by Tim Hawken
“Michael, I…” Lotte started to say, but the words died in her mouth. Her eyes went wide as she focused on something behind me. “No,” she choked instead.
Her reaction made me turn. A speck of light was forming inside the void. It was turning from inside out, gathering brightness by split seconds. It came from nowhere. No elements were used to build it. It was a power of its own, growing from within. A horrible voice whispered all around us.
I created myself from nothing, you fools, it said, I will not be subdued so easily.
I froze in shock as the light built into a brilliant white ball. It began to streak toward us, gathering speed to attack. My only thought was to put myself between it and Charlotte to protect her. Stepping forward, I lifted my arms to meet the light, but hands at my back shoved me sideways. No, Lotte! I thought as I stumbled and fell. My love had pushed me away. As my back hit earth, I looked up, just as the white soul of Asmodeus pierced inside Charlotte. It disappeared within and a gut-wrenching scream issued from my wife’s lips. The nightmare had just come true.
TWENTY-FIVE
CHARLOTTE’S BODY CRUMPLED as the soul of Asmodeus possessed her.
“No!” I leapt to my feet. The single word repeated itself in my head over and over.
Hopelessness wracked my spirit. This couldn’t be happening. I wouldn’t let it. My wife collapsed on the ground, shrieking and raking her nails against her face, trying to eviscerate the evil that had just entered her. She went mad, tearing at her hair, rolling and writhing in agony. In desperation I lunged at Charlotte, holding her down. Using my elemental will to search inside her, I grasped to rip out the corruption of Asmodeus. My hands fumbled over her body as I worked, but it was no use. This wasn’t a normal soul possessing her; it was the ultimate power of a god who had spawned his own existence. I could see his white light totally envelope Lotte. It was becoming one with her soul, fusing its hatred inside her love. The toxicity of his spirit was infecting everything that made her who she was. In grief and impotence I held her, but then her hand reached up and lashed out at my face, scratching me. The action jolted me to look into her eyes, which were now full of an odium that repelled me totally.
“She is mine now,” the mouth of Lotte spat in a gurgle of wickedness.
Again her hand reached up to scour across my face, but I fell back, pushing myself clear. I stood, stumbling backwards in pure horror. Asmodeus had taken ownership of Lotte. I could still see her life force struggling against his, but it was losing and I was powerless to help.
The vision of Phineus came alive around me: the prophecy I had known would come true, but refused to accept. My love struggled on one knee almost a full body length away from me, breathless with exhaustion, holding her hands on the ground to keep upright. Beads of sweat pearled on her face. I stood watching her, not going to her side. Howling winds of power thrashed above us and below, in Germaine’s atmosphere, yet where we were was calm. Charlotte struggled to her feet in front of me, her face twisting with the effort. She swayed, trying to gain her balance and then firmed, looking up at me with hate in her eyes. I stepped backwards slightly with the revulsion of her gaze. She looked around quickly, searching for some elements to use against me, before staring back again. This is Asmodeus, I told myself. She braced her legs as if to pounce, her lip curling in a snarl. I watched her closely, waiting for her to strike, but she wavered. Her body wobbled again and the sneer fell momentarily. The hate in her eyes turned abruptly to a look of pleading. My wife was back for a flickering instant. My breaking heart bled out compassion towards her. I wanted to help, but anything I could do would kill her. Asmodeus was part of her being. I struggled within myself to fight for a solution, but not even my instinct answered the call. Lotte’s lips moved, but let out no sound.
Help me.
I turned hard inside. All love left my body and was replaced with vengeful anger. He would not have her. I would rather she died than live possessed forever by that devil. It was the only way. I took a step towards her and Lotte recoiled. If I could create dark matter again, I could end her pain. There was no use resisting fate any longer. Pushing my hands out in front of me in a wedge, I strained with effort, every muscle in my arms bulging. My hand slipped forward and the sound of the universe tearing once again split the air. On one side of my fists, new elements were born into existence. On the other side, anti-matter sprang awake in its guttering death. The body of Charlotte turned to run, spinning on her heels. It was too late. He wouldn’t have her. Before she had barely taken a step, I had wrapped the darkness into a ball and hurled it towards her soul. As the hideous attack struck, her skin dissolved around her. All sense of anything that had made Lotte my love melted before my eyes. Her material nature bled away. Her soul disintegrated into the atmosphere of nothingness around us. The dark matter ate away at her being, until not even a speck of an element was left. I stood looking at the space that had once contained the body of the woman I loved. A resentful tear slid down my face. My Charlotte was gone and there was no coming back. She wasn’t like Asmodeus. She hadn’t created her own consciousness. Lotte had been born of this world and now had returned to the darkness behind it. There was no return from the oblivion in which she rested. I fell to my knees in soul-crushing despair. My life was now worthless. Asmodeus had beaten me. At least Charlotte was free. She had once said she would rather die than exist without me. I had granted her that wish. I was glad she wasn’t here to see what I knew would happen next: my utter failure.
I didn’t even open my eyes. I just waited for the feeling to take hold. The air grew warm around me as I felt the indestructible soul of Asmodeus reform. There was no way to kill the unkillable. No way to outsmart the all-knowing. It was over. His cursed whispering started as soon as his form seeped through my skin. He wormed himself through me, bonding me with his sordid essence. I didn’t fight it.
My son. His smug voice sang disgusting noise through my brain. You tried so hard. You fought so bravely and it was all for this? You could have at least let your true love live on. You could have learned to let me rule Heaven as her. You would have had eternity to heal the pain of it. I would have given you Hell.
I didn’t answer. There was nothing left to say. All existence was meaningless. Utterly meaningless. Good did not triumph. The hero didn’t win. The innocent were murdered for no good reason. Life as Asmodeus had made it was something I would be glad to relinquish, if I could. But now I was trapped within myself. I could feel his thorny soul attaching to me, digging its spikes right through every part of my soul. I truly would be his puppet.
I’m glad I have this body, though, Asmodeus went on in his noxious whisper. He made me stand up, flexing his new ethereal body and making me dance. Charlotte was beautiful, but you have more animal strength. I will be able to make this body impervious to anything. Who knows, I might even go down to Hell and tell them I, Michael, won. Why would they doubt it? He walked right to the edge of the cliff and looked over. Yes, I like that idea. It will be amusing. I will be the perfect actor, so sad that my lovely Lotte had been destroyed in the process. Oh, but Mary will be there to comfort me. She will give her body to me. Her nakedness will ease my pain. You can enjoy it too, my son, I will let you watch from within.
Even this torment didn’t spark anger in me. I was beyond caring. There was no use in resisting. All that brought was more suffering. He dug in further, deeper and deeper until he came right to the core of me, clutching onto me, growing inside me with every breath. I felt him prodding at the knot within, that The Perceptionist had helped me form once. Little good it had done.
So here it is, Asmodeus said in mirth, this box of intentions that hid away your future from me. Very clever, Michael. Very clever. But still, it didn’t work. Maybe I can use it myself. Yes?
He tugged at the emotion that had been wrapped around my deepest thoughts. The tangle gave way at his touch, revealing what I had been planning all along and not actually known myself. Smiling bitter triumph with my
own lips, I said in my own voice with perfect control.
“I have you now, Father.”
TWENTY-SIX
NO! THE STUNNED SPIRIT OF ASMODEUS RASPED from inside me. It was too late for him. He was in too deep. He tried to struggle back out again, but I held on, sucking the elements of my soul tightly together. He resisted and I locked onto him, like a host knowing that the parasite within was really a prisoner. His strength battered against me. It was a struggle to keep him from escaping, but I stayed firm, wrapping my elements of energy over the barbs he had dug inside me. Every breath was ragged and every movement a battle. Our spirits fought each other. If I let this go on forever he would eventually gain the upper hand. But it wouldn’t go on forever. With an immense effort I lifted my foot and stepped out into space, over the edge of the cliff. Nothingness embraced us, as I embraced the evil being inside me. I hugged him tight like a lost lover. His voice was swarming and choking at my brain. Amidst it all I smiled as we fell.
The vacuum of the black hole caught the body that contained the both of us, drawing us back to Hell. We swept down, bursting into the realm of fire, which I had come to call home. With each scramble Asmodeus made to break free of me, I held him. It wouldn’t be long. My eyes beheld a war still raging on the horizon. I couldn’t tell who was winning, but that didn’t matter. They couldn’t fight forever. They would eventually figure that out, even if it took eternity. Again, Asmodeus shifted inside, but by now even he knew the futility of it. He, who could see the future so close.
I arched my head to watch the ground come up. On the desert sands there was a gap of rock: a round circle of fragile stone that contained a sinkhole underneath. When I had drained the waters of sleep away, I had pushed them deep through the earth to rest somewhere no one would ever find them, unless I wanted them to. That place was here, where a body freefalling from Germaine’s void would crash down. It had been my hope that I could do it before Charlotte could come to help, but in the end I had failed. Asmodeus would have beaten me in Heaven had she not arrived. It had been fate and she took her role willingly. She had laid down her life just as I was doing now. She had made this plan possible. The waters of sleep would make sure my body lay inert forever, lost inside a pool that would drown it on every side. With Asmodeus and me attached so hopelessly, there was no chance we would ever emerge.
I could now see a figure with a thousand eyes watching us come down. My master, The Perceptionist, had received my message and understood, as I knew he would. I had paved the way. He did not have to interfere. All he had to do was let us fall. He could then seal the gateway behind and bury us deep: forgotten in the shifting sands of the black desert. Asmodeus saw The Perceptionist too and let out an unintelligible cry of anger through my mouth. He knew he had finally been defeated.
I saw my teacher nod in pride, as my plummeting body cracked through the rock. His student had done what had seemed impossible. I had taken down a god. An avalanche of stone came down with us, through the sinkhole. I turned my attention inward, ignoring the rubble tearing at my skin as we fell into the darkness. I let my soul grin at my father, who was still bellowing in fury. His soul was tangled in mine. There was no way out for him. The gurgling voice of Asmodeus was cut off, as liquid met my body. I didn’t even hear a splash. The only thing that met my ears was a beautiful silence, which meant I would never have to listen to anything ever again. I would never wake. I would never be. In that way, I at least shared the fate of my love, Charlotte. We were both lost to oblivion, but oblivion was sweet. Our suffering was at an end.
EPILOGUE
I AM WATCHING YOU, AS I WATCH THEM. I do not interfere. I simply stand sentinel with my thousand eyes.
God Asmodeus and his son Michael are frozen forever. I have concealed them where not even the most powerful of souls will be able to look.
You are now free to do as you wish. There is no one to stop you but yourselves. As humans you were created with the gift of free will, but because of the manipulation of higher powers your gift was not true. Now the opportunities are open. They are endless. God is dead. Everywhere you turn now, there is nothing but unbridled choice. You have total responsibility for yourselves. There is no one to answer to; no higher justice or purpose than what you can conceive in your own minds.
Does this sound liberating, or does it place a burden upon you? Some only foresee darkness when they are asked to rely upon the goodness of others, who have no fear of divine punishment. For many, this freedom seems a gift with sharp edges on all sides: you can spill blood with it, or cut a path, which opens the way for something more. Even now the war goes on in Hell. But you can bring it to an end, if you want it.
I believe goodness lies hidden somewhere within you all. I believe perfection is there. I see brief flickers of this potential, but you have an evil side which needs to be overcome. True justice is not doing what is right because you are forced to; it is doing what is right because it is good. True beauty does not lie inside a well-proportioned object; it lies within a pure action. That is perfection. I hope to see it unfold one day, but all I will do is watch.
The rest is up to you.
The Parable of the Good Shepherd
“The good shepherd lays down his life for his flock. The hired man is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The cowardly man runs away because he cares nothing for the sheep, only for himself. But you are not just sheep and I am not a cowardly man.
“I am the good shepherd.”
JOHN 10: 11-13
For more of Tim’s writing visit www.timhawken.com
Table of Contents
part one Resurrection
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
part two Sacrifice
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
part three Deicide
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
SEVEN
EIGHT
NINE
TEN
ELEVEN
TWELVE
THIRTEEN
FOURTEEN
FIFTEEN
SIXTEEN
SEVENTEEN
EIGHTEEN
NINETEEN
TWENTY
TWENTY-ONE
TWENTY-TWO
TWENTY-THREE
TWENTY-FOUR
TWENTY-FIVE
TWENTY-SIX
EPILOGUE