One Coffin Too Many

by Brendan O'Grady

  “ Strictly speaking, Inspector, we need authorization from Doctor Costello. “

  “ That’s fine. Call him. I know him personally. “

  One of the nurses picked up a phone and dialled a number. She identified herself and described what was happening. She listened intently for a while and then handed the phone to Devoy.

  “ Doctor Costello wants to speak to you, Inspector. “

  Devoy took the phone.

  “ Hello Doctor, sorry to bother you. “

  “ Good morning, Frank. What’s up? “

  “ I need to see a dentist, that’s all. “

  “ Are you sure that’s all? “

  “ I can’t really go into details. It’s a police matter. Something has come up related to the other matter. I have to nip it in the bud if you get me. “

  “ Okay, Frank, I’m going to let you out. I trust you implicitly but you take a taxi there and a taxi back. Is that understood? “

  “ it’s understood, Doctor. “

  “ Okay, then, hand me back to the nurse. She’ll get you a taxi. “

  Devoy handed the phone back. The nurse listened for a while and then ordered a cab.

  “ Be back before noon, Inspector otherwise…”

  Devoy gave her his biggest smile.

  “ it’s a date, nurse. “

  An hour later Devoy sat listening to Dominic Conway behind the louvered doors of a cabinet in Tom Cronin’s office. Conway’s back was to Devoy. On the desk lay a stack of banknotes along with the young reporter’s expensive Nikon. Cronin tried to hide his disgust for Conway. It wasn’t just his behavior – it was his utter contempt for people – a lack of humanity - what he considered to be sociopathic tendancies. But he had to hide his contempt. There was too much at stake here.

  “ So what have you got in mind? “ asked Conway.

  “ I don’t think I can publish them here in this town – it’s too dicey and a lot of people might object. I was thinking maybe I could phone around and try and get a better price. “

  Conway wriggled in his seat as he anticipated the money he was going to make.

  “ That sounds great. I’m sure we’ll both do well out of this. “

  Cronin nodded in agreement.

  “ Just to be on the safe side and to establish the provenance of these photos I have to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind. “

  Conway nodded his head vigorously.

  “ No problem at all. Fire away. “

  “ Right, “ replied Cronin. “ First how did you come to get these pictures? I know you were on call that night and stuck here. So how did it happen? “

  Conway shrugged.

  “ The office phone rang. I picked it up and a voice told me that if I wanted a good story along with some very interesting photos then to go to a certain beach. I thought to myself: this sounds like a scoop, I wonder what we’ve got here. The only problem was I’m not from around here so one beach looks the same in the dark. This flummoxed me so I asked for directions and was given them. “

  “ And did the person identify himself? “

  “ Her. It was a woman not a man. “

  “ I see. Did she identify herself? “

  Conway inclined his head as if he was hearing a stupid question.

  “ You can’t be serious, Mr. Cronin. People like that never identify themselves. “

  “ I have to disagree with you there, Dominic. In my experience they do sometimes if there’s something in it for them. “

  “ I never thought of that. Yeah, there could have been a quid pro quo. Strange that. I’ll have to remember that in the future. “

  Cronin gave him a grin.

  “ That’s what an apprenticeship is all about – a learning curve, Dominic. “

  “ Right, I’ll remember that, Mr. Cronin. Thanks for the tip. “

  “ Don’t mention it. So what happened after that? “

  “ I got a map out and using my phone located the beach pretty quickly. I was on my motor scooter. “

  “ And you found the car right away? “

  “ You couldn’t miss it. It was nearly in the water. The tide was in. “

  “ So what did you do then? “

  “ I hadn’t a notion what the story was about. All sorts of scenarios were running through my mind. Was this a murder or something like that? I tried to look into the car but the windows were fogged up. Then I opened the driver’s door and saw the two bodies on the back seat. I thought they were dead and I panicked. I wanted to call the cops right away. I opened the rear door and saw the two bodies were moving slightly. I was in such a state of shock that I didn’t realize they were naked – the two of them. They were sort of entwined in each other. It was hard to tell who was who. And then it struck me. They were naked. Totally naked. He was on the bottom and she on top. They moaned occasionally so I knew they were alive. I went back to my scooter and got out my torch. I had a good look at them – at their faces and I realized I had something here – a scoop. Here was somebody I really didn’t like – that prick Inspector Devoy and his sidekick Detective Moore and they were out to the world and in compromising circumstances. “

  “ So you took pictures of them? “

  “ Of course I did. Wouldn’t you? That bastard Devoy and his mistress bollock-naked in the back of a car on the beach in the early hours of the morning. I mean, what more could a junior reporter ask for? This was the chance of a lifetime for a junior reporter like me. This is where I’d make my name and who’d believe me in a small town like ours. I mean….”

  “ But surely you considered their well-being, their health. They could have been in danger from exposure. They could even have drowned if the car had been swamped. Surely you gave that some thought? “

  Conway made a face and then laughed.

  “ I did but ambition took over. Besides, Devoy never did me any favours. The way he treated me at the press conference. Moore, I’d nothing against her. Collateral damage. Why should I do him any favours ? If he wants to fuck about on the beach with his mistress then he is open to the same treatment as anybody else in that situation. “

  “ I see. And did you talk to him about this, about what you had - you know to let him know what was at stake here? “

  Conway shrugged.

  “ No, besides, how could I contact him? As far as I could make out he and the woman cop had been taken to hospital. “

  “ But how did you know that? “

  “ Oh, I waited around to see what would happen and sure enough the cops turned up and later an ambulance. I got loads of photos. “

  “ You must have been hidden? “

  “ Of course I was. Do you take me for a fool? “

  “ But you did approach the scene? “

  “ Of course. I pretended I’d just arrived. I asked the cops what was going on and they told me to back off – that there was nothing newsworthy. Just a couple drunk in their car. Fucking cops protecting their own. You know what they’re like. “

  “ So how much do you want for these photos? “

  “ I was thinking a thousand. Yeah, that should do it. A thousand. Nice round figure that. “

  “ That’s an awful lot of money, Dominic. Are you absolutely sure you know what you’re doing? “

  “ Of course I know what I’m doing. I’m selling you a load of photos of two cops having some sort of tryst on the beach and pissed out of their minds. That’s what I’m doing. Isn’t that what investigative journalism is all about? “

  “ Are you aware what might happen if these photos are published? “

  “ Of course. I’d be a name instead of a junior reporter and Devoy and Moore would be in the shit and probably fired. Tough. “

  “ And do you think you could make a living in this country after that? Lots of doors would be closed to you. “

  “ I really don’t give a fuck, Mr. Cronin. Money the name of the game and nobody ever did me any favours. That’s the way it goes. “

  �
�� Well as long as you know what you’re getting into. As your mentor I feel I have to point these things out to you. “

  “ Don’t worry about it, Mr. Cronin. I know what I’m getting into. Let’s talk money now. “

  Cronin counted out four hundred Euros in tens and twenties and placed them in front of Conway.

  The young reporter’s eyes opened avidly as if he’d never seen so much money before.

  “ That’s all I can afford, Dominic. Four hundred. “

  “ Four hundred. For fuck’s sake that’s nothing. I asked for a thousand. They’re worth that at least, Mr. Cronin. “

  Cronin shook his head.

  “ They’re not worth that to me, Dominic. I’m not in the photos. I’ve nothing to lose. You’re screwing the wrong man. “

  Conway’s brow furrowed as he reflected on what Cronin had said.

  “ Are you trying to tell me I’m barking up the wrong tree? “

  Cronin shrugged.

  “ My head isn’t on the block if you get my drift. “

  “ You mean I should go elsewhere? “

  “ That’s for you to decide, Dominic. I may not have the readies but others may have. “

  A smile spread over Conway’s face.

  “ I think I know where this is leading. He who wears the shoe knows where it hurts. Devoy? “

  Cronin nodded but didn’t say a word.

  “ I’d say he’s in the local hospital along with his bitch. I suppose he’s worth a visit. “

  Cronin again shrugged.

  “ What’s the visiting time up there? “

  “ I believe it’s after 6pm. There’s a mini-bus from the town centre on the hour to the hospital. “

  “ Good, “ replied Conway. “ I’ll do that. Thanks for the advice, Mr. Cronin. I’ll see you later. “

  When the door closed after Conway Devoy came out of the cupboard. He went over to Cronin’s desk and sat down nursing his knees.

  “ Jesus, what a prick.” he said. “ I’d love to kick the shit out of him. “

  “ You wouldn’t be the only one, Frank. That young man is disgusting. He has no place being a reporter except perhaps for a gutter magazine. I’d love to get rid of him but my hands are tied. Maybe you have an idea. “

  “ Well you did your level best to draw him out and it worked to some degree. Do you think he’ll go to the hospital to see me? “

  Cronin nodded.

  “ He’s got the smell of money, Frank. He’ll go if only to humiliate you. “

  “ Well in that case I’d better prepare something for him. I’ll keep you informed. “

  Twenty minutes later Devoy walked into the hospital reception area. He was walking past the nurses’ station when he heard his name being called out. Devoy turned and was waved back by one of the nurses.

  “ And how was your visit to the dentist, Inspector? “

  Devoy grinned.

  “ Only a cracked tooth. I’ll live. “

  The nurse reached under the desk and produced a card and a cardboard carton.

  “ These arrived for you when you were out. A Mrs. Margo Walsh deposited them. “

  “ I see, “ said Devoy reaching for the card and box.

  He ripped open the envelope and extracted a sexy get-well card. He recognized right away Margo’s scrawl. The message read:

  Hello lover boy. Long time, no hear. They told me at the station you were detained in hospital. Let me know when you’re getting out. I’ll collect you. Love Margo.

  “ Good news I hope, Inspector. “ asked the nurse.

  “ The best a man could ask for, “ replied Devoy. “ Let’s see what this is, “ he continued, ripping open the box.

  “ Ah, chocolate biscuits, “ he exclaimed. “ My favourite. “

  He was about to wrap the box up when the nurse snatched it from him.

  “ I’m sorry, Inspector. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to eat those before lunch and especially after a visit to the dentist. We’ll hold them for you if you don’t mind. “

  Devoy was about to protest but then decided to hand them over.

  “ Listen, nurse, “ he said. “ I’ve a better idea. Seeing as you are such nice, cooperative ladies why don’t you have them at your coffee break? “

  “ Oh, Inspector, you’re such a gentleman. “

  “ I try to be even when it hurts. “

  Devoy headed off down the corridor to his room. He had until 6pm to put his plan into action.

  At six fifteen the door to Devoy’s room burst open revealing Dominic Conway. Devoy was lying on his bed in his pajamas and dressing gown reading a newspaper with ear buds in his ears attached to his smartphone. He was humming a tune.

  “ Well, well, well, “ exclaimed Conway. “ If it ain’t the great beach boy himself. Detective Inspector Devoy in person, and in bed too, of all places, and on your ownsy. Where’s your little whore now, mister policeman? “

  Conway sniggered.

  Devoy put the newspaper down and took the ear buds out of his ears.

  “ What the fuck are you doing here, Conway? Fuck off out of it before I call security. “

  “ Tut, tut, tut. I don’t think so, Devoy. I have something to show you and security will be the last people you’ll want to call – more like your bank manager. “

  “ My bank manager! What are you on about, Dominic? “

  “ What am I on about? Well for one I want your full attention, Detective Inspector Devoy. Your full attention, ace fucker. “

  Devoy held up his hand.

  “ Wait, let me turn the music off. Then you can explain what you want.”

  Devoy turned towards his smartphone and adjusted the control.

  “ Now, Dominic. Tell me what this is all about. I’m all ears. “

  “ It’s this, “ replied Conway. “ Have a gander at this, cop. “

  Conway leaned forward so that his Nikon was hanging in front of Devoy. He turned the viewing screen so that Devoy could see what was on it. He then pressed a button.

  “ Get a load of that, Inspector. In case you’re forgotten that’s you and Moore after a night shagging on the beach. You’re both out to the world. Obviously pissed out of your minds and perhaps drugged, too. What a picture! What will they make of this down at the station? Huh? Worse what will

  the citizens of this town make of it when it appears in all the papers? You’re in the shit, Devoy – you and your bit of ass, Moore. “

  Devoy watched as the images flicked across the screen trying desperately to hold his anger back. He shook his head in disgust.

  “ You’re a real sick bastard, Conway. How did you get these? “

  “ Never your mind, Inspector. The thing is I have them and they’re for sale to the highest bidder. Do you want to deal or do you want to lose everything you cherish, your job, your reputation etc? What’s it to be, Detective Inspector, sir? “

  “ You’re selling these? Is that it? “

  “ In a nutshell. One thousand Euros will do the job. Cash of course. No trace. That way you and Moore can live happily ever after. “

  “ But where will I get that money so soon? I’m stuck her in hospital. They won’t let me out. “

  “ That’s your problem, Devoy. If you want these pictures then you’ll have to pay for them. “

  “ But that’s blackmail, Dominic. You could go to prison for that. “

  “ And you and Detective Moore could lose your jobs. You’d be lucky to get jobs as security in a whore house after this. What’s it to be? C’mon I haven’t all day. “

  “ How do I know you haven’t got copies elsewhere? “

  “ You’ll have to take my word for it. “

  Conway stood back and switched off the camera.

  “ Viewing time’s over, asshole. “

  Conway switched the camera off.

  “ It’s all in here, Detective Inspector. You and the delightful Detective Moore. Great body if I may say so. You wouldn’t think by looki
ng at her that she’d anything to interest a man. But there you are. With her clothes off it’s another story but you’d know that you dirty old fuck. Which way does she like…?

  Something suddenly occurred to Conway. His brow furrowed. A look of stupefaction came over his face quickly followed by a look of rage. His eyes then flicked from Devoy to the smartphone standing on the bedside locker.

  “ You… you fuck. You’re recording this. I’ll fix you. “

  He reached for the phone but Devoy punched him in the face sending him reeling back against the door. He crashed into it and slid to the floor winded. His eyes opened wide in shock and then his

  nose started cascading blood. He brought his hand up to staunch the bleeding and Sergeant Power took that moment to step out from the closet with his police ID in one hand and a baton in the other.

  “ Police, “ he shouted. “ You’re under arrest. Stay where you are! “

  “ The fuck I am, “ replied Conway getting to his feet. He downed Power with a powerful kick to the crotch who fell to the floor moaning clutching his testicles. Conway delivered another kick to Power’s chest and then ran out into the corridor. Devoy got out of bed and followed him, shouting ‘ police, stop that man’! Visitors and patients dodged out of the way as they perceived a young man with a camera around his neck and his nose gushing blood followed by an older man in his pajamas and dressing gown. Somebody screamed for security. Conway came to the end of the corridor first crashing into the nurses’ station upturning vases of flowers waiting to be delivered to patients before righting himself and heading off in the direction of the entrance. Groups of visitors were standing about and most of them managed to avoid Conway and Devoy as they came careering into the reception area. Conway made it first to the door and ran down the steps. Devoy, fast on his heels was blocked by a security man who tried to drag him down.

  “ Easy there, Mister, “ said the security man.

  “ Get the fuck out of my way, you prick. I’m a cop. “ replied Devoy pushing him away.

  By the time he disentangled himself from the man Conway was reaching the bottom of the steps. He appeared to be heading for the parking area.

  “ Halt, “ shouted Devoy. “ Halt, you’re under arrest. “

  Conway kept running and slowed down a little to give the fingers sign to Devoy.