He felt faint and almost fell back as the teen resisted. Jeff’s intention was to hold him down and pin him to the ground. But even after putting his full weight on the creature’s neck and snapping the bones beneath his foot, there was still some fight left in the ghoul.
“I’m tired. I’m just so … tired.” He shook his head. “I can’t do this anymore … I-”
Jeff stumbled back and tripped over his own sluggish feet. He felt weak, disoriented. As he slammed into the pavement, the flash of pain that flared through his back jolted him, and he bit down hard on his tongue. As his mouth filled with blood and his eyes blurred with tears, he wailed in despair at the loss of his family.
As he curled into a ball and wept, Jeff didn’t see George and the others watching him.
*
He jumped when Ben put a hand on his shoulder. It was a gentle gesture accompanied by a slight squeeze. The big man had already finished the job Jeff had started of dispatching the teen, while George and Jason tended to Megan and Sadie. Ben helped Jeff to his feet and made sure he could stand. The nearly broken man’s wailing had ended, and while he seemed withdrawn, Jeff was able to stay on his feet as he stared down at Joey and Nathan’s mangled bodies.
Ben’s arrival had helped George make quick work of the stiffs they had been facing, his knife and George’s two by four cutting them down quickly. When they’d turned to help Jeff, they, along with Jason, were horrified to see what had happened to Nathan and Joey, but were even more shocked to see the way Jeff was grimly dealing with the creatures that had mauled the children. When they realized Lydia was one of the obscenities he had executed, they were stunned beyond words.
George looked over at Ben, his eyes stricken. Ben’s face had lost its confident aura. Their savior looked just as scared and shattered as the rest of them, as if all of this were too much to take. Ben had already backed away from Jeff, as if he were afraid to stay close to him for very long.
Megan, still clutching Sadie, fell into George’s arms. After a few seconds, he gave her a quick squeeze and left her with Jason, who touched her and Sadie in turn, still finding it hard to believe they had made it. The twelve year old wrapped his arm around Megan and held the two females close. George moved to Ben to talk privately with him.
“What do we do now?” he whispered as he looked around the area. The bodies had piled up, and while they’d done away with the ghouls in the immediate area, it probably wouldn’t take long before the crowd from the donut shop tracked them down. Distant moans and screams left no doubt that there were other infected on the march, coming for them from all over town. They probably had only a few minutes before they were swimming in the undead once again.
George could see the beads of sweat on Ben’s brow and the sad, faint look of despair in his eyes. Despite everything the warrior had done to keep as many of them alive as possible, it was clear he wasn’t feeling like much of a hero.
After taking a few moments to compose himself, Ben spoke. “We can go about two blocks down and hole up for a bit in a building I know is safe.” He glanced at Jeff and then Megan before moving closer to George and speaking in a hushed voice. “Do you think the others will be okay?”
“I’m fine,” Megan blurted out, her head popping up from where it had been buried in Jason’s shoulder. She looked at Ben, her face drawn but those luminescent blue eyes of hers still coherent and clear as she spoke. Her jaw was set, and while she looked like hell, he could sense that the quietly resolute woman had not bottomed out quite yet. She shifted Sadie to her other shoulder as he nodded at her.
“Well then, I guess we better get moving,” he said as he looked back at George.
“They’re going to get back up.”
Ben’s back stiffened as he turned to Jeff. Everyone else’s eyes were drawn to the haggard man as well.
“They always do.”
The words were haunted, full of despair. Ben couldn’t think of a response, and apparently George couldn’t either. The two men stood side by side, like statues, as Jeff gazed down at the two boys.
“We need to take care of them.” Though Jeff’s words were full of desolation, they were steady. “We can’t let them get back up.”
Megan’s face was a mask of horror as she tried to remove Sadie’s clinging hands.
“No!” The word echoed around them, much louder than Jeff’s whispered statement. All eyes were on Megan as she managed to free herself from the little girl and walked toward Jeff. “We can’t do that to them! Are you insane?”
No one else spoke as she moved in on Jeff. “I am not going to let you … do whatever it is you want to do to those poor children.” She reached out and shoved him as her voice became a high-pitched squeal. “They’re already dead, Jeff! What more do you want from them?”
She launched herself at Jeff, slapping and beating at him. He did nothing to avoid the blows as she continued screaming.
“Enough!” The deep voice startled Megan, and she turned to look at Ben. “We have to get out of here. Now! We don’t have time for this bickering. Not if you want to live!”
“Ben, we can’t do this to them. They’ve already endured so much pain …” She fell into Ben’s arms and pressed her face against his chest. A few seconds later, she pounded on him with her tiny fists. “It isn’t fair! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!”
Picking Megan up, Ben turned to face Jeff. She squirmed in his massive arms for a few seconds and then settled. There was little she could do to fight the big man, and she was far too tired to keep trying.
“I’m sorry.” Jeff reached out to touch her. She cringed away from him at first, but as he reached for her again and continued speaking, Megan stopped resisting. He looked up at the darkening sky and shook his head, his breathing slow and labored. “I wish I could have said that to my wife and kids before they died … that I was sorry.”
Megan turned to look at him, confused. Jeff had never mentioned his wife or family before. Curiosity overrode her anger as she waited for him to continue.
“I would have told them how sorry I was for the things I did, the mistakes I’ve made.” His eyes closed tightly as he punched at his leg repeatedly. “I’m sorry I left them alone. I’m sorry … I’m sorry I screwed up.” Jeff’s eyes popped open. The look on Megan’s face reflected the horror he felt.
“I killed my wife and children, Megan.”
Her eyes widened as she shook her head in disbelief. She didn’t understand.
“I left them. God! I can’t believe I left them to go out and find food and water. But we were starving. It had been six fucking weeks! I counted the days on the calendar. Everyone else had turned into those things. All of our neighbors, everyone we knew. I didn’t know what else to do.
“We were trapped in there. All that god-awful time. My daughter was a basket case. Ellen … she was the one holding us together.” A quivering smile crossed his lips. “She always was the strong one. It was deep down … something you couldn’t always see, but it was there. She knew how to calm Mary down, even when she couldn’t stand the screams anymore. God, the screams … the moans. It was driving us mad.
“My son … he was only five for Christ’s sake! How do you keep a five year old from going completely nuts under those circumstances? All he wanted to do was to help his dad. That’s all! Mary was inconsolable. She was almost catatonic. Ellen couldn’t watch the both of them, and I knew it. But I still left … just so I could go find some goddamned food.”
Ben let go of Megan, and she stood there, eyes wide as she watched Jeff tell his story. The others stared at him as well, adults and children alike. They were all mesmerized.
“When I came back, the door was unlocked. I knew I had locked it; I was sure I did. But it was unlocked … and there was blood on it.”
Jeff’s distant eyes grew hard, and his back stiffened. The shame on his face was harsh, relentless. He looked at everyone, but no one could return his gaze. George, the only one with whom he had shared his s
tory before today, looked ready to bolt, but his feet remained in place as he relived the agony of Jeff’s tale.
“My neighbor Mark attacked my wife. She was lying on our garage floor when I came back, and he was … doing things to her …” Jeff paused as memories of that moment flooded back into his mind. He blotted them out and forced himself to continue.
“I took care of him, but there were others … They had gotten inside and went after my kids.”
A small moan escaped from Megan’s throat as she shook her head even more furiously at Jeff, willing him to stop. She shoved her fist into her mouth to muffle the scream creeping up from her gut.
“I rushed through the house, but I was too late. So I dealt with the others that had invaded my home.” He stepped closer to Megan. “But my children, my sweet angel Mary and my little Frankie … they had already changed.
“I couldn’t just leave them there, Megan. I had to …” The tears rolled down his face as his voice broke. “They were my children! I loved them! I loved my wife. But I messed everything up. It was the only thing I could do for them. Give them peace. I couldn’t let them stay like that. I couldn’t!”
Megan rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Jeff. She tried to pull him tight, to cradle his head. She was willing to do almost anything to get him to stop speaking, to stop telling her these horrible things, but he grabbed her arms and gently pushed her back until he was looking into her eyes again.
“So I can’t let Joey and Nathan suffer either.”
Megan stiffened, realizing why he had told her all of this. She looked at Jeff, unable to think of anything to say. As she tried to move back into his arms, he resisted, holding her away. She wanted to comfort him, but his eyes were set. He was going to do this whether she wanted him to or not.
Her shoulders slumped, and after a moment, she nodded. It was the only blessing she could give. As she pulled away, Jeff let her go, watching as she walked to Jason and Sadie.
His eyes stayed on her for a moment longer, and then he looked at the other two men. George could barely make eye contact, still unable to grasp what Jeff had gone through with his family, even after hearing the story for the second time.
Ben had no such reservations. He wasn’t certain, but he thought he had seen Nathan twitch. He knew what Jeff said was true. As the virus took control, the two boys would rise back up with no memory of who they were or of the people who had loved and cared for them. All they would know was hunger.
As he moved past Jeff, he whispered, “Make it quick.”
Scooping up Sadie, Ben took a clean rag out of one of his many pockets and began wiping her off. He examined her for scratches and then gave her a small peck on the cheek. The five year old smiled up at him, happy to see Uncle Ben again as she snuggled into his arms.
The others followed as the bearded man waved them forward. George fell in line behind them as they moved down the street. Jeff remained, alone. Ben didn’t bother telling him where they were going. He was expected to finish his task and catch up before the group was out of sight.
Jeff looked up into the sky and spotted a sliver of the moon. It was dusk and would be dark soon. He took a deep breath and looked at the two boys.
“Please forgive me.”
He gripped the two by four George had left behind in both hands and moved toward Nathan, whose eyes were starting to open.
Chapter 21
It was almost nine o’clock, and darkness was finally closing in on the summer day when they made it to the building to which Ben had been leading them. Jeff caught up about half a block from where he left the boys. He hadn’t taken long.
They only stayed in the building for a short time while Ben scouted ahead. No one spoke as they all slumped to the ground or leaned against shelves full of albums and compact discs in the used record store. The small, free-standing building was steeped in darkness due to the blacked-out front windows. The building had escaped much of the disaster that had befallen Manchester, with the old vinyl, cassettes, and CDs still nicely organized and all in place in the dusty aisles. Ben worked his way through the racks with relative ease despite the limited light.
Jeff gazed at the rest of the group as he leaned against a rack of old forty-fives and tried to come to grips with the fact that so many people had died that day. He overheard Jason whispering to George about the insurance office in which they’d hidden out, what happened to Teddy, and how Lydia had saved Megan from Cindy. Hearing Lydia’s name stung Jeff as a vision of what he had done to her flashed through his mind.
Jason returned Jeff’s weak smile when the boy looked his way and cradled his swollen elbow to his chest. The kid was in pain, but seemed to be in good spirits as he sat next to George and the two of them whispered back and forth. Megan was more withdrawn as she held Sadie in her arms and ran her fingers through the girl’s hair, though she seemed at peace.
Everyone looked up as Ben reappeared through the front door minutes later, closing it quietly as he turned to face the group.
“Okay, folks, let’s head out. It’s clear out front but won’t be for long. Come on!”
Ben looked as pale and distraught as the rest of them. It did not reconcile with the quiet confidence the scout normally exuded. Jeff remembered the wink the man had given him when they first met and doubted he would be seeing another anytime soon.
Ben snapped his fingers a couple of times, breaking the deep trance that seemed to have settled over everyone. They were all wrung out and exhausted, but responded quickly enough as he gestured for them to follow. George reached over and helped Megan up, offering to carry the little girl. She smiled and shook her head as Sadie shifted in her arms so that her head lay on Megan’s shoulder. Jeff wanted to speak to Megan, but couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t push her even further away. He walked in silence behind the others as they left the record shop behind.
They spent the next hour and a half squirming through dark holes and creeping down back alleyways. Ben forced them to stop several times, his hand held up like a traffic cop. The sounds around them came and went as they wound their way through the town. The huddled group shifted closer to and then farther from the pockets of ghouls now wandering aimlessly after having lost track of anything that might lead them to food. None of Ben’s followers knew the town very well, and in the moonlight, they were even less sure of themselves. They relied on him, despite the fact that on more than one occasion he took them in one direction then stopped sharply, listened for a moment, and executed a one-eighty to lead them down a different path. No one seemed interested in complaining as long as he continued to keep them safe.
They slid into several more anonymous buildings, the smell always dry and musty, with a hint of the same slaughterhouse funk that floated over the streets. Despite the near-pitch-black conditions inside each of the short-term shelters, Ben navigated his way through them efficiently.
It was obvious he’d previously been in at least some of the stopovers when he pulled out a backpack full of bottled water and snack crackers wedged behind a stack of chairs in a family restaurant. The crackers were chewy and stale and the water warm, but a feast of caviar and Dom Perignon would not have been better received by the group.
“How much longer are we going to be wandering around this shit hole?” Jason piped up between gulps of water.
Only small fingers of starlight showed through the gaps in the tarp that had been nailed over the plate glass windows. Everyone had adjusted to the gloom as Ben looked out the window closest to the door. The other adults waited for a response to the boy’s question. Bullets of sweat poured down Ben’s face as the light cast weird shadows across his visage.
“I mean, can’t we just crash here for the night and get moving again in the morning? I don’t see any reason for us to keep taking risks going outside and all.”
Sadie had been awakened to eat, and she looked at Jason through droopy eyelids. His voice wasn’t angry, although his eyes were weary with dim traces of fe
ar. Everyone except the little girl watched and waited for Ben’s response as he continued looking out the window. Sadie slid across the floor until she was next to Jason. He caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye and looked down. She smiled and slid her tiny hand into his. He tensed as if he were going to resist her gentle offering, but then smiled back. The girl was filthy, covered with the debris of war, but her eyes drew him in, reassuring him. He gave her hand a squeeze as he looked at their guide.
The moments ticked by, and there was no answer. The other adults waited patiently for any kind of response from Ben, afraid to break his concentration or interrupt whatever strategies for their survival he was formulating in his head.
Ben let the tarp fall back over the window before turning to face the group. He had their undivided attention.
“We only have a little bit farther to go.” Ben raised a hand to stop the protest he saw forming on several people’s lips. “I know you’re tired, but we’re still in danger.” He glanced at everyone in turn as he rubbed at his wrist nervously and wiped the sweat from his brow.
“Look, you just have to trust me for a little while longer. Do you think you can do that?”
When no one mounted a protest, Ben appeared to breathe a sigh of relief. Megan and Jason didn’t look thrilled while George and Jeff seemed content to let Ben remain the group’s designated leader for the time being.
After a couple more minutes, Ben motioned for them to stand up. Legs ached and knees popped, but there was no further protest as he led them back out onto the street.
Chapter 22
The brown, runty building to which they moved next housed several different businesses. They were in a chiropractor’s office, having come through the rear entrance. Something about the road they were on seemed familiar to Jeff, though it was hard to pin down. It seemed as though the paltry group of refugees had been running through the entire town all day, and Jeff, like everyone else, had kept his eyes glued to Ben’s broad shoulders instead of looking up at any street signs. They had left the asphalt fifteen minutes before and traveled alongside a set of railroad tracks. Ben had spun them around several times during their journey, but it was easy to surmise that they were gradually moving farther out from the center of town.
The Dark Trilogy Page 48