“Doesn’t anyone understand that I would like not taking a mate to be an option?” I ask grumpily.
Hawthorne shakes hair out of his face and smiles at me, a hint of the old mischievousness I remember playing at the corners of his lips. “I don’t think so. I think for most of us it’s the only option. But you can do what you want.” He moves against me. “I just wanted you to know you had options.”
“Okay,” I say. “You can get off now.”
Chapter 5
He sighs and closes his eyes, and then, with some effort, gets off of me and rolls to lay next to me. “You don’t know how painful that is.”
“What do you mean?”
He puts a hand over his eyes and grins ruefully. “The urge to have you, to take you, to be your wolf, it’s incredibly strong.”
“But you can control it?”
He smiles again. “I think so. I do care for you. And want you. But I want you to choose me, if it comes to that.”
“Okay.”
“Tell me the truth Aspen,” Hawthorne says suddenly, his voice low and serious. “Does it have to be him?”
I turn on my side to face towards him. “Of course not,” I lie. “In fact, it can’t be him.”
“Why?”
“It just can’t.” I lie next to him in silence and let the rain speak for us. Quiet and reassuring, between the thunder, which is becoming less and less frequent.
“I’m sorry if he’s being kind of cold. It was hard on him when you left, and then there’s been some other stuff, pack stuff…”
“What do you mean?” I ask. I do feel bad for being gone, but then wolves our age are often quite distanced from the pack until we’re mated.
“I don’t know if he’d want me to say,” Hawthorne says. “But ask him. Maybe when he’s ready. Anyway, he’s been stressed and kind of not himself.”
“The Alpha thing?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“I thought he would have found someone while I was gone. Are there really no she-wolves around?” I ask.
“There have been, but not a match.”
I frown at that, surprised it would matter. “Interesting.”
“You know what makes an excellent distraction from the rain?” he asks.
“What?” I ask, then catch his meaning. “Oh no, no you don’t.”
He leans on one elbow and runs his eyes over me again, like I’m something beautiful and amazing. It’s an odd feeling, but one I like. “We wouldn’t have to go all the way. We could make out a little. See how that goes.” He grins. “Maybe you won’t be as against mating as you think you are.”
I check out his body again, that hard chest with smooth, toned muscles. Running my hands over his skin would be a wonderful distraction from my troubles. And somehow, my worries about the future go out the window when I think about it. I’m sure he would make an excellent distraction. My body loves the idea. Too bad my heart doesn’t. If I was making love to him, I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else, I’m sure. But for some reason my heart doesn’t like the idea. Too bad.
“I don’t think so,” I say. “You know, Rafe told me that you and Lindon would be making plays for me. I didn’t believe him.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“I just, I didn’t think you thought of me like that.”
He gives me a pointed look. “Aspen, you’re hot. You make the wolf in me howl.”
I laugh. “So cheesy.”
“Yup.” He grins in response.
“You know, I’m glad I didn’t listen to Rafe.”
“Oh? What did Rafe say?”
“He said you guys wouldn’t be able to control yourselves, that I shouldn’t be alone with either of you. Any male wolves.”
“You know, that’s not actually bad advice, Aspen. You should probably listen.”
“Why? You’re my friend.”
“I know, but when the mating need takes over, I, well, any of us really, we aren’t ourselves.”
“What do you mean? Are you saying I can’t trust you?”
“I’m saying you should maybe listen to Rafe. And be careful around male wolves right now.” He lifts his head, takes a breath, and then shudders. “Your scent is very powerful. Very tempting.”
“Well, if anyone gets ‘tempted’, I’ll just have to stop them.”
“Oh, could you?”
“Yes.”
He laughs. “That’s hilarious. You couldn’t stop me if you wanted. Not in a million years.”
“Yes I could, but I wouldn’t need to. I know you. You’re a good wolf, Hawes.”
He shrugs. “Yes, but I’m a little worried that you’re underestimating the situation. When your pheromones get stronger, even I might have less control. Not to mention other males. The thought of you taking that lightly worries me.” His eyes glow in the low light. “Did Rafe tell you what to do if you did end up in a situation like that?”
“He told me to scream, so he could come.”
“But you weren’t going to, were you?” Hawthorne asks, giving me a look I don’t like.
“I don’t know, I like to think I could take care of it.”
“Oh Aspen, you don’t understand male wolves at all, do you?” he asks, flashing a fang at me.
“I just don’t think I could ever inspire anyone to such heights of lust,” I say. “I don’t think I would ever make someone lose control.”
Hawthorne sighs and pulls my hairband off, setting my tresses free across the pillow. “I don’t know how you don’t see what I see. You’re gorgeous. A very wantable wolf.” He runs a hand through the loose tresses and a warm thrill goes through me. “An almost irresistible wolf.” He hesitates, and I can see his wolf waiting when I look in his eyes. “But I do worry that you’re awfully naive about what males are capable of. And you know, if you were more in touch with your wolf, you might not mind that kind of dominance. But as someone in touch with your human, it might scare you.”
“Maybe,” I say. “I don’t know.”
“Maybe I should show you,” he says softly. He’s not the playful friend I used to know. I can feel hunger emanating from him. And a tingle of awareness, like a mouse cornered by a cat. Except I’m ambivalent about being caught.
“I don’t know,” I gasp out as he nips my ear. “Maybe you could just tell me.”
“I wonder if you would understand,” he says. He sits up again, inhaling the air, and I can see the muscles tense all over his body in response. He looks down at me, and I see the claiming instinct burning deep in his eyes.
“Wait…”
“Didn’t you say you could stop me?” he asks.
“Wait.” I say, but he lowers his mouth to my neck, nips me gently and sets a wave of pleasure moving through me, mingling with alarm. “Hawthorne, let me go.”
Hawthorne leans forward, puts his face close to mine. “Make me.”
Arousal moves through me as I press against his strength and find myself helpless. He’s right. The wolf in me loves it, loves his dominance and knowing he’s a viable future mate. The human part of me wishes she could punch him right in the jaw.
“Fine,” I say. “I can’t stop you. So you just stop.”
“Hm…” he says. “Maybe I won’t. Maybe you should scream.” His breath goes over my neck and shoulders as he speaks, sending shockwaves through me.
I gasp as he nips me again. “Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe you should stop on your own. Maybe I—mpphh…” He grins and covers my mouth with his, proving once again just how helpless I am to a male wolf with mating urges.
He releases my mouth and I breathe in sharply. “Okay, you’ve made your point. I’ll be careful.”
“If I let you go now, you’d still think you could get away on your own,” he says. His face is flushed, hair sexily tousled. Chest sheened by sweat. Hawthorne’s gorgeous and an alpha in his own right, but I’ve never seen him that way and that doesn’t change just because the wolf in me is willing to mate with him.
&n
bsp; “No, I won’t.”
“Then admit you’re wrong. Scream, like Rafe told you to.”
“I don’t want to, you’ll get beat up.”
“I will, won’t I? And I’ll deserve it, because anyone doing what I’m doing deserves it. And I don’t mind, if it shows you what you need to be shown.”
“This is so ass backwards,” I mutter.
“Maybe, but we’re wolves, not humans,” he says.
“We’re both,” I say. I try to roll out from beneath him, and he pulls me back easily, pinning both of my hands over my head in one of his.
“Not right now,” he says. “Right now, I’m all wolf. And you can’t stop me.”
I look up into his eyes and see that he’s telling the truth. His human is asleep and his wolf is running things. Pure animal instincts, leaving me nothing to appeal to. And the wolf in me is ready to surrender. But the rest of me knows I’m going to have to call for Rafe after all.
“So,” he says, lowering his mouth to my neck. “Are you going to scream, or am I going to claim you?”
“Um…” I hesitate, but then he flicks out his tongue along the line from my neck to my collarbone, sending more sensation through my body. If I don’t stop it now, I won’t be able to.
“Rafe!” I yell out, and Hawthorne goes still against me, slumping almost in relief but not getting off.
“Finally,” he says.
“Finally what? You get your ass beat for nothing?”
“I get my ass beat to show you something you needed to see. And because I let my wolf out, unchecked.”
“You can get off now.”
“No, I really can’t.” He leans over me. “I can not do anything to you, but I can’t pull away from you right now. I really can’t.”
“So you’re just going to sit on me till he comes? What if he doesn’t?”
“He’ll come,” Hawthorne says, shaking his head and trying to get control of the beast inside him. They were right, I didn’t understand the mating urge. The strength of it.
A door opens and shuts down the hall. My heart skips a beat. Adrenaline floods me and I try to take my hands back from Hawthorne. “It might be a good idea to let go now,” I say.
Hawthorne sighs, but doesn’t relinquish his hold on my hands. “You’re probably right, but I can’t. And hey, there’s an upside to this.” He looks back at the door.
“Aspen? You in there?” A deep voice calls. Rafe.
“What do you mean an upside?”
“You haven’t seen our future Alpha in a fight yet. Should be enlightening. He’s quite a beast.”
“So why don’t you let me go and we’ll just explain the situation to him?”
“I can’t. Besides, I’m quite the beast myself.”
I frown at him, not wanting to see my friends hurt.
Then a loud bang and the door slams open and hits the opposite wall loudly. Light streams into the room behind a very tall, very angry shadow. With dark hair and blazing blue eyes.
Chapter 6
Rafe’s eyes flick over us, growing angrier by the millisecond. Hawthorne is holding my hands down, straddling my hips. It all looks so wrong. It all is so wrong.
For a second he just stands there, as if waiting for Hawthorne to give him a reason to think better of him. But the next second, he’s crossing the room.
He grabs Hawthorne by the neck and throws him off me. His muscles are bulging and he looks down at me for a moment, making sure I’m alright, giving me a glimpse of his handsome, chiseled human features with the wolf in him barely contained beneath them, and then he turns away, and starts to morph soundlessly into his beast.
His beast is midnight black and huge, larger than the chestnut brown wolf that Hawthorne has become, but both are intimidating in their own way.
Hawthorne snarls and Rafe snarls in response and the two lunge toward each other in a clash of claws and fur. I hesitate for a moment, but I don’t want to see this. I care about them both. I didn’t think they’d be fighting as wolves. It wouldn’t be so bad if they were just going to be punching each other.
I jump off the bed and run into the center of them. I see claws coming toward me and put my hands up to shield my face as I run between them. My whole body braces in anticipation as I chide myself for being stupid, and then silence falls around me.
A low sigh makes me open my eyes to see Rafe and Hawthorne back in human form, pulling on their clothes and turning to eye me with anger.
They seem to have forgotten to fight each other for a moment and are now united in their anger toward me.
“What the fuck did you think you were doing?” Rafe yells.
I wince and point a finger at Hawes. “It’s his fault.”
“That you jumped into a fight between wolves?” Rafe asks, vein at the side of his head throbbing. “In human form?”
“I didn’t know how to make you stop.”
He turns on me, eyes flashing. “And why would I stop? You called for me. You know what that means.”
“I did, but, it’s not what you think,” I say, pointing to Hawes. “It was his idea, ask him.” I know I’m being immature right now, but facing Rafe’s wrath, I’m willing to point the finger of blame anywhere.
And Hawes, who seems to be itching for a fight, doesn’t back down either. He brushes wavy hair off his face, a tanned adonis facing off with a larger, older male without fear. “She came to me. Alone. At night. I had to show her…”
Rafe puts a hand over his face. “You’re both idiots and I don’t have time to sort it out right now. Not with my wolf still wanting to kill someone.” He shakes his head. “Aspen, let’s go.”
I look between them and decide that maybe Hawes is the safer option here. “Maybe I’ll just stay here with Hawes. Until you calm down,” I say nervously.
Hawes laughs, one hand over his cut abs, and Rafe’s eyes narrow dangerously. “You’re coming with me. Now.”
“No,” I say.
Rafe ignores me and crosses over to me lightning quick to throw me over his shoulder like so many potatoes.
“Hawes! Don’t let him do this!”
Hawes just shrugs and watches us go. I send him a parting glare and then struggle against Rafe as he carries me down the hall to his bedroom.
“Put me down,” I hiss.
He does, just inside his bedroom door. I try to run but he catches my arm. If only I was a huge male instead of a small, fat female.
“We have to talk,” he says.
“Yes, let’s talk,” I say, frustrated. I fold my arms and glare up at him. “Let’s talk about not physically moving people around just because they won’t do what you want.”
“But it’s so easy,” he deadpans. “You should eat more.”
I jab my finger into his chest. “Stop it. All my life, male wolves have been trying to make decisions for me, tell me what to do. You try that with me, and I’m going to leave you again.”
Anger flashes in his eyes, erasing any guilt he might have been feeling a moment before for manhandling me. “You can’t leave again.”
“It’s not your choice.”
There’s silence in the room, because he knows I’m right. But I can see a desperation there that I didn’t see before. He really doesn’t want me to go. I can use that, if I need to.
“Fine. I’m sorry. Seeing Hawthorne trying to claim you—”
“He wasn’t—”
“Seeing Hawthorne look like he was trying to claim you, it set off the wolf in me.”
I blink up at him. “Really? Just because you’re protective of the pack?”
He sighs and shakes his head, sending black strands in front of his eyes. I want to reach up and brush them back, look into his beautiful blue eyes. “You’re a smart woman, Aspen. But sometimes you’re really blind.”
“Blind about what?” I ask. “I know how you are with that pack. You’d do anything for them. Mate with anyone, be with anyone. I know that. We’re all the same to you, just a means to fil
ling your responsibility.”
Frustration builds in his face, but I don’t notice it until it’s too late and he snaps.
He makes his move in a split second, whirling me in his arms till my back’s to the door and he’s pinning me there with his hand and his gaze. I bite my lip and look up at him. His blue eyes are sparking in the dark.
“Blind about this,” he says. Then his lips take mine in a hard, hot kiss, pushing me bodily against the door. Trapping me with all of him, and I’m melting beneath him as he opens my mouth with his.
I’ve never felt such intensity inside me as when he moves against me, sending pleasure through me in a long, slow shudder. He growls and licks my lips, pressing for further entrance. I gasp and let him in, and he takes everything, forcing each cell of my body into submission as his tongue strokes and explores. Heat in the air amplifies everything, it’s like every breath I take makes it harder to resist him. I dig my hands into his hair and hold on for dear life. I never knew anything could feel like this. It’s like being on fire. So this is how an alpha makes love. No, how Rafe makes love.
It’s heady, intoxicating, I can barely think, barely breathe, as he pulls out of my mouth and then plunges back in. Holds my waist possessively. A sigh escapes me as I clasp his back, pulling him forward so that I can rub against his taut thighs, bringing a harsh groan from him in response. He pulls back to look into my eyes but keeps me tight against him, and I can tell that he’s trying to communicate something, though I don’t know what it is.
That he wants me? That the wolf in him is just as out of control as everyone else in the house?
He breathes heavily, resisting the tension between us for a minute, and then comes back to take my mouth again, this time more gently. But the feel of his hot lips is just as intense. I struggle a little, just to feel his incredible strength subduing me. He moves to my neck, taking the skin there lightly in his teeth, biting it once, then flicking his tongue up to my ear. When he goes to move back down, I pull on his head, trying to pull him away. He looks up with a question in his eyes.
“You might not want to,” I say. “Hawthorne was there.”
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 4