He rubs the back of his neck and looks nervous. “About that…I guess, I didn’t know how to tell you, but we could sort of hear you being emotional earlier. But Matt and Lindon kept their lips zipped about anything they knew.”
I shrug. “You know, up until a little while ago, I thought I was human. And alone in the world. It’s not that this situation isn’t better, but it’s overwhelming. And in a way, I am alone. I don’t feel like there’s anyone I can trust.” I bite my lip, feeling like I’ve said too much.
“Well, you can trust me, if no one else,” he says, putting an arm around me. His eyes are knowing, like he’s trying to tell me he knows more than I think he does. Can I really trust him, maybe?
His kisses do make me feel safe, and maybe that’s better than that out of control passion I had with Lindon anyway.
“Alright, I’ll trust you,” I tell Jack, patting his knee.
“Great. Now let’s go get some dinner, put some meat on those bones,” he says, pulling me to my feet.
“Bones, ha!”
He just grins and jogs ahead to get the door.
Chapter 4
Dinner is kind of a quiet affair, at least for me. It’s my first time seeing Lindon since our talk today, and the bad mood between us is palpable, even at the long dining room table. Some of the guys try to break the silence and converse, but the heaviness of the mood in the room quickly silences all attempts.
Never one to be easily deterred, Thor clears his throat for another attempt. I’m starting to become quite affectionate toward the large man with the short dark red hair. I’m starting to see the man beneath the muscles and the grunts.
“I’m uh, I’m nearly done reading the mating book you’ve given me,” he says, ignoring the wide-eyed looks from the males around him.
Asher coughs on his food and hits his chest, dark hair flying over his face as he regains composure. He narrows dark eyes on Thor. “Mating book? What the hell did you give him that you didn’t give us?”
“I didn’t give it to him,” I say, swirling my spoon in my soup. “He sort of climbed in my window and ambushed me.”
“What?” Asher says.
“You can get in her window?” Bradley asks. I’m a little surprised that he’s the one that seems intrigued by that. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they all want to win and thus would all want to know about a way to get extra time alone with me.
“Depends on the level of male you are,” Thor says proudly. “How much skill and daring you possess, how willing you are to—”
“To break the rules,” Lock says, sharing an empathetic grin with me as all hell breaks lose.
“What book is this?” Asher asks again. “Mating? What kind of filthy female are you?”
I shrug and keep eating the soup. Seeing the men argue is a nice distraction from thinking about Lindon.
Thor takes out the book and hands it to Asher, who opens it eagerly. He reads a few pages and then throws it forward, knocking over a soup tureen that was nearly empty anyway. Still, Lindon gets up, calmly, and begins to wipe up the mess with a napkin.
“Holy shit, did you know she reads this stuff?” he asks, pointing at the wet book like it’s a piece of trash covered in contagious germs.
Thor takes the book back, frowning, and wipes it off. “It’s interesting. It’s not all about the mating. There’s a lot of talking, some rescues, some…fighting? Fighting emotionally. Oh, and some depressing stuff about the girl getting sick.”
Lindon looks up at that, oddly interested. He stands and walks to Thor and puts his hand out for the book. Thor shrugs and hands it over.
Lindon looks at the spine. His eyes widen slightly and then he opens it and flips a few pages forward, scanning it intently, urgently almost. Then he slams it closed and sets it back on the table and leaves the room.
Hm, grossed out by my habit? It’s not even a very explicit book. The sex scenes are really tasteful, very emotional and fitting with the romance. It’s been my favorite book since it came out a few years ago, and it stars a lonely duke who is brought out of his shell by a beautiful but impoverished woman with a plucky personality. Drama ensues, but is resolved in the end for a satisfying read overall.
It’s one of my favorites, and it’s a shame the author didn’t write another book afterward.
I kind of hoped Lindon would like it.
I feel eyes on me as Thor takes the book back and look up to see Hawes studying me.
His eyes move to rest on the book. “Here, hand that down.”
I put my hand out for Thor to give it to me and he does with a pout. I pass it to Hawes, who licks a finger and flicks through a couple pages and bites his lip, features tightening. He gives me an apologetic glance and puts the book down, keeping his finger in the spot where he was reading.
“Would you guys excuse me for a minute?” he asks, standing to leave the table.
“Sure,” I say. “We’re nearly done, anyway.” Hawes nods and walks out of the room, presumably to follow Lindon.
“I’m supposed to give you swim lessons after dinner, anyway,” Lock says to me, grinning. “We don’t want you drowning again.”
By now, the house has been updated on what happened. All they know is that I fell in the hot spring and we said nothing about someone intentionally pushing me.
A few grumble about the unfairness of the swim lesson, but as Lock swam in college, none of them really have a right to protest. And looking around at the grim, withdrawn faces I think I’m not the only one who’ll be doing much better after a night of sleep.
Thor sighs.
“Sorry he took your book,” I say apologetically. “I can try and order another copy.”
He shrugs. “I was just getting to the good part.”
“It gets super sad near the middle, when she gets sick.”
“Right, and then when the brother comes in, because she’s actually his wife?”
I nod. “Yeah, it gets pretty intense. That’s why I like fiction, there’s this false intensity you can just get lost in.”
Thor nods, and I get the idea that he actually gets what I’m saying.
I still want to know why the book seemed to upset Lindon. Can’t stand the romance, hm? Especially knowing you push everyone in your life far away from you?
I sneer at him in my mind and it only makes me feel slightly better than I did before.
“You ready, Misty?” Lock asks.
“Sure, I’ll go get dressed.”
“Aren’t you not supposed to swim after eating?” Thor asks.
Lock shakes his head. “Maybe not a 500 meter or something at full pace, but it’s a myth that casual swimming will hurt you if you’ve just eaten. Plus, there wasn’t a lot of eating going on.”
I groan at that. The males pushed food at me all dinner, but I just couldn’t make myself eat much of it. Even if it was cute that they were all so encouraging.
“I’ll get dressed and meet you down there,” I say. “See you soon.”
I push my chair back and slump up to my room. As I pass Lindon’s room, I hear loud voices behind the door. But they’re muffled, like they’re in a room within a room. I don’t stop to eavesdrop, I just open the door to my room and go straight to my clothing to rummage for a swimsuit.
I find one with a supportive top and control panel in the tummy to make me feel less self conscious and pause when the voices break through the walls between Lindon’s room and mine.
“Ava, Lindon. I didn’t know about Ava. What was she to you?”
I frown. Ava. The name sounds vaguely familiar, and I don’t know why.
Oh well, what Lindon does is none of my business.
“A book. A whole book about her, Lindon? Why the hell didn’t you tell any of us?” I hear something hit the wall, like it was thrown, and I hope it wasn’t the book I just lent Hawes.
“It was none of your business. None of you cared. So you don’t have to care now. You can just walk away, Hawes. No one asked you to
stick your nose in.”
“I’m your family, Lindon. I love you, whether you believe that or not. And I should have known. I thought we were close.”
Silence.
I pull on bottoms that match my tankini top. A small skirt that looks great on my butt and hips. I look in the mirrors and actually feel pretty happy with my curvy shape. I’m not sure if it’s the male attention or just being more confident in my own skin, but it feels good.
I grab a large towel from the bathroom and freeze on my way out when the voice speaks up again.
“What was the point of saying anything? It’s over. She’s dead. I’m doomed.”
My heart thumps. That was Lindon’s voice. I shouldn’t be listening. I know Lindon has baggage, but if he’s determined to live in the past and not tell me about it, then there’s nothing he can do.
He doesn’t want me. That’s all I need to know.
“Ironic that’s she’s reading it, though, right?” That’s Hawes’ voice.
I just stand there, holding my towel, not meaning to eavesdrop but not sure how to just put one foot in front of the other and walk away when I know they’re talking about me back there. The voices quiet and I force myself to take a few steps to the door and put my hand on the handle.
A door opens and closes loudly outside, and no one says anything else. I open my door and head out, only to find myself face to face with Lindon, who is also leaving his room. He raises to full height, a slight frown on his face and a vein twitching by the side of his forehead.
“Were you listening?” he asks.
“No,” I lie. After all I didn’t hear anything enough to know exactly what was going on there. Lindon shakes his head and storms away, and I watch his tall, impressive figure and perfect back and ass walk away, trying to remind myself he’s an jerk who lied. Trying to pretend I’m not attracted to him anymore.
Hawes comes out of Lindon’s room, looking a little deflated. When he sees me he gives me that fake, twinkly smile that he seems to use on anyone to pretend everything is okay. I don’t buy it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says. “Here’s your book back.” He eyes me. “Going for your swimming lesson? Lock should be a good teacher.” He puts out an arm. “Come on, I’ll walk you down.”
I take his arm. It doesn’t feel odd, he already sort of feels like a brother to me.
“Hawes, what does Lindon do for a living?” I ask, realizing I don’t really know what anyone does here.
“Oh, this and that,” he says. “To be honest my family has the money to do whatever they want with their free time.”
“But, does he have any hobbies? He’s in his room a lot, and Rowan said he was living here in this huge place alone before we came to do the alpha challenges here.”
Hawes stops and pulls his arm away and stares at me with serious eyes. Orange flashes in the irises. “I think you’ll have to ask Lindon that. He does have a job though. One he’s rather successful at. I think you’ll find he’s a man of many talents.”
“I probably won’t find out much,” I say. “I don’t want to anymore.”
“Ah, you found out about the secret,” he says, eyeing me with pity.
I growl. “I was bound to.”
“For what it’s worth, I think he thought he was doing the right thing. Our father can be…persuasive.”
“It’s one thing to lie to me. It’s another to lie while kissing me.”
Hawes rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s why I told him it wasn’t fair.”
“It wasn’t. You were right to intervene.”
“Thank you,” he says. opens the door to the downstairs and we descend in quiet for a few moments. “You know, there’s a lot you don’t know about my brother. But he’s a good man, Misty. A good person. He’s just been through a lot,” he says.
“A good wolf, you mean?”
He laughs. “Yes, I guess so. But he’s in a rough place right now. An unmated male, confused about the past, trying to stay distant from you while trying to protect you, in conflict with his own feelings.”
“I get that, but it’s been hard for me too. And I have to look out for myself right now.”
“I understand, I was just…I don’t know. I thought you two would be good for each other.” Before I can respond, Hawes opens a new door and I gasp at the large, sparkling lap pool. There’s a beautiful tiled floor to the side of the pool and a hot tub raised up above the ground.
“Man, this place is huge,” I say.
Lock is sitting on one of the deck chairs and stands to greet us. He smiles at me and puts a hand out for Hawes to shake and then pulls him into a man hug. They exchange friendly banter, apparently having known each other for some time.
I shyly put my towel down at the side and dip a toe into the water. Cool, but a nice temperature considering the warmth in the room.
Hawes waves to Lock and leaves us alone.
I fold my arms across myself. I like Lock. I think he’s one of the hottest, nicest guys in the house. But I still know there’s a murderer on the loose, and sometimes it’s the person you’re least expecting. I eye him warily and he reaches out a hand for me to join him in the water.
Chapter 5
“I think we’ll teach you to float first,” Lock says.
I press my lips together and nod.
“Hey, don’t be so nervous. As long as I’m here, nothing’s going to happen to you.”
The statement makes me blush. I wade all the way into the water, which comes to a little bit above my waist in the shallow end of the pool. Lock puts his hands on my shoulders. They’re warm and reassuring, but my brain has a slight fear that he could push me down under and hold me there.
I look up to see amber brown eyes searching mine, gentle concern in his face. He has taken his piercings out and looks quite different right now. His beautiful almond eyes have long lashes, and little drips of moisture cling to them, and to his hair, which is tied back by a headband, though a few wild pieces escape to frame his face.
He’s shirtless and was probably swimming for a bit before I came down with Hawes. His tanned chest is dotted with moisture, little drops running around well-formed pecs.
He puts out a hand to brush a stray hair out of my face.
“What’s wrong, Misty?”
I frown at him. “It’s just been a rough day.”
“Want to talk about it?”
I smile up at him. He’s the first person to ask me if I just wanted to talk and have someone listen. Too bad I can’t tell him anything about what’s bothering me. “No, thanks for offering though. How are things going for you?”
He grins and runs a hand through the hair at the back of his head, shaking water out of it as he ruffles it. “Not too bad. Excited to finally get you wet.”
My eyes widen and when I look up I notice his lips are turned up slightly at the corner.
Ah banter. He remembers that it seems to relax me. My brain is almost too tired to get into it, but I still try to think of something to counter with.
But what he said is so dirty. I laugh out loud just thinking of possibilities to respond with, and he comes forward and pushes my shoulders down.
I gasp but then his hand comes up under my waist, holding me on my back.
“If you’re too tired for witty comebacks, then we better make sure nothing like what happened today ever happens again. I’m going to teach you how to float.”
I nod and give him a grin, regaining trust with him again. I haven’t been with him alone since our motorcycle ride. There’s such an easy chemistry between us, it’s fun.
He’s patient with me, laughing when I can’t seem to relax my muscles the right way or keep exhaling and sinking. He keeps me up and sticks with it until I’m finally floating on my own.
“There!” he says, folding his impressive arms and looking pleased. “Perfect! No more drowning for you.”
I grin at him and hold my float, staying relaxed
and keeping my lungs half full of air. Then I put my legs under me and stand in triumph, pumping a fist into the air.
He can’t resist stepping forward and pulling me in for a hug. The feel of my warm, wet body up against his is irresistible and I swear I can actually feel the pheromones releasing. He tenses against me, but then just tucks his head into my shoulder and nuzzles, inhaling deeply.
“I’ve really never smelled anything like you,” he murmurs. “I’m not usually so affected.”
“Is it just because I’m wet?” I ask, finally rebutting his earlier statement.
He barks out a laugh and holds me tighter. “I’d like to get you a different kind of wet,” he murmurs in a low, quiet voice.
I freeze at that. I can hear the want in his voice, hear the wolf in me responding to it in shock. Lock, gentle, funny Lock wants me like that? I mean, explicitly? He just said the most graphic thing of anyone here and yet is just standing there holding me tenderly.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” he asks.
Lindon flashes into my mind and I shake him way. “No.”
“Me neither. How about love at third sight?”
“How many times have we seen each other?”
“A few. But I’m counting the special times. Like this morning,” he says in a low, sexy voice.
Tension fills the room, and he sets me back on my feet but keeps his hands on my much smaller arms.
“Lock…” I don’t know what to tell him right now. I barely know him. I like him, but I’m not anywhere near a decision.
“I won’t mate you,” he said. “Not unless you ask me. There’s lots we can do without going all the way.”
He runs his tongue up my neck, gliding easily along the wet, exposed flesh. He comes closer and kneads a hand into my waist, pulling me against him so that I feel small and owned by him. I can feel his need for me to be his in every touch.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve been bonding with him more than with the others, maybe that’s why he feels so free.
But the things I think he wants to do. I’ve never done them with another man. I think a stupid part of me wanted to do them with Lindon first.
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