by Terri Lane
“It shouldn’t,” he admitted. “And a lot of the time it doesn’t, but sometimes it gets to me more than anything else in the world.”
A heavy silence fell over them both for a few seconds, while they got lost in their own very negative thoughts.
“Okay,” Abbie slapped her knees, finally snapping into action. “Let’s get a shot. There’s nothing that I can do to solve your problem, but I’m sure that a drink will help.”
“Finally,” he joked. “I’ve managed to get the elusive Abbie to have a drink with me! All it took was a few tears…”
“I’m sorry,” she replied, a little guiltily. “I don’t mean to seem like a bitch.” She suddenly felt awful for all the times she’d been so cold to him – she could see things a little clearer now that Travis wasn’t fogging up her brain.
“Don’t be!” he shot back, looking a little happier now. “You are a challenge, and I like that. When you get the fame level that I have, sometimes it’s a challenge just to keep women away from you.” The way he said that wasn’t arrogant, just matter of fact, which made Abbie laugh.
She couldn’t believe that she’d just been referred to as ‘a challenge’. She certainly didn’t jump into bed with anyone that looked her way, but she couldn’t imagine anyone being interested in her enough to chase her either.
She grinned to herself, suddenly very excited to see where Hawaii was going to lead.
***
After that night, Abbie and Rex grew closer as friends, and they started to hang out a lot in a platonic way. The more time that she spent with him, the more she liked him as a person. Once she got past that flirty side of him, he was actually really good fun, and someone that she had a lot in common with.
Of course, the steamy chemistry still sizzled between them, and she did miss the way that he made her feel when he flirted with her, but she was enjoying his company so much that she didn’t mind. She liked being around him so much that she would have accepted any kind of relationship with him.
She didn’t want to admit to herself that she was still keeping him at arm’s length, just in case Travis decided to come back into her life, but that was the truth of it and deep down she knew that.
She almost started to test Travis with her communication, to see how he would react. She hoped that by keeping everything purely professional and business like, he would make his feelings towards her crystal clear, allowing her to make a decision with every option laid out on the table for her, but so far he hadn’t changed – almost as if he hadn’t noticed that things were different.
She did consider completely ignoring Travis for a while, just to see what would happen, but it wasn’t worth losing her job over – plus she wanted any potential future work that he might have to offer her too. She couldn’t risk that over feelings; her career was too important for that.
Now, when he texted her and asked about work, she replied only with information about the job. No more niceties, no more kisses, but that didn’t seem to affect him at all. It was pretty upsetting, and left Abbie feeling foolish, but after a while she started to feel the control roll back into her life.
If he couldn’t ‘do’ forever, and he didn’t seem to be showing her any kind of feelings, then surely that ended things? Maybe it was time to accept that Travis wasn’t an unanswered question, standing in the way of her and Rex, but that he’d given her a very clear answer. Just because it hadn’t been the one that she’d wanted to hear, didn’t make it any less valid.
Maybe it was time for her to start thinking about herself, rather than concentrating on some man who didn’t seem want her. It wouldn’t be easy, and she certainly couldn’t just switch off her feelings, but she had to at least try. She had to start looking a life with her eyes wide open. She was in Hawaii for crying out loud, with a very gorgeous man, who really seemed to like her.
Maybe it was time that he got the shot he so clearly wanted.
She would just have to try to remember Travis as a fun fling, as she’d always said, and that was that. Sure, maybe they could have become more if he’d been willing to give her a shot, but she wasn’t going to race about chasing a man that was only going to break her heart all over again. He had helped her get over her cheating scumbag ex-boyfriend, and for that she would be eternally grateful, but now she needed to put him in the past too.
“Drink tonight?” Rex asked her after filming, and she nodded excitedly. She loved having him as such a good friend, and now that she’d gotten to know him, she regretted all the times she’d blown him off. It seemed so silly looking back – even if they couldn’t become more, they could have had the wonderful friendship that they shared – that was worth enough!
Being friends was making work much easier for them too. Now that Abbie wasn’t trying desperately to fight the chemistry between them, they were getting takes done to the right standard that much quicker. Everyone was happy, which was making the entire job run that much smoother.
“Let’s go,” she grinned, slipping her arm through his. “I could use a good night out, it’s been… ooh twenty four hours!”
***
The longer the night went on, and the drunker the pair became, they found themselves sliding increasingly closer to one another. Usually they were conscious of keeping apart but for some reason things were different tonight. Maybe it was because Abbie had finally decided to move on, and Rex could sense that, or maybe they were both just sick of trying to act like friendship was enough. It was in the cold, sober light of day, but it seemed like they were both aware that something would happen sooner or later.
Or maybe it was simply because they’d been acting out a particularly steamy part on the beach all day, with their bodies wrapped around one another – and that was proving too much for the both of them to resist.
Whatever it was, it was certainly no surprise when Rex put his hands on her cheeks and stared deep into her eyes with what looked like love within them. Abbie’s heart might have started to pound painfully against her chest, and her mouth may have run dry with nerves, but she wasn’t shocked.
“You’re so beautiful,” he told her earnestly. “I wish you liked me in the way that I like you.”
She gulped down her emotion, and whispered her reply, knowing that she was about to be far too honest. “Maybe I do,” she told him. “Maybe I’m just… complicated.”
That was putting it mildly!
“You’ve been hurt,” he nodded. “I can see that. All I want you to know is that I would never do anything to make you cry. If you were mine, I would adore you from the bottom of my heart, and I would worship the ground you walk on.”
Her heart melted as he said those words, choosing to wholeheartedly believe them, even if he was a little bit tipsy. What girl didn’t want to hear that? And from one of the most sought-after men on the planet too! It was absolutely incredible.
Abbie didn’t know what to do with herself; her body was going wild. She debated internally for a few seconds, trying to figure out the best course of action, until her body took over making the much-needed choice for her. She leaned in for a kiss. It might have been insane, and not the right thing to do, but the temptation was too strong, too intense, and she didn’t feel like she could have resisted even if she really wanted to.
And she really, really didn’t want to resist him.
The way his lips moved harmoniously with hers made her feel amazing. His kiss was very different to Travis’s – less needy and passionate, more sexy and sensual. It awakened something inside of her, a new side of her that she really wanted to explore further…
***
She didn’t start to feel any guilt for her actions until she was lying in her bed alone later that night. Of course she knew that she shouldn’t feel that way – she was very single after all – but she felt bad about betraying Travis (even though she technically wasn’t, and anyway, he was undoubtedly doing the same to her). She also felt bad for kissing Rex while she was still thinking about someone else…<
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It didn’t seem right for everyone involved, and Abbie began freaking out, worrying that she wouldn’t be able to handle it when the morning came around.
Wherever she went these days, trouble seemed to follow her! Her life had never been like that before. With Greg she had always known (or thought she’d known) where she stood, and life was very simple and basic. Now, without him in her life, it was almost like she couldn’t handle herself. She never knew what was going to happen next, and that was exciting and terrifying in equal measure.
Maybe she should never have come home early. If she hadn’t have caught him cheating, and she would have been blissful unaware that her stable, simple life was nothing more than a sham.
But the thought of still being back there with him made her feel a little sick. This might have been a lot crazier, but it was a hell of a lot better too!
***
When Abbie awoke the next morning with a very unwelcome hangover, she made the decision to put the kiss with Rex to the back of her mind just to get through the day. She decided to act like it was just a drunken thing, and not take it any further, just so things wouldn’t get too complicated between the pair of them. Not while she was still feeling so mixed up – Rex didn’t deserve that. She knew that he wasn’t going to like it, but it felt like the kindest way to deal with all of it.
Maybe she was wrong, maybe she was about to screw things up even further, but she just didn’t know what else she could do.
What she wasn’t expecting when she made her silly plan, was for her and Rex to have to spend the entire day kissing for one of the scenes for the music video. Judging from Rex’s expression when they got the news, neither was he. In fact, she hadn’t even heard about this before she started filming. It was as if someone had designed this just to torture her – damn fate again, playing its crazy games!
Unfortunately, because of the events of the night before, it was all very awkward. Neither of them knew what to say to one another. It was simply weird – worse than any of the shots that they’d done before. Neither of them could relax, and the more that they were pushed, the more introverted they became. Clearly acting like it had never happened wasn’t going to work for either of them. What they really needed was some time alone to discuss their emotions and feelings, but they weren’t exactly going to interrupt the shoot for that.
“No, no, no!” the director kept screaming at them, growing increasingly frustrated as the day went on. “What the hell is wrong with you two? Why is this so… so… I don’t even have the right words for it!” He eventually exploded in a fit of rage.
But no matter what happened, no matter how many times he yelled, Abbie simply couldn’t relax. With all the cameras in her face, and the crew surrounding her, she couldn’t even slightly be herself around Rex, and while it felt like they had a lot to discuss, it was too strange for words.
“Okay,” the director insisted, finally giving up after what felt like hours of torture. “Today is not going to happen obviously… you two have a lot of practicing to do to get this right. I suggest that you stay here and get on with it. In fact,” he continued thoughtfully. “I insist that you do. We cannot waste any more time. Time is money in this business… and you two are costing us a ton. Get practicing, and get it right tomorrow.”
As the crew filed out of the room, leaving Abbie and Rex alone, they started to feel more and more like school children that had just been told off by the teacher. Abbie wanted to laugh, but she wasn’t sure if the mood was right, so she bit her tongue. She didn’t know if Rex would take offense if she did, and that was the last thing that she wanted.
***
Rex turned to face her, looking all business. “Right. Well I think it’s safe to say that didn’t go very well.”
“I know,” Abbie sighed, feeling sadder than ever. “I’m sorry, I’m sure it was my fault...” She felt incredibly guilty for the after the way her emotional state seemed to be messing up everything for everyone else. She really hated that. She had to get this problem solved one way or another.
“No, no, it was both of us,” Rex insisted, smiling warmly at her. “It just… a little strange after last night, isn’t it?”
Oh God, he was addressing it right away. That sent Abbie a little wild with fear, but at the same time she was glad. They needed to get over it if they were going to be able to move on in any way. They had to get through it if they were ever going to finish this damn music video anyway. Plus Rex just had this warm and inviting aura surrounding him, which made her feel much more willing to open up to him and to be closer to him now that everyone else was gone.
That was the way she preferred it – just the two of them.
“Yeah,” she replied, nodding seriously, hoping that he had all the answers because she sure as hell didn’t. “But… what can we do about that?”
Her heart pounded noisily as she started to wonder if this was the time to open up and tell him everything – all about the past that she’d been keeping from him, just to keep things simple between them. But would it be weird to open up about her romantic past to someone that she’d shared one measly kiss with? Would it be weird to tell him all about the cheating that Greg put her through, and about the heartbreaking fling she’d had with Travis? It was the only way that she could explain why she was so odd about everything, and clear the air, bus should she do it? Would she want to hear it if it was the other way around?
But then he shocked her by not really talking about it at all, and by completely changing the subject back to the task at hand. “So, shall we rehearse?” He held his hand out to her. “It might be easier with no one else around.”
She glanced at him in surprise, wondering what his endgame was with this. Did he intend to just blow over it completely and to just leave it at that? She supposed that was what she had intended by acting like it was just a drunken thing… but she couldn’t deny that it stung a little.
Okay, well if he didn’t want to talk it through and analyze every detail, then she certainly wasn’t going to push it – she decided this with such a conviction, that she almost managed to convince herself that it was what she wanted, too. Trying to blow past her feelings, she took his hand and they started to go over their moves once more.
“If we start from this bit,” he murmured, seemingly avoiding making eye contact with her. “Then we can get to the… kiss in a minute.”
“Okay sure,” she nodded as if she was completely on board with the plan. But her brain was a mess. Her feet moved perfectly in time with the music, completing all of the steps to precision, but the entire time she was acutely aware of where this was headed and that was playing havoc with her.
Oh God, she kept thinking, over and over again. Any minute now. She kept trying to look into his eyes to see if he was feeling anything of what she was, but he was pointedly refusing to look directly at her – focusing on his feet instead.
Eventually, they could avoid it no longer, and the moment came upon them. As his face moved closer to hers, with his lips pursed in a way that was incredibly sexy, Abbie couldn’t help but agree with him on one point – without everyone else around, it was much easier. Of course there was still a little bit of awkwardness, but mostly Abbie found herself excited that he had his lips upon hers once more. All her vows to herself that she would keep away from him vanished into thin air as he moved in towards her all over again. All her promises that she would keep things simple until she figured out exactly what she wanted in life became a worthless argument. Her head was still muddled, but her body craved Rex’s. Surely no one in the world could blame her for falling for the charms of such a hot rock star… especially since he was such a lovely, kind man too.
She wanted to hate herself for being so weak, but in that moment, she couldn’t even care.
***
As their lips crashed together, everything else melted away. The stress of the day, the fact that they were in the dance studio, all the reasons that they shouldn’t be kissing…
The entire world shrank simply to Abbie and Rex, and that was just how she wanted it. Suddenly, she could feel free around him – and that was exactly how the kiss needed to look in the music video.
Not that she was thinking too much about the music video right now!
Things had already gone too far, there was no turning back now. Abbie knew that she was giving in to a forbidden temptation, but she didn’t care. The lust buzzing in her brain was drowning any sensibilities out. Her other cares vanished when she had this gorgeous man enflaming her body with desire. She’d been pushing Rex away for far too long. Now was the time to invite him in, to let him be with her in the way that she so desperately wanted him to be.
As Rex pushed her backwards until she was pressed up against the nearest wall, Abbie got a better feel of his body. He was different to Travis, less sculpted and broader, but in a way that made her feel really safe and secure. He was warm, and cuddly, but toned too – it only took one rub of her hands over his t-shirt to discover that much about him, and she immediately couldn’t wait to explore more.
But would that be a mistake?
“Oh God,” she eventually groaned, fearing that it might be best to examine this before it got way too out of control. “Rex what are we doing?”
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, whilst running his mouth all over her neck, clearly having no intention to. “I can if you want me to.”
She couldn’t blame him for wanting this to continue – he’d been making his interest in her obvious for long enough – but the more that he did that to her, the less she was able to think straight.
“God no!” she cried out, as his fingers made their way down her body. “Never.” Nope, it was too late. She was too far gone – even if this wasn’t the most sensible move for her, there was nothing she could do now. She needed him, craved him, ached for him, and for that reason alone she absolutely had to have him.