“You didn’t. I told you that I loved you, that I wanted you,” she insisted.
He smiled at her sweetness, her unwillingness to allow him to feel any remorse.
“I know, baby. I just was all muddled up inside. I was so damn confused. I should have never let you go that morning. I hid from you and fought my feelings for you until I knew I was dying a slow and painful death. Then your birthday came and—” he stopped and turned away from her.
“Sean, what is it? What happened on my birthday?” she asked, not knowing what he meant.
“I talked to my dad and he made me realize—”
“Your dad? Does he know about us?”
He nodded, realizing that she must be shocked by that news.
“Yeah, sorry. I should have told you sooner.”
“No wonder I would catch him giving me these looks, it was like he knew something. I’m sorry, finish telling me. You said he made you realize?”
“Right, well he told me that he understood after losing my mom that you don’t get many chances in life. He told me in a roundabout sort of way that if I loved you I should get off my ass and do something about it.” He smirked. “Granted, it wasn’t quite that crystal clear when he said it, but I got the point. Your birthday was coming up the following weekend so I decided to come see you, to tell you that I loved you and to beg you for another chance.”
Her eyes were wide with surprise.
“Why didn’t you? Sean, my heart broke for you every day.”
He looked at her, the memory of that night washed over him.
“It didn’t look that way.”
Isabelle’s brows bunched together and she shook her head.
“What do you mean? You never even—oh no. Sean, were you there? You were there, outside when I got back from my date with Justin, weren’t you?”
He said nothing, just nodded.
“Sean, you have to understand. That was the first date I went on. I finally had decided to try and move on with my life. I thought that you didn’t want me. I just wanted to forget the heartache. I was so tired of being sad.”
He gave her a sarcastic laugh. “I wish I knew that then. I stood only yards away from you and listened to you tell him that there was no one at home waiting for you. But I was, Izzy. I was at home. And I loved you so much.”
“Sean, I wish I knew. I swear to you, as much as I might care about Justin, he could never hold a candle to how you make me feel. Please tell me that you believe that. Please tell me that we can finally be together.” She blinked and tears fell from her eyes. “Sean, I don’t think I can live without you anymore. I go on, I try every day. But I’m not whole. There’s something missing. I need you. I need us to be together.”
Sean felt contentment and peace wrap around his heart like a warm, fuzzy blanket from her speech.
“Yes, Izzy. We are going to be together. Nothing and no one will stand in our way.” He brought her close to him and held onto her tight. “I’m so sorry for everything, baby. I love you. And I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
Snuggling into his warmth, she wondered if she could be dreaming. Had she fallen asleep in the bathtub? Was dreaming her fantasies to life? If she was, she prayed that she never woke up. She started at the feel of wetness hitting her shoulder.
“Sean?”
He was crying. He hated to cry.
“I’m sorry, baby. I just never thought I would get a second chance with you. But when I saw you yesterday…” He laughed. “You know, I wasn’t even supposed to be here. I had planned to leave before you arrived. I thank God that you were early.”
“So the way you’ve changed, it was because—”
He silenced her with a kiss, then finished the sentence for her.
“I changed because I was dying inside. I hated everything. I loved you and needed you so much that I hated the world that I lived in because I couldn’t hold you and love you every day of my life.” He grinned at her. “But no more. I’m not angry or bitter. I’m happy Izzy.” He bent his head to kiss her.
His kiss was setting her on fire.
“Sean, make love to me.” She grinned at her memories of their first night together. “Like that night. That first night when you stopped thinking and you just felt. Show me again everything you showed me that night.”
She had looked away from him. She seemed embarrassed. He lifted her chin with his finger.
“Baby, are you sure? I was so rough with you. I don’t want to ever hurt you, ever again.”
She looked at him and bit her bottom lip, a habit she had whenever she was nervous.
“Yes. I want you, Sean. I want you and I want you to show me how much you want me. Make love to me and make me yours all over again.”
“Then what’s wrong? Why do you seem so scared?” he asked.
Izzy swallowed nervously.
“I, um, nothing. Just make love to me Sean.”
“Izzy, tell me.” He demanded.
She expelled a breath and dug deep within herself for the courage to ask him.
“You know that thing. I mean, how we did it a little while ago.”
Sean grinned.
“Yeah, baby. I remember. Did you like it?”
She nodded as she bit down even harder on her lower lip.
“Okay, baby. But stop doing that to your lip. They’re for kissing, by me. Maybe we’ll try that again. But right now I need to show you how much I love you.”
Chapter Ten
Sean kissed her; he kissed her with the passion and the love that he had been holding in for over a year. Leaning her back, he loomed over her and took those kisses to new heights. Their bodies molded together as they began to move as one. There were no words said as they stared into each others eyes and made love with one another like the act in itself could sustain them for as long as they lived.
Sean held her afterwards. Hugged her tightly against his body as they lay there stroking each other’s heated flesh. They were in harmony with one another. They were perfect together. They were so much in love that he wanted to scream it from the highest mountain top. He was about to say something when he heard a sound. He looked over to the doorway and cocked his head to see better from the position in which he lay. It was too late. Justin came barreling at Sean with the ferocity of a starving caged lion.
Isabelle screamed as Sean pushed her off of the bed and away from him before she could be hurt. Justin jumped on top of Sean and tried to hit him, but it was no use. While Justin was fit physically, he did not have the power or the strength that Sean did. Overpowering him, Sean pushed Justin off of the bed and rose from it, facing to stare at the man with murderous intention in his eyes. Sean reached behind him to make sure that Isabelle was safely tucked out of harms way.
“You whore!” Justin hurled the words at her.
“Watch it,” Sean snapped.
“Justin. God, Justin, I’m so sorry. I—let me explain.” Isabelle felt horrible for the betrayal she saw in his eyes.
“Explain? Explain what exactly, Isabelle?” He stepped closer as he hollered at her. “Explain how you feel so horrible that you can’t go to a party with me, but then I find you like this? Or are you going to explain how you can’t sleep with me, but you can sleep with your brother?” Justin let out a tortured laugh. “Your freaking brother, Isabelle. What is wrong with you?”
“Justin please, I—”
“No! I don’t want to hear your excuses. God, do you have any idea how much I loved you? How much I still love you?” Justin’s anger began to subside as sadness washed over him.
“Sean, would you give me and Justin some time alone please?” She reached to her hope chest and grabbed the robe she had taken off before the bath.
“What? Hell no. There is no way—”
“Sean, please. I owe him an explanation,” Izzy implored.
Sean shook his head in disbelief.
“Izzy, I don’t want to leave you alone with him.”
&nbs
p; Justin quickly interrupted, “You’re a fine one to pass judgment. I would never do anything to hurt her.”
Sean winced at his statement. Less than an hour ago he had done that exact thing. Out of his feelings of hurt and betrayal he had been rough with his Izzy. It still tore him up to know that he had treated her so carelessly. Turning back to Izzy he said, “I don’t know, Izzy.”
Securely tying the robe closed, Izzy placed a hand to Sean’s arm.
“It’s the right thing to do, Sean. He deserves at least that.”
Begrudgingly, Sean nodded.
“Fine.” Turning to Justin he said, “I’ll be right down stairs in the living room, you got me?”
Justin said nothing. He just stared coldly at Sean. He hadn’t liked this guy when they had shown up yesterday. But now, now he hated him with an intensity that seemed almost inhuman.
Making quick work of his jeans, Sean finished buttoning them and strode out of the room as he threw a warning look toward Justin.
Isabelle waited for the door to close to speak, but once she opened her mouth she was interrupted by Justin.
“Why? Isabelle, I love you. I think I fell in love with you the first time I kissed you. How could you do this to me?” He came to her, needing to touch her, hold her.
At the feel of Justin’s hands on her shoulders, she cringed at the guilt that became all the more intense.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could say something to make it right, but I can’t. I’m so sorry, Justin.”
“You can.” Justin looked at her with anguished eyes.
“What—I can what, Justin?”
“You can make it right.” His fingers tensed on her shoulders before he continued. “You can leave here with me right now. No, let me finish.” Justin dropped down to his knees and pulled a small box from the inside of his jacket pocket. He looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
“Justin.”
“No, just listen. Isabelle, I love you. I was going to wait until Christmas morning. I—well, Terrance helped he pick it out today. I didn’t leave it here. I didn’t want you to find it.” He opened the lid and showed her the shiny round solitaire ring.
“Isabelle, will you marry me? Please, we can forget about what you did. Of course I would forbid you to ever see him again. But it won’t matter because I will make you so happy. I swear to you I will. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I will move heaven and earth to see that you get it.”
If God struck her with lightning at this very moment she didn’t think she could possibly feel any more pain. He was such a good person and he treated her so well. He was willing to forgive her for sleeping with another man. She knew she did not deserve his devotion. And the worst part was, she didn’t want it. She wanted Sean.
“Isabelle. My sweet, beautiful Isabelle.” He kissed her hand. “I see you thinking, wondering. But I swear to you honey. I swear with all that I have, with all that I am, that I will make you happy. Please, please, Isabelle, just tell me you’ll marry me.”
“Oh, Justin.” She hated this. “I can’t, I’m so sorry.”
The shock crept across his face at her decline.
“But you love me. You told me—Isabelle you told me that you loved me.”
She squeezed her eyes tight as she wished the tears away.
“Justin, I do. I care for you and I do love you. I just—,” she took a steadying breath, “I just don’t think that I’m in love with you. I’m sorry.”
Justin saw hope in her words.
“You don’t think? Maybe you are, though. Maybe you—.”
Isabelle placed her hands to his face.
“No, Justin. I care about you. But I don’t think I could ever be in love with another man.”
“Him?” He got up from his knees and the anger swept back over him. “You’re in love with him, your brother?”
“No, Justin. He’s not my brother. His father only married my mother a few years ago. I’ve been in love with him ever since. I am truly sorry that I’ve hurt you.” She went to place a hand on his shoulder and he jerked away from her.
“You think you’ve hurt me? You’re a bigger fool than I thought, then. You didn’t hurt me Isabelle. You destroyed me!” He shouted the last words before storming from the room.
Isabelle was startled to see Sean standing on the other side of the door. She went after Justin but not before turning to Sean.
“Please, go downstairs. It’s not fair to him to have you lurking out here.”
“Izzy I—”
“No, Sean. Look at it from his perspective.”
“Damn it! Fine, I’ll be downstairs.” He stalked off toward the stairs.
Isabelle took a deep breath and followed the sound of banging coming from the guest room were Justin was staying. She walked in to find him slamming drawers and haphazardly throwing his things into his suitcase. He turned to her when she walked back into the room.
“You can find your own damn ride back to school.”
She nodded. What else could she say? What she had done was wrong. She knew it. But that hadn’t stopped her. This man had waited for her, been patient with her and had done nothing but love her for the past seven months. And what did she do? She took his heart and squashed it. She only hoped and prayed that he didn’t love her as much as he claimed. That she hadn’t inflicted upon him the same pain that Sean had given her when he had turned her away.
“What, got nothing to say?” He laughed. “God how I want to hate you. I want to hurl obscenities and scream at you. I want you to feel the same pain that I do right now.” He turned away from her for a moment, then suddenly without warning he went to her, grabbing her in an embrace that held their bodies close. Their mouths were almost touching when he spoke to her quietly.
“Isabelle, please. I’ll do anything. You’ll learn to love me. I’ll make you so happy that you’ll fall hopelessly in love with me.” He leaned in and kissed her.
Pleading with her he said, “Please, Isabelle, just leave with me now. We’ll forget any of this ever happened. I love you so much.” He started to cry.
Oh God. She couldn’t stand to see the torment she was causing him. She was a coward for what she was about to do and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry, Justin. I can’t.” And she ran from the room.
Justin stood there, stunned, crying and heartbroken.
“Isabelle,” he whispered.
* * * *
Isabelle went to her bedroom and quickly threw on a t-shirt and sweat pants. What she really wanted to do was crawl into her bed and cry against her pillow, but Justin was leaving and he deserved, if nothing else, for her to see him off. She wished she hadn’t hurt him. She wished she had never gone out on that date with him. Then Sean wouldn’t have left and…
“Oh, stop it, Isabelle. You’re being selfish,” she chided herself.
Moments later, Isabelle came barreling down the stairs. She needed to talk to Sean before Justin came down. The last thing any of them needed, especially Justin, was a scene. She could still hear him packing, but she knew he wouldn’t be much longer.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she ran into Sean at the bottom of the stairs.
“Sean. I didn’t even see you there.”
“Is he leaving, Izzy?” His tone wasn’t pleasant.
Her shoulders slumped and she sighed.
“Yes, Sean. But please don’t say anything to him. I’ve hurt him. Just leave him alone, for me. Please.”
“Izzy, I don’t care what—”
“Sean,” she snapped at him. “Stop it. I feel horrible for the way I’ve led him on. Deep down I always knew that I could only ever love you. But I still let him think that we could have a future together. I wasn’t fair to him, Sean. I feel awful. Please just leave him alone.”
He listened to her pleading with him. He knew she was right. But he couldn’t shake his jealous possessiveness over his Izzy. Maybe he did feel sorry for the poor schmuck. But that didn
’t mean that he had to like him.
“Fine, you’re right. I won’t say anything.” They both turned as they heard the front door.
“Honey, really, I’m sure she’s fine. And besides, Justin came by to check on—” Terrance quieted. He stared at the same thing that had gotten his wife’s attention. Clad in only a pair of jeans was Sean, Izzy standing next to him. And at the top of the stairs stood a grief-stricken Justin with his suitcase in hand.
“What on earth? Justin, are you okay? And Sean, I thought you had to work tonight.” She turned to her daughter. “Isabelle have you been crying?” Connie asked them all in complete and utter confusion.
Terrance took one look at the situation and knew. He stared at his son, furious with him for what he had clearly done. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shook his head and opened them up. Justin had come further down the stairs. He now stood directly in front of them, obviously waiting for them to move out of the way of the door so that he could leave whatever nightmare he had stumbled upon.
“Justin. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say to—” Terrance told him. He felt horrible for the boy. He spent the day with him and listened to him tell of how much he loved Isabelle. How he wanted nothing more than to marry her. His heart broke for the jaded person in front of him.
“Don’t, Terrance. I don’t blame you. I don’t think you would have helped me today if you had known,” Justin said sincerely.
“Known what?” Connie turned to her husband. “Terrance, what on heavens name is going on?” When she was met with silence she became angry. “Someone better tell me something right now!”
Justin smiled the best smile he could muster. She was really a very sweet lady.
“Thank you, Connie. Your hospitality has made me feel very—welcome. But I have to go spend Christmas with my family, if you’ll please excuse me.”
“But why? Isabelle, are you leaving too?” But Connie saw her answer on her daughter’s face. It was obviously over between the two of them. “Why, what happened?”
Justin took a breath.
“I’ll let Isabelle explain things to you. Now please, if you’ll—yes, thank you I really must be going.” He kissed her on the cheek as he moved his way past her and out the door. Without looking back, he closed the door.
Morgan, Nicole - Love Knows No Boundaries (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 11