Bottom line was that Jacob loved Marcus. He wasn’t so sure about forsaking all others just yet.
“Where are we going?” Marcus asked. He stared out the passenger side window while Jacob drove.
“We’re going home,” said Jacob.
“No, where are we going? I don’t want to be your ‘roommate’ anymore.” Marcus kept staring out the window, not looking at Jacob.
Jacob took a deep breath.
“I want to be your boyfriend, your partner, your significant other, and I want to be your only one.”
Jacob didn’t respond, and Marcus went quiet. They drove through streets lined with squat single family houses with toys littering the front yard. They saw U.S. flags and flags they couldn’t immediately identify. The summer sun was setting, and slowly the neighborhood changed from quiet homes to crowded apartment buildings. Nearly every facade bore a rainbow flag. Of course, it had been gay pride today, and they had to drive through the gay neighborhood to get to their apartment downtown. All of a sudden, Marcus yelled out.
“Stop the car!”
“What? Why?”
Marcus kept yelling until Jacob pulled over. Marcus looked at Jacob.
“What?” Jacob blurted.
Marcus cupped Jacob’s face in his hands. He kissed Jacob on the lips and then pulled away.
“I can’t do this anymore,” said Marcus. “I love you too much. I love myself too much.” He flung open the car door and ran.
“Oh shit,” Jacob said as he turned off the car and took the keys out of the ignition. He ran after Marcus yelling his name. Marcus was strong with smooth pec muscles and thighs that could crack walnuts, but Jacob was faster. He was lean and quick. He caught up with Marcus a few blocks off the main gay strip that they had been driving down. They could hear the occasional prideful whoop and holler, but, for the most part, the spot where Jacob caught up with Marcus was quiet and isolated.
“Marcus, wait!”
Marcus turned to face Jacob. Sweat covered his brow. “I’ve been waiting, Jacob. I’ve been waiting for you to come out. I’ve been waiting for you to say to someone besides me that I am your boyfriend. I’ve been waiting for you to be at least willing to discuss monogamy. I’m tired of waiting.”
Jacob would think after the fact that he should have heard the footsteps. He should have heard the first time the men who attacked them call them, “cocksucking faggots.” Gay pride events were bigger and more common than ever, but they were also easy targets for gay bashers looking for queers who had strayed from the party. He was too busy staring into Marcus’ eyes trying to figure out what to say. He wanted to stay with him. He didn’t want their relationship to end like this. It seemed like Marcus had seen them but didn’t know what to do.
Jacob felt a kick at the back of his knee, and he went down on all fours. He felt gravel dig into his hands and knees. Then someone hit his head. He heard voices and looked up to see someone punching Marcus. Jacob had no idea what to do. He didn’t know how to fight. He’d never been in a fight before. The one time he had been mugged, he just gave the guys his wallet and everyone walked away. He was poorer, but everyone was uninjured. He did the only things he could do. He tried to protect himself from the blows, and he prayed. Then he remembered Great Uncle Saul’s advice from earlier that day. He didn’t believe in the Golem, but he started yelling his name.
The gentle breeze that had been stirring got stronger every time Jacob said the word, Golem. Dirt and rocks started to swirl around them. The dirt started to draw in water, whatever was nearby. It sucked up a tiny puddle left over from a small rainfall the day before. It emptied a nearby bird bath. There was a crack of thunder, even though the sky was clear. The guys who had been hitting Jacob and Marcus stopped. The dirt got so thick that Jacob couldn’t see anything.
“Marcus!” he yelled.
And slowly the wind calmed down and the dirt settled. He looked up and saw Marcus standing there alone. The men who had been beating them were gone. Jacob didn’t know where. It looked like there was going to be quite the bruise on Marcus’ cheek. And next to Marcus was a man, but not just any man. He towered over Marcus by a couple of feet. His arms and legs were thick and shapeless. His face had tiny specks marking what might have been eyes, a nose and a mouth on anyone else. His most distinctive marking were Hebrew letters spelling out the word “truth” on his forehead. He was the suggestion of a man, and Jacob recognized him from drawings in picture books and the tales told around summer camp bonfires. This suggestion of a man was the Golem.
“I’m here, Jacob,” Marcus said. He helped Jacob up while the Golem stood there. “Damn! Is that the Golem dude your Uncle Saul told you about? I didn’t think he was supposed to be real, but he chased those guys off.”
Before Jacob could answer, the Golem started moving toward them. They inched away. Jacob didn’t know what he was supposed to do. The Golem had saved their lives, but Jacob was scared. He knew he was supposed to set the Golem free. According to legend and campfire tales, bad things happened to people who called the Golem and didn’t set him free. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to attempt that now or even what he had to do to set him free. The Golem grabbed them both. With one of them under each arm, the Golem ran, and he ran fast. He sped through the city like they were on a high speed train. The world around them moved past them in a blur. People looked like they were standing still.
In some ways, Jacob thought it made sense. If this was the Golem that drove off marauders in the 17th century and carried his ancestors to safety, Jacob guessed that he was now doing the same for him and Marcus. The Golem finally stopped in a field. Jacob suspected it was a forest preserve on the Northwest side of the city where he had met some tricks in the past, but the sun had nearly completely set. It was dark with just a little illumination from nearby streetlights. He wasn’t really sure where they were.
Jacob and Marcus lay on the grass trying to catch their breath, and the Golem started to shake. He was vibrating like a washing machine during the spin cycle. It created a roar that reverberated through the earth. Marcus put his arm around Jacob. Bits of dirt started to fall away, and the Golem was no longer shapeless. First his face was revealed. He still had the Hebrew word for truth carved into his forehead. His head was bald, but the falling dirt revealed deeply set blue eyes, full lips and a square jaw. The Golem’s skin was still grey like the dirt and dust from which he had been made, but he now looked like a man with muscles. A rather large penis emerged from his groin.
This was the man who had saved their lives, thought Jacob. What did he want? The Golem lowered his lips and kissed Jacob and Marcus. He tasted like, well, dirt. His lips were soft but grainy, and Jacob started to realize what Great Uncle Saul meant when he had said that the Golem liked “men like us.” The family Golem was gay. Like the legend, he was voiceless. He couldn’t even grunt, but he could kiss. Jacob wondered what else he could do and what else he would want to do.
****
When Marcus felt a fist crashing into his jaw, he thought, Brilliant. This is like the rancid mayonnaise on the shit sandwich that has been my day. It was such a surreal thing, being attacked, that whatever fear he felt didn’t really register. He didn’t feel pain really, although he figured at least one of his teeth had been knocked loose. The day had started badly with a continuation of what seemed like a never-ending argument with Jacob. He loved Jacob. He especially loved his jet black curly hair and, in particular, the jet black curly hair on his chest. Jacob had been endowed with some luxuriant hair, but he had missed out on getting courage. Marcus’ older sister, Charice, had lately taken to referring to Jacob as the Cowardly Lion. She was as exasperated with Jacob as Marcus was. But Marcus had thought she was going too far, until today.
They had been together for four years. Was it really too much to ask to be introduced to people as his boyfriend? He hated the fact that so many of the most important people in Jacob’s life knew him only as Jacob’s roommate. He felt trivialized. And he
wanted them to at least discuss monogamy. Marcus was okay with Jacob messing around a little bit, but there were some things that Marcus wanted reserved for just the two of them. Charice was more and more skeptical about the viability of their relationship. She told Marcus that she found it hard to like Jacob because of his reluctance to come out. Only just turned 30 and already married once and divorced, Charice liked to adopt a worldly-wise attitude with Marcus, and Marcus let her.
“Well, the sex better be damn good for you to put up with his cowardly crap,” she had said a few days ago when they had met for lunch.
Marcus had cleared his throat and pursed his lips like he had just sucked a lemon.
Charice’s eyes had widened. “You’re not even having sex with him?”
“Sure, we do, well no. We haven’t in a while,” he had said.
“Damn, Little M! So what are you going to do? From where I sit, it looks you’ve come to a fork in the road. Which way are you going to go?”
Marcus had shrugged. He really didn’t know.
And then today they went to yet another Edelman family party. Jacob’s family always seemed like a modernized version of Fiddler on the Roof combined with some crappy 1980s sitcom. They always made Marcus laugh, and they liked him. But he found that he was increasingly uncomfortable around them because of Jacob’s reluctance to be honest with them about the nature of their relationship. The lie about their relationship had permeated Edelman family lore such that whenever Marcus encountered an Edelman relative or friend he hadn’t met before, the family, including Jacob, always introduced Marcus as Jacob’s roommate.
This unfortunate byproduct of the original lie became a comic set piece at an Edelman family gathering a few months ago when Marcus was introduced no less than half a dozen times as Jacob’s roommate to a relative with short-term memory issues. Marcus took to ducking behind doors, into bathrooms and, at one point, behind a large hydrangea every time the befuddled old dear shuffled by. More infuriating than all of that for Marcus was Jacob’s seeming inability to understand how corrosive this lie was to their relationship.
He couldn’t remember whom he had heard it from, but on the drive home, Marcus had never believed more sincerely the notion that the people who hurt you most are the ones you love. Perhaps running from the car wasn’t the most mature thing to do, but Marcus thought that a little dramatic immaturity on his part was just the thing needed to get the attention of his immature boyfriend. Then the gay bashers surrounded them. Jacob didn’t even seem to notice. He was so stuck trying to figure out what to say. That word seemed so apt. Jacob was stuck. Marcus was sick of being stuck with him.
Marcus had gotten hit several times, including in the face. Unlike Jacob, though, Marcus had been in a few fights before. He had been a scrawny kid, easily picked on, so an ex-boxer uncle had taught him how to box. He managed to land a couple of good jabs at one of the gay bashers once he found his footing. He got a quick punch in at the other guy’s nose when he noticed the wind had picked up. Dirt swirled everywhere. Some got in his eyes. He squinted and rubbed his eyes with the back of one of his hands. He spat out some blood. He heard one of the gay bashers yell, “What the fuck?!”
He heard Jacob start to yell. Marcus still wasn’t sure what he was seeing, although he could make out one of the gay bashers running away from the swirling dirt and toward him. He stuck out his foot. The gay basher tripped, stumbled and rolled like a drunk circus acrobat. He got up and kept running, shouting, “Fuck off, faggot!” His accomplice was well ahead of him.
The wind picked up, and a giant shapeless man made of dirt, rocks and clay appeared. Marcus guessed that the shapeless man was the Golem that wasn’t supposed to exist, but there he was. Marcus made his way over to Jacob and helped him up. Marcus thought the Golem, if that giant clay figure really was a Golem, had done what he was summoned to do: scare off the gay bashers. He’d have to remember to thank him after he made sure that Jacob was all right. He wondered how he would thank a Jewish mystical creature. He thought perhaps he should let Jacob take the lead on this. He helped Jacob brush off his clothes, and suddenly the Golem had grabbed both of them. Of course the Golem did, because that’s the kind of day this has been, Marcus thought as the Golem had carried them away.
But wait. It got weirder. If Marcus had ever gotten around to making a bucket list, kissing a Golem would not have been on it. It, or he, kissed Marcus and Jacob in turn. He didn’t speak. He didn’t even open his mouth, but the mixture of fear and relief was turning on Marcus. His dick was hardening and starting to press against his jeans.
Marcus reached over to Jacob’s crotch and felt his bulge. Jacob was getting turned on as well. The Golem pulled away and motioned for Jacob and Marcus to kiss each other. Marcus looked in Jacob’s eyes. He remembered how he used to get lost in the depth of Jacob’s hazel-colored eyes. To Marcus, they were kaleidoscopic with a few specks of green in the irises — a flaw in the iris, Jacob had told him once. Maybe the Golem had cast a spell because Marcus was starting to remember how it felt to be in love with Jacob. He kissed him, and it felt like the first time, like that night at the college town gay bar.
Marcus had been dancing on a speaker when he spotted Jacob on the dance floor. He was so cute, and he really knew how to dance. Without a second thought, Marcus had gotten down from the speaker to make out with him on the dance floor and then in a dark corner that smelled of old beer and cigarette smoke. Marcus smiled at the memory of that first night he spent with Jacob, such fantastic sex. They had explored each other’s bodies after they had blunted the edges of their desire for each other that night. He had a sudden and fond memory of seeing the cluster of black hair around Jacob’s belly button for the first time.
They hadn’t had great sex in a while. They were fighting too much for that.
Jacob’s lips opened and allowed in Marcus’ tongue. Marcus wrapped his arms around Jacob. Marcus wanted him. He wanted him more than he had wanted him in months. They would work things out at some point, but, right now, Marcus just wanted Jacob to hold him and to fuck him. He could feel the Golem’s hand rubbing up and down his back. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t the warm temperature of human skin. Marcus felt like he was being rubbed by a really beautiful mud puddle. When the Golem had first kissed him, Marcus thought that this mystical, giant man had felt dry. Now, the Golem felt soft and wet, like children’s putty or newly fallen leaves in autumn just after a rainstorm. He smelled like a rainstorm too.
Marcus reached over and unzipped Jacob’s pants. He moved his hands up to unbutton Jacob’s shirt, which opened to reveal a tight white tank top. Marcus rubbed his hands up and down the cotton as they kept kissing. Jacob’s lips were so soft and warm. Marcus pulled off Jacob’s shirt, letting it land on the ground. Then the tank top came off. Marcus rubbed his hands all over Jacob’s chest and ran his fingers through his chest hair. Jacob’s nipples were hard, and he moaned every time Marcus’ hands came anywhere near them. Marcus took off his own shirt and threw it on top of Jacob’s. He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. Then he looked up. They were sitting at the Golem’s feet, and the Golem was standing over them with a giant erection.
Marcus started running his tongue up and down the Golem’s dick, and Jacob quickly joined him. The Golem no longer tasted of dirt. He tasted sweet. They took turns at each end. One moment, Jacob would try to gobble the Golem’s balls and circle the base of his penis with his tongue. Marcus would be at the other end trying to take as much of the Golem’s cock into his mouth. Then they would switch places. Then they would kiss before returning to the Golem’s giant cock once more.
The Golem didn’t speak, but he seemed to appreciate what they were doing. They ran their hands up and down his muscular thighs as they worked over his cock until it was wet with saliva and glistened in the moonlight. Marcus was so hungry for it. He and Jacob had been fighting for so long. It wasn’t just that they hadn’t had great sex in a while. The truth was that they weren’t having sex at all.
“Hey, Jacob,” said Marcus interrupting his boyfriend’s worship of the Golem’s cock. “I want you to fuck me, and I want the Golem to watch.”
The Golem stood there with a big smile as Jacob got up and took off his jeans, underwear, socks and shoes. Marcus did the same and positioned himself so he was standing facing a tree. He placed his hands on the tree’s trunk in order to brace himself. The grass felt soft and moist under his feet. The soft breeze tickled his ass. He could hear traffic, most likely from a nearby road, but it seemed so far away. His hard-on was just brushing against the tree’s bark. He looked back at Jacob. He really was so handsome. His smile was just so slightly lopsided. His hazel eyes were wide-set. His end-of-the-day beard shadow was just starting to appear.
And behind Jacob stood the Golem, forever silent. He had his hand on his own dick, but he was still. He seemed to be waiting.
Jacob took a few steps closer to Marcus. They had no lube. They had no condoms, although they hadn’t used those in a couple of years. This was going to be sex at its most raw. Jacob pressed his chest against Marcus’ back and his dick against Marcus’ ass crack. Marcus closed his eyes. He could hear Jacob breathing next to his right ear. Then Jacob kissed Marcus’ neck. Jacob’s hands wrapped around Marcus’ torso to reach his nipples. Now it was Marcus’ turn to moan.
Kissing the Golem Page 2