by Terri Lane
Penny didn’t manage to nod this time, her head lolling against the pillows as she drifted into a medicated sleep. Julia moved out of the way as the doctors came around to grab her bed, beginning to wheel her away. James looked like he wanted to say something, to stop them, and, on impulse, Julia grabbed his hand and held it tightly.
He looked startled, eyes pained with worry as he stared after his little girl, but he squeezed her hand back, and didn’t move.
“She’s going to be okay,” Julia whispered, even as the words felt empty, even to herself. “It’s not a head or neck injury…she’ll be okay.”
“I know…” he huffed, still looking distressed. Julia couldn’t blame him. So she just sat with him and held his hand while they waited. It seemed like hours of just sitting, just staring, just worrying, and wondering, and not knowing.
The waiting was torture. Julia prayed that Penny would be okay.
***
The rest of the day seemed to pass in a blur of waiting. Waiting and hoping. When Penny was finally released from surgery with a cast on her arm, the doctors talked to James about care, checkups, and other important information. He was nodding, taking it all in, but his eyes kept straying to his daughter, lying asleep on the bed.
She still looked pale, but her arm looked so much better, wrapped up and at the correct angle. It still made Julia feel sick to think of the pain she must have gone through. Her heart thudded in her chest as the realization hit her—she cared for Penny so much that it hurt, and if something had happened to her, she didn’t know what she would have possibly been able to do, how she would have been able to cope with a loss that would have felt crippling.
She looked at James, he was exhausted, but focused on getting the care his daughter needed and she thought that her heart was going to break. It wasn’t only Penny. The longing to be a part of James’s life was overwhelming, slamming into her at a great force. He was a wonderful man, just wonderful, and Penny was such a special little girl.
She wanted to be part of their lives. She wanted to be someone more than just the nanny. Her heart ached—it was a foolish dream. There was no way that James would put up with an advance from her after she distanced herself like she had. It had been cruel, and although she had tried to do it for the benefit of everyone, even she knew that she had been selfish and thoughtless.
But now she could not imagine being away. She didn’t want to imagine being away. She watched as the doctor and James signed release papers for when Penny woke up. There was little more they could do. Everything had gone smoothly and the hospital was over-worked and understaffed. Taking her home would be the best thing for her.
When Penny woke, she was groggy and sleepy, and James smiled and helped her sit up. She wasn’t feeling any pain and the thought comforted Julia immensely. She could see the relief on James’s face as well.
He picked her up with the greatest of care and they made their way to his car. When he offered Julia a ride home, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to say yes. She sat beside him, Penny dozing in the backseat against the window, with extra space for her broken arm, without risk of it being bumped or made any worse.
The journey home was a short one, but it felt like it went on forever. The music on the radio was low and muted, the rain pounding on the windows in a dull rhythm as the window wipers flicked it away. James was focused on the road. A careful driver. He obviously didn’t want any more close calls, any problems at all that might cause Penny more discomfort.
His focus meant that they spent most of the drive in silence. Julia didn’t mind. It gave her time to think about everything that she was feeling. She wanted to be a part of their lives, but it felt hopeless. She would either be the nanny who didn’t know her place, or the housewife who had no work outside of the home.
Both ideas were depressing, but if it meant being around Penny and James, then she would make do. Her heart was heavy, but it was nothing like it had been before, when she had feared the utter worst for Penny, fearing terrible injury or death.
She could still remember the panic that had pounded in her chest as they raced towards the hospital, clutching the cab seatbelt like a life-line and wondering if she would get there on time. She glanced at James. He must have felt the same, only so, so much worse. He had already lost his wife…to lose his only child too would have been excruciating. She couldn’t imagine it. She didn’t want to imagine it.
When they pulled up in the drive way, Julia got out first, opening the door on Penny’s side, so that James could use both hands to lift her carefully, detangling her from her seatbelt. She opened the doors for him, and turned down Penny’s bed. Penny was dozy when they set her down, and she didn’t have much trouble falling into a peaceful sleep, despite her arm. It must have been such a big day for her.
Swallowing deeply, Julia stepped out into the hallway. Such a big day for such a little girl. Tears formed in her eyes and she wiped them away with a sniffle. When James left the room and shut the door behind him, he found Julia turned away, a soft sniffing sound coming from her.
“Julia…are you all right?” James murmured, moving to her side.
She wiped her eyes quickly and forced a smile. “Yes, just…worried about Penny.” She smiled again, though she knew it looked fake. “Would you like a hot drink, or something?” She shifted, glancing out the window where the sky had turned dark.
“I’d like to talk,” he murmured, taking her hand.
Heart pounding in her chest, Julia followed him through the halls, until they sat in one of the lounge rooms that seemed to litter the house, “Julia…” He looked at her with piercing eyes. “What’s going on?”
Julia thought of covering up, thought of lying, thought of saying that she was just a little tired…but she knew this was the one chance she had to really be honest with him, to have a chance at the life she really wanted. So, she took a deep breath.
“I’ve had a rough few months.”
“You have?” He looked worried. “Before you came here, you mean?”
Julia nodded. Before she could stop herself, it all came pouring out. She told him she had been living what had seemed to be the perfect life. She told him about her job at the local college, a teaching job as a professor there, how she had studied and worked long and hard to get her PHD, and it was finally paying off. She talked about how she taught education and she absolutely loved it. It was rewarding, enjoyable and engaging and she loved the campus.
She smiled as she told him that she was fortunate enough to work on several different projects with the undergrads, as well as doing her own research and how her record was perfect, not a black mark to her name and she prided herself on this, striving to achieve excellence in everything that she did.
With tears in her eyes, she told him about how a few months ago her world had come crashing down spectacularly. She assured him that it had come out of the blue, blindsiding Julia completely. She had been accused of falsifying results on one of her research projects and the college was taking it very, very seriously.
She sighed as she told him that she thought it would all be cleared up quickly, but instead, the results of the investigation left her under suspicion. Julia told him how she had appealed, this time without pay, and she was still waiting for the results.
“I had to get a job, had to survive somehow,” she sighed as she wiped her eyes and looked at James. He was looking at her with an expression of sympathy on his face.
“I’m sorry, Julia. It sounds like you’ve had a really difficult time.”
Julia shook her head. “Other people have it far worse than me.”
“You have handled it well.” He smiled, and looked at her with curiosity, quiet and intense. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
Julia opened her mouth to protest, but he was right and they both knew it. She sighed and nodded. “Yes…I did not want any more black marks on my record.” She blushed. “I didn’t want to be the nanny who screwed her way to
the job…but I love working, I don’t want to give it up.”
He nodded, relief in his eyes. “Thought you didn’t like me.” He smiled, looking at her seriously. “You’ll get your job back at the college. I believe that.”
He moved closer, pulling her against him. Julia’s breath caught, but she could not resist him. His eyes stared into hers, unending and smoldering and she felt her heart stirring in her chest. “James…”
He smirked. “If that’s all that’s been standing in the way…” And then his mouth was on hers and Julia forgot why she had ever tried to pull away. Her body trembled against his as they kissed, unending and passionate. Julia felt the heat grow between her thighs, all over again, and found that she had never really been able to kill the flames of desire in her heart that danced for him, and only him.
Love and desire surged through her and Julia found herself moving to kneel on the ground, a smile on her face. James was panting as she undid his belt, pulled down his zipper and pulled his member from the confines of his underwear.
She bit her lip, remembering the feeling of him pushing within her, the warmth and the passion that she felt while he was holding her. The shuddering bliss that overcome her so very deeply. She moaned softly and James’s eyes widened. His hand stroked her hair, and she could feel his fingers tangling through the strands as she parted her lips. Slowly, she took him into her mouth, moaning and working her tongue. She swirled her tongue around, teasing and licking and sucking.
He tasted amazing and Julia moaned again, noticing how he gasped when she did. The fingers in her hair held firmer as she began to suck and bob up and down his length. Julia was breathing quick and fast, bliss shivering through her as he braced himself, his knees going weak.
She thrilled at the way he responded to her touch, and moaned at the desire that was rising inside her. Her hands shifted her dress, pulling up the hemline, finding their way into her panties so that she could shimmy them down her legs. All the while, she never stopped sucking, or twirling her tongue around in a way that she was quickly learning, made him shudder.
Julia teased herself all the while, her fingers slipping within her own aching heat as she groaned. She wiggled her hips and looked up at him as she did it and James gripped her hair firmly in response, pulling her in so that she could suck deeper.
She wasn’t sure what was coming over her—it wasn’t like her to act like this, pleasuring herself in front of men. But this man was an exception. Sexy, confident, and loving in a way that she couldn’t even describe. She wanted to spend her life with this man, wanted to be in his bed and at his side.
This fueled her on and she moaned quietly as she rocked her hips and pushed her fingers in deeper. James gasped and held her hair firmly. She could sense a shift in him as she licked and sucked, as the pleasurable tide rose within her, burning her skin, and making her moan and gasp in a way that seemed to thrill James to no end.
He moved his hand, so that Julia could gasp for air. Picking her up, he pulled her onto him, onto the couch, hiking up her skirt so that she could straddle him. She bit her lip, breasts bouncing enticingly as she began to shift, letting him enter her in a long, slow movement.
“Mm…” she gasped as she began to rock and bounce on him. The feel of him within her sent sparks through her skin. So good, so, so good. “Oh yes! More…!” she mumbled, she gasped, she bit her lip and drove him crazy, drove herself crazy.
His hands were on her breasts, lips on her skin. He thrusted within her, deep and strong. Julia gasped and groaned and held on tight, feeling the rippling muscles beneath his shirt.
And when he climaxed, hard and deep, Julia couldn’t stop herself from doing the same. The waves hit her deeply, making her groan and shudder and whisper his name. James held her tightly to his chest and she could smell his scent and hear his heartbeat. He groaned with pleasure as she tightened up around him and they rocked together in the blissful afterglow.
It clouded Julia’s vision and made her sigh in dreamy pleasure, in a bliss she didn’t understand. James glanced at the closed door, which was also locked, and grinned tiredly. “Sleep?”
“Here?”
“Why not?” He smiled, and shut his eyes, after leaving a lingering kiss on her lips, one that seemed to burn and tingle all the way to her toes.
“Okay…” She sighed in contentment, dozing on his chest, peaceful and content, everything right with the world.
And for now, that was enough.
***
The next morning, while preparing breakfast for Penny, Julia thought that she could not get any happier, that the bubble in her chest would not be able to take any more good things happening. She didn’t know how very wrong she was.
When she collected the mail, she was confronted with a letter addressed to her, from the college. She opened it with trembling hands, and her breath caught in her chest, expecting the worst. Instead, the news that she got was the best news that she possibly could have received.
The appeal had worked, and her name had been cleared. Her good name was restored and she would be able to work at the college again. Excitement bubbled up within her and she wanted to scream.
She had done it! She had done it and she could go back to her career—free to be with James, if he would have her, and she had a sneaky suspicion that he would.
When James wandered in for breakfast, she threw her arms around him, beaming as she told him the good news.
A broad smile broke out across his face and he declared that they would be going out to celebrate. Penny was more than happy to come with, since she had the day off from school. The rest of their day passed happily, time spent together going out for something to eat, before lounging around on the couch watching movies. Penny was so happy to have her father around for a whole day and Julia could not agree more.
It was only after Penny had gone to bed, that James brought up a proposition—he suggested that she go into freelancing, build her own research consultancy, her own teaching campaigns, educational courses, and leave the college behind. After all, the college had never done anything for her.
She was touched that he thought she could do it, thrilled that he had so much faith in her, but she was worried, she had no money to do it with, just her good name.
When James offered to put in the collateral so that she could pursue this dream, Julia realized just how lucky she was, and just what a good guy he really was. Once the details were worked out, it was settled. Julia would start her own company, freeing her of the place that tried to bring down her good name and reputation, freeing up family time, being able to earn good money and build a meaningful career that she loved.
She jumped at the chance. The added income meant James could relax a little, coming home more often for Penny, so that there was no need for another nanny.
It sounded perfect, and when James took her in his arms, his lips meeting hers, Julia knew that it was.
She had found her happily ever after, and she was never looking back again.
What had seemed like a downward slide was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She had found her place in the world. And she loved it.
THE END
= Bonus Book 2 of 20 =
Never Yours
The bodies of the other new resident nurses crushed me from each side, which was annoying because I wanted to make an impression on this hospital, my first ever medical job, right away, but it was also kind of comforting. I guess it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone in all of this.
“Oh my God, this is so exciting!” Nancy, one of the more immature girls from nursing school squealed to me. “Violet, aren’t you so thrilled to be here.”
Of course I was, but I didn’t want to be seen as a sillier person, so I nodded sharply and kept my head fixed forwards. I’d always wanted to work in a hospital, the idea of helping other people drove me forwards, and now I would actually get a chance to do that. I was utterly thrilled, but consumed by anxiety at the same time.
I shot Nancy a nervous look, which she returned, but I was determined. I hadn’t gone through all those years of education for nothing. I would use my education in the right way, and I couldn’t wait.
After that very…motivating speech, we were separated into groups and sent off to shadow other members of staff for the day. I was keen to jump in and to take over, which the nurse, Miranda, I’d been assigned to work with took gratefully. She actually let me insert IV drips and take blood. Okay, so it wasn’t necessarily life-saving stuff, not like they’d have in accident and emergency, but it was a good start. Probably better than some of the others.
“Violet, is it?” Miranda asked me gruffly at one point as the day was coming to a close. I nodded unsure of why she suddenly sounded so grouchy with me. “Yeah, you’re gonna do well here. Most people fuck up on their first day.” I blanched at the use of an expletive, but since no one else in the room seemed bothered I couldn’t see any need to mention it either. “The fact that you haven’t speaks volumes. I’ll recommend you to Dr. Turner.”
Dr. Turner, the one name in the world that had the potential to turn me into jelly. Of course, I wasn’t expecting this to be the same Dr. Turner, but I couldn’t stop my mind travelling back in time all the same.
During my training, there were a lot of visits from working doctors to teach us specific classes, and Dr. Turner was just one of them. He was utterly stunning, with his dark hair, his chocolaty eyes, his high cheek bones, and his broad shoulders. I really paid attention in his class! Everyone liked him, but I liked him more than I had liked anyone else before. I dreamt about him, fantasized about him, thought about him all the time. The only thing that stopped me taking any sort of action on that, was the fact that he was my teacher and it’d be so incredibly wrong.