I was tired, but more than anything else, I was done.
I couldn’t do this anymore. It wasn’t fair to either of us. Luca had already done so much for me and the baby, but he deserved to have his space back and not to have to deal with us. I needed to move on again. Make a life for myself and Love Bug that wouldn’t rip out both our hearts when Luca decided later on down the road that we weren’t what he wanted.
Earlier, I’d called the pilot and told him to get the plane ready. It wasn’t smart to fly as pregnant as I was, but I needed to get back to Santa Monica so I could have the baby there. Shaw and my mom would be with me, so it wasn’t like I had to give birth alone. They were both supposed to fly out and stay at Shaw’s parents’ place closer to my due date, but I needed to go home before I made things even harder on myself with Luca.
“Morning, babe,” Luca said with a yawn as he walked to the coffeepot and poured himself a huge mug. He was in nothing more than a pair of basketball shorts with his chest and feet bare as he turned around so his back was against the counter, sipping his coffee with his eyes closed.
I sat at the island, letting my eyes eat up the sight of him like that for the last time. Luca was nothing but muscle, everywhere. His wide shoulders, thick chest, and tapered waist were hard as a rock. His abs were so defined, it was like he had canyons between them, and my fingers literally ached to trace them.
But he’d never let me touch him like that in the past, and I didn’t know if I would survive if he stopped me should I try now. I couldn’t help wondering if maybe he’d been repulsed by my touch all those years ago and that was why he’d never wanted me to touch him. Maybe our age difference had just been an excuse not to hurt my feelings back then.
When his lashes started to lift, I quickly shifted my gaze so that when he finally looked at me, I was staring out the kitchen window. It was already turning into a beautiful day. The sun was lifting into the sky, and I could hear the birds chirping from the trees, along with Krush’s happy barks in the distance.
I’d let him out earlier so he could have a good run before we left for the airport since he would be cooped up on the plane all day. He loved chasing after the squirrels in the woods that separated Luca’s property from one side of the Nialls’ farm, and I knew I was going to have to go out and find him after Luca left so we could leave.
“You’re quiet this morning,” Luca commented, crossing to me and setting his mug on the island’s surface between us. I felt his eyes on me, but I didn’t have the strength to meet his gaze. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m good,” I murmured, knowing I was being a coward. I should tell him that I was leaving, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure if I could refuse if he tried to talk me into staying, and if he told me goodbye, I was certain what was left of my heart would completely shatter.
“Vi, hey.” He took one of my hands, squeezing it in an attempt to get me to look at him. “Tell me what’s wrong. I can tell there’s something. Talk to me, babe.”
I forced a smile and dared to lift my eyes until I was looking at his chin. “Just a little bit of a headache. I didn’t sleep last night. I think I’ll take a walk once you leave. I’m sure the fresh air will clear my head.”
He was quiet for a moment before nodding. “Okay, but don’t go too far unless you take Jenner with you. It looks nice out right now, but the forecast is calling for rain this morning.”
“Just a short one,” I promised. “I’ll probably have to go looking for Krush anyway.”
“Yeah, he’s been after that red squirrel. The damn thing loves to torment him.” He touched my chin, his thumb skimming just under my bottom lip. I wanted to beg him to kiss me, to show me just once that this meant more to him than just a promise he’d made. Instead, I kept my mouth closed, and when he dropped his hand, I swallowed the lump instantly filling my throat.
“You should get in the shower,” I told him as I stood. “Don’t want to be late for practice.”
“Yeah,” he said after a short pause. “Give me ten minutes. I want to talk to you before I leave.”
I waited for him to leave the room before opening the back door. I could still hear Krush barking in the distance, but the sound was getting farther away. Sighing, I walked to the garage and up the stairs to the apartment. I knocked, and Jenner opened the door moments later.
He was dressed in black sweats and a matching T-shirt. I knew his schedule just as well as my own. He was awake at the crack of dawn and took a run along the backside of the property. Aunt Marissa told me she’d seen him running along their property line one day when she was in her garden early one morning, which told me he ran at least ten miles when he went all the way to their house and back. Afterward, he came back to the apartment and showered before coming over to the house to ask if I needed anything or had to go anywhere that day.
“What’s wrong?” he asked before I could open my mouth.
I glanced at the house then back at him. “I’m going to search for Krush, and then once Luca is gone for the day, we’re leaving.”
“Okay. What time is your appointment?”
“No,” I gritted out. “We’re going back to Santa Monica. Pack everything that you want to take with us, because we’re not coming back.”
I felt his surprise and turned to go in search of my dog. Behind me, Jenner stepped out onto the porch. “Does Luca know about this?”
“It’s none of his business,” I snapped. “And if you tell him, you’re fired.”
“Violet, what’s going on?” His voice was so gentle, I felt tears fill my eyes.
“Nothing,” I told him honestly. “Please be ready. I don’t want to wait around after I get back with Krush.”
I walked toward the sound of Krush’s barking in the woods. A few times, I thought I was getting close, only for him to stop barking and start a few minutes later even farther away. I could imagine his tormenter, that damn red squirrel jumping from tree to tree on the lower branches to piss Krush off because it was just out of his reach. I’d seen them playing like that more than a few times in the past few weeks. It was Krush’s favorite game, and he’d been spending more and more time outside because of it.
I reached the Nialls’ property, but I was still in the woods when the sun suddenly disappeared behind a bank of dark clouds I hadn’t noticed before. Thunder rumbled, and a flash of lightning streaked through the sky just as the clouds opened up and rain started pelting down on me.
“Krush,” I called out, frustrated and fed up with my dog. “Here, boy. Let’s go home. Come on, Krushy. Come here, buddy.”
Suddenly, I heard him running toward me, but his eyes were on the trees above him and not me. “Krush!” I called just as his heavy body bumped into me at full speed.
With a startled cry, I reached out, hoping to grab on to a tree or a bush, something to stop my fall, but there was nothing, and I landed on my ass—hard—with the air knocked out of me.
Gasping, it took me a moment to realize something was wrong. At first, I thought I must have landed in a mud puddle, but when I looked down at my light purple maternity leggings, I realized my mistake just as a powerful, sharp pain pierced through my lower belly.
I wasn’t mud I was sitting in. It was a pool of my own blood as it gushed out of me.
“Help,” I whispered in fear, then quickly started shouting. I’d left my phone back in the kitchen, thinking I wouldn’t be gone long. Now, I was all alone in the woods, with the rain coming down in buckets. I was in deep, deep trouble. “Someone please help me!”
Another thunderclap was the only reply I got, so I tried again. “Please, someone, anyone!” I wasn’t sure how far I was from the Nialls’ house, but I knew it was closer than Luca’s and he was probably gone to practice by now anyway. “Help!”
I heard something heavy moving toward me, and I looked up, hoping it was Krush. But when I saw the horse and its rider, I nearly sobbed in relief. Doe Niall was the youngest of the
Nialls’ four children, but only by a few minutes. Her mother had named her Dorothy because The Wizard of Oz was her favorite movie. Her father called her Dorie, but her brothers had always called her Doe, and that was the name that stuck, because everyone else had called her that since she was a little girl.
Doe looked so much like her mother, with her soft blue eyes and long dark hair, that people sometimes mistook her for Aunt Marissa from a distance, but she was taller than her mother and more slender too. With her hair pulled back in a high ponytail, dressed in jeans and a blue flannel shirt, she looked like my guardian angel.
She jumped down off her horse with ease and ran over to me. “Violet?” she cried when she took me in. “Sweet holy, what have you done to yourself?”
The rain had soaked through my shirt, and my hair was dripping from it, making me shiver even as more and more blood continued to pour out of me. But before I could tell her what happened, another sharp pain hit me, and I wrapped my arms around my belly as I cried out from the pain and fear.
This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not like this. I couldn’t lose the baby. Not when she was all I had left of Remington.
“Can you stand?” Doe asked, trying to distract me from the pain.
I shook my head. “I’m scared to move.”
“Crap.” She glanced around frantically. “My parents are at a baseball tournament for my brothers this morning, and I broke my phone yesterday when I dropped it.” She twisted her hands together. “Please tell me Luca is home.”
“I-I don’t know,” I cried through another pain. “He’s probably already left for practice. But Jenner should be there.”
“Your bodyguard who runs by our house every day?” I nodded. “Okay. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just stay calm, Vi.” She hoisted herself back into the saddle and urged the horse into a gallop as she took off in the direction of Luca’s house.
Krush suddenly whined, running back to me. I hugged his neck, and he whined again, as if telling me he was sorry. “It’s okay, sweet boy,” I tried to soothe. “I’m okay.”
I hoped.
Chapter 52
Luca
I paced back and forth on the front porch, waiting for Violet to return from her walk. I’d told her I wanted to talk to her, but she’d gone for a walk instead of waiting for me to get out of the shower. If she thought she could avoid talking to me because I would leave for practice, she was going to be disappointed.
I would skip that day and any other day that followed until she told me what was wrong with her. I could see something was on her mind, but she was too damn stubborn to tell me what was going on with her. I’d sensed her growing further and further away from me over the past few days, and that morning I’d had a sick feeling in my stomach when she wouldn’t even meet my gaze.
It started raining, and I cursed. She was going to catch a cold if she wasn’t careful. And with the baby due in only a few short weeks, it could drain her before she gave birth.
I gave it another ten minutes before I started down the steps. When I found her, I was going to spank her ass.
As I reached the bottom step, Jenner came out of his apartment. I stopped and waited for him, not caring that I was getting drenched in the pouring rain. He was dressed in his usual suit, but when he saw me, his brows lifted. “I thought you left for practice already.”
“I’m waiting on Violet,” I explained. “Did you see which way she went for her walk?”
“She told me she was going in search of Krush. I think she went that way.” He lifted his chin in the direction over my shoulder. I turned, not wanting to waste any more time when Violet could already be getting sick, but his next words stopped me cold in my tracks. “She said she would fire me if I told you, but I don’t give a fuck. She told me we were going to Santa Monica once she got back with the dog.”
I jerked around to face him. “She what?” I whispered, but I didn’t know if he even heard me. Fuck. She’d lost her damn mind. I was going to find her and set her straight on whatever the hell was going through that head of hers. This was getting out of hand, and I was tired of this distance between us.
“Did you two have a fight?” Jenner asked.
Before I could form words, I heard a shout and then the hard gallop of a horse. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Wroth Niall’s only daughter coming toward us at full speed on the back of her favorite horse. I’d know Doe all her life. Her father was the lead guitarist for OtherWorld, so she was like any other cousin I had. Uncle Wroth was one of the few men who scared the hell out of me, and I respected him. But his daughter was sweet and gentle like her mom, making most of the world want to turn their hearts over to her just for a smile.
“Luca,” she gasped as she pulled the horse up beside us. “Thank goodness. Violet. She fell. I didn’t want to try to move her myself because I might have caused more damage than good. But she’s bleeding. And having contractions.”
The bottom fell out of my stomach, and I grabbed her leg in the stirrup. “Where?” I rasped.
“She needs an ambulance,” she panted, tears filling her soft blue eyes. “It’s just past your property line onto ours.”
“Doe, take me to her.” I pulled myself up behind her on the horse and glanced back at Jenner. “Call for an ambulance. Tell them I’ll meet them at the side road just off the Nialls’ property. Do you know which one I’m talking about?”
“I know it. Go. I’ll be right behind you.”
Doe urged the horse back to Violet, and I held on for dear life. It felt like it took forever to get to her, but soon I saw Krush’s big black body and then Violet’s blond head.
She was hugging the dog with one arm while the other rubbed her stomach. When she saw me, her tears turned into sobs. “Luca. I’m in labor.”
I jumped down and quickly assessed what was going on. She was sitting in a pool of her own blood that scared the living hell out of me. Her face was pale, her lips almost blue from how cold she was as rainwater dripped from her hair and the tip of her nose. She looked tiny, fragile, and broken.
Bending, I lifted her into my arms, called out for Doe to take care of Krush for us, and took off at a dead run for the side road. It was a good half mile from where we were, but thankfully I could hear sirens in the distance. By the time I got to the road, an ambulance was speeding toward us.
Stopping, I waited for them, and only minutes later, I was in the back of the emergency vehicle with Violet. While one paramedic drove, the other guy cut Violet’s pants off and cursed viciously.
“Drive faster,” he shouted to his partner. “We may have a placental abruption.”
“What does that mean?” Violet asked, clutching at my hand. She was shivering so hard that she was making me shake, but I didn’t know if it was from cold or fear.
“It means you’re going to need a C-section,” the paramedic said, trying to keep his voice calm as he gave her a tight smile. Grabbing his phone, he put it to his ear and, not two seconds later, started relaying how far we were from the hospital and giving whoever was on the other end instructions.
I didn’t understand anything he said because it was in medical terms and codes, but I could tell that whatever was going on wasn’t good. I clutched at Violet, terrified as she continued to bleed and suffer pains on the short ride to the hospital.
The driver came to a jarring stop in the ambulance bay of the emergency room, and the back doors opened immediately from the outside. A guy and three women in surgical scrubs reached in and pulled Violet away from me on her gurney.
“Are you Dad?” the guy asked as I jumped out behind them. When they started running, each of them pushing the gurney, I kept up with them.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.
“Good. Once we get upstairs, I need you to follow Mandy. She’s going to get you some scrubs. Change into them and wait where she tells you. Once we have your wife set up, someone will show you in so you can be with her.”<
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Everything was moving so fast, I didn’t have time to ask what was happening. Suddenly, we were on an elevator, and not ten seconds later, the doors opened again. The guy and two of the women took off running again, while the one I assumed was Mandy grabbed me by the elbow and steered me down a different hall.
“Your wife is having an emergency C-section,” she explained before I could even ask. “Rodney called ahead and told us she has a possible placental abruption. We can’t take the chance that he’s wrong. Every second counts when there is a complication like this.”
I froze at how serious her face looked. “What…” I inhaled deeply and quickly blew it out, trying to calm my pounding heart. “What kind of complications?”
She paused outside a door and grimaced. “Abruption puts both mother and baby in danger.” She grasped my arm a little tighter. “I understand how hard it will be for you, but both your wife’s and child’s lives are in danger right now. Your wife seems to have already lost a lot of blood, and the baby could possibly be deprived of oxygen. We won’t know until the doctor has the baby out. Please…prepare yourself, sir.”
With those words echoing in my head, I quickly changed into the scrubs she gave me, along with a mask to put over my nose and mouth, a surgical cap, and booties that went over my shoes. I didn’t realize how wet I was until I changed into the dry scrubs.
Mandy showed me where to wait, but I couldn’t stand still. I didn’t have my phone so I couldn’t call her mom or Shaw. I didn’t know if Jenner was at the hospital yet or not, or if he even knew what was going on. For a second, I wondered how pissed my coach was going to be that I didn’t show up for practice, but he could suck my dick. I had more important shit to worry about than to care if he benched me or not.
Standing outside the operating room where Mandy told me Violet was being prepped for her C-section, I closed my eyes. “I fucked up, Remington. She was going to leave me. And now, she and Love Bug are in danger. I’m so sorry, man. So damn sorry. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know…” I swallowed the knot of tears trying to block my throat. “What do I do? Show me what I need to do to make this right.”
Loving Violet Page 35