Rafe looks at me intently. He’s shirtless and probably naked under the blanket, which makes things more intense. He gives me a light squeeze, kisses me again affectionately on the lips, and says, “Later,” with a smile. His dark black hair is perfectly mussed, and I run my hand through it, feeling its thickness and softness.
I’m starting to come off of the quick high Rafe just gave me though, and beginning to feel exhaustion returning. Rafe picks me up gingerly from his lap and lays me down next to him, my head resting on his legs. He grabs a spare blanket and props it under my head.
I can hear Lindon and Hawthorne get back in the car, but I’m starting to fade fast.
“Get a room you two,” Hawthorne says over his shoulder.
“Thats exactly where we’re going, Hawthorne,” Lindon says flatly.
“Oh. Right,” Hawthorne replies.
The last thing I see is Rafe looking down over me, smiling, running his hand gently through my hair. Then nothing.
Chapter 6
I wake up the next day in my room. I must have slept like the dead to not even feel being carried up here and put to bed. The sun is already shining brightly through the drapes, birds are chirping outside, and a fall breeze creeps through my window. For a second, it’s as if it’s a regular day, and I just happened to sleep in. I sit up in bed and stretch, surprised by the soreness in my body.
Then I remember. The hunters, the van, the clearing, Fang, running, Lindon and Hawthorne. And Rafe. Rafe, Rafe, Rafe.
Did all of that actually happen? I remember our kiss. Him telling he loved me. Fighting to near-death to save me. A lot of things are still blurry.
Then I remember his body, bloody and scarred. I jump out of my bed and run to my door, but stop when I realize I’m wearing only a T-shirt. Deciding to not risk it, I throw on a new bra and the closest pants I can grab, open my door, and bolt for Rafe’s room.
I knock on the door. No Answer. I knock again. Still no answer.
“Rafe,” I call out softly at the door. I open the door and look inside. It’s dark, too dark to see if he’s lying on the bed or not.
“Lover boy is downstairs if you’re looking for him,” says Hawthorne, walking down the hallway looking like he just woke up too, somehow pulling on a shirt and brushing his teeth at the same time.
“Thanks, Hawthorne,” I say, already heading down the stairs.
Then I see him, in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. The scene is almost the same as the first morning I move in, yet somehow totally different, because things are different between us now. There’s an air of anticipation, and I just stand at the portal to the kitchen for a moment, taking in the sight of Rafe. My Rafe now. At least, I know I want him now, and it’s very clear he wants me.
As if hearing my thoughts, Rafe turns around from where he’s cooking, sees me, and smiles.
Suddenly I’m aware that I’m a complete mess. My red hair is uncombed and hanging in knots, I have no makeup on, and I’m pretty sure I’m wearing the same shirt from yesterday.
Without waiting a second, Rafe puts down what he’s doing and comes over to me, smiling more than I think I’ve ever seen him smile before, his teeth catching a glint from the morning light. He wraps me in his arms and holds me close and looks like he never wants to let go.
“Hi Aspen,” Rafe says, looking down at me.
“Uh, hi Rafe.” I’m still processing things, and right now everything is feeling like it’s too good to be true.
Not wasting time, Rafe kisses me in a loving, romantic way that makes me forget how I look and feels amazing. I kiss him back, sinking into his arms and his lips and holding him tight. A breeze comes through the window, as if stirred by our embrace, and the coolness of the fall air mixes with the warmth of our kiss, accentuating it and making it even more romantic.
“I’m so glad you’re OK. I was so worried for a moment,” I say, able to form a cohesive sentence for the first time this morning.
“Of course I am. I have you, Aspen,” Rafe replies.
“But yesterday. The wolves. You almost died.” I’m starting to panic just thinking about it.
Sensing this, Rafe pulls up his shirt, showing me his rock-hard abs. All I see are a few small spots and healing scars. Nothing compared to what he looked like yesterday.
“It’s ok, I heal fast. It would’ve taken a lot more than that to keep me from you,” he says, with a calm in his voice that helps me regain composure. Now I want to run my hands over his abs, and his chest, and everywhere else.
“We should talk for a minute. But first, breakfast.” Rafe motions to the table which already has quite a spread of delicious-looking dishes on it. “I didn’t know how late you would sleep, so I figured I’d keep cooking until you woke up.”
No longer distracted by the abs, I realize there’s several things I want to ask Rafe now as well. Rafe pulls out a chair for me and seats me, then starts filling up a plate for me.
I could get used to this.
After breakfast, Rafe and I walk outside to the back patio and sit on a bench not far from the house. We’re surrounded by beautiful fall colors, the wind carrying new scents from far-off places, along with the smell of nature preparing for winter. Leaves are only barely beginning to fall, and the trees around us are varying shades of green, orange, and red. Fall flowers are still in bloom, their colors contrasting the earthy tones surrounding us.
Somehow, Rafe looks better than ever. He’s cleanly shaven, his jaw a perfect line coming to a strong chin. His lips are full and asking to be kissed again at any moment. The late-morning sun illuminates his beautiful blue eyes looking down at me.
Every moment with him feels like it could last forever. I try my best to take a mental picture, because I never want to forget this day.
Rafe takes my hand gently in his, and speaks first.
“Aspen, there’s something I need to share with you.”
“About what?”
“About the day we found you. You asked about it before, and I think it’s time you deserve to know,” he says, his tone more serious.
I nod, not wanting to hear any bad news that could ruin this moment, but a deep part of me still yearns to know. Has to know.
“All you remember is from the time we found you, right?”
I nod again. “Is this about my parents, though?
“I’ll try not to give details that are too violent, but I think you should know.”
“Okay.”
“The story actually reaches some time before we found you.” He pauses for a moment, biting his lower lip, looking like he’s searching for the right way to say it. “We never told you we knew your parents. But the truth is, you actually came from a very powerful pack. A pack led by a powerful alpha female. Your parents and my parents knew each other very well. In fact, when you were born, you were betrothed to me.”
“That seems antiquated,” I say, puzzled.
“In some ways werewolf culture still adheres to norms that have been long-abandoned by human culture. There’s provisions made if the female doesn’t want the male and all that, but it’s somewhat beside the point.” He pauses again, then continues. “The day we found you, Rowan and I were coming to visit your pack so we could be introduced for the first time. But when we arrived, we found your family dead. You were badly wounded, so I think you were left for dead. Rowan, being the wise alpha he is, acted quickly and brought you back to our home. You barely survived, and when you came to, you didn’t remember anything from before. So Rowan decided it was best to not tell you and wake any horrible memories.”
“And the killers?”
“We sent several hunting parties out to track who the killers were, but never found them.” Rafe looks down, disappointed and angry.
“Why didn’t Rowan or the others tell me earlier?” I ask.
“Rowan wanted you to feel like you were part of the family. He feared the tragedy would be too much for you to handle. You were still very young at that point.”
> I can feel my past creeping in, the sadness I would often feel as a child. But I hold it off for a minute. I still have more questions. “So what of the whole betrothal-thing?”
“Rowan called it off. He had hoped that you would choose one of his sons one day, but he didn’t want you to be influenced by it.”
“And what about you? How did you feel about it?” I ask, curious to hear Rafe’s side.
“At first, I was relieved. I was just a kid as well, I didn’t know much back then. But as we grew up, I couldn’t help wanting to watch out for you. Beyond what my father instilled in me as future alpha and my obligation to the pack, I felt I had an obligation to you. To protect you and watch out for you. A special bond with you.”
“So all those times you would beat up Hawthorne or Lindon for making me cry?”
“Ha ha,” Rafe laughs, then smiles. “I’ve always felt an incredible connection with you Aspen. Somehow, reaching beyond just familiarity or even attraction, I’ve always only wanted to be with you. You’ve been the only one for me. I tried to tell myself the betrothal was called off, but my heart didn’t seem to realize it.”
“So all those times you were being overbearingly protective? When you wouldn’t let me go out alone at night, or go too far from the pack?” I ask, half-joking, half-serious.
“I couldn’t bear for something to happen to you. And as we grew up and you became the beautiful woman that you are now, it made me only want you more.”
“Oh, so it’s just my body you want?” I ask, wiggling an eyebrow at him.
Rafe laughs heartily, a deep sound that lifts my spirits. I definitely want to hear that again.
“In all seriousness, I do want you, Aspen. I want to be with you every day when you wake up. I want to be the one that raises a family with you, that protects you, that provides for you, that pleasures you.”
The last part sends a shiver of anticipation up my spine.
“I’m sorry this had to come out now. I felt you deserved to know everything before you make a decision. I didn’t want any secrets between us.” With that he embraces me, and gives me a gentle kiss on the lips.
“Thank you Rafe,” I say. It’s a lot to take in all at once. “If it’s ok, I think I’ll need some time by myself to think.”
“Take all the time you need, my love,” Rafe replies. “But if you’re going to be outside, just know that I’ll be watching you like a hawk from the window.”
I smile, and with that we both stand and walk back towards the house. It’s almost midday, but with the shortening days and the shade offered by the forest behind our house, it could be afternoon already.
Rafe kisses me again on the lips, says “I love you,” and goes inside.
I sort of want to follow him in, but I need to figure out what I’m thinking first.
If what Rafe says is true, then I was always meant to be alpha female, not just the default after another female died.
I’m not sure how to deal with that.
Chapter 7
I spend time outside, letting what Rafe has told me sink in. At first, I’m overcome with sadness, thinking of my dead parents, brothers and sisters. My family that I never really knew. Sad that they were taken from me and the complete wrongness of the situation.
But as time passes, my mind turns to Rowan, to Rafe. To the unquestioning kindness they showed me by bringing me in and caring for me. For treating me like their own. And how lucky I am to have been found and taken in by a family like Rafe’s. For the first time, I feel truly grateful to have Rafe, Hawthorne, Lindon, and everyone else in my life.
My sadness slowly turns to gratitude, then happiness, then excitement. About Rafe and all the unanswered promises that are still there, awaiting to be answered. About how he’s loved me for so long, and I didn’t even know it. It excites me and makes me feel alive, to think of starting a new life with him. One where we’ll have each other every day. About having him by my side to protect me and love me. I want him, so badly it almost hurts to think about it.
I love Rafe, and I want him to be happy, and I want to let him make me happy too.
For him, I can try to embrace my destiny as alpha female and be the wolf he deserves.
The late morning sun is starting to droop below the tree line now and the evening is falling fast. The breeze is still rustling a few leaves that decided to fall early and it’s getting colder. I walk back to the house and come in through the back door. I see Rafe sitting on a chair in the living room, but go behind him quietly. He deserves answers, but not until I’ve had a shower and washed the last of my tension away.
When I’m done I come down the stairs. Rafe is still waiting in his chair, looking deep in thought. As soon as I come down the stairs, he looks up at me and smiles tentatively, waiting for a response from me.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking Rafe, and I’ve made my decision. But I’d like to talk for a few minutes if that’s ok,” I tell Rafe.
“Of course,” Rafe says, standing and pulling up a chair for me. I sit, and he returns to his chair and looks intently at me.
“At first, I was really shocked and saddened by hearing the news. It’s been so long, I didn’t think I wanted to hear about what happened to my parents, and even if I did, I had emotionally prepared myself to hear they were dead. But even still.”
“Definitely understandable,” Rafe says, listening closely to every word I have to say.
“Then I thought more about it. About your family, our family. You really have loved me for a long time haven’t you?” I say, squinting playfully at him.
“I most definitely have, Aspen. It’s always been you in my mind. I had just always hoped that you would want me too. All those times I got controlling or made you think it was destined or your responsibility, it was because I couldn’t live with the fact that you could want someone else,” Rafe admits.
“Yeah, I think I see that now. It just took all that’s happened recently for me to realize I’ve felt the same about you. I could just never admit it.” I pause. “Until now.”
Rafe’s face turns to a smile, and he leans over and kisses me, then swiftly picks me up in his arms and holds me close. Despite my weight, I feel light as a feather in his arms. I feel delicate, precious, safe, loved.
“I honestly don’t know why I resisted for so long. You’re everything I ever wanted, Rafe. You’re everything I could have possibly imagined, and more.” It’s all flowing out of me now like water from a sieve. After all that’s happened, there’s no point keeping anything back.
“And you’re all I’ve ever wanted,” he replies. “And I promise I’ll make you happy every day of your life Aspen,” Rafe says, bringing his forehead down to mine. When they meet, he just looks intently into my eyes, hanging on my every word.
“I may still take a bit of… persuading,” I say, unable to keep a grin from my face.
Rafe growls and starts carrying me to his bedroom.
* * *
He brings me straight to the bed, and drops me gently onto it.
I smile as he pushes me back against the bed, nuzzling my neck and smiling against me as I giggle and relax into his embrace.
“Are you sure?” he asks, looking tentative.
“I’m so ready for this,” I answer, meeting his icy blue eyes with my own. His eyes are so bright with anticipation they are almost blue flames, burning for me.
Rafe begins kissing my neck softly, moving his way toward my ear.
“I like when you do that,” I sigh into his shoulder.
He pulls back, gives me a sly smile, and growls hungrily.
I grin. “I like that too.”
“My wolf can’t help it,” he says.
“You’re so amazing, Rafe,” I say, clutching him to me. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
His eyes widen and then a small smile lights his face up. I pull him tighter, hold his chest to mine, feel his heartbeat against me and revel in it.
“I love you,” I say softl
y.
He encircles me with his embrace, and replies. “I love you too, Aspen.”
It’s a precious moment, and we just hold each other there like nothing else matters in the whole world.
Rafe pulls back again and holds my face gently with both hands, rubbing his thumbs lightly over my cheeks, looking lovingly into my eyes. He then looks down at my lips and lets out a small breath, and I bite my lower lip and look back up at him in anticipation.
So he brings his lips down to mine and kisses me.
Somehow this kiss is the most powerful kiss we’ve ever shared. There’s no pride or jealousy, no expectations or fear, no misunderstanding between us.
Just pure passion mixed with love, moving freely between us through our hearts, lips and hands. Only pure feeling that we’re expressing through touch, knowing fully that the other person is the most precious person in the whole world, and that we’d do anything for each other, and that, deep down, we were always meant for each other.
And finally, we’re letting that happen.
I sigh against his lips and open my mouth so he can go deeper, and his tongue goes inside of my mouth, feeling inside and filling my entire body with fire. His hands begin to move over my shoulders and down my sides, grazing my breasts and leaving me desperate for more. He bites my lip and I moan in response. I can hear his breathing growing heavier, sounding more voracious, wanting to give me more. He’s holding his wolf back, being gentle with me to start, but I can’t wait for him to take things up a notch. He’s making me want it more by holding back.
He brings his head to my chest and kisses the top of my breasts where they meet, barely exposed a little by the shirt I’m wearing, and then moves up to kiss my collarbone, and then back the tiny spot below my ear that sets me off inside. Little teases, warming me up, driving me crazy.
I move against him, wanting to feel the friction of his body against mine. I can tell he’s not just trying to please me, although pleasing me seems to please him. He’s also taking his time, loving and caressing each part of me in turn, showing me how beautiful I am to him. I can feel how deeply connected to me he is, how important I am to him, from the slow, intentional motions of his hands the way his lips worship me everywhere.
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 19