by Lisa Jackson
“This looks great!” Kane exclaimed a little too heartily as he helped Erin to her chair. His fingers brushed against her arm, and startled by the intimate gesture, Erin turned her eyes away from the meal to look more closely at him. He seemed more than tired—he seemed weary. She could tell his jovial words were just a cloak for the tension coiling rigidly within him. Although his voice was cheerful, the lines on his forehead, the muscle cords strung tightly at his neck, and the darkness of his gaze betrayed his calm exterior.
“Doesn’t this look delicious, honey?” he asked his daughter as he took his seat. Krista remained silent. Kane cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together. “I’m famished!” He looked at Krista with concern. Her large, liquid eyes met his, but still she didn’t speak.
Finally she broke her gaze from that of her father, and stared instead at the napkin in her lap. Kane’s forced smile disappeared into a frown. He was obviously distressed by Krista’s coolness and lack of manners, but he wisely said nothing, preferring to wait until he was alone with his daughter before having the argument that he knew was brewing between them.
The meal began in silence, and Erin thought that she would scream if some of the icy tension in the air didn’t melt. Fortunately the telephone rang, and Kane excused himself to answer it. The conversation was extremely one-sided and uncomfortable.
“Not tonight,” Kane argued but was apparently interrupted. “No—it’s absolutely impossible! I just got in from California with my daughter. You’ll have to handle it yourself!” A pause, and the muscle in Kane’s rigid face tightened again. “Can’t Jones handle it? No—how about Martin?” Another long pause. “For God’s sake, Jim, doesn’t anyone down there know what they’re doing?” Kane was shaking his head, raking his fingers through the burnished copper of his hair and pacing the length of the telephone cord. “All right, all right! I get the picture. I’ll be there in—” he checked his watch
“—about twenty minutes!” He slammed the receiver down viciously and uttered a curse under his breath.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized sincerely, once he had subdued his temper. His gray eyes pleaded with Erin to understand. “It seems that there are major problems in the computer center tonight. I have to go to the bank for a little while….”
“No…” Krista began to wail, looking frantically from her father to Erin and back again. “Don’t go….”
“I’m sorry, honey,” Kane responded with a fond pat on her silky blond curls. “But, really, I have to go—just for a little while…”
“No…no…” Krista pleaded, clinging to her father’s shirtsleeve.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours. You can stay here with Erin.”
“Daddy! No!”
Kane’s expression became confused, and for a moment Erin thought that he might reconsider. She fervently hoped so, but when his dark brows straightened again, she knew that the decision had been made. He was leaving Erin with the adolescent girl who obviously hated her.
“Erin, do you mind?” he asked, ignoring Krista’s pleading eyes.
“Not at all,” Erin agreed, as kindly as she could, and rained a warm smile on Krista. “We’ll get along just fine!” Kane’s gray gaze was dubious.
“Daddy, please, don’t go!” Krista cried in a shaky voice. Her frightened blue eyes skittered over to Erin and back to her father.
“Look, honey,” Kane answered, taking both of Krista’s hands in his. He squatted next to the chair, so that the child could look him squarely in the eyes. “You know I don’t want to go, so let’s not make it any harder than it already is. I’ll be back soon. I promise.” He planted a loving kiss on the top of her forehead as if to ward off any further protests. His silvery eyes locked with Erin’s for a moment, begging her to understand, but there was something more—the same old sense of wariness seemed to flicker across his face for an instant as he grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. Krista stared at her plate, unable to watch her father leave, but Erin followed him.
Kane stretched into his coat, took Erin’s hand in his and gently guided her out into the semiprivacy of the hallway. “Thank you,” he stated and his eyes held hers. Erin could see a question in their steely depths.
“It’s no problem,” she replied, doubting her own words as she thought about the headstrong blonde girl.
Kane looked at her and seemed unconvinced. “You don’t have to mince words with me. I know that Krista’s a handful!”
“I can handle her,” Erin insisted.
“I know.” Still he hesitated, and in the dimly lit hallway Erin could sense an uneasiness creep over both of them. It was the same feeling that seemed to keep them from completely trusting each other. He began to reach for her and then let his hand drop. “I’ll be back as soon as I can….”
“I’m sure it won’t be long,” she agreed, knowing that her voice sounded feeble. What was it that was bothering her? Something didn’t seem right. “I thought that the repairmen fixed the computer on Friday,” she puzzled, shaking her head in an effort to remember the details of Friday afternoon. “Yes, I’m sure that we got a call around five o’clock, stating that all systems were go.”
Kane’s jaw flexed. “Apparently there have been additional problems.” His voice was strangely devoid of emotion—cold.
“Odd, isn’t it?” she murmured. “Oh, well.” She lifted her shoulders and managed a sincere smile. “Try to hurry home….”
His sudden and powerful embrace surprised and baffled her. His arms held her closely, tightly, as if he were afraid she might disappear. His strength imprisoned her, and she could hear the hammering of his heart, belying his calm exterior of a few moments before. His breathing was labored and uneven. She couldn’t see his eyes as her face was crushed, almost savagely, against his chest. There was anger in his strength and passion in his words. They were torn from him as if his admission were painfully traitorous.
“God, but I’ve missed you, Erin,” he breathed, and the pressure against the curve of her spine increased. “I’ve had dreams about you, ached for you…”
“Shhh…” Before he could utter another word, Erin checked his speech by placing a trembling finger against the warmth of his lips. “Later,” she whispered, cocking her head toward the open doorway to his apartment. “I’d better go inside and check on Krista.” Erin knew that she was shaking from the intensity of his passion, but she controlled the urge to reach up and trace the angled contour of his cheeks with her fingers.
Kane reluctantly let his embrace loosen and an unreadable, agonized expression passed over his face. “I won’t be gone long—it should only take a minute….”
“Don’t be too sure,” she laughed hollowly as she stepped back toward the apartment. “Computer problems tend to be complicated….”
“That they do,” he whispered cryptically, and let his eyes rove over her face searchingly. What did he expect to find? Finally he tore his gaze away from her and threw open the door before stepping into the night. If only Erin could guess the real reason that he had been summoned to the bank on this black, rain-drenched night, Kane thought sardonically. If only she knew that he was aware of the fact that another three thousand dollars had slipped out of the dividend account during his absence. Oh, Erin, he thought as he drove toward the winking lights of Seattle. His grip tightened on the steering wheel, and the tires of the black sports car screamed against the pressure of a corner taken too recklessly. Why, he wondered—oh, God, why?
Erin straightened her shoulders before she entered the tiny apartment and let the door whisper shut behind her. At the sound of the soft noise Krista stirred and looked longingly at the door with cold disbelieving eyes.
Mentally Erin fortified herself. She could tell that the upcoming evening was going to be a test of will between herself and Kane’s stubborn daughter. And although Erin was an adult, and the old Victorian house was “her turf,” she felt at a distinct disadvantage to the blonde girl who had folded her arms defiantly over
her small chest. Erin dreaded the argument that she knew was simmering in the air. Forcing herself to appear more collected than she felt, she walked back to the table and ignored Krista’s wounded look as she spoke softly to the child. Erin’s voice was friendly but firm.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” she asked the girl, and motioned to a basket of sourdough rolls at her end of the table.
Silence.
Erin gritted her teeth together in frustration and noticed that Krista hadn’t touched any of the food on her plate. Once again Erin attempted to communicate. “How about a glass of milk?”
Nothing.
“Krista,” Erin said, commanding the girl’s attention, and bracing herself for the inevitable confrontation. “I’d like it very much if we could be friends.”
Cold fearful blue eyes surveyed Erin as if seeing her for the first time. Pouty pink lips pressed into an insolent line. “I don’t like you!” Krista hissed in a trembling voice.
Erin sucked in her breath but bravely continued the stilted conversation. “Why? Why don’t you like me? Is it because I’m a friend of your father’s?”
“I don’t want to like you—and I won’t!” Defiance and anger were evident in the tilt of Krista’s finely shaped chin.
Erin sighed wearily and sat down in the chair opposite the rebellious girl with the fearful eyes. Their gazes locked and Erin found herself folding and refolding the napkin in her lap, while contemplating a way to bridge the gap that existed between her and Kane’s daughter. She took in the challenging look on the girl’s face, the proud carriage of Krista’s head, and then Erin’s gaze touched upon the empty wheelchair. Compassion washed over Erin. Krista was bearing a heavy cross.
“You don’t have to like me,” Erin stated simply, and a look of astonishment softened Krista’s defiant features. “It’s up to you.”
Once again Erin paid full attention to her meal and hoped it seemed that she was enjoying her food, while all the time her stomach was twisting into knots of revulsion against the meal. It took all of Erin’s will to finish the cold and suddenly tasteless meal.
It was several minutes before the silence was broken. Krista’s small voice trembled and Erin politely looked at the girl. “They were getting back together, you know!” Krista announced, and toyed with the food on her plate.
“Pardon me?”
“Mother and Daddy. They were going to get married again. Mother told me so!” Krista’s face was set for the denial she expected from Erin.
“Were they?” Erin asked calmly.
“You bet!” the girl nearly shouted. “And it would have been soon too. And…and…we were all going to be a family again!”
Erin listened intently, not knowing exactly how to respond to Krista’s outburst. She studied Krista and saw the turbulent play of emotions that was contorting the beautiful child’s face.
“We were going to be together again. We were!” she proclaimed, tears glistening in her round eyes. “If only Mama hadn’t died…I know we would!” Her frail voice caught and tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.
Erin’s heart bled for the small girl at the other end of the table. Dropping her fork onto the plate, she got up and hurried to Krista’s side. She let her hand touch the sobbing shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” Erin whispered.
“No, you’re not!” the child sniffed. “If Mama was alive, then you couldn’t have Daddy. He loved her! He did!” By this time Krista’s body was racked with her uncontrolled weeping, and Erin let her arm reach tentatively around the slim shoulders.
“Don’t touch me,” Krista screamed. “Don’t you dare touch me!” She pushed her chair back from the table and attempted to reach for the wheelchair. Erin knew that the situation was getting dangerously out of control, and she tried to help Krista by pushing the wheelchair in the girl’s direction.
“I can do it myself!” Krista declared, and to Erin’s surprise, the slender girl braced herself on the table’s edge and took a few hesitant steps before falling into her mechanical chair.
They faced each other as if they were opponents on a battlefield. Each one eyed the other distrustfully. Hesitantly Erin drew herself up to her full height, and her lilac gaze rested on her ward for the evening. How was it possible to handle Krista? There was no answer but the obvious.
“Krista,” Erin said, and offered the girl a tissue to dry her eyes. “I want you to know that there’s no rule stating that you have to like me. All I ask is that you give me a chance, an honest chance. And, for your father’s sake, I’m asking you to be, at least, civil to me. Is that so much to ask?”
“I don’t want a new mother!” the girl cried, nearly hysterical.
“I understand that, and…I respect it,” Erin agreed, still holding the tissue out to the child. “No one has the right to step into someone else’s shoes, unless they’re asked. I’m sure that your mother was a very wonderful woman, and that she loved you very much, but, unfortunately, I can’t bring her back to you. Nobody can.” Erin’s eyes had begun to fill with tears as she looked into a face that was much too young to understand death. “I hope you know that whatever happens between your father and me, that I would never attempt to take the place of your mother—that’s a promise!”
Krista stared silently at Erin for what seemed an eternity before taking the tissue and wiping the stain of tears from her cheeks. Assured that the girl was poised again, Erin turned toward the kitchen and hastily wiped her own tears with the cuff of her blouse. She hoped that Krista hadn’t seen her tears or her weakness.
For the rest of the evening, while Erin cleared the table and cleaned the dishes, Krista brooded in a corner of the room, pretending interest in the empty fireplace. Erin offered to build a fire, but Krista had withdrawn back into her shell and didn’t respond to the invitation. Therefore, Erin shrugged her shoulders and acted as if it didn’t matter in the least to her, one way or the other, before turning back to the task of straightening the kitchen. But she sensed that beneath Krista’s cold exterior, the girl had begun to thaw.
Whenever Krista didn’t think that Erin would notice, she studied the black-haired woman with interest. So this was the lady that her father was falling to pieces over. Although this Erin creature was very unlike her mother, Krista couldn’t help but admire Erin’s mettle. Maybe Seattle wouldn’t be quite as bad as she had imagined.
* * *
It was late when Kane returned to the apartment house. He parked the car and sat motionless for several minutes, just staring into the darkness of the night. He was emotionally drained to the point of exhaustion, and he had the urge to restart the car and head to the closest tavern. He wanted a drink—make that several drinks—and then he wanted to fall into bed and sleep for days. He didn’t want to face Krista and endure another fight, and he couldn’t face Erin, not now.
He groaned when he thought about the scene at the bank: the evidence, the fear and the anger as Jim Haney explained about the latest development in the embezzling operation. Not only was three thousand dollars missing, but Jim had learned from Olivia Parsons that Erin had met with Mitchell Cameron on the day of his arraignment hearing—the very day the money was transferred from the dividend account. The only good news was that Jim had traced the money’s path and it would only be a matter of days before he had sifted through all of the departmental checks to find one that was out of balance with the general ledger. At last the torture of the unknown would end, and Kane realized bitterly that Erin would be caught.
Erin was sitting in a chair, engrossed in a mystery novel, when Kane let himself into the apartment. Her black hair was wound into a loose ponytail, her glasses were perched on the end of her nose, and her legs were curled comfortably beneath her. As Kane saw her he was reminded of the first time he had seen her, dressed much the same and crouched in a pile of legal documents at the bank. He felt the same, now-familiar male response that he’d had several weeks ago. He wanted to run to her, to scoop her up in his arms
, to crush her against him and to bury his head in the soft warmth of her breasts. Even now, suspecting what he did about her and knowing he was deathly close to the truth, he wanted her as he had never wanted another woman.
“Hi,” Erin greeted him, and pulled her glasses off her face. She laid the book and the glasses on an upturned box that she was using as a table, stood up and stretched. It was an unconscious and provocative gesture that made Kane’s blood heat as he watched the fabric of her clothes mold tightly to her body. Her eyes found his. “Can I get you anything? There’s quite a few leftovers….”
He stood in the doorway, his shoulders drooped in resignation. Though she could tell that he, in his own way, was glad to see her, there was a strange look on his face.
“Are you well?” she asked.
“What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” he responded, and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Were the computer problems that difficult?”
“The what? Oh, no, the computer is fine. But you know how it is, one problem seems to lead to another, and before you know it, the half-hour that you planned to be gone has stretched into three.” His voice was vague, distant, and Erin wondered if he was trying to tell her something.
“How’s Krista?” Kane asked, and dropped to the floor. He grabbed a loose pillow for his head and patted the floor next to him, inviting Erin to sit next to him on the floor.
“We got along fine,” Erin replied, and leaned against Kane, who cocked a dubious eyebrow. “Well, it wasn’t easy—not at first,” she admitted hesitantly. “But we worked things out.”