“Yeah,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets, and I see his tears now.
“Well, the answer to that is no,” I tell him. “I didn’t love,” I say, putting my arms around my stomach. “I love you.”
“What?” he whispers.
“I love you, Miller. Everything about you, from the way you do the sweetest things for me to making sure I’m always okay. To just holding my hand and showing you how a woman needs to be treated. Showing me that it’s okay to open your heart,” I say, not even caring that I’m crying or that in two point three seconds, I’m going to be a blubbering mess. “I love you so much it hurts to see you. I love you so much that I let you go. I set you free so you can find that woman who has not been divorced and who is pure.”
“What the fuck?” he says out. “A woman who is pure?”
“Yeah!” I shout out. “One who hasn’t been tainted by divorce. That can be yours and yours alone!”
“I don’t give a flying fuck if you were divorced a thousand times,” he says, running his hands through his hair. “I care that you lied to me.”
“Why do you even care now?” I say, angry that we have to hash this out. Angry that he is here and instead of being swept away by him, I’m feeling more pain than I did before. “It’s been a month now. You blocked me.” I point at myself. “You moved on. Just let me be,” I say, grabbing the door for support. “In a month, I’ll be gone, and we never have to see each other again.”
“What?” he says. “You’re leaving?” He puts his hand to his chest. “You can’t leave. Did you not get my text?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head.
It’s his turn to talk. “I love you so much that my chest hurts,” he starts telling me. “I love you so much that I don’t sleep in my bed.” I open my mouth. “I love you so much that I kept trying to think of ways to make it up to you. I kept trying to come up with ways to get you back. I thought that I would do it the next day, but I kept thinking that if you wanted me, you would have come to me.”
“I came to you!” I shout, wiping a tear away. “I came to you.” I walk out now. “You let me go.”
“If you give me a chance,” he says. “I’ll never let you go again.” His voice breaks at the end.
I put my hand in front of my mouth and sob out. He takes two steps to me, and I’m enveloped in his arms. His arms wrap around my waist as he picks me up, and my legs and arms automatically wrap around him. I bury my face in his neck, smelling him in. “What took you so long?” I ask him quietly.
“Fucking Google,” he says, and I throw my head back, and I laugh but only for a minute because his lips find mine.
Chapter 36
Miller
My tongue slips into her mouth, and I forget about everything. My heart soars in my chest, and I pull back from her mouth and just hold her in my arms. She lays her head on my shoulder and buries her face in my neck.
Walking into the dark house, I go straight to her bedroom. “I missed you.” I hear her whisper when I sit on the bed. For the whole day, I was strung up, snapping at everyone—my parents, my siblings, journalists, the equipment manager, just about anyone who tried to approach me. Then I walked out and saw her laughing with my parents, and alI I wanted was to hold her by my side and tell them that this was her. This was the woman who I was in love with. But she ran off, somehow disgusted by me, and all I could think about is that the last time she saw me, I was with another woman.
“I missed you so much,” I say to her, and I suddenly want the lights on. I want to see her. I lean forward and turn on the lamp beside her bed, illuminating the room in a soft yellow. “We have to talk,” I tell her, enough with the silence between us.
She is about to climb off my lap, but I tighten my hold around her. She looks into my eyes, and I can’t help but lean in just to touch her lips. Her hand comes up to rub the scruff on my face. “Hi,” she whispers, leaning in again just to touch my lips with hers. “You’re here,” she says, and I see a tear forming in the corner of her eye. She kisses me again. “I’m not dreaming.”
“You’re not dreaming, gorgeous,” I say. She hangs her head and buries her face in my chest. My hands find her face and pick it up so she looks at me. The tears rolling down her cheeks kill me. “No more tears.”
“I never wanted to keep it from you,” she says softly. “I just …” She shrugs. “I didn’t want you to judge me.”
“For starters, I don’t give a flying fuck that you were married. I actually should send him a fruit basket or something.” Her eyebrows close together. “If he wasn’t such an asshole, I wouldn’t be here with you.”
“I mean, if you put it like that, we should send him flowers, too.” She tries to joke and sniffles.
“The second part, I forgot about you being married five minutes after you left my house.” I push her hair behind her ear. “I followed you home,” I tell her, and she opens her eyes. “I should have come after you. I should have parked the car and got out and had the balls to talk to you.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “But I was scared you’d tell me you didn’t love me. I was afraid I was the only one who felt this. I was afraid that after everything was said and done, you didn’t want me like that.”
“I know it’s too late,” she says, “but I was going to tell you that weekend. I couldn’t continue like that. It was just too heavy on my heart, and you needed to know the truth.”
“Just so you know,” I say, “I loved you then. The time away from you, it killed me slowly inside. Not to come home to you. Not to speak to you. I used to listen to you every single day. I would close my eyes and pretend you were beside me. I was a shell of a man. I spent Christmas with you on my mind. I drove by here when I got back from my parents’, and the lights were off, so I thought you were out.”
“I spent it with Grandma, but then I came home and cried.” She smiles shyly. “I cried a lot this month. I would go to bed and wake up sobbing. It was too hard. Watching you on television every night and then talking about you as if you were a stranger, as if my heart wasn’t broken. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was going to ask to be transferred tomorrow.”
The thought that she would have just left without me knowing is like a kick in the balls.
“I was so stupid.” I kiss her lips. “Tonight after the game, I skated off the ice, and I went looking for you. I almost ran down a couple of reporters, and then I found some lady who works with the radio station, and she said you left because you weren’t feeling well. I played the whole game so you could be proud of me. I played, hoping you would see me, and when I got off, all I wanted was you. I wanted to hug you and kiss you. I needed you by my side.” I look down. “I never moved on.” I repeat the words that she threw in my face. “I was dancing with Patrick’s sister. When I saw you walk in, my heart … it just started beating. You were so beautiful I had no words, and then you smiled and walked away, and I was just stuck. All I could think was I had to get to you, but then you were gone.”
“I went there to try to win you back,” she tells me, and my breath hitches in my chest. “I was going to tell you that I love you and hoped that you loved me, too. But then I just … I …” She brings her hand up and rubs away a tear with the back of her thumb. “I wanted you to be happy, so if she made you happy, I had to accept it.”
“You,” I tell her. “You are my happy. You are my everything. You.” I kiss her lips. “I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I’m so sorry that I wasted this whole month.”
“I’m not,” she says, and she smiles. “I don’t think I would have known how much I love you had this not happened. I knew that what I was feeling was love. I knew that I was teetering on uncharted territory. We just clicked so easily, and it wasn’t even a struggle. It just came so naturally that I thought it was all in my head, and then I didn’t have you, and I knew.” She puts her hands on my chest. “I knew that you …” She smiles as two tears roll down her cheeks. “Had wormed your way into my heart.” She laughs and s
hakes her head. “I know it’s crazy to even say. It’s only been a little while, and well …”
I grab her face in my hands. “I get it. I know now that you are a piece of me. I know that I want to be with you all the time. I want you to be there when I get home, and I want to wake up with you next to me. I want to hold your hand and take you out. I want them to know that there is no me without you.”
“Make love to me,” she says. I peel her sweater off her and toss it aside. Her tank top is a little bit loose on her.
I just stare at her, and she hugs her waist. “I know I lost a bit of weight.”
“Nothing that a few carbs and a little love can’t cure.” I smile at her and then look up. “I don’t have a condom.” I want to kick my own ass right now.
“I haven’t been with anyone,” she says and then looks down. I can imagine what’s going through her mind.
I put my finger under her chin and raise her head until she is looking in my eyes. “There has been no one.” I see her breathe a sigh of relief. “Are you on the pill?” I ask, and I suddenly realize I don’t give a shit if she gets pregnant.
“I am,” she says, and I slide her tank top off, tossing it over to where her sweater is. She pulls my shirt apart, and I see a button fly. “I missed you,” she says. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she squeezes our bare chests together. My lips crash onto hers as I spin us, placing her down on her back. Her legs open for me, and I sit back to grab her shorts and peel them over her hips when she arches her back.
She lies there in front of me naked, and my mouth waters. “Every single day, I would go to bed thinking of your face. Every day, I would fall asleep to my memories of holding you. Of you saying my name.” I unbutton my pants, pulling them down as she just watches me.
I lean forward now with my cock in my hand, rubbing it up and down her slit, and I ever so slowly slide into her. We both moan when I’m all the way in her, and her legs tighten around my waist. My mouth goes to her as I make love to her. Soft, slow, and savoring every fucking moment. “I love you.” I breathe out when she lets go of my lips and kisses my neck. “I love you,” I repeat over and over again, pounding into her faster now, harder now.
“More.” She arches her back and begs me for more, and I give it to her. I give her everything.
“Mine,” I say as I slam into her. “Fucking mine,” I say right before we both jump off the ledge.
Chapter 37
Layla
When I wake, I’m surrounded in warmth and then feel a hand on my breast. Opening my eyes, I smile when I realize I’m cocooned in his arms. It’s not a dream. Throughout the whole night, I kept waking up just to make sure he was still here and that I didn’t dream he came back.
Seeing him at the door was one thing, but hearing the words that came out of his mouth and having him say he loved me was so much more than I could ever imagine. He told me he loved me over and over again all night long.
“Morning,” I say, turning in his arms. I hook my leg over his hip, leaving me open and right on top of his cock. “Hmm, and what a good morning it is,” I say, sliding down. He moans and rolls onto his back. His hands grasp my hips as I ride him, then move up to my tits where he cups them and rolls my nipples. I look down, seeing all the bite marks along with the little red dots from his beard. My hands rest on his chest while I move up and down. He waits for me to come before he flips me over like a rag doll. My legs and arms wrap around him, wanting to be even closer. My muscles scream as I moan out again, and he buries himself deep in me coming again.
He collapses on top of me and then turns us to the side to take his weight off me. “Morning,” he says, kissing my neck, and I cuddle into his chest. My stomach growls, and he laughs. “Well, I guess that means we should get up and head over to my house. My parents are expecting me.”
I try to relax the thumping of my heart as he slowly peels himself off me. He gets up, and I follow him into the bathroom. He stands by the sink with the warm water on as I start the shower and step in. “What should I wear?” I ask, putting my face up under the water spray. “Should I wear a dress or jeans?” I look over at him to see him leaning against the sink, looking at me.
“It doesn’t matter what you wear. You look gorgeous in anything,” he says with a smirk. I see his cock getting ready for another round, so I hold up my hand.
“We are not going to be late because we had another round.” He laughs at me as I get out and wrap myself in a towel and rush out of the room. I step into the closet and look at all my options. “What color should I wear?”
“Pack a bag!” he shouts.
I slip on a black pair of jeans and pull on a soft pink long-sleeved cashmere sweater over my bra. The high neck covers any marks he could have left on me. I walk back into the bedroom and see him already dressed with his pants and shirt on. “Does this give off the ‘I love your son please like me’ vibes?” I turn around. “Or should I wear a longer sweater that covers more?”
He laughs now. “That looks fine.” He starts to button his shirt and realizes four buttons are missing. “Did you pack a bag?”
“Yeah,” I say. “When do you leave?” I ask him, hating it already.
“I leave for eight days next Wednesday, so pack for a week,” he tells me, and I just nod at him. If he had told me this before, I would have glared at him and told him that he was not the boss of me. I mean, he is still not the boss of me, but now, I don’t even care, to be honest. I just want to be with him.
He eyes my bag when I walk out of the closet carrying it. “I said eight days,” he says as he grabs the bag from me.
“I plan to be naked for most of those days, so I only need a couple of things.” I shrug, and he comes over and kisses me.
“I like the whole naked idea,” he says. Grabbing my hand, we start to walk out of the house, and I stop.
“I should take my car,” I say. “I have to work on Monday.”
“I have five cars,” he tells me. “You can take one of mine.”
“That makes no sense.” We just stare at each other because we’re at an impasse.
“We are going to be late, and you know my parents are not going to believe that we are late because we got into a fight. Especially after I haven’t seen you in a month.” I open my mouth to argue with him. “You do have that glow about you.” I put my hands to my cheeks. “You look gorgeous. Now let’s go before I take you back inside, and we’re really, really late.”
He opens the car door for me, and I walk to him, tilting my head up and waiting for him to kiss me. He kisses my lips, and I get into his car and watch him walk around the car. I look out the window as we make our way to his house. The butterflies in my stomach are uncontrollable at this point.
“I legit think I’m going to vomit,” I say, putting a hand to my stomach as soon as he pulls up to his house and parks in the garage. He leans over to kiss me softly and then gets out of the car, walking around and opening my door. When he holds his hand out, I grab it to get out of the car. “I’m not kidding,” I say as he practically pulls me to the front door.
“Gorgeous.” He cups my face in his hands. “They are going to love you. How can they not?” he says, opening the door.
Closing my eyes, I breathe through my nose and can smell the food cooking already. I stop walking. “I didn’t get her flowers or a cake.”
“What?” he asks, and I can hear talking coming from the kitchen.
“I’m showing up empty-handed,” I say, starting to panic. “Who does that? It’s like rule book 101.”
“Says who?” he asks, folding his arms over his chest.
“Google,” I tell him, and he throws his head back and laughs so loud I hear the talking in the kitchen stop. “Great, now I can’t escape.”
“Where the hell were you going to go?” he asks me, and before I can answer, I hear a woman’s voice.
“Oh, you’re here,” she says. I look over and see a woman wearing jeans and a sweater with an apron o
ver it. “The food is almost ready.” She walks to us. “Sweetheart!” she shouts over her shoulder. “Layla and Miller are here.” She stops in front of me, and I want to tell her I’m sorry about taking off on her yesterday. I also want to tell her that I’m sorry I didn’t tell her who I was. God, could there have been a more awkward time than right now? The only thing I can do is smile at her.
“Mom,” Miller says, putting his arm around me, most likely to keep me from bolting. “This is Layla. Layla, this is my mom, Sara.” I’m about to answer her when I hear another voice.
“Oh, good, honey.” Turning my head, I’m shocked to hear my grandmother's voice as she rushes over to hug me. “You are here.” She then turns to Miller and winks at him. “Well, well, well, we meet again.” She kisses his cheek. “I was just telling your parents about our first date.”
My mouth opens as I see Miller’s father looking at his son. “You ran away from her.” He points at him, and I just stand here.
“What’s going on right now?” I ask, hoping someone answers me.
“Miller thought it would be a good idea for us to have breakfast together,” Grandma Nancy says with a huge smile.
The oven beeps just then, making Sara turn to look at his dad. “The casserole is ready,” she says. “Sweetheart, let’s get the table set.” With a smile, he follows her into the kitchen.
“I have to say I’m a bit disappointed in you, Miller,” Grandma says, turning to follow his parents. “I thought after a whole month of not seeing each other that she would have trouble walking today. Or even limping.” She shakes her head.
“I’ll have you know she was.” With a shriek, I slap a hand over his mouth before he says something I don’t want my grandmother or his parents to hear. She throws her head back and laughs out loud as she walks to the kitchen.
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