“I don’t know,” she says. “And this has to stay between us, because I don’t know if Lindon even meant to kind of suggest this, but when we were back at the mansion, you know, when you guys were competing, when we were out on the picnic…”
Rafe growls. “Ugh, get to the point. I don’t want to think about that picnic…”
“Anyway, when we there, I got the opinion that maybe…maybe he’d had feelings for Ava. I mean, I knew they were close growing up…but I was young when she died.” She turns toward me. “I’m a little younger than the guys. Ava was an alpha female we brought over from another pack to hopefully mate with one of the potential alphas. As Rowan has probably told you, our race has to be careful as we are getting more scarce.”
“Right,” I say. “That’s why I’m here, putting up with this.”
“Oh, really?” Rafe says. “I was under the impression it was the hot dudes that won you over. Ouch.” Aspen whacks him on the shoulder. “Anyway…”
“Right,” Aspen continues, facing Rafe. “Well, I got the feeling that Lindon resented you for being intended for Ava, and that he resented you being the lead alpha because of that.”
“But Ava died…Oh.”
“Right.”
“But they were kids, they couldn’t have…”
Aspen shrugs. “Maybe you should ask Lindon about it. Maybe that’s what he means, maybe not. Who knows. It just came to mind as a possibility.”
I rest my chin on my fist. I’m not offended at Rafe’s words about being selfish and coming for the men. I am selfish. I’ve had to be. I’m the only one looking out for me, if I don’t, who will? I can’t trust anyone else to take care of me, and it doesn’t make me bitter. So I just have to ignore people who seem to take issue with my form of independence.
“I’m not going to figure it out,” Rafe says. “I have enough on my plate with taking over pack alpha duties without trying to get inside Lindon’s head on a subject he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Since he hasn’t ever before.”
Aspen turns back to me, twisting in her seatbelt to rest one hand on the headrest of the seat so she can face me for a more prolonged amount of time. “So, how did you know? Why did you ask if he had a mate who died?”
I shrug, not wanting to give too much away if Lindon hasn’t talked about it. He didn’t say it was a secret, so I didn’t know not to bring it up. But by their own admittance he doesn’t want it known. “Just something he alluded to. It wasn’t that clear. Perhaps I misinterpreted things,” I say.
“I like you,” Aspen says.
“You seem like a very straightforward person,” Rafe says. Aspen nudges him again, as if she thinks what he just said was harsh, but I just shrug my shoulders.
“I guess I try to be. I’m not always the nicest, but you’ll usually know exactly how I feel about you.”
“How do you feel about us?” Aspen says, turning to me with slight shyness in her gray eyes.
“You and Rafe? I don’t really know you two that well yet.” I nod to Rafe. “I’d love to order one of those to go for my alpha challenge, and I think you seem like you’d make a good friend, but beyond that…”
Rafe’s laugh booms in the car and Aspen ‘hmphs’. “Don’t inflate his ego, it’s already huge.”
“Only because I’ve got you,” he says, putting a hand out to tenderly rest on her knee. “How could I not be conceited, knowing that I made you mine?”
Aspen ‘tsks’ and tries to stay stern, but breaks into a smile that seems to glow and shares a quick glance with him before they turn back to the road.
I want that, something inside me says. Something that gave up on it a long time ago, when the other girls were asked to homecoming and I wasn’t, when everyone else had a boyfriend. Slowly the years went by, and I wanted to find someone especially before my parents died, so I wouldn’t be totally alone.
But that didn’t happen. Dreams don’t come true. There’s no point hoping for something you can’t have.
But Rafe and Aspen definitely make it look wonderful. I think of my foster parents’ last years. It was the same kind of love between them. I’m glad they went together, even if the car accident was completely tragic and unavoidable. I could never imagine one living without the other. I just hope it was fast, that they weren’t in pain.
I blink back a surprise wave of tears that fill the corners of my eyes.
“You okay back there?” Aspen asks. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say. “Just dust in my eye.”
It’s a stupid excuse but Aspen seems to accept that I don’t want to talk about it. She seems like a tough girl herself, so she probably understands what it’s like to want to keep things inside.
We pull onto a road that goes up a steep hill. I look out of the car window and my eyes widen. “We aren’t going to that huge place, are we?”
Rafe and Aspen just laugh.
I keep my eyes glued on the building as it comes closer. It rises like a behemoth in front of us. Huge, luxurious, lonely. The kind of house that seems like a dream until a hundred years from now, when people come to film haunted house movies in it. I guess if you are going to live with ten men for any space of time, you’re probably better off in a house where there are plentiful areas you can go to get space away from them all.
We pull up to the house, answering my question.
“Home sweet home, at least for now,” Rafe says. “I’m sure once you pick someone you’ll go somewhere new and equally awesome.”
Aspen frowns. “I don’t know, I hope Rowan prepared you for the fact that most shifter packs aren’t as well off as his pack. I doubt many of the other alphas will have much real wealth.”
Rafe just starts unloading the bags. When he starts up the pristine front walk with huge cases under his arms, Aspen gives him a long, up and down leer, pausing on his ass.
“Of course, there are a lot of benefits to alpha males, aside from the money thing,” she says, turning to share a knowing wink with me.
I can feel my full body blush starting. “I’m guessing so.” I fidget, intimidated by the mansion. Rowan may be annoying, but I kind of wish he was here now, reassuring me.
“What’s wrong?” Aspen asks, picking up on my uncertainty.
“What if Rowan’s wrong? What if none of them want me? Or what if they just want me because of my genes, or my smell? It’s not what I was thinking for my future.”
“Then don’t pick one,” she says. “My pack mates aren’t going to let anyone force you. But I do hope there is a least one good one waiting for you. Being happily mated is…” Her eyes flick to the door as Rafe comes back out for another trip. “Amazing.”
“Yeah, when you have that hunk of steel as your mate,” I say. “I’ll probably end up with some gold digger.”
She raises a questioning eyebrow.
“Apparently my parents left money for my pack.”
“Ah, smart move.”
I shrug, unwilling to forgive them for whatever other un-smart moves led them to abandon me and get themselves killed. I should be mad at their killers, but all I have is a childhood of knowing I wasn’t wanted. That someone who owed me nothing had to take me in and care for me. I know they loved me, but if my parents had just been careful…
“So, you ready to go in and find your room?” she asks.
“Sure,” I say. “Sounds good.”
“Great,” she says, picking up a bag. I grab one too, as Rafe has everything else balanced on those huge shoulders. Benefits to alpha males indeed. “And then when we’re settled, we can start talking about what you want in a mate,” she says. “‘Cause you’re going to have your pick.”
“So I hear,” I say, following her, still in awe of the grounds and the columns. “So I hear.”
Someone pinch me, someone wake me up. If not, it’ll be too late and I’ll have finally accepted that this is all real. And waking up after that would just be too painful.
Chapter 4
> Today is the day. The pamphlet of bios that Rowan made for me a while ago is wrinkled and worn from frequent study, and by the end of the day I’ll have met in person all the men I’ve been meeting through the hottie catalogue. The thought is vaguely terrifying.
Aspen left last night, on Rafe’s insistence. Lindon texted earlier, telling me he’d be over in a few hours, before anyone else was due to arrive, and to not open the door before he got there. I can do that.
I drag myself to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror. I stopped trying with my appearance when I was a teen. No one was going to pay attention to someone so chubby and plain, so what was the point? Instead I focused on studying, reading, thinking.
Hiding.
I brush my thick hair back from my forehead and hold it all back with one hand so I can study my face. It’s time to confront things honestly. Exactly how do I look?
I think I have nice eyes, if I do say so myself. A pretty deep brown color with long lashes. Curly dark hair that’s thick and unruly and bunches around my face and shoulders no matter what I do. Definitely not as curly as my birth mother’s though. I kind of envy her tight curls. Nevertheless I wet my hair and work some gel into it and blow dry it back from my face.
I put on some makeup and look in the mirror. I don’t usually wear makeup, but I guess a day where I’m meeting nearly ten guys is as good a time as any to start.
My eyes look brighter with the lipstick, and I do have pretty nice, even brown skin with naturally rosy cheeks. And with my hair gelled and pulled behind my ears, I can see the face my mother gave me. A soft, heart-shaped face with a small nose and a wide mouth and eyes. A unique face, but a pretty one. Feminine, if nothing else.
I turn my attention to my body, lumpy under a misshapen hoodie. My typical uniform. I remember something my foster mom said once, just offhand, not trying to be hurtful.
“Honestly, Misty, if you just stopped wearing such baggy clothes, you wouldn’t look so big.”
I never listened. If I wore tighter clothes, people would see exactly how big I was. And nothing I did seemed to make any difference. Even when I gave up on diets and exercise and started eating donuts compulsively, it didn’t change anything. I just am the way I am, and that’s a little fat.
But still…
I go back to my room and change into a blue, tunic-length tee in soft material, one I’ve never been brave enough to wear before. I pair it with some jeans I bought months ago but never had the guts to go out in.
It’s weird seeing my body more accurately. Even though I’m soft and chubby, I definitely have an hourglass, a curve to my waist that looks sensuous even to my eyes. A great ass that is lifted and defined by the jeans. Great, high breasts. Formidable breasts.
I grin at the mirror.
Anyone who doesn’t like this can suck it. I’m gorgeous.
Yeah, keep trying to believe that, Misty, and maybe one day it’ll be true.
Well, fake it till you make it.
I tie my hair back into a soft ponytail so I can keep it out of my face while working with Lindon to get things ready.
Then the doorbell rings.
I take another look in the mirror. Am I ready to let him see me like this? He’s the whole reason you got ready, my heart whispers. You wanted to impress him.
I wave the thought away. As if someone like me could ever impress someone who looks like an airbrushed rendition of a beautiful angel.
The doorbell rings again. Anxious to not have him go off on me for making him wait, I swallow my nerves over my appearance and head downstairs.
But then I make a fatal mistake, and don’t check the keyhole before undoing the lock and swinging the door wide open.
Standing on the porch is a man with dark hair and jade green eyes. Tall, like Rafe. Cut, masculine features that are a little rougher than any of the shifters I’ve met so far. Rafe and his family have high cheekbones, fine bone structure and massive bodies.
This man has a broad jaw and blunt cheekbones, but a deeply sensuous mouth and long-lashed eyes that take me over with a heated gaze that makes me realize Rowan wasn’t lying after all.
Men like this really will want me.
He’s holding a bouquet of roses, and my eyes drop to them, then back up to take him in. Nice suit, beautiful shoulders and chest. A straight nose that fits perfectly in his masculine face. Grade-A male.
But I wasn’t supposed to open the door without Lindon. I’m not supposed to let anyone in, but I can’t just leave him here on the porch with his flowers. I can’t just shut the door in his face.
I shut the door behind me, deciding to compromise by just not going inside alone with him.
He comes a little closer, just a few feet away now. He reaches for my hand and I give it. He yanks me forward and wraps the hand holding the roses around my waist as he pulls me close to his body. He raises my hand to his lips, places a slow kiss there while his eyes sear into mine. “Misty, I presume?” he asks.
I nod, completely robbed of breath by being up against his body. He smells absolutely amazing. So tall, and those sleepy, jade green eyes…
“Alright, stop right there,” a deep, familiar voice calls. “Let her go, now.”
Lindon shuts a car door, presumably having just pulled up in the nick of time, and he storms toward us, rolling up his immaculately tailored sleeves as he goes.
My suitor turns to face him, not releasing me. “I’m sorry, who are you?”
“Lindon, of Rowan’s pack, and if you don’t get your hands off her in about five seconds, you’re going to wake up in about an hour not knowing your own name, let alone mine.”
Flower guy’s eyes widen and he backs up, releasing me suddenly and holding his hands up. His eyes flick between me and Lindon. “I wasn’t aware anyone from Rowan’s pack was competing.”
Lindon goes past him and ushers me toward the front door, shoving me inside ahead of him before turning back to the man. “I wasn’t aware we had to answer to you about how we arranged this. I’m as eligible as anyone.”
“Your pack already has its unfair share of alpha females.”
Lindon shrugs and grins, flashing a fang. “Maybe we just have better genetics.”
The other man tightens his hands into fists and the plastic wrap on the roses crinkles. Then he shakes his head and composes himself. “I’m Jack, by the way.”
“I don’t care,” Lindon says, folding his arms and raising to full height. “You’re early and you weren’t invited to be here early.”
“And you were?”
“I own the place,” Lindon says calmly.
Jack’s eyes flick to me. “But not everything in it.”
Lindon’s lips curl in a sneer. “We’ll see.”
Jack snaps his teeth together and sucks his cheeks in. “Fine. We’ll see.” He turns on his heel, then seems to remember his flowers and holds them out. Lindon swipes them before I can reach for them, and then raises an eyebrow at the other man, as if to suggest now there’s no reason for him to linger.
“Whatever,” Jack says, turning on his heel. “We’ll see, when the alpha challenges begin.” Jack throws me a charming smile when he reaches his car, and I can feel my cheeks flame. “I’ll see you soon, Misty,” he says, blowing a kiss as he gets in his car.
Lindon pretends to catch the kiss, then chucks it down at the ground and mimes grinding it underfoot. But Jack is already pulling away, giving me a silent wave.
I’m still trying to breathe properly. He’s a little rough, striking looking, but even more handsome than his photo. So that’s Jack. I can’t wait to meet the rest.
“Will they all smell like that?” I ask, as Lindon glares at me.
He tsks. “Probably, so if you like it, good for you.”
He walks past me, and a faint scent comes off him. Absolutely, undeniably amazing, the best scent I have ever smelled. But faint, like it’s being suppressed. He pulls me inside and shuts the door behind me. “You weren’t supposed to open th
e door without me,” he says.
“I forgot to check. Why do some smells smell stronger?” I ask, still confused how Lindon can smell better but yet the smell is very faint.
“Um, it…” I think I can see a light flush on those perfect, high cheekbones, and golden eyes flash in irritation. “I guess it depends on several things. How much the alpha is ready to mate, how much they like what they see, and of course, the level of arousal…”
I bite my lip. Oh.
“And some males frankly have a lot less control over themselves.”
“Is that why I can barely smell you?” I say, following him into the kitchen as he goes to get a glass of water.
“Yes. I’ve gotten quite good at suppressing my scent.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not looking to mate with anyone,” he says, leaning easily against the counter as he sips water from a cut crystal glass, looking completely at home in this luxurious environment. He’s wearing a navy sweater over a white, tailored shirt, and fitted chinos. I can still make out the shape of his body, those proud, wide shoulders, large deltoids curving to heavy biceps and thick forearms that taper to delicate wrists and hands with long, slim fingers.
And that face. A long nose, perfectly straight, situated over a beautiful mouth with naturally pigmented lips and a deep indent in the middle of the top lip that gives him a perfect cupid’s bow. A tiny dimple in one cheek when he’s either irked or grinning. Perfect, arched brows in a dark gold shade. Black lashes fanning out around golden eyes. A jaw that was drawn with two straight edges. A stubborn chin that juts slightly. A proud, tall forehead with a nice hairline. His hair is thick and soft, and I realize for the first time…
“Your hair, you cut it…” It used to be longer, sort of falling around his face and ears and collar. Now it’s short, maybe an inch on top and tousled, some kind of gel obscuring the beautiful shimmering colors in it.
He looks taller this way, sharper. Equally beautiful, but even more masculine.
“I really may let you take a picture if you’re going to keep ogling me like this…” he murmurs, setting his glass down on the counter.
Ultimate Alpha Boxed Set: A BBW and Wolf Shifter collection Page 40