She just didn’t know. But, as she watched him placing the order, she thought that she’d probably be the biggest idiot in the world if she didn’t want to start something with a man like him.
Noah was sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows planted on his thighs and his head in his hands, as he heard the blow dryer in the bathroom shut off. He’d been in the same position the whole time Lily showered, his mind still stunned, his heart feeling full and warm.
He thought he must still be in shock over the revelations of the day, because he couldn’t make sense of his emotions, and his mind was still in turmoil. Lily had been attracted to him the whole time, too?
Shaking his head, he straightened and sat back on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He never would have guessed. And he never would have imagined that Brandon wouldn’t kick his ass if he’d known how Noah felt about her.
It made sense, though. She was right—Brandon was always laughing and joking, and if he’d known, he probably would have just rubbed it in that Lily was his, laughing the whole time.
He wished he’d known that then. He still probably would have kept his distance from her, but he wouldn’t have felt so fucking guilty the whole time. And then, maybe he might have tried to keep in touch with her after the funeral.
He still would have left. He wouldn’t have risked growing closer to her. And his other reasons still stood. He hadn’t been able to handle reminders of Brandon back then, and seeing her would have been too much. But he would have at least called, and he would have kept calling, no matter how much she tried to push him away. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have felt so alone.
It was strange, how he’d thought even two days ago that he couldn’t deal with reminders of his old friend. Yet, when Lily showed up, the biggest reminder of all, it didn’t bother him as much as he thought. Yeah, he’d felt guilty all over again, and he missed Brandon all the more for a short while.
But it didn’t make him lose his shit, which was what he thought might happen.
Maybe that meant Lily wasn’t the only one who was moving past what happened.
She walked out of the bathroom and he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. She smiled at him as she went to her suitcase, and his eyes followed her, unable to look away. Her skin was flushed from her shower, and she had on soft pajama pants paired with a tank top that hugged her body.
Swallowing hard, he watched as she bent slightly, the material of her bottoms pulling deliciously against her ass. She had a great ass. He’d always thought so. It was a touch larger than her frame called for, round and firm. He’d thought it looked amazing in jeans, but the soft material of her pajamas showed it to perfection.
Her long, light blonde hair fell over her shoulder in a satiny curtain as she took a bottle out of her bag and shook a pill out. Putting it back, she took another bottle out but just stared at it, a look of contemplation on her face.
He waited, but she just stood there, staring at the bottle, and his curiosity got the best of him. “You okay?”
“Hmmm?” she said, distracted as she looked over at him. “Oh, this? It’s Ambien. I was prescribed it after Brandon died because I couldn’t sleep, and I’ve been taking it ever since. I was just trying to decide if I wanted to tonight, but I think I’m gonna see if I can sleep on my own now.”
“It was bad enough that you needed meds?”
She exhaled lightly as she put the bottle back. Walking back to the bed, she got her water bottle off the table and swallowed the other pill. She finally nodded as she screwed the lid back on. “It was rough at first. I was put on a blood pressure medication, which was what I just took, and Ambien. I refused everything else, though.”
“I’m—”
“If you’re going to say you’re sorry again, don’t. It was bad, but I got through it. That’s what matters, right?”
“Yeah,” he replied softly, watching as she climbed into her bed. “That’s what matters.”
She yawned as she laid her head on the pillow and he reached over to turn the lamp off. “Goodnight, Lily.”
Smiling softly at him, she snuggled into her covers. “Night, Noah.”
She closed her eyes, and he got under his blanket, unable to take his eyes away from her. She was beautiful, as always, but it was more than that. Something about her just drew him on a different level.
Maybe Tarun was right. Maybe Lily could be his mate. He’d always wanted to find her, whoever she was. But no matter how silent his animal was, he’d always assumed that finding his mate would be enough to make him speak. At least long enough to tell him he’d found his mate.
Either he’d been wrong about that, or she wasn’t his mate. Despite all the obstacles between them—namely himself, including but not limited to his feelings of guilt and the fact that he could turn into a lion—he found the thought that she might not be his mate disappointing.
His cat paced inside him still—not as frantic now that Lily was out of the shower and back in the room with him. And that missing piece was still there, leaving a void inside him he’d never been able to fill.
That didn’t mean anything, though. He’d always felt like that, long before he was old enough to even understand what a mate was. He didn’t think it had anything to do with finding her.
The lion calmed around Lily, but he did around Tarun, too. They were the only people who’d ever made him ease his frantic pacing, the only ones who made the feeling that Noah was missing something, or someone, vital to him fade when they were around.
He didn’t know why that was. Maybe it was just something in their demeanor that made the void inside him feel a little less all consuming.
The level he was drawn to Lily on was totally different. He’d never felt that with anyone, and it had always been there, which was part of why he’d been so uneasy about it when Brandon was alive. The thought that his mate was married to his best friend had been heartbreaking and scared the shit out of him, so he stayed away from her and tried not to dwell on it.
And the feeling of being connected to her had only amplified since she showed up on his doorstep.
He knew she felt like it wasn’t a betrayal to Brandon, but he wasn’t so sure. That had been the only thing stopping him from kissing her earlier. Her words and her eyes seemed willing, but he hadn’t been able to let go of the feeling of betrayal.
He was so confused, and he didn’t know where to begin to start unraveling his feelings. He wasn’t even sure if he could.
Lily rolled a little in her sleep, her chest rising and falling steadily, and he felt his lips curl as he watched her. Maybe for her, he could make the effort. She deserved for him to be clear headed about the situation. She’d been through so much and he didn’t want to put her through more.
Figure it out, his lion said, his pacing slowing to a saunter.
Noah jumped, startled as his cat’s voice came to him for the first time in ten years. You talked.
You said it yourself. If there was one time you thought I’d talk, it’d be now.
He sat up abruptly in bed, still staring at Lily. You mean…?
Yeah. She’s our mate.
Noah felt his eyes widen as he continued to stare at her. If she woke up and caught him, she’d probably freak out and call him a creep, but he couldn’t help it. He was shocked to his toes. He’d considered that she might be his mate, but he hadn’t really thought she was.
Falling back onto the bed, he finally looked away from her, gazing up at the ceiling.
Holy. Shit.
Chapter Seven
Lily took a sip of her coffee, eyeing Noah as he sat across from her in the small diner down the street from their hotel. Something was off about him and had been since they woke up. She was trying not to get a complex about it, but it was hard not to, after their talk the night before.
He glanced out the window before taking another bite of his pancakes, yet again avoiding looking in her direction, just like he had most of the morning. And when he sp
oke, his words came off stilted and unsure.
Narrowing her eyes thoughtfully as he glanced up at her and then quickly looked away again, she couldn’t help noticing that his light green gaze was still glowing, like it had been all morning. She was starting to work out that it happened when he was worked up about something or feeling an emotion strongly.
So he was feeling something strongly, and from his voice and words when he spoke, he was unsure. Of her? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t think it was because the conversation the night before made him uncomfortable. He hadn’t seemed like it in the moment, and this felt like something more.
Setting her cup down, she looked out of the window, wondering if maybe he was hesitating because of whatever he was. She was positive he wasn’t an average human. His eyes changed color, he healed completely like he was never hurt in a devastating tragedy. Sometimes, the things he, and the other Enforcers, said didn’t add up.
She wanted to ask him, but she didn’t know how to word it. It was clear he was something more, whatever that meant, but since she didn’t know what it meant, she didn’t know how to ask.
Her lips quirked as she remembered the beginning of Twilight, when Bella realized Edward wasn’t the average human. It felt a little too reminiscent of that. Radioactive spider or kryptonite. Neither for Noah, she didn’t think. But that didn’t leave room for a whole lot else.
She’d always thought Bella was an idiot for just blindly following Edward. For how she hadn’t cared what he was, even though he told her he was the villain.
It was secretly one of her favorite book series, but she never understood that.
But she thought she might be beginning to. Because she didn’t know what Noah was, either, yet she was pretty sure she didn’t care that he was different.
She looked back over at him, watching as the early morning sun bathed him in its glow. One thing was for sure. He wasn’t a vampire. He didn’t burst into flames or sparkle in the sunlight.
Her eyebrow raised as he polished off the huge stack of pancakes he ordered. She’d been making bets with herself about whether he could eat it all, but she shouldn’t have been surprised that he did. He’d eaten a whole large pizza by himself the night before.
She guessed a man as big as he was needed a lot of food to keep him going.
Glancing up at her, he paused with his glass halfway to his mouth. “What?”
Suppressing a smile, she shook her head. If he was feeling unsure with her, she didn’t want to add to it by commenting on how much he ate. Although maybe that was more of a woman’s hang up than a man’s. “Nothing at all.”
He eyed her with clear suspicion in his eyes as he took a sip of his drink. “You ready to go?”
“Sure.” She caught him looking around for the bill and let her smile break free. “I paid it when I went to the bathroom.”
His eyebrows rose. “You didn’t have to do that. This is an Enforcer trip, so everything’s taken care of.”
Shrugging, she grabbed her purse and stood up. “I wanted to. Don’t argue.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Huffing a laugh, she turned and led the way out of the diner, making her way to his truck. He opened her door for her and held out a hand to help her up, and she let her smile deepen as she took it. He was a gentleman when it came to most things, but he hadn’t offered to do that the day before.
It was a small thing, but it let her know for sure that whatever his issue was, it wasn’t with the attraction they both confessed to. Otherwise, he would have stayed away from her as much as possible.
Shivers chased by warmth spread over her skin as she settled in the seat and he slowly slid his hand away. Reaching out, she touched his arm before he could shut the door.
“Hey, are you okay? You’ve been quiet.”
He smiled for the first time that morning and it reached all the way to his light green eyes. “I’m fine. Just working some stuff out in my head.”
“Okay. I just wanted to make sure that our conversation last night didn’t freak you out.”
Reaching up, he skimmed his fingers down her cheek like he had the night before, and she closed her eyes briefly as she leaned into his touch.
“Our conversation last night was one of the best in my life, Lily. I’m sorry if I worried you. I didn’t mean to. I get stuck in my head sometimes and forget there are people around me.”
“I’m glad it didn’t freak you out,” she whispered as she stared into his eyes, unable to give her voice more substance while he was touching her. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it today.”
“I was wondering the same about you. I didn’t know how you’d feel about it, either.”
Turning her head, she pressed a quick kiss into the slightly rough skin of his big palm, smiling as he sucked in a breath. “I’m glad we worked that out.”
He cleared his throat, pulling away slowly as his cell phone rang. “Me, too, Lily.”
Smiling with satisfaction as he closed the door, answering his phone as he walked around the truck, she buckled her seatbelt and leaned back. That answered her question over why he’d been unsure that morning, and confirmed that his distraction wasn’t because he regretted the things they said.
But she couldn’t help wondering what he was working out in his head.
Her necklace got caught under her shirt and she moved the seatbelt so she could reposition it. Stilling as her fingers touched the gold band, warm from her skin, she waited for the grief to hit her like it usually did.
It was there, but it wasn’t as crippling as it normally was. It was much easier to deal with, although sadness still washed over her. That was the first time tears hadn’t automatically rushed to her eyes when she touched it or caught sight of it.
She really was moving on, and as she looked up and caught sight of Noah, standing with his back to her, one hand hooked on a hip, she thought she was pretty sure he was a big part of that.
She’d been making big strides in the past year, but that moment was far and away the most definitive one yet. And that was what made her want to cry. Because, as strange as it might seem to other people, the first person she wanted to tell was Brandon.
He was her best friend for half her life, up until he passed away. She felt like she was starting a new chapter in her life, and she wanted to tell him all about it. He’d be happy for her, and for Noah, too. Yeah, she’d had a moment of doubt about that, but once she sat down to really think about it, she felt sure he would.
She’d been telling Noah the truth the night before—she really believed that Brandon would want both of them to be happy, and if he was looking down and watching as she and Noah started a relationship, he’d be smiling and telling everyone in heaven that he set them up. That he played matchmaker by introducing the woman he loved to the man who was his best friend before he died.
That was just the kind of person Brandon was. And there was no other guy he loved as much as he’d loved his best friend—so why wouldn’t he want that man to be with the woman he also loved?
Noah opened the door and she jumped, surprised. She’d been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed that he was done with his call. He climbed in and they both looked over as a kid ran by, shouting about the dragon festival.
Glancing over at Noah, she took in his frown as he shut the door. “The big festival that has the town sold out of hotel rooms is a dragon festival?”
His eyes were wary as he glanced over at her with a shrug. “There are festivals for just about everything these days.”
He turned on the truck and started typing an address into his GPS, and she narrowed her eyes as she studied him. His eyes were too off, his voice too casual. Something about it was bothering him, but he wasn’t going to let her in on it.
Pulling out, he drove them to their destination, and her attention was split between the increasingly large crowd as they got closer, and his growing frown. She caught sight of a banner announcing the Fernandez Fes
tival and she leaned down, picking up her laptop and quickly powering it on.
Turning on the mobile hotspot on her phone, she quickly logged onto the internet once her laptop was booted up. Typing the name of the festival, she found a website advertising it at the same time Noah pulled into a parking spot, cursing as he did so.
She glanced up with a frown, taking in first his white knuckled grip on the steering wheel and then the huge wrought iron gates that were standing open as people poured into what looked like a very large mansion’s equally large yard.
“This can’t be right,” he muttered, staring hard at the huge building and all the tents and booths set up on the lawn. “The intel said this was a very private compound.”
Looking back down at the website, she saw the same mansion on the screen, and quickly began reading. “No, I think this is it. The website says the owner is a very private man who’s not seen often, but he graciously allowed the festival to take place here.”
Frowning, he glanced over at her laptop. “Website?”
Nodding, she turned the screen toward him. “I saw the banner earlier and got curious. This is apparently the Fernandez Festival, and it’s all centered around a mythical dragon whose name was Julio Fernandez. But they’re graciously accepting other dragons,” she muttered sarcastically.
Stiffening in his seat, he eyes shot from her laptop to the festival in front of them. “Shit.”
“What is it? I feel like there’s more to this than you’re telling me.”
“It’s nothing,” he said distractedly, still looking at the mansion. “I think maybe we should go back to the clubhouse.”
“What? No way. We have a job to do.”
“A job that just got a hell of a lot more complicated and dangerous. This is a job for a few of the Enforcers, if not all of us. Not one Enforcer and a hu—someone who’s not trained in it.”
Thief (Blood & Bone Enforcers MC Book 2) Page 7