“Why did they do it?”
Mae heaved a sigh. I knew it must be difficult to talk about, but I wanted to understand it. To understand her.
“For trying to escape. I tried to leave,” she explained.
“Leave home?”
“Leave town, leave the community.”
I was trying to put the pieces together. “So you tried to escape the town, and you got caught, and they punished you for it.”
Mae nodded.
“Did they bring you to jail or something?”
“No. Church.”
My face scrunched. “They punished you in church?”
Church was supposed to be a safe place. I mean, I knew there was confession, and some people inflicted pain as a kind of atonement in the old days, but I’d never heard of a modern church inflicting pain on their own congregation.
“That’s where they do pretty much anything that involves the community,” Mae went on. “Where they decide everything, have ceremonies, confessions. Everything is public.”
“Why?”
“They say it’s to keep it in front of the eyes of the Lord.”
“In front of God?”
Mae bit her lip. “Yes, but they believe in a different kind of God.”
She let that sit for a moment. I felt my cheeks get hot.
“The devil,” I said. That word hung in the air like an ax.
I pushed onward. “So other people watched this happen to you?”
“They make everyone watch.”
As I tried to imagine this scenario, I felt nauseous. “Why?” I had to know.
“It’s a warning. So other people don’t try to leave. It’s supposed to teach everyone a lesson. Even the children,” she added.
“Kids watched this happen?”
Mae nodded. “I wasn’t the only one. They’ve done it before…”
My brain was melting trying to make sense of the fact that human beings would do this to other human beings, in front of a group of human beings. It seemed like something from the Middle Ages, when they still burned people at the stake.
“Why do they mark you?”
“It’s a warning. That I’ll always be theirs.” Mae’s head sank. “I’ll never be free from them.”
I swallowed. I didn’t doubt she was telling the truth, but it all seemed too awful to believe.
“Is that what you think?” I asked, my voice trying to contain my unease. “That you’ll never be free from them?”
Mae lifted her head, catching her own gaze in the mirror.
“No,” she seemed to firm her resolve right there in the moment. “I’m going to prove them wrong.”
We sat silently.
“I’m sorry I was weird to you after school,” I admitted. “I had it in my head that you and Sebastian were—” I felt stupid even saying it out loud. “Never mind,” I went on. “It was dumb.”
Mae turned to me, met my hazel eyes with her green ones.
“You’re a good friend, Jules,” she said, which made me feel extra horrible about thinking she was flirting with Sebastian.
“Thanks,” I returned, relieved that we had moved on from the awkwardness.
Then, she put her palm on my hand and held it. Her skin was cold, like a porcelain doll.
“I’ve—never really had a friend,” she revealed.
I felt my chest get warm. It made me feel good to be someone’s first real friend. It made me feel—
Special.
Isaac had been my first best friend, but I’d never had a best girl friend, even though I’d always wanted one. But I didn’t share that. I pushed past the sappy moment and joked, “Should we prick our fingers and smush our blood together?”
Mae looked at me, confused.
“It was a joke. It’s a thing people do to prove their friendship or something. I saw it in a movie once.”
“I know what a blood pact is,” Mae returned, letting go of my hand as she stood up. “Good night, Jules,” she concluded, turning off one of the bedside table lamps and climbing into bed, still wrapped in the towel. I guessed that was my cue to leave.
“Good night,” I returned, standing.
CHAPTER 22
BEEP. THE MICROWAVE DINGED AS SUZANNE PULLED THE door open, then poured the hot water into her mug, refreshing her tea.
She was on a quick break between patients and had just talked to a man who was convinced that Tupac was still alive and only he could stop the murder. Suzanne had tried to reason—after she Googled who Tupac was—that it was highly unlikely that the man could have prevented the rapper’s death.
Recapping her mug, Suzanne spotted Connie, sitting at a computer terminal in the nurses’ station.
“Siamese?” Suzanne ventured as she approached, regarding Connie’s crisp new scrub top adorned with cats.
Connie glanced at a cartoon feline playing with a ball of yarn on her shoulder and grinned.
“Aren’t they cute? I ordered it online,” Connie shared. “Got two of them—that way I can alternate.”
“You’re always so prepared, Connie.” Suzanne glanced up at the wall clock. The long hand was just past the six.
“Lunch looked good downstairs. Can’t wait to try that chocolate cake for dessert. I think it had raspberries in it,” Suzanne subtly tempted.
Connie looked up at the clock. “Would you look at that? Lunchtime already. Time flies, doesn’t it,” she chuckled to herself.
She heaved herself off the creaky swivel chair, which was in dire need of being replaced.
“Time to get myself some lunch. Annnnd maybe a little piece of that cake. I did work a double yesterday,” she mused, excusing the treat.
Connie paced off. As soon as she was around a corner, Suzanne surveyed the station area. There were a few other nurses at computer terminals, but they all seemed consumed with files or gossip.
Suzanne sank down onto the chair, sitting carefully so as not to make it creak. She reached for the ancient mouse and searched the screen. After clicking a few folders, she finally found what she was looking for.
“Bingo,” Suzanne smiled.
She sent the file to print.
CHAPTER 23
“WHAT’S UP?” HELEN PRESSED MY MOTHER.
We were sitting across from her at the kitchen table, where Mom had gathered me, Helen, and Dani. I glanced at the stove clock to check the time. It was the movie night for the Regal staff, and Dad was giving me and Mae a ride to Sebastian’s house to watch it with the rest of the crew. Sebastian had invited Mae because he’d asked her to help out on some projects—with all the new actions he was taking this year, the paper was short-staffed.
“Well,” my mom started, speaking slowly and deliberately. Warning bells immediately went off in my head. Anytime she used that voice it triggered Danger: Mom Talk.
“I wanted to check in with you girls and see how you were doing.”
“I’m awesome!” Dani returned without missing a beat. “Rehearsals are going amazing. I’m really finding the role.”
“That’s wonderful,” Mom affirmed. “But I was thinking more about our—home life.”
“You wanted to see how we’re feeling about Mae?” Helen guessed, always the perfect student.
“Exactly, Helen. I know that Mae has been staying with us a little longer than expected. We’re still looking into foster care for her, but haven’t found the right home. I think she’s doing well here. And since she’s been making so much progress—integrating with you girls, making friends at school—I wanted to see if you’d be okay with her staying a little while longer.”
This seemed like a logical thing to ask, but I was curious why it meant so much to Mom—I know she liked helping people and all because of her job, but I wondered if there was something more specific, something that I didn’t know about.
“It probably won’t be that much longer,” Mom went on. “We just need to make sure she finds a place that’s comfortable for her. Helen, any thoughts?”
&n
bsp; “It’s fine with me,” Helen said, shrugging. If it didn’t have to do with her or Landon or her friends, Helen couldn’t really care less.
“Dani, what are your feelings about it?” Mom probed.
“I’m okay with it,” Dani agreed, oblivious to most things around the house. “But how ’bout Jules stays in Helen’s room now?”
“No way!” Helen shot back.
“Gee, thanks, Helen,” I cracked.
“I have a lot going on, Jules,” Helen insisted, like I had no idea what it was like to be an Important Person.
“Girls,” Mom interrupted. “I think the sleeping situation should remain as is for now, and we can discuss it further later.” She then turned to me. “Jules? Are you okay with Mae staying a little longer?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. I liked having Mae around, but I admit I was disturbed by seeing that satanic scar on her back. And the freak-out in the cemetery had been pretty scary. And the chanting at school … Maybe I should say something about it to Mom.
The kitchen door swung open.
“Jules, your dad’s here to take us to Sebastian’s—”
I swiveled to see Mae standing in the doorway. She looked so innocent, her face glowing with excitement.
“Oh, sorry,” she excused herself, seeing me in a Serious Conversation with my mom and sisters. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“We were just finishing up!” Mom smiled. “Jules, you okay with—what we discussed?” Mom asked vaguely as to not make Mae feel bad that we’d just been talking about her.
All eyes were on me—including Mae’s.
“Of course,” I smiled. “All good.”
* * *
Sebastian greeted us with a warm grin at his front door. His T-shirt read THE FUTURE IS FEMALE. If I could have married him right there I would have.
“Come in!” he waved.
His house was cozy and full of books. It looked like the kind of place where he and his parents played Scrabble while talking about art. Sign me up.
“Oh, how cute!” Mae exclaimed, petting a small fluffy dog that had made its way over to her.
“She’s a Havanese.” Sebastian beamed. “Rescue. We call her Athena.”
“Hi, Athena,” Mae cooed.
In the den a bunch of Regal staffers were packed in, sitting on couches or the floor, eating popcorn and drinking bottled ginger beer.
“My mother loves it,” Sebastian explained. “‘Looks like a beer but tastes much better,’ she says.”
“I don’t like the taste of beer either,” I said.
He cracked the tops off two bottles and handed them to me and Mae. I liked the sweet bubbles and sharp kick of the ginger. Way better than beer.
As Sebastian readied the TV for All the President’s Men, Mae and I looked for seats. She squeezed into a spot on the floor next to Zeke and a freshman girl.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
where are you?
It was a text from Isaac. Crap, I forgot we were supposed to work on our Social Studies presentation tonight, and canceling had slipped my mind.
been waiting at library for half hour
I texted back—
regal thing
so sorry forgot 2 tell u
I waited for the reply bubble to pop up, but it didn’t. I wished he weren’t so sensitive, even though he was in the right.
my bad, I added.
Still nothing.
“Jules, sit here.” I turned to see Sebastian patting the seat of the big leather armchair that remained empty, presumably for him.
“Where are you going to sit?” I wondered, turning my phone to silent and slipping it into the pocket of my chocolate brown cords.
He looked around the room. “Mae, is there room next to you?”
Mae glanced to her sides—there wasn’t really.
“We can both fit,” I offered to Sebastian, squishing over to one side of the cushy chair.
“Sure,” he said, sinking down next to me.
Um, watching an old movie sitting next to Sebastian had just become my new definition of heaven.
“Great job on Thalia, by the way,” he complimented my last “People You Don’t Know” column. “Should we do Michael Wells next? He’s such an amazing pianist.” He clicked the Blu-ray remote play button.
“Awesome idea,” I whispered as the opening sounds of the film filled the room. I could feel my right side up against his warm body.
As the film started, I glanced down to the floor and saw that Mae was looking at me. I’m sure my face was beaming.
She smiled at me, then turned back to the film.
My life could not be going any better.
CHAPTER 24
DR. MATHIS: Is this—? Okay, looks like it’s working. All right! So, I am here with— Do you want to say your name?
MAE: Mae. Dodd.
DR. MATHIS: Thank you, Mae. So, I know you’ve been talking to Dr. Brenner at the hospital now. How is it going with your sessions?
MAE: It’s fine.
DR. MATHIS: Do you feel like they’re helping you?
MAE: Um, I guess. He asks me how I feel a lot.
DR. MATHIS: About?
MAE: Like day to day, how things are going. And about—what happened to me.
DR. MATHIS: Would you be open to talking about what happened to you with me?
MAE: [Pause.] Okay.
DR. MATHIS: Thank you. Mae, why do you think they did this to you? What happened to your back?
[Mae takes a deep breath.]
MAE: They didn’t want me to go away.
DR. MATHIS: So they did this to you because they didn’t want you to leave, but then they subsequently left you by the side of the road. Why did they leave you there if they didn’t want you to go away?
MAE: I had tried to run away. Before. And they found me. That’s why they—did what they did to me. So that I would be reminded of them. And feel like I had to return.
DR. MATHIS: They branded you.
MAE: Yeah, like we do to the cows. We mark them. They think if they mark you, you will go back. Everyone else has.
DR. MATHIS: Everyone?
MAE: The other people they did this to.
DR. MATHIS: Can you tell me about these other instances? The other people?
MAE: I’m not supposed to, but … there was a girl once. I don’t remember much about it; I was really little. And then I heard about a boy, a while ago.
DR. MATHIS: What was his name?
MAE: Victor.
DR. MATHIS: Victor!
MAE: Yes. They … punished him after he ran away. And then he did it again, but they found him. Brought him back to town.
DR. MATHIS: Does he still live in Tisdale?
MAE: Yes. He delivers milk.
DR. MATHIS: And he told you about this? What happened to him?
MAE: No, he never talks about it. My brother told me.
DR. MATHIS: Older brother? Younger?
MAE: Older. I have a younger brother too, and a sister. Had a sister …
DR. MATHIS: What happened to her?
MAE: She died.
DR. MATHIS: When was this?
MAE: Almost a year ago. On the harvest moon. Our harvest moon’s usually the end of October or early November.
DR. MATHIS: I’m so sorry to hear that. How old was she?
MAE: Five.
DR. MATHIS: Did she die from an illness?
MAE: No. [A pause.] From pain.
DR. MATHIS: Pain? What do you mean by—
MAE: Drowning …
DR. MATHIS: She drowned?
MAE: I don’t want to talk about it.
DR. MATHIS: Okay, I understand. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.
So your brother told you about a boy named Victor, who they also—did the same thing to as they did to you. But you said no one else ever talks about it.
MAE: That’s right.
DR. MATHIS: Then why did your brother tell you
about it?
MAE: To warn me.
DR. MATHIS: Warn you about—?
MAE: Running away myself. He said that’s what would happen to me, if I ran away. He tried to make me stay. [Pause.] But I still left.
DR. MATHIS: Why did you want to leave?
MAE: It was—hard there. They made us work a lot. On the farm, or watching the other kids. I didn’t get to go to school that much. But I really liked to read. I found a few books and hid them under my mattress. I wrote too—poems. I had found a book of them, and tried to write my own. They weren’t very good. But then Mother discovered them. She got so angry. She told Father, and he—
[A quiet moment.]
They were hard on us. If we did anything wrong.
DR. MATHIS: How so?
MAE: They—beat us. With belts. Or whips, same ones they used on animals.
DR. MATHIS: They punished you corporally—on your body—if you did something they didn’t approve of?
MAE: Yes. Like if you said anything bad about a person, or questioned one of the leaders.
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