Needing to get out of this interaction immediately, I stepped around her.
“Good night,” she called after me as I sped down the hall.
As Dani and I got ready to go to sleep, I ventured to ask, “What do you think of Mae?”
“What do I think of her?” she returned, climbing under her pink bedspread.
“Yeah, like, do you trust her?”
Dani turned to me as I switched off the light. It was easier to talk in the dark.
“Totally. I mean, she’s kind of odd sometimes—like stiff or something. Like she doesn’t know how to act. But then again, you’re like that too sometimes.”
That wasn’t the answer I was looking for. I heaved a sigh as I lay down on the trundle.
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Jules,” my sister offered. “She’s just getting used to being in a new family.”
“I guess.” I didn’t want to agree with her, but she was actually making sense.
“Plus,” she added, “she’s taking me horseback riding this weekend.”
“What?!” I suddenly felt wide-awake.
“She knows how to ride, so she’s going to teach me. Mom’s driving us on Sunday. We talked about it after you practically ran out on dinner. Helen might even come too!”
I couldn’t believe it: Mae was icing me out of my own family.
* * *
That weekend, I had a volleyball game on Saturday. I’d reminded Mom about it in the morning as she put her travel tea mug into the sink without rinsing it. I wondered why she’d already been out so early. She agreed she’d be at my game, but Mom didn’t show up.
Stacy gave me a ride home again. If this kept up she was going to start thinking we were actually friends. I went into the kitchen to grab some juice and saw Mom there putting the kettle on for tea.
“Why weren’t you at my game?”
“What game?” Mom asked.
“The one I told you about this morning. You didn’t show.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, honey. I had some shopping to do with Mae. The boots we got her fit so well I thought we should get a second pair.”
It was very unusual for my mom to forget about something like this.
“You should have texted me, at least.”
“You’re right. I should have,” she admitted. Which made it hard for me to stay mad about it, she looked so upset about forgetting. “How can I make it up to you?”
Well this finally seemed like progress.
“We need to go over our trip,” I reminded her.
Mom and I still hadn’t settled on a game plan for our Chicago trip. There were so many museums, galleries, exhibits I wanted to see, we had to make a plan so we could book tickets and not miss any of it.
“And,” I added, “we have to discuss something else.” I wanted to get the idea in her head of giving me a new camera before Christmas, so that I could use it on the trip and for my “People You Don’t Know” portraits.
“Sure,” Mom answered, distractedly removing some files from her bag.
“Cool, I’ll go get my notebook!”
“Oh, not right now, honey.” Mom’s words stopped me. “I have too much work to catch up on. Let’s do it another time.”
“When? You never have time for anything anymore!” I burst out.
Mom could see that I was distraught. “I’m sorry, Jules, there’s a lot going on. I apologize for missing your game; that wasn’t right.”
I could tell she wasn’t lying; she did seem like her brain was constantly spinning silently, like an old film projector.
She stepped over to me and smoothed down my frizzy hair.
“I’m so proud of you—how great you’re doing in school, and the column, and all your new friends. And most of all I’m really happy you’ve taken Mae under your wing. It really means a lot to me.”
This hadn’t been where I’d expected me calling Mom out for not coming to my game would go.
“Okay” was about all I could answer.
The teakettle whistled. Mom removed it from the burner and plunked two green tea bags into mugs.
“You know I don’t like green tea,” I reminded her.
“Oh, this is for Mae. Did you want some?”
I stared at my mother. “No,” I answered flatly, and walked out.
CHAPTER 32
PETER ENTERED THE BEDROOM AND LOOSENED HIS TIE. “Honey?” he called, pulling the silk fabric off over his head.
Suzanne stepped out of the bathroom, brushing her teeth. “Hi,” she managed through cleaning her molars. “How was your day?”
“Long one, that’s for sure,” Peter returned, changing out of his suit into a pair of flannel pajamas. He’d been at work all day, even though it was a Saturday. “Merger’s going well, there’s just so many details.”
“God is in the details,” Suzanne replied.
“I thought the devil was in the details,” he mused.
Suzanne returned to the bathroom to rinse. “You missed a really good dinner,” she called to him over the water. “We had leftover Farmer’s Pie that Mae made.”
She headed back into the bedroom, wiping her face on the sleeve of her bathrobe. “I would have saved some for you, but we ate it all. There’s a frozen pizza, if you’re hungry,” she added.
She removed the bathrobe and climbed into bed in her light blue nightgown.
“Thanks, I ate at work,” he returned. “How was your day?”
She paused a brief moment, wondering if she should tell him about what she had actually done early this morning—trailing Victor Peterson from the convenience store where she’d tried to talk to him before back to his family’s dairy in the town of Tisdale, and almost getting out of her car to talk to him, until he had become surrounded by some fellow farmers so she couldn’t get him alone.
But she didn’t tell her husband any of that.
“The usual,” she answered, pulling the downy covers up around her. “I took Mae to get some new shoes this afternoon.”
“How was Jules’s game?”
“I didn’t go,” she admitted. “Got caught up running errands.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have gone to watch her play,” Peter replied, disappointed. He headed into the bathroom.
“It slipped my mind. I’m sorry. Oh hey, get this,” Suzanne called, trying to quickly change the subject. “Mae told me there are no newspapers in Tisdale. Literally. I mean, they don’t have TV or movies or anything, and hardly any books, but no newspapers! Can you imagine? It’s wild. They’re so disconnected from the outside world. It’s like nothing can get in.”
Peter returned from the bathroom and sank onto the edge of the bed next to her.
“Honey,” he started softly. “I think we should talk about Mae.”
“What about her?” Suzanne’s voice had an edge to it. Peter recoiled almost imperceptibly, unaccustomed to this kind of reaction from his wife. But he went on.
“Well, I’m concerned,” he confessed. “There’s something kind of—off about her. I know she’s been through a lot,” he continued before Suzanne could interject. “But she tried to—”
He struggled to figure out how to say this the right way.
“She tried to what?” Suzanne almost challenged.
He paused, then finally said, “Talk to me.”
Suzanne stared at her husband. “She tried to talk to you? What’s wrong with that?”
“‘Talk’ isn’t the right word.” He picked a piece of lint off the bedspread, then forced himself to just say it.
“She came on to me,” he admitted.
Suzanne was confused. “What do you mean, she came on to you?”
“The other night, after Dani’s dinner. You were in the kitchen, I think, and she came to me in my office. Asked if there was anything she could—do. Anything she could do to—repay me.”
Suzanne stared at him a moment, then laughed. “Peter, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t sound like she was coming on to you.”
This
wasn’t easy for him, but he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. “She was—propositioning me,” he explained. “I know what she was doing.”
Suzanne took this in, not sure how to respond.
Peter went on. “I assured her there was nothing she needed to do to stay here. We were happy to host her. But—that’s what happened. And I thought you should know.”
Suzanne attempted an explanation. “She was just trying to make a connection with you, Peter. As a father figure. That’s all.”
“Suzanne, I hate to say it, but I think this girl could have—different ideas about what the role of a father figure might be.”
Suzanne fluffed her pillows. “You’re overreacting,” she concluded. “You can’t blame her for being grateful to you for hosting her. It’s just a polite thing to do to offer to repay someone.”
Peter felt his frustration rising. “You’re not seeing things clearly, Suzanne! Since Mae got here you’ve been so distracted by your work, and all you’ve been concerned about is Mae. You haven’t been paying attention to your own family. To Helen, Dani—Jules.”
“That’s not true!” Suzanne argued. “How dare you say that I don’t love my children—”
“That’s not what I’m saying—”
“I admit I’ve been focused on work lately, but this is important, Peter. Mae is important. I have to help her. She’s been through a lot of trauma with her family. I need to help her through that,” she reasoned.
Peter looked his wife in the eye. He was still so in love with Suzanne. Had been ever since the moment he’d met her in high school when she’d moved to Remingham.
He softened his voice, then suggested kindly, “Are you sure this isn’t more about you?”
CHAPTER 33
A FEW DAYS LATER, I WAS SLOGGING THROUGH Spanish in the living room, but my mind kept spinning.
What was Mae’s deal? She was kind of nice but she was also kind of not. Was this the definition of a “frenemy”? At school, she was hanging out more and more with Larissa and her friends, and I kept “happening” to get left out of group texts and plans.
And with the whole Sebastian thing, she hadn’t brought it up again, but I noticed them together a lot, and she was even getting rides with him now. Traitor.
Around the house, Dani was consumed in her musical world, practicing incessantly in her room. I’d decided that musical theater on loop was a method of cruel and unusual punishment, forcing me to spend time in the living room exposed to interaction. Helen was obsessed with her college applications and wouldn’t talk to anyone unless it was about entrance statistics or how Landon would go to whatever college she wanted to attend. Dad had been working a ton, and Mom only seemed to have time for Mae.
I was starting to feel more alone than ever.
“Hola,” I typed to Isaac on iMessage. He didn’t answer.
I messaged him again.
Hola …
Hola.
Hola.
Hola.
Hola.
I knew if I bugged him long enough he’d answer. Social media revealed that Isaac was indeed alive and liking things.
Hola.
Hola.
Holaaaaaaaaaa.
I was wrong—no one had time for me. At least I had my column, and thank goodness I had my trip to Chicago in December with Mom to look forward to. I couldn’t wait to get away from everything. Everyone.
“Hey,” a soft voice cooed.
Mae was standing in the entrance of the living room.
“Hi,” I answered back flatly. I had no interest in speaking to her right now. Or possibly ever.
Not taking my hint, Mae made her way over and slumped down next to me on the couch.
She glanced at my screen.
“Spanish?”
I shut my computer.
“What’s up?” I could hear the harsh tone in my voice.
“Oh, nothing,” Mae returned casually, running her fingers along a strand of black hair. She was wearing it down mostly these days, probably due to Larissa’s encouragement.
“Did you see what Jessie did in Bio? She, like, sliced through the whole frog. Mr. Gately almost gave her detention.”
I stared ahead, unwilling to engage with her.
“What are you going to be for Halloween?” she asked, attempting more small talk.
“Carrie,” I answered, folding my arms.
“Who’s that?”
“She’s from a movie. She kills everyone.”
Mae thought about that. “Oh,” she said quietly. Then continued, “I think I’m going to be a fairy.”
Of course—the most innocent, beautiful creature of them all. She could prance all over the party and be gorgeous and mysterious and everyone would love her even more. Perfect.
Mae twisted the necklace with the half-heart pendant that I’d lent her for Chelsea’s party, which was weeks ago. I had said she could borrow it for a while, but she still hadn’t given it back.
“I want my necklace back, by the way.”
Mae agreed with a nod.
“You’re mad at me,” she stated.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t argue—I was mad at her. I’d barely spoken to her since last week on what I was now calling the worst day of my life. Unacceptable behavior for a friend, especially someone living in their friend’s bedroom.
“Jules,” she started. “I didn’t realize Sebastian was asking me out on a date. I thought, you know, he wanted to go to the party as friends.”
“But you knew people were going to the party with dates,” I challenged her.
“Yes, but I didn’t get it. I’m sorry. I’m new to all of this. Where I’m from, we weren’t allowed to date. Or even talk to boys. So I don’t understand it all. I’m sorry.”
That made sense, but it still didn’t make the whole thing feel much better.
“He clearly likes you,” I assessed. “I saw him helping you with Geometry at lunch.”
“He likes you too,” she offered.
“Yeah, but not in the same way,” I returned. She didn’t argue with me.
The wind rustled the leaves outside. There weren’t too many left on the branches.
No one said anything for a while.
“I know you like him, Jules, and I wouldn’t have agreed to go if I knew that he was asking me out. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
I snorted. “Yeah, right.”
“Seriously, Jules. You mean so much to me.”
I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were wide, and her pale face more earnest than I’d seen it. Should I believe her? Could I trust her beyond a reasonable doubt, as Isaac would ask?
Mae went on. “If it bothers you, Jules, I’ll tell him I can’t go. Then the two of you can go together. Really. You’ve been such a good friend to me, and I don’t want to go with him if it’s going to upset you.”
I stared at her. Did she mean that? Or was she just saying it because she knew I wouldn’t take her up on it—even Slightly More Confident Jules would never ask that.
“The last thing I want to do is cause problems for you, Jules. Especially—” Mae looked down at the couch pillow. “Especially after you’ve been so kind to me.”
Tears welled in her green eyes.
I felt a weight in my chest. Maybe Mae did actually care about me. Maybe I had been acting like a jerk. How was she supposed to know any better? And, the truth was, if Sebastian really did like her, and not me, as much as it hurt my feelings, it wasn’t her fault.
“You—” I began. Ugh, Jules, just be the bigger person and get it over with.
“You didn’t know any better,” I said, forgiving her. “I get it.” I took a deep breath. This was hard, but I had to do it. “You should go with him.”
“Really? Are you sure?” She seemed relieved. Maybe because she actually liked Sebastian, or was glad I wasn’t holding it against her, or both.
“Yeah.” I felt like crap about the two of them going together, but bein
g mad wasn’t suddenly going to make Sebastian interested in me.
DING-DONG, sang the doorbell.
“I’ll get it!” Dani called, heading down the stairs toward the front door.
“I have no idea who I’m going to go with,” I confessed to Mae. “At this point everyone probably already has dates.”
“What about Zeke! He doesn’t have a date yet. He’s really nice.”
I didn’t think Zeke was that cute, but Mae was right, he was nice at least. Maybe it was better to go with someone rather than by myself. Was something better than nothing?
“We can all ride together!” she insisted. “Sebastian’s driving.”
“I don’t know. Let me think about it—”
“AHHHHHHH!”
Before we could finish our conversation, Dani shrieked at the front door. I bolted from the couch to see her standing in the doorway—
Covered in blood.
* * *
I sat in the hospital waiting room, obsessively refreshing my Instagram feed, not knowing what else to do with myself. What had happened to my sister was so strange, I still didn’t know what to think of it.
Danielle had answered our front door to find a puppy. She reached for it, reading the puppy’s name off its tag.
“Bingo,” she’d read out loud. But no sooner did she say the dog’s name than it attacked her. It started biting and scratching her, in a way that seemed like it had been triggered to do, Dani had described. Dani also had a huge phobia of blood, so she freaked out even more when she saw herself bleeding from the injuries.
Even though Dad had installed a new security system after that branch broke the lock, it didn’t protect against cute puppies on our doorstep.
I thought about what Mae had told me the other night in my room, that she was afraid the cult would do things to trigger her to go back to them. Now it was beginning to seem very possible they had left that white rose for her. Had they left the puppy too? Was it meant to scare Mae, or attack her, instead of my sister? I had noticed that Mae did like dogs.
A more disturbing thought seeped into my mind. What if it wasn’t actually meant for Mae? What if this incident was intended to scare my family? Maybe the cult had figured out that we were harboring Mae, and they were angry about it. Maybe it was an “eye for an eye” thing. You took one of ours, we’ll take one of yours.
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