by J. C. Grant
I couldn't believe it, but I actually found myself feeling bad for Dawn. She probably thought he was her Prince Charming, come to sweep her off her feet, save her from the life she'd known.
Instantly, I felt as if a huge shroud had been lifted off our relationship, off my shoulders.
Spending time with Alec had allowed me to see the full picture with David, allowed me to believe the things David had told me and shed light on things David would never be willing to discuss.
Looking at Alec, I felt a dozen emotions bouncing around inside me, the strongest being gratefulness. Grateful to Alec for giving me this gift, lifting the burden off us, a burden I hadn’t even known was still there.
“Come here.” I grabbed Alec's hand, dragging him over to the couch. “Let's do this now.”
“Okay,” he agreed without missing a beat. “Sure you're ready?”
Suddenly, I was nervous, mostly because I wasn't nervous. I should've been worried about kissing him. I should've felt wrong about kissing him. I shouldn't have wanted to kiss him.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded.
His large hands moved to my neck, gently pulling me closer as he leaned in until her mouths met in a soft brushing of lips.
I waited for something to happen. Panic. Attraction. Something. Then his warm, wet tongue slid over my lips, and I realized I felt nothing. It was like kissing my hand. No attraction, no panic... Nothing.
When he finally pulled back, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I answered through a huge grin. “I'm great.”
“So we can skip lunch tomorrow?” he asked with a lifted brow.
“Absolutely.” I couldn't have stopped smiling if I tried.
I didn't know how David was going to feel about what I'd done, but I knew I had to tell him the truth.
I just hoped it didn't blow up in my face.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
I was halfway home when ringing filled the car.
“Hey, babe, you done already?” I asked, knowing there was no way he was.
“Yep.” His rich voice filled my car. “Pick me up at five in Burbank.” It wasn’t a request.
“Really?”
“Yes, ma'am.” His tone shifted, almost accusing. “How’s it goin’ with Alec?”
“Really good.” Despite my calm tone, I found myself gripping the steering wheel nervously. “I'm really comfortable with him.”
“Why’d you go to Sierra Towers today?”
At his hard tone, fear trickled through me, afraid he already knew. Pushing it down, forcing myself to act casual, I answered, “Meredith called. You got an offer. She wanted to know about the clothes you left behind, the jersey.”
“Fuck, Austin.” He sounded part exhausted, part frustrated. When he spoke again, he sounded concerned. “Are you okay?”
The tension immediately drained from my body. “Yeah, babe, I'm fine. I'm good. What's the verdict on the jersey?”
“I don't want it,” he answered dismissively. “So, why are you so good?”
And just like that, the tension was building again with fear of hurting him.
“Well... Alec and I talked a lot. He told me stuff you won't ever talk about, about your arrangements—”
“Austin—” He tried to interrupt.
“And I feel better, and I couldn't help thinking about your little fantasy, about that being the first place we lived...” I trailed off.
“That would've been fucking awesome.” The smile in his voice couldn't be missed.
I hesitated, debating whether to tell him about Alec right then or later.
What if he finds out from Alec? Or Fergus?
“And... I kind of... kissed Alec.”
There was an eerie silence on his end.
As the silence drew out, I had a sinking feeling in my chest, and I realized how hard this was going to be for him.
“Like—” He stopped short, seeming to struggle for words, and my heart broke.
“Just kissing,” I reassured him softly. “And touching my face and neck, I think.” I couldn't remember the details of what we'd actually done.
After another silent moment, he muttered, “Goddamn... I didn't realize how fucking bad that was gonna hurt.”
“He's gay, and your friend,” I reminded him uselessly as I pulled up to a stop light.
“I know several gay guys who fuck girls to keep up appearances,” he grumbled.
“Well...” I did too, so I had no come back. “He doesn't have that vibe.”
“What is the vibe between you two?” His voice was gruff with just a hint of insecurity.
“Flirty, like a girlfriend?” I struggled to find the right words.
“Explain,” he demanded.
“Like no blurry lines, nothing even edging on questionable? No sexual tension or energy involved. Like being with a girl. If that makes sense.”
He made a noise, part frustrated, part resigned, before finally saying, “Okay.” He paused. “How much do you love me?”
“More than I can even deal with.”
“Good.” His tone was a rasped threat when he added, “Coming home in a couple hours. Get ready. I'm gonna wear you out.”
“I'm so ready.”
When the call ended, I changed direction, heading to the house to pick up the Range Rover. When I pulled up to the gate, it wouldn't open. That's when I noticed the camera's. They were well hidden, but new and out of place to me.
There was a knock on my window, and I jumped, my hand flying to my chest. I turned, finding Fergus.
Fucking ninja.
Rolling down my window, I said, “I forgot you were following me.”
“That was kind of the point,” he said simply. “Let me program the gate to your car.”
After he was done, I pulled into the garage, climbing out.
“The truck is already done, but I need your phone, to program it. You’ll need it from now on when you're here to let anyone in or out.” He held out his hand. “And to get in, in case the car system resets.”
Damn, David wasn't messing around about the security.
“Okay.” I handed over my phone, my voice was small, feeling like I'd caused this mess.
“The house will be ready for you two by tomorrow night,” he informed me as he worked on my phone. “You're picking up David now?”
“Yeah.” I felt like I was on lockdown.
He nodded, handing my phone back, as if giving me permission to leave. Then added, “Straight there. We're both tracking you.”
Apparently, I was on lockdown.
Soon as I pulled up to the arrivals terminal, David was climbing in, forcing me to climb over into the passenger seat.
“Get that sweet ass over there.” He gave me a hard smack, which turned into a squeeze as I crawled over the wide console.
His mood was not what I'd expected. I'd been afraid he would be brooding or hurt, maybe a little pissed, but he was in a great mood, playful and sweet.
He drove us straight over to Bristol Farms.
“Remember the first time we came here together?” he asked as he parked the truck.
A slow smile formed on my face, and I whispered, "Yes."
“Everything's so different now.” His voice was soft, thoughtful.
“How so?”
He looked at me then, studying me.
“We're married, and I'm more obsessed with you than I thought possible. I can barely fucking function without you. You're all I think about. It's all you, 24/7.”
There was a deeper meaning to his words, something he was holding back. Deep down, I knew what it was, but I didn’t dare ask. Instead, wanting to keep things sweet and flirty, I admitted, “I know it's wrong, but I love that.”
A slow, sexy smirk formed on his face.
“Good. Now, let's get something for dinner,” he said, climbing out.
I followed suit, but before I even shut the door, he was there, shutting it for me.
“Come on, sweet
heart.” He seamlessly wrapped his heavy arm around me, tucking me into his side. “Go ahead, I know you want to stick your face in my pit.”
Hitting his ribs playfully, I argued, “I do not stick my face in your pit.”
“Yeah, you do. It's okay if you have some kinda armpit fetish, you can tell me," he goaded.
“David,” I complained, unable to keep a straight face.
His laugh was deep and husky, vibrating through me. I wound my arms around his waist, tucking my head against his firm, warm pec.
“So what do you want for dinner?” he rasped softly, his hand gliding down from my shoulder to my hip.
“Something good.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does something good include ice cream?” he checked, his tone playful.
I loved him like this, especially knowing I was the only one who got to see it. Knowing it was only for me.
“Always.”
It was five o'clock and there were still plenty of paparazzi around the front of the store taking pictures as we walked in.
“David, is your wife cheating with Zach Stone?” one asked.
I felt David's muscles tense as he pulled me closer.
“David, do you think she had him arrested just to cover up her affair?” another added.
“What do you think is really going on?”
“Is it true that they're going to do a TV show together?” they continued to bombard us with questions.
“Who was that woman you were with the other night in Arizona? You've been seen with a lot of different women.”
“I know what my wife does, guys. Trust me. I got that shit locked down tight,” David responded confidently and calmly, but there was something dark underlying that.
I was taken aback with his sudden change in demeanor, but it was sexy as fuck.
Quickly, I recovered and chimed in, “Just look at him, do you actually think anyone would cheat on him?”
“Really?” one spoke up excitedly. “He's the best sex you ever had?”
“No contest,” I said loudly as David maneuvered me into the store.
His hand moved, palming my ass possessively, fingers digging into sensitive spots as a soft growl of approval rumbled through him. Pulling back, I looked up. He wore a smug look of triumph. He was pleased, proud.
“Good girl,” he growled.
My clit throbbed, as much from his words as the fingers applying pressure in the cleft of my ass.
He gave my cheek one last squeeze before he grabbed a shopping cart then gripped my hand, entwining our fingers, pulling me behind him as he easily maneuvered the cart through the aisles, getting what we needed for dinner.
This time was so different than the first time. He had an air about him. Women didn't attempt to approach him. They stared but no one even tried to say hi, no numbers were slip to him, nothing. Everyone kept a polite distance. I didn't think it had anything to do with the public knowledge of our marriage. It was David; he carried himself differently now. Protective. Defensive. Which I guess after what happened yesterday, made sense.
****
“I’m gonna change and start dinner. You shower. I can smell Alec on you,” David directed as we entered my house.
My back stiffened and my stomach sank. I realized then, David hadn't kissed me since I picked him up, not once since he arrived.
“I’m sorry—” I started.
He waved me off. “Just shower, sweetheart.”
David started stripping as I headed for my bathroom.
I quickly showered, then pulled on a pair of sweat shorts, a bra, and an off-the-shoulder tee.
As I headed down the hall, I could hear the soft chords of Bruno Mars’s “Gorilla” playing; the song from our wedding night.
When I entered the living area, I took my time appreciating my gorgeous husband, who had expertly taken over my kitchen.
I sat at the breakfast bar watching his sculpted body moving around. He was wearing nothing but the loose, low-hanging gray sweat shorts I'd given him for Christmas. They were so low I could clearly see the top swells of his ass flexing and moving.
“You've never used these burners, have you?” he muttered with his back still to me.
I couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement, either way I was offended.
“Yes, I have.”
A low chuckle was his only response.
He turned then, facing me, wiping his hand on a rag. "Thirsty?"
Something about his tone had my heart fluttering like a hummingbird, anxious.
“Yeah,” I answered through my growing dread.
Grabbing a water out of the fridge, he placed it in front of me, then braced his hands on the counter, watching me.
I held onto the water with both hands, steeling myself for whatever was next.
“You're not doing sex scenes with Alec.” His voice was rough, but the statement was simple. Casual.
It took a moment to fully comprehend.
“What?” I breathed, feeling like I had the wind knocked out of me. “David, I already signed the contract.”
“I know. And I thought I could deal with it, if it was him. But after today...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I can't. I just can't.”
I sat there stunned, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also didn't want to back out of the show.
“I called Alec after we talked. He gets it. So I'm gonna be his stand-in for your sex scenes—and don't worry, I already called Jeff. He's fine with it.”
Slowly, the tension drained for my body as everything sank in.
“Those are the only wide-shot sex scenes you have. All the others can be done with the body double.”
That was true. I'd done that on purpose, to convey the difference between him and the other men.
Intense and emotional versus a purely physical indulgence.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “It'll be a lot easier with it being you. We can make it a lot sexier—more real.”
His mouth lifted on one side, his disarming almost smile, and he muttered, “Damn, I thought you'd put up a fight.”
He seemed impressed, or maybe just surprised.
“Why? It's more time with you. Correction, more time naked with you. Nothing to complain about.”
“Austin—” He paused, looking down at the counter, blowing out a harsh breath.
When his eyes met mine, I understood how much this meant to him.
“Seriously fucking love you,” he swore, his voice thick with emotion. “You could've told me no, could've told me how fucked up this is—how unprofessional it is, because believe me, I know this shit is seriously unprofessional.”
My eyes stung and I swallowed thickly, deeply moved by his declaration. “David, I understand.”
“I could have destroyed your career with that phone call—and you understand. You're not even mad.” He shook his head, seeming in awe.
“David—”
“This, this is how I know you love me.”
I'd never seen him like this, so uncomfortable and insecure about what he had done, so grateful for my acceptance.
Maybe I should've been more upset, maybe I would've been before the earlier revelations, but for whatever reason, I wasn't.
He was right; his call to Jeff could have lasting negative effects for me, but I had a feeling Jeff wasn’t too surprised by the request, seeing as he was not only aware of David’s irrational possessiveness, he was depending on it.
“You're going with me to Arizona in the morning.” David’s soft demand brought me back to the present as he placed a plate of glazed salmon and zucchini tots in front on me. “Jeff's going to have them bump up the body double casting call for tomorrow. They'll e-mail you the pictures, and we'll sit down and choose together.”
Still staring at the masterpiece David created, I let out a heavy breath and nodded.
Sounded easy enough.
Suddenly, I felt reliev
ed.
Guess I was more concerned about being naked with Alec than I thought.
“You all right?”
My gaze met his then. His expression was stoic, but his eyes... The vulnerability there broke my heart.
I really hurt him by kissing Alec.
When I gave a jerky nod, he came around, sitting next to me, pulling his chair close until he thick thighs framed mine, caging me in.
As his large hand smoothed over my bare thigh, I asked, “Can I get a massage this weekend?”
His expression softened.
“Sweet girl, you can have any fucking thing you want.”
David
As soon as she stepped out of the truck, I grabbed her hand, entwining our fingers, giving her reassurance, comfort. She’d had an anxious energy since we woke up. Hell, so had I.
That was one of the reasons why I’d asked Harold to put me out for injury today. Friday night, I’d decided I needed to be here, for her anxiety and my sanity. I needed to insert myself into her on set life as much as possible, make sure she felt my presence, even when I wasn’t around.
The other was, I wasn’t ready to let her be on set with Alec without me yet. I was pretty sure I was more uneasy than she was, not that I’d ever let her know.
The weekend had helped to soothe my discomfort over their kiss. Somewhat.
God, that fucking kiss.
In my head, I knew that kiss meant nothing to either one of them, but that's not how it felt.
It was ridiculous. I knew it was ridiculous. I trusted Alec. Alec, Aaron, and Fergus were the only men I would ever trust around Austin, but it didn't seem to matter to my heart, or whatever the fuck that crippling pain in my chest was. It had felt like I was being gutted with a butter knife.
I didn't know what I'd been thinking.
How did I ever believe I was going to be cool with her making out with anyone? Even Alec?
It was a moment of temporary insanity—delusional from my need to give her everything she wanted.
“I can't believe this is really happening,” she whispered excitedly. “I'm so nervous.” She gripped my bicep with her other hand, hugging herself to my arm as we crossed the parking lot.