I shake my head, but then he pulls my jeans down, and bares me to him, and presses a soft kiss to my center, and I can’t help arching up and grabbing him. The sensation is just too shocking, too strong. I don’t want to stop it, but my body jerks up against my will. He whips something out of his pocket. A handkerchief, a long one. I blush and he twists it into a long rope.
“You tell me at any time, and I’ll undo it.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He wraps my hands and ties them to the headboard, encased in gentle silk. I feel so vulnerable and yet completely safe with him. He looks me over and I can see that the sight of me completely helpless to him, trusting him, is completely erotic. Maybe more than anything so far.
“Like what you see?” I ask softly.
He growls in response, his eyes narrowing. I can see lust ruling them, and I’m causing it. The big bad alpha looks dangerously close to losing control, and I’m the one doing it to him. The thought is crazy hot.
“Mostly,” he says, “I just like that now I can make you feel pleasure that wouldn’t even be possible before, if you were allowed to stop it.”
I gasp as he hooks a finger into the top of my panties, pulling them a little bit down and teasing the place underneath. “How can that feel so intense?” I gasp.
“You’ve never done this with anyone else?” he asks.
I hesitate there. “I’ve done some things. With Fang. Like kissing…”
He growls. “I don’t want to hear it. After tonight, you’ll forget anyone else has ever touched you. And,” He pulls down the panties further, placing a soft kiss directly on my center, sending shocks of painful pleasure through me. “Soon, you’ll forget anyone else even exists.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I gasp out, curling up away from him, but he grabs my legs and pulls me back toward him. Kisses and licks me again. I know I’m wet and it’s so embarrassing. But I can only think about it for a split second because the next thing I know he’s licking again, like he’s starving for me. Then sucking lightly, then kissing. Setting off a rhythmic pulse that is definitely going to cause an explosion post haste.
“Rafe,” I moan. “I…”
“You’re so sweet, Aspen,” he rasps, pulling my legs wider apart so he can taste more of me. He kisses the sides of my thighs hungrily, sinks his fingers into the soft flesh of my thighs and waist, reveling in the curves there. “You’re so soft. I wouldn’t change a thing, it’s amazing. Feels how I always knew it would.” He raises his head for a minute and licks his slick lips. “Tastes how I always knew it would.”
My lips part in question, but then his mouth is back and my head falls back as I give myself up to the pleasure coming toward me in waves. “Rafe, you’re driving me crazy.”
“That’s the idea,” he says. “As long as you’re still lucid enough to know who is doing this to you.” He sits up and presses a finger to me. I gasp in shock and bite my lip, but I ache for his mouth to be back, doing wickedly good things to me.
And in a minute, like he heard my silent plea, he’s back. Lifting my hips so that he can devour me. I love the feel of his hands on my butt. He makes me feel luxurious, like a treasure, and I can see genuinely how hot this is making him. I strain to sit up a little, wanting to see more of his delicious body. I can see his hair fall over his face, his powerful shoulders moving as he focuses. But that’s all, because the sensation of his tongue, his lips, is becoming lightning bright, and I can feel my whole body bracing itself for the impact. My legs are burning down to my toes, my fingers are nearly numb from the tension, every part of me is holding on for one more kiss.
And then he gives it to me and the world explodes in a haze of light and pleasure, my entire body convulsing independent of my control, in waves of sensation that are better than anything in the world, and just seem not to end. I can vaguely hear myself screaming, not sure if I’m screaming because it’s so strong or because I can’t stand the thought of it ending.
Wave after wave hits and when I become more lucid, I realize Rafe is untying my hands and pulling me close. I dig my nails into his back, still gasping at the strength of the orgasm he gave me. Unlike anything in the world, almost enough for me to just mate him right there just for the hope of getting more of those incredible feelings.
He holds me tight, making me feel secure cradled in his strong arms as I slowly float back to earth. When my breathing is evening, he reaches down with a hand between my legs and strokes me gently.
I cry out and dig my nails into his back, incapable of protesting another journey to heaven. He presses and swirls, reading my motions and my cries and knowing exactly how to move me closer and closer, I can feel my whole body getting ready again, my throat tightening, my toes clenching, my breath labored. With a soft kiss to my neck, he applies the finishing touch and holds me as I fall off the cliff again, flooded by pleasure beyond imagination, my entire body writhing in ecstasy with each pulse and contraction. My whole body revolves around that center, that center completely concentrated with the strongest pleasure I’ve ever felt in my life.
But he doesn’t stop. He growls and kisses my neck again, but starts with his fingers before I have even finished, and I’m so aching and sensitive that it takes no time at all for me to crest again, this time I’m fully aware when I scream out against the pressure and the pleasure. I cry his name, over and over, lost and bereft in an unknown universe, and yet wholly home as he holds me against him and anchors me to earth with those strong, gentle hands. As the pulses start to subside, I become aware of my heartbeat, strong and fast against his. And his own shallow breaths. How could he really be so turned on by that? I reach down for him, hoping to return the favor, but he gasps and moves my hand away.
“Not now, Aspen.”
“Why?” I reach again. “I want to.”
He shakes his head and lays me back on the bed, then lies beside me, cuddling in against me with that huge body, keeping me down. I can still hear my own heartbeat. It makes no sense that he won’t let me do it for him. I just want to get my hands on him, see those beautiful irises roll back in his head, but he just smiles down at me. “I’m glad you want to, but there’s a chance I’d end up claiming you if we did. If any…got on you.”
I blush, well aware it’s past the point of blushing right now. I nod, disappointed in a profound way that he’s right. “Maybe I’m ready for you to claim me?”
He tilts his head at me, looking doubtful. “Are you?”
I think about it for a minute. “I…”
“That’s all I need to know,” he says, rolling onto his side and pulling me against him. He presses against me and I gasp at the size of him, can feel him against me. “Sorry, it’s…still excited.”
“Did you really enjoy that? I mean…”
“Aspen,” he says, pulling me tight. “That was heaven, pure heaven. It doesn’t get any better for me. Well, only claiming you, because then I get to keep you forever. But yeah.” He runs a hand over my hair, and even my head is sensitive to his touch still. I shudder and hear his chuckle. “That was perfect. I couldn’t be more aroused right now.”
“Sorry,” I say. “Are you going to have blue balls?”
“What?”
“You know, be in pain?”
He snorts. “I don’t know. But it was worth it.” He nuzzles me from behind and wraps both hands wholly around my body. “Just let me hold you for now and pretend you’re mine.”
So I do. But I kiss his hand and lie there silently. I’m already his, but despite the sweet words he said, I’m still trying to figure out just what he means by them. I know he cares, but does he care the same way as I do? And how do I figure it out without telling him exactly what I need him to say? And if he says it after that, how do I ever know that he would have said it alone?
Then again, my body is still trembling from the pleasure he gave me. It was mind blowing. Weighing that in the balance, I can be a little more forgiving if he doesn’t live up to every other fantasy.
I rest in his arms. I want him.
Chapter 5
Rafe falls asleep more quickly than me, an evening nap that probably is the result of the adrenaline of a near fight, and the sexuality that was stifled after I was satisfied.
I sit up, pulling away from his arms when he doesn’t seem aware enough to notice, and kneel beside him. I pull my bra and tee shirt on, still studying his beloved face, the peaceful look on his features, the long lashes over his cheek, the soft dark hair over his forehead and cheeks. I lift a hand and gently push the hair out of the way, baring his perfect skin to my gaze. Pale and glowing. I press a gentle kiss to his forehead, then his cheek, then his ear.
What happens now? Maybe we shouldn’t have rushed into something so personal right after the Fang confrontation, but it has been simmering between us since I came back. And I’m sure the alpha in him has been pissed at getting behind in the physicality ratings as far as how much I’ve done with Lindon and Hawthorne.
What to do about Lindon and Hawthorne? I dangle my legs over the side of the bed and listen to quiet tick tick of an analog clock on Rafe’s desk.
I think before I go to talk to them, I’ll take a shower. It’ll give me time to think, and hopefully make it so that they aren’t distracted by where Rafe’s mouth has been the whole time I’m trying to talk to them. I make sure I’m decent and carefully climb off the bed, taking a moment to pull sheets up over Rafe’s prone body. Imagine what it would be like to do this for him for the rest of his life, no, stay beside him and sleep next to him. I can’t resist touching a soft lock of his hair once more, one that has slid over his forehead again stubbornly.
Time to go, before he wakes up. I take one last look at him before leaving his room. He looks so exhausted. He’ll probably be out for a while. I keep my head down and walk as quickly as I can down the hall, hoping to avoid any confrontation.
No such luck, I nearly bump into Hawthorne halfway to my room. He looks up at me with shocked eyes, and if my scent doesn’t give me away, my deep red blush definitely will. He gives me a questioning glance but I can’t stand to address anything with him right now. Not when he could tell everything I don’t want him to if he just breathed in deeply.
I walk quickly away from him, run to my room, and shut the door quickly behind me. I grab clean clothes and deodorant and slip out to the bathroom just outside my room. I grab a towel from the cupboard under the sink and slip into the inner part of the bathroom that has a shower.
I start the water and test it with my hands to see how warm it is. It heats up pretty fast, but I don’t like stepping into a shower until it’s all the way there.
I slip out of my clothing and into the now warm water. It’s hot enough to create steam in the bathroom and I reach out to flip on the fan.
I tilt my head back and let the water trail over my breasts, down my stomach and over my legs. I reach for my body wash and lather it up and run my hands smoothly over my shoulders, under my arms, between my legs, feeling each part of my body in a new way, feeling like my skin is more alive than it has ever been. It’s not just the attention of three hot alphas. It’s the way Rafe looked at me, made love to me, as if I was the only girl in the world that mattered. The look I’ve always wanted, even if it didn’t come with the words I’ve always wanted.
The steam swirls around me, and I lather my hair and soap up my body again, just for the feel of my hands against my skin, which is still sensitive from the way Rafe brought me to life. Until Rafe, I didn’t realize just how sensitive I am.
I run my hands over my thighs again, and then between them, letting the water and suds flow over me, soothing and hot. I throw my head back and let the hot water flow over my hair and face, running all over me, thinking of the pleasure I felt at that moment. I wonder when I’ll feel that again.
The water gets slightly less warm, a sign that I’ve been in there long enough, so I turn off the shower and step out, grabbing my towel and toweling off my hair first and then my body. The bathroom is full of steam and I know if I were to look in the mirror now, my body would be red and warm, flushed and sheened with steam and sweat.
I better get ready the rest of the way in the outer part of the bathroom. It’s probably cooler out there. I wrap my towel around me. I unlock and open the door and come face to face with Lindon. His eyes widen and he backs up, fumbling for the door behind him.
I shriek and clutch the towel against me and stumble back against the door behind me. “Lindon, what are you doing in here?”
“I didn’t think you would come out unclothed,” he says, fumbling for the door behind him. “I had something to ask you.”
“Didn’t you hear the shower? Who did you think was in here?”
“I didn’t know, I just—Hawthorne said something…”
“Get out!” I shriek, nearly losing my towel. But Lindon doesn’t get a chance to obey because a hand behind him jerks roughly on his collar, turns him around and throws him back against the door.
“Rafe!” I run forward and Rafe looks down at me with angry blue eyes. I pull the towel tighter around me. His face burns more intensely and he turns to Lindon, who is pushing his way out of Rafe’s grip and facing us with glaring eyes.
“Damnit Rafe, it was an accident!” he says. “I thought she’d come out dressed.”
Rafe just narrows his eyes on him like he knows no such thing, and I can feel the visceral tension between them. “You weren’t just trying to get a look at what’s mine?”
“Of course not,” Lindon says. “I wouldn’t dare mess with the big, bad future alpha.”
“Both of you get out! I need to change. We can talk after.”
Both give me one more long look, up and down my nearly naked body, and then slump out one after the other. Rafe is last to go, and he turns at the last moment.
“You okay?” he asks, putting a hand on the back of his neck. “You screamed.”
“Just surprised,” I say. “I believe him, you know. I don’t think he was trying to peep.”
Rafe shrugs like he disagrees but doesn’t want to bother arguing about it. “You going to get changed? I can wait here till you do.”
“That’s not necessary,” I say, fidgeting. Letting Rafe be around me constantly is only going to escalate the tension in the house, making it seem like some kind of unfair decision has been made. I almost can’t wait for this to be over and my friends to go back to just being my friends again. Except for one, of course. “It was just a mistake, Rafe.”
“I don’t think so. He knew you were in the shower. And naked. He could have let you know he was out there.”
“He didn’t know I would come out in my towel,” I insist.
A pause. “Why did you come out in your towel? You live with three males, you know. I don’t want any of them seeing you.”
“Look,” I say with a sigh. “I enjoyed what you did, but I’m still feeling things out. You don’t get a right to react like that yet. You haven’t claimed me.”
“I’ve done everything but,” he growls.
“Right, and that was because you wanted me to have my choice. Well, I do too.”
“Well, I’m not feeling that altruistic anymore if it means you’re going to let other wolves see your body.”
I sigh. “Why wouldn’t I, Rafe? Did you assume it was just a matter of time, and definitely you?”
His eyes flash. “Of course.”
I snort. “So conceited.”
He takes a step forward. “You know it’s me, Aspen. I always thought so, and I’m only more sure with each day that passes since you came back. Don’t fight it.”
“I…I get a week to decide.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t respond to me. You think your body would do that for anyone else?”
“I…don’t know.”
He backs me up against the wall, puts a hand on either side of my head, and I feel very small and vulnerable in just my towel. “Don’t let anyone else touch you. You’ve been with each of us, a
little bit. Don’t go any further without deciding or there’s going to be bloodshed.”
I raise my eyes to his hesitantly. “You’re the one who took it as far as you did,” I say. “That’s not my fault.”
He grits his teeth. “If I had known you’d be like this, I wouldn’t have stopped myself from claiming you when you were so clearly into it.”
I glare at him. “So, now you regret doing the right thing?”
“I regret giving you reign to trample on my heart,” he scoffs, turning away from me. “I regret agreeing to play these stupid alpha games. I regret giving you leave to let anyone else touch you, even for a moment, because you were always meant to be mine.”
I swallow and pull the towel tighter, taking a step back toward my clothes. “That’s right, it’s just inevitable, right?”
He nods, still not facing me.
“Whether I want it or not?”
He nods. “It’s just meant to be.”
I go into the inner bathroom, which is less steamy now, and shut the door behind me. Then I yell at him through the wood. “I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t changed at all!”
“I tried, Aspen. I tried to be this forward thinking wolf who could just wait and hope you picked me, knew you would in the end. But I can’t. Not if you’re going to try and undo destiny by forcing something with another wolf, one you aren’t meant to be with.”
“How do you know what I’m meant to be with? How do you get to say what my destiny is? My destiny is whoever I want it to be, and I’m not sure that’s you right now.”
Silence from the other side of the door.
Don’t feelings matter?” I ask.
“You know, I used to think so,” he says. “But now I’m not sure.” His voice is as bitter as mine is, as if his dreams have been crushed too. Why would either of us want a union that causes this much stress?
Before I can think to ask him that, his footsteps fade away into the hall, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the steam still floating through the bathroom.
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 14