, there’s a fucking hurricane in my heart, tearing down the walls I put in place when she left me, shaking the foundation from the ground up, and laying waste to the ruin of my soul, and her name is Lemon Goddamn Winchester.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Colt
Twenty-two years old
Driving a head of cattle across the eastern pasture is long, backbreaking work. With over 300,000 acres, Winchester Ranch is the largest working cattle ranch in Red River county, so getting from one end of the property to another is sometimes an all-day experience. I pull the hat from my head and wipe the sweat from my brow with my red bandana. It’s hot as Hades out here, and I’d give anything to be sitting on that front porch swing with Lemonade, her feet in my lap, a sweet tea in one hand as I rub her swollen ankles with the other.
Her daddy might still wanna kill me—West too—but little by little they’re coming round. Just last month we shook hands on a deal that would tie me to this land forever—my own slice of heaven right here at Winchester Wild. And though Lemon don’t know nothin’ about it, the three of us have been working hard on getting things sorted for her and the baby.
I’m making it right, doing right by Lemon and her folks, trying not to tarnish the family name further. This town don’t make it easy though. She’s just finished high school, and if her peers talking behind her back weren’t enough, she’s gotta face the judgement of every Betty Lue Sue in town looking down on her. Sometimes I wish we could trade places, because it’s so much easier for men. I’m older, I’m the one who got her pregnant, I’m the one who should have known better, and yet she’s the one who’s forced to carry all the shame of our situation along with our unborn child.
Part of me wonders whether staying in this town is the best thing for her, but where the hell else would we go? Our family is here, our life is here, and I can’t imagine ever leaving.
Miguel Ángel—a ranch hand who’s stayed back at the stables to keep everything running smoothly at the house—crests the rise at a bolt on Mulk, a horse who hasn’t run for ten years now. They both look flustered as he yanks on Mulk’s reins.
“What in the world are you doin’, Miguel?”
“Mr. Winchester, you and Colt need to come quick. It’s Lemon.”
“What happened? Is the baby okay?” I shout.<
br />
“West,” Mr. Winchester shouts. “Get this head of cattle through the gate on the north side.”
“We can just herd them back into the west pasture until tomorrow, Pops.”
“No. I need ’em moved today.”
“Okay.” West nods and he glances at me. “I got it. Just go.”
I glance at Mr. Winchester, half expecting him to order me to stay, but I dig my heels into Knievel’s side and take off for the house at a full tilt.
Thirty minutes later, I enter the yard and jump off Knievel. I don’t have time to take off his tack, curry his coat, or hose him down. I tie him to the fence post and run to the house. I yank open the front door and storm in without mucking off my boots—a punishable offence in Mama Winchester’s house.
“Lemon!”
I take the stairs two at a time and burst into her room. It’s empty, but the bright red stain in the middle of her sheets tells me everything I need to know. I holler and slam my fist into the door, leaving a hole in the solid oak wood. “Fuck!”
“Colton!” Mr. Winchester comes up the stairs, panting like he’s just covered 100,000 acres in a sprint and not his horse. “Where is she?”
“Hospital is my guess.”
“Come on, then. I’ll drive.”
“If it’s all the same, sir, I’d rather drive myself.”
“Why? So you can break the speed limit the whole way and end up dying before you get there?”
“I’m afraid, sir.”
“I know it, but you gotta pull yourself together and be strong for her. You understand me?”
I nod, though I don’t feel strong. I feel as if I’m falling apart. Please, God, let my woman and my baby be okay.
I follow Lemon’s daddy down the stairs, my nerves shot to hell. And I climb into his truck, though it takes everything in me not to just drive myself. But I can’t stand the thought of leaving Lemon to do this alone, and forcing my child to grow up without a father.
When we finally get to the hospital, I race inside while Lemon’s daddy finds a park. I’m led upstairs to the maternity ward, and through the viewing window inlaid into the door, I see the love of my life sitting on a bed in a white hospital gown, her normally tanned face almost as pale as the robe she’s wearing. Her mama is talking to a doctor, and I enter the room and rush to Lemon’s side.
“Colt,” she sobs.
“I’m here, darlin’. What happened?”
Mama Winchester excuses herself from her conversation and comes to stand on the opposite side of the bed from me. “Why don’t you come outside and I’ll fill you in.”
“No, don’t leave—” Lemon’s words are abruptly cut off by a sharp gasp, and she clutches her stomach.
“Lemon, what is it?”
“You’re okay, sweetheart,” Mama Winchester says as she rubs Lemon’s back. “Just breathe.”
“Do something!” I yell at the doctor, who looks a little taken aback.
“Sir, we’re doing everything we can. We’re waiting on the OB-GYN to assess Miss Winchester’s sonogram.”
“Lemon?” Mr. Winchester says from the doorway, no doubt feeling the same shock I did at seeing Lemon so defeated.
“Daddy,” she sobs. “It hurts. It hurts so much.”
Her father’s long legs swallow the distance between them, and I move out of the way so he can comfort his daughter. I rub my own arms to ward away the chill. The woman I love is in pain and there’s nothing I can do for her, and my baby’s life is at risk. I know that. I might be a kid preparing to be a dad, but I know bleeding and blinding pain like this ain’t a good thing. We’re losing our baby. I see that now. I just pray to God that I don’t lose them both because I can’t handle a world that doesn’t have Lemon Winchester in it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Lemon
After calling and checking in with Ambrose at the gallery, I spend the day manning the front desk at the B and B. It mostly just consists of playing solitaire on the outdated PC because it’s quiet at this time of year and I already helped Mama clean and restock the cabins yesterday. The door opens and Daisy-Mae Buchannan races in holding her hand over her pregnant belly. “Hi.”
“Well, hi there.”
She sets down her purse, puffs out her cheeks, and her blond bangs go flying. “I’m so sorry you had to fill in for me today.”
“It’s really not a problem. How’s the baby?”
“Just Braxton Hicks, I think. Though it’s still a little early, my doctor doesn’t think this little man is gonna wait for his due date.”
“Wow. That’s … great,” I mutter, and then force a smile I don’t feel. “About the Braxton Hicks, I mean … not the coming early.”
Daisy’s responding smile is tender, and she touches my arm in a compassionate gesture that forces my eyes to prick with tears. “Sorry. I know this must be weird for you, what with your … situation.”
I pull away and grab my phone from the counter, pretending to scroll it absentmindedly before tucking it in the back pocket of my jeans. “Not at all.”
“I never told you this—I guess I just didn’t know what to say—but I was real sorry about your little one.”
Daisy might’ve gone to school with Wade, but she was forever making eyes at my older brother West. Her and I have never been close, though she was sweet to me when a lot of people weren’t. She didn’t talk shit behind my back like some of the other girls from high school, and in Red River Canyon, you don’t forget that kind of loyalty.
“It was a long time ago,” I say quietly.
She gives me a tight smile. “So, are you planning on visiting with Colt? He’s the last cabin on the lot, but I suppose you already know that on account of you spending the night.”
I frown. Oh my God. Did Cash tell everyone about mine and Colt’s sleepover? Rodeo riding seems to have knocked the sense clean out of him, and I’m going to squeeze out any remaining brain cells by ringing his damn neck. News never travels quite as fast or as far as a scandal in a small country town, or even worse … on a ranch.
“No. We’re er …”
“Messy. Oh, I know. It can’t have been easy going through what y’all went through.” Her shoulders deflate. “Still, it’s just so sad that the two of you couldn’t make it work. We all thought you were a done deal—Colton and Lemon forever. You know?”
“Yeah, well. Life doesn’t always go to plan.”
“No, ma’am. It does not.” She smooths a hand over her belly and my eyes follow the movement. It can’t be easy being a single mom in a small town, but being a single mom with a husband who ran off and left you for his secretary? Well, that’s gotta be tough around here.
“I better get back to the house,” I say. “See if Mama needs help with dinner.”
“Of course. Thanks again for covering for me today.”
“No problem. I’ll see you later.” I smile and head for the door.
“Lemon?”
I turn and see Daisy chewing her bottom lip. “He never really dated anyone else. Colton, I mean.”
“Ooo-kay.” I draw out the first syllable for far too long.
“I just thought you should know. My friend Annie tried, but she said it was like he was just going through the motions.”
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this, Daisy-Mae.”
“Because I think some loves are forever, you know?” She glances at her wedding ring and tucks her hand away. “I mean, not all of them, obviously, but … I don’t think he ever fell out of love with you. Plus, he has that big old house that he’s never even spent the night in, and—”
“What big old house?”
“Oh. I … um … I thought you knew about it.” She grimaces and watches my face closely. “But I can see I’ve opened my big mouth when I shouldn’t have.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but I’m pretty sure that Colton Hayes wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire.”
“I don’t believe that.” Daisy
shakes her head. “And I don’t think you do either. Not really.”
I sigh and head toward the door. “Good night, Daisy-Mae.”
“G’night.”
I leave the bed-and-breakfast and close the door. For a moment, I just stand there, trying to ignore her words, and then movement from the cabin at the end of the row catches my eye. Colt stands on his front porch, sipping a beer, his boots crossed at the ankles as he leans his muscular body against the railing. He watches me intently as I walk the paved path toward the cabin.
He doesn’t move, just scrutinizes me with one brow raised as I come closer. “You need somethin’, Lemonade?”
“Why are you livin’ here?”
“What’s that now?”
“Why are you livin’ here?” I say slowly, as if he were hard of hearing. “What happened to your daddy’s house?”
“I sold it when he went into care. Look, I don’t know why you’re ridin’ my ass all of a sudden, but we ain’t together anymore. I’m a free man, so I don’t think I need to tell you anything.”
“I just … it can’t be the money, because the last time I looked at the ranch’s books, we’re making more than enough to cover all of the staff, keep the animals in feed, and build a nice little nest egg for me and my brothers. Which means with the money from your daddy’s house and your salary, you must be doing okay for yourself. So why aren’t you livin’ in town?”
“I like the quiet.” He takes another sip of his beer and arches a brow. “It’s usually very peaceful here.”
“At a bed-and-breakfast?”
He shrugs. “My neighbors are different every week. You know what they say about a change being as good as a holiday. What more could I possibly need?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A nice quiet house that’s all your own.”
Sweet and Wild (Winchester Wild Book 1) Page 10