by Karen King
‘And what about in a couple of years’ time? You might feel like you want a child then.’
‘I’m not hankering for another child. I only want you. You’ll always be enough for me,’ he promised. ‘What about you? Would you like to have a child?’ His tone was tender and he’d moved so close she could feel his warm breath on her neck.
‘I don’t know. But I would like to have the choice.’ She tried to catch the sob but it was out before she could stop it. Then she felt his arms around her, and he spun her around, pressed her head in his shoulder, and held her as she cried.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I realise this must be really tough for you.’
It felt so good in his arms that she wanted to stay there forever. ‘Sorry, I don’t normally get upset over it,’ she mumbled, taking the hankie he offered her and wiping her eyes. ‘I came to terms with it years ago.’
‘It’s a big thing, Saffy, massive. You have every right to be upset about it but please don’t think that it matters to me. Having you in my life is enough for me.’
She looked up at him. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Positive. And if at some time in the future we both feel like we want a child together there are other options we can explore, but whatever happens, you are enough for me.’
‘And you – and Chloe – you’ll always be enough for me,’ she told him.
‘Good.’ His lips found hers and they kissed, their bodies melting against each other. Then Logan raised his head, still holding her tight, his eyes meeting hers. ‘Look, I’m not expecting you to move in or be a mother to Chloe but we come as a package. There are times when she’ll be with me and I need to know that you’re okay with that.’
How could he even ask that question? She loved spending time with Chloe, surely he knew that? But she understood it was because Chloe’s own mother had walked out and left her and he didn’t want his little girl to be hurt again or to feel pushed out.
‘You must know that I adore Chloe. We even share a love of polar bears,’ she reminded him.
He kissed her on the forehead. ‘You’re brilliant with her. But there are times I might have to cancel things we’ve arranged at the last minute because she’s ill, or I can’t get a sitter.’
‘That’s not a problem,’ she assured him.
‘Can I take it that we’re in a proper relationship then?’ he asked, his eyes brimming with love.
She nodded. ‘You can.’
Then they were in each other’s arms, kissing and caressing again and this time when they made love it was like a commitment to each other, a promise of a loving future together.
When they were both finally sated and she lay snuggled up to Logan’s bare chest, feeling his arms cradling her, Saffy thought that she had never felt happier.
‘How do you feel about me staying over tonight?’ Logan asked softly, as he traced her lips with his thumb. ‘Would you prefer to be on your own, to settle in?
She couldn’t think of anything she’d like more than to have him stay with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. ‘I’d love you to stop over.’
‘Then how about I order us that takeaway? I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.’
She rolled over on top of him and tapped his nose teasingly with her finger. ‘I can’t think how you’ve worked up such an appetite.’
He smiled up at her. ‘Takeaway, then finish tidying up and bed?’
‘You really do have only one thing on your mind, don’t you?’ she said. Then he pulled her down and started kissing her again and it was another hour before they finally had the takeaway.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
It was gone ten when they woke, opening their eyes at the same time and smiling at each other as they lay face to face. They’d fallen asleep that way, and although they must have moved several times in the night, had somehow woken in the same position.
‘This is how I’d like to wake every day, with you being the first thing that I see when I open my eyes,’ Logan said, wrapping his arms around her, his eyes ablaze with love.
‘Me too,’ she whispered back. ‘But I think we’re going to have to settle for the occasional weekend for a while.’ Logan had Chloe and Saffy had a six-month lease on this flat; there was no way they were going to live together in a hurry. Neither of them wanted that yet, though. Saffy wanted to concentrate on her career for a while and she knew that Logan wanted to give Chloe time to get used to them being together before they took things any further.
‘I know. We’ll get there gradually,’ he said. ‘As long as we love each other we can work anything out.’ His eyes held hers. ‘You do love me, don’t you?’
‘Absolutely.’ She moved in for a cuddle and they embraced for a while. She loved it, this feeling of happiness, that all was well with the world, which enveloped her whenever Logan held her in his arms. She didn’t want to move and disturb such a precious moment but she needed the loo, and a drink, in that order.
‘Fancy a cuppa?’ Logan asked, as if he’d read her thoughts.
‘Please.’ She eased herself out of his arms. ‘And the bathroom.’
‘Tea or coffee?’ He pulled himself up, watching admiringly as she threw back the covers and looked around for her dressing-gown. Damn, she hadn’t unpacked it – hadn’t unpacked anything except the pillows, duvet and bedding so they could make the bed.
‘Tea please, one sugar,’ she said as she headed for the bathroom. ‘And don’t keep staring at me!’ Then she turned as she heard him chuckle. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘When you headed off to the bathroom like that, all self-conscious. It reminded me of when I called to bring the vegetables and you were wearing your polar bear onesie. You looked so awkward at being caught dressed in it.’ His eyes were dancing with laughter.
‘I was,’ she said, returning his grin. ‘But hey, it got me top marks with Chloe. We bonded over polar bears.’
‘So you did.’ Suddenly he stopped laughing and his eyes deepened as they lowered.
‘Now what are you staring at?’
‘Fancy coming back to bed for a bit?’
‘You’re insatiable. Go put the kettle on,’ she ordered, but her face lit up with a smile as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
* * *
When they’d showered, and Logan had fetched breakfast supplies while Saffy unpacked, they went for a walk by the river, strolling hand in hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As she sat on the bench, watching the ducks, Saffy felt that she would burst with happiness.
They had lunch out then went back to the flat, where they sat talking, sharing stories about their childhoods, and their pasts, their likes and dislikes. It was as if they were trying to pile it all in that afternoon because they didn’t know when they’d get the chance again.
The afternoon flew by and Saffy felt a sense of loss when Logan glanced at his watch. ‘I’m sorry but I have to go. Jade’s bringing Chloe back at six.’
‘That’s fine. Give Chloe my love,’ Saffy said. ‘I’ll phone you later.’ When will we see each other again? she wondered. Perhaps she could visit Hannah on Saturday and spend some time with Logan – and Chloe – then.
‘I’m in the office on Wednesday, maybe we could meet for lunch,’ Logan suggested.
‘That sounds good… and I could pop down to see Hannah at the weekend. Or is that too soon?’
‘Of course not. I wish I could see you every day.’ He paused, an anxious look coming over his face. ‘I wish you could stop over with me but…’
‘But you want me to stay over at Hannah’s until Chloe gets used to the idea of us being together?’ she finished for him. She’d already guessed that. Knowing how protective Logan was of his little daughter, she was quite sure that he wouldn’t want her to sleep over.
‘For a little while, if you don’t mind? I don’t want Chloe to think it’s normal for grown-ups to sleep together as soon as they get together.’ He looked a bit
awkward. ‘I’m sorry, I know it sounds a bit prudish and as if I’m pushing you away.’
‘It’s not a problem. I don’t think I’m comfortable with Chloe finding us in bed together just yet either. We can save that for the weekends she’s at her mum’s.’
‘Deal. It’s only for a month or two.’ He caressed her cheek with his fingertips. ‘You’re really special, Saffy, you know that?’ His lips were mere centimetres away from hers now.
‘You’re not too bad yourself,’ she said.
Then their lips met and there was no more talking.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
August - Five months later
‘Saffy!’ Chloe came running in and threw her arms around Saffy. ‘I was hoping you hadn’t gone home yet.’
‘I thought I’d stop and see you.’ Saffy pulled the little girl down to sit beside her on the sofa. ‘What’s your little brother like?’ Jade had given birth to a little boy last week so Grant had fetched Chloe to take her to show him.
‘He’s so cute. I wish we had a baby,’ Chloe said. ‘Do you think you and Daddy might have a baby?’
Saffy swallowed and looked over at Logan. What did she say to that? Tell her the truth, she thought, otherwise she’ll keep asking. ‘No, because I can’t have any children, I’m afraid,’ she said slowly. ‘Not everyone can have babies.’
Chloe’s eyes widened. ‘Oh, poor you.’ She gave her a big hug. ‘Never mind, you can share me with Daddy.’
Tears pricked Saffy’s eyes as she smiled down at the little girl. ‘Thank you. I’d like that.’
‘It doesn’t matter, Saffy and I are very happy how we are,’ Logan added, then quickly changed the subject. ‘What’s your little brother called?’
‘Sam. He’s so tiny. I held him on my lap for a bit but then he did a poo and Mummy had to change his nappy.’ She pulled a face. ‘He cries a lot in the night though.’ She scrambled off the sofa. ‘Can I have some crisps?’
‘Sure, there’s some in the kitchen cupboard,’ Logan told her. As soon as Chloe disappeared into the kitchen he went over to Saffy, sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry about Chloe. Did she upset you?’
Saffy shook her head. ‘She’s bound to talk about it, especially now that she has a new baby brother, so I thought it was best to be honest, then she won’t keep asking.’ She fixed her eyes on Logan’s face, searching. ‘Are you sure it doesn’t bother you? I’ll understand if you think you can’t deal with it. It’s perfectly understandable that you might want another child.’
‘I’ve told you, all I want is you.’ He leaned forward and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. This man and Chloe, that’s all she needed. They hugged in a comfortable silence for a while then Logan relaxed his hold and looked down at her. ‘I’ve been thinking, your contract on your flat is up soon, isn’t it?’
She’d been thinking about that herself only last night. ‘Yes, next month.’
‘So how do you fancy moving in here? You spend most of your time here anyway and I can’t think of anything I’d like better than to wake up with you every morning.’ He placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted her face so he could read her expression. ‘Is it too soon for you? Do you prefer your own space? I understand if you do.’
She couldn’t think of anything she’d like more than to wake up with Logan either. And to share her life with him and Chloe. ‘I’d love to move in with you,’ she assured him. ‘Should we make sure Chloe is okay with it first, though?’
Logan kissed her again, for a very long time. When they came up for air, he called Chloe downstairs.
‘What’s up?’ she asked, looking from one to the other. ‘You both look very pleased.’
‘I’ve asked Saffy to move in with us and she’s agreed,’ Logan told her. ‘Is that okay with you?’
‘YESSS!’ Chloe screamed, running and putting her arms around Saffy. ‘When are you moving in? Today?’
‘We haven’t actually discussed when yet but in a couple of weeks,’ Saffy replied, pleased at the little girl’s response. She’d formed quite a bond with her over the last few months and had been pretty sure that Chloe would be happy to have her around on a more permanent basis, but you never could tell.
Chloe gave Logan a hug next then went back upstairs to play.
‘How about I ask Annie to babysit and we go out for a meal to celebrate?’ Logan suggested.
‘I’ve got a better idea. Let’s go for a pizza and take Chloe with us,’ Saffy replied.
‘Are you sure?’ Logan asked.
She reached out and squeezed his hand. ‘We’re going to be a family so let’s start out how we mean to go on. You and I can have a night out alone another time, but today I want us to celebrate with Chloe.’
* * *
Later that night as they lay in each other’s arms in bed, after a celebratory pizza with Chloe, Logan thought he’d never felt happier. He could still barely believe that Saffy had agreed to move in with him. He had been plucking up the courage to ask her for weeks but knew that he was asking a lot of her, to take on a ready-made family, and even though the issues with Jade were sorted for now he was pretty sure more would come up in the future. He had to make sure Saffy knew what she was letting herself in for. He so desperately wanted this to work out and was prepared to back off and let Saffy move at her own pace, if necessary. He didn’t want her to feel trapped in any way. He didn’t want to risk losing her.
He squeezed her shoulder gently and asked softly, ‘You are really sure about moving in, aren’t you, Saffy? Chloe can be a handful at times. Obviously, I’ll look after her as much as I can but there will be times I’m at work and you’ll be left in charge. Are you okay with that?’
She raised her head and smiled at him. ‘No problem. I love Chloe, you know I do. And yes, I know it won’t be all plain sailing but together we’ll sort it.’
And he was sure they would. When Jade had left him he’d known that Chloe was solely his responsibility, that her happiness and welfare were all that mattered. He’d resigned himself to living alone for the foreseeable future because he would never trust another woman enough to let them into Chloe’s life again. Then Saffy had come along and wrapped herself around his heart. And he felt certain that she would never let him down, that she would love Chloe almost as much as he did. He couldn’t be any happier than he was right now. This was what he wanted forever.
‘What about your flat in Birmingham? Are you still going to rent that out?’ he asked.
‘I was thinking of selling it because I feel really settled down here. It’s lovely to be near Hannah and the twins and now we’re together I definitely won’t be going back to Birmingham to live. I could carry on renting, of course, but the rent just about covers the mortgage so I don’t make any profit from it. And I feel like that’s my old life, I want to draw a line under it.’ She turned onto her back and gazed up at him. ‘If I sell I’ll probably be left with a couple of grand when it’s all settled. I guess it could get me a new car.’
‘Or pay for a honeymoon.’ He watched the expression on her face change from surprise to… was that delight? The words surprised him too; he hadn’t planned them. They’d just popped out but now he thought about it, yes, he would like to marry Saffy.
‘Are you proposing to me?’ she asked.
‘Hang on.’ He got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Finding what he wanted he returned to the bedroom then got down on one knee and held out his closed hand. Saffy sat up and hugged her knees.
‘Saffron Baxter, will you please marry me?’ he asked, opening his hand to reveal a tiny purple sparkly hairband
Saffy giggled. ‘Yes please.’
Logan grinned and slid the purple band onto the ring finger of her left hand. ‘I now pronounce us engaged,’ he said. ‘We’ll go shopping in the week and get you a proper ring.’
‘I think I like the purple band.’ She smiled. ‘So what do we do now?’
&nb
sp; ‘Now we consummate our engagement,’ he said, pulling back the bedclothes and getting into bed.
* * *
‘Engaged!’ Hannah squealed in delight as Saffy showed her the diamond engagement ring she and Logan had chosen whilst Chloe was at school. They were telling Chloe when she came home from school later but couldn’t resist sharing their news with Hannah and Lee. ‘That’s marvellous. You two are perfect for each other!’ She threw her arms around Saffy and gave her a big hug, then did the same to Logan. ‘This is the best news I’ve had for ages.’
Lee kissed Saffy on the cheek and shook Logan’s hand. ‘Brilliant news. This calls for a celebration.’
Hannah clapped her hands. ‘Yes, we must celebrate. There’s a bottle of cava in the fridge.’ Saffy watched her sister in amusement. She was positively brimming with happiness. ‘When’s the wedding?’ she asked.
‘We haven’t decided, we only got engaged last night,’ Saffy told her.
Lee returned with the bottle of cava and four glasses on a tray. ‘Sorry it isn’t the real stuff but at least it’s bubbly.’
He popped the bottle and carefully poured the fizzy drink into the glasses, giving them all one each.
‘To Saffy and Logan!’ he said.
‘Saffy and Logan!’ Hannah echoed.
Saffy felt Logan’s hand clasp hers. She turned to him, smiling. ‘To us,’ he said, clinking his glass with hers.
‘To us,’ Saffy echoed.
As Logan’s eyes met hers she wished she could freeze this moment forever, put it in a frame marked ‘the happiest I’ve ever been’ and treasure it.
Chapter Forty
September
Robbie and Duncan’s wedding was a spectacular affair, as Saffy knew it would be. Both the grooms looked incredibly handsome in snow-white suits and waistcoats, with a black shirt and white tie for Duncan and a white shirt and black tie for Robbie. Saffy’s dress was a gorgeous pale blue, exquisitely cut with a diamanté bodice. Robbie’s nephew was a pageboy and Duncan’s niece was a flower girl. The best man – a mutual friend of the grooms – was dressed in a black suit, pale blue shirt and white tie.